Star Wars are mentioned in 10 posts, which ranks #63 overall for things. It is most often associated with these...

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I was just talking to Allistralian and I remembered a story I totally forgot to tell you all. I was sitting in a hotel room in Oshkosh, WI watching TV with my mom, my brother-in-law Bryan, and sister-in-law Krouton. There was nothing particularly good on (except the old school Saturday Night Live hosted by Pee Wee Hermann with musical guest some-crappy-zydeco-band) so we were flipping. As my mom breezed by TLC, I saw the logo for Sheer Dallas and made her stop.

As I explained the premise of the show, they announced that the stylists were going to pair up for a big hair contest. It was a radio announcement I knew all too well, since I was in Pompeo, the salon, when it happened. I mentioned that this was where I got my hair done, although I refused to tell my mother just how much my haircut had actually cost. About halfway through the show, I said, "Hey, there's Xristopher, my stylist!" And a few seconds later ... you guessed it! ... BAM, a full head shot of yours truly. I was on TLC for 3 glorious seconds, sitting in a chair with a head full of foil. It was one of the proudest moments of my life. If anybody else happened to witness the blessed event, do be sure to let me know.

Next order of business, I went and saw Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith tonight. I was gonna put it on my movie reviews, but I thought it was deserving of blog status. This movie was so badass. If you're a Star Wars fan at all, you're going to love it. If not, you'll still probably love it. There were so many badass elements to it, but my favorite was at the end. Before you whine and bitch, we all know what happens at the end, so I'm not ruining the movie. That'd be like me telling you the Titanic sinks. But when Darth Vader walks into the ship with the Emperor, they made it look exactly like Episode IV. They didn't revamp it at all. All the computers had ridiculously large, square LEDs that serve no purpose and all the dudes in there were wearing the old skool military uniforms. Love it. Go see it and let me know what you think.

To tie it all together, I think on my next haircut, scheduled for sometime in late June, I might go towards the dark side.

BUM BUM BUM BUMBA DUM BUMBA DUM

I normally don't talk about work on my webpage, mostly because I do NOT want to get dooced. But I think these observations are fairly harmless. I decided to "steal" "Owen's" style of blogging and put some figure numbers on my images. Then after I was done with the tedious photoshopping of each image, I changed my mind on the order. So fuck off if you can't get past the point that my figures are out of order (although if I was my TA, I'd give me a zero on this blog just for that). These are just a couple of things that I find really amusing on construction sites that most of my readers will never see because you're not construction workers like me!

You know how there are electrical boxes like everywhere behind the scenes of a building? Well, there are. I've illustrated it here in our first picture, Figure 4, so you could know what I was talking about. When each of those metal pipes is connected to the box, a hole has to be drilled in the outer casing. The diameter of these pipes is roughly that of a quarter. So here is my advice to you the next time you are on a job site. Don't pick up the little silver circles left behind by this drilling. And whatever you do, DON'T yell, "Hey, I found a quarter! Is it on heads?!" and then pick one up.

Okay, now onto the topic that I'm really excited to try and explain. There are pipes that take hot and cold water from the boiler and chiller (respectively) all throughout the building. Air is then blown across a coil of pipes containing this water to either heat or cool the air (respectively). It is then blown into the room and all the fat teachers in menopause bitch that it's always too hot or cold (disrespectfully). These pipes have to be insulated, naturally. After a foam insulation is wrapped around the pipe, it is usually finished off with a PVC coating like the one shown in Figure 1. There are just pieces layin around all over the job site. And every day, I have to fight, fight, fight the insatiable urge to put these pieces on my body like a Storm Trooper. They would be soooo perfect. Just to prove my point, check out Figure 2 where I actually found a nerd on the internet that shows you the pieces you need to be a Storm Trooper. Can you imagine how cool I would be if I came out of the chiller plant dressed up like Figure 3? Not only would I not need a hard hat and safety glasses ... but I could sleep standing up and no one would be the wiser. Thanks for bearing with me while I explained these very technical ideas that came to me as I wasted away on a job site. Laaaaaaaaaaate.

I always try to turn people I see on campus into internet celebrities. Usually I save them in my back pocket for slow days when I have very little to talk about. However, they've accumulated over time, so I need to introduce you all to four of my favorite new people...

The Bus Talker: This delightful fellow sports acne scarred skin, buzzed hair, and a lazy eye. He wears slacks that are 4 inches too short, and always sports some sort of free T-shirt. A real ladies' man. And as the name suggests, he never, ever shuts the fuck up on the bus. The worst part is, he tells the same story ... every day. I've now heard this story like 5 times. And he always sits next to the hottest girl on the bus and strikes up this conversation with her. He saved up for two years to earn $3,000 to go to Italy. While he was there he stayed at all 4 and 5 star hotels and ate in only the fanciest restaurants. He especially liked the shopping because he's a-really into-a the-a Versace. Oh yeah, he does it all with a fake accent deserving of a performance on Loony Tunes.

Medieval Friar: When I first saw this guy, I thought perhaps we should try to hook him up with cape girl, but upon second viewing and further inspection, I realized what he has on isn't at all a cape. It is indeed something you might expect to see an extra in the B version of Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves wearing. He was also wearing a bandana on his head which just completed the look. I kind of wanted to engage him in a bow fight in the middle of a river. "There was a rich man from Nottingham..."

Bluehawk: I just saw this guy today for the first time and fell instantly in love. He's not really someone I want to make fun of, I more want to shake his hand. He has the best mohawk I have ever seen, and it is tall, and real, and blue. I thought he might be easy for you people with camera phones to spot.

Nerf Herder: This guy is better suited to be an extra on the digitally remastered Star Wars than a student at A&M. I wouldn't make fun of him if he hadn't made my morning a living hell. He is short, mentally and physically handicapped, only uses one arm, has the mange, and always hobbles around with a suitcase on wheels. This morning when the bus was completely packed shoulder to shoulder, he decided to stand facing me instead of the front of the bus. And he decided to stare at my face the entire time. Oh yeah, he also decided to not brush his teeth this morning and breathe on me the whole way. Luke, use the force, run to Degoba.

As with our previous characters Cape Girl and Padawan Boy ... neither of whom have been capture on film yet, I will pay cold hard cash to anyone who sends me any pictures of any of these people. This is not a bluff, I will totally pay you for pictures. Get out there and snap photos! Easy money! AAAHHH!

My life is a perpetual hangover. I would go into more detail on that statement and get philosophical, but you all know that is not what this webpage is about. What is it about?

Well, last night Dustin and Trey came over for an ice cream party. I had a craving the other night for raspberries. I may or may not have revealed this little fact before, but I will do anything for raspberries. If you're ever at the bargaining table with me, money's not very effective ... bring raspberries. I knew they were out of season, so they were a tad expensive, but they were sooo worth it. I brought them home and threw a handfull of sugar on top of them, and they just melt into this raspberry sludge that made me giddy. So, I bought some ice cream and put the berries on top.

Dustin, being Dustin, brought a bottle of wine with him and we sipped on that til it was gone, and then decided to go out. I got drunk and ended up leaving with Raul and Terysa and partying back at Terysa's crib. It was a lot of fun, but I woke up hungover again and my throat is on fire. I hadn't smoked all last week and it is amazing how quickly your throat gets acclimated to not being singed every hour. I met a bunch of people last night. Raul mentioned SideshoViD.com. Anytime people find out that I have a webpage, they immediately want to be on it. Even if they've never seen it and don't know the url. This was the case with Brandon, but I promised him, nonetheless, that I would mention him. Ryan Byrd showed up at the shindig as well. It's never a party without him. And Josh Sievers seems to think I don't talk about him enough, which is probably true. And naturally, if I mention Josh I don't want Leslie to get jealous. They were both out at the club last night, and its always a pleasure to run into them (don't worry, they're okay).

On another note, the money is still up for grabs. The picture that Sean got was of a guy with a really long braided rat tail. The guy deserves our derision, but he is not Padawan Boy. So keep snapping pictures! I didn't want Sean to feel bad, so I thought I would include his picture anyway. Nice shot, btw, especially considering it was taken with a phone.

Last little note: Thanksgiving is set for December 10th. That is the Wednesday in two weeks, aka the first day of the Dead Days this semester. You are all invited, however, I would appreciate it if you would let me know if you want to come. And in order to get in the door you have to contribute something to the feast. If you don't cook, a loaf of bread, a bottle of wine, a case of beer ... all these are appropriate. I might also need another fold-out table or some chairs. That would depend on who is coming. I just can't make as many sides this year because I have a small crappy kitchen, whereas this summer we had a big kitchen and 3 of them right next to each other to use. It will still rule though because my turkeys are the best. Hope to see most of you there!

I'm still not feeling well, which I am using as my excuse for the sparse updates as of late. In fact, I'm feeling so crappy that I didn't even go out last night. The last time I didn't go out on a Thursday was because I had an exam at 8am on Friday ... which, btw, I just got back today and I made a strong A on it. Boo yah. Going to class is overrated.

I am talking to Jellienuts right now about several things. One of which being his webpage coming back online. That's very exciting for me, and I'm sure you'll all agree once he unveils the new creation. I'll keep you posted. I also must congratulate our dear friend Jellienuts on his graduation from puppet school. Today was his last day of puppet school ever. Congrats! We also had a lengthy conversation concerning the Food Network and a a couple other cable shows. He said judging from my blog he would guess that I don't watch a lot of TV, but I want to assure you all, that I do, indeed, watch many, many hours a day.

Next order of business ... if you're looking to collect on my freelance photography opporitunity you had better hurry. Sean informed me today that he is in possession of a digital picture of the young padawan. He apparently rides the same bus as Sean, and he was sneaky in snapping a picture of him with his picture phone. He still has to find a way to download the picture so he can send it to me, but once he does, that chance for fast cash will be gone, and it'll be down to cape girl. Just food for thought.

Lastly, I went to the third annual Diversity Symposium last night. It was pretty cool, but not as good as last year (see Friday, November 22, 2002). Of course, there were no celebrities from Real World, so it was as good as you can expect. We did get to listen to the new director of diversity at A&M speak. That was cool. Keith met up with me to go to the symposium and had some good points about it. He felt like everyone was really pussy footing around the issues. In an attempt to be sensitive to all people, they kind of missed the problems all together. I dunno, I think its still a step in the right direction. Anything that is the opposite of what the Young Conservatives of Texas would do is A-OK with me. I hate those fucks. </irony>

I have another installment for you all in the "Have you seen this person on campus before" files. Joseph actually suggested this one to me, which was funny because I'd already planned on blogging about this girl previously. But, since I always have my pulse on the heartbeat of my viewers, I upped this blog in the precedence of future blogs. So let us begin to paint the picture...

She's not a particularly beautiful girl, but I wouldn't say wholely unattractive. She is a slightly overweight African American. She doesn't really wear weird clothing, nor does she act in any inappropriate ways, but I bet you've all seen her before.

You would recognize her by the massive cape she wears. I mean a big ass medieval-style cloak. Its huge and appears to be some sort of purple crushed velvet. My favorite part about her is that she wears her backpack underneath the monstrocity, so when she walks by, it appears as though she has a massive ass, and it always makes me giggle.

So, if you have seen this girl on campus, talked to her, run into her, thrown something at her, etc, whatever, just hit me up with a comment and let me know about your experience. If you've seen her eating lunch with the Jedi padawan, you win double secret bonus points.

UPDATE: This was Joseph's idea and I liked it so much I had to post this addendum. If anyone can snap a picture of either cape girl or padawan boy and send it to me I will give you $50. Start up your freelance photography job at SideshoViD.com. With all the picture phones out there, I'm sure this can happen. Say CHEESE!

The other day on campus I saw a guy with a Jedi padawan hair cut. As embarassing as it is that I knew it was a padawan (hopefully, I'm misspelling it), he should be 10 times as embarassed to have the haircut. I would waste my time going to find a picture of it for you all, but meh. Its like a normal haircut but it has a tiny little pony tail in the back. The point of my story is that it was ridiculous looking and despite the fact that I've never been a physical bully, I was compelled to push his books out of his hands.

In other news, I hadn't talked to Brandon in over a month, and decided I would give him a call the other day. Turns out his phone had been disconnected, and I didn't have his new number. No biggie. I sit on the issue for a couple of days. Then I was talking to Dave and he mentioned that Brandon had gotten a new phone and shared that number with me. I wasn't particularly busy so I phoned him up to see how he's doing. The conversation went something like this:
ViD: "Hey, how are you."
Brandon: "I'm good, how are you?"
ViD: "Good, good, keepin busy with school, you?"
Brandon: "Oh I've just been working a lot"
ViD: "cool ..."
Brandon: "Did you call me today because its my birthday?"

Haha, whoops. Of course I forgot when his birthday was, I have a hard time remembering my own birthday, but I just thought that it was funny amongst the birthday calls to get a ring from me and me have no idea. I tried for about 30 seconds to play it off like I'd totally known, obviously, why else would I call. But he didn't fall for it. So I had to fess up. Oh well.

My hand is healing nicely, the red spot is getting smaller. It still hurts like a bitch. And in response to several recent inquiries, yes, I REALLY did stick a 9V battery to my braces and I REALLY did flash a flash bulb in my eye. So sue me.

And of course bundt cake is spelled b-u-n-d-t but it wouldn't have made sense in the context to spell it that way, smarty pants.