Keith K is mentioned in or commented on 80 posts, which ranks #8 overall for people. They are most often associated with these...

People:

Places:

Things:

Yesterday morning I awoke with a strange desire to brew my own beer. It's been in the back of my head for a year ever since I brewed some apple cider for Thanksgiving '08, but I can't really say what brought it to the forefront. Never being the one to back down from another potentially disastrous project, I set out to the Homebrew Headquarters in Richardson. They have everything you need there as well as several employees who are MORE than willing to help you out with any questions you may have. Go check them out some time.

So I brought home an Australian Pale Ale. Trey has made it twice and his beer has been fantastic, so I figured why mess with a good thing. And I got some dextrose corn sugar because its more easily fermentable than table sugar. And then I got a bag of light malt extract. That's new, Trey never used that, so hopefully my beer will be way better than his. The can of Australian Pale Ale was actually a thick, molasses like syrup that contained all the hops and barley and some sugars. Adding more sugar = more alcohol, so I didn't mind supplementing.

Mix and boil. That's about the only step after sanitizing everything. And sanitizing requires little more than a bleach water soaking for everything involved. My coworker who is a master brewer once told me, sanitation is important, don't skimp on that step ... but also, bear in mind that people used to brew beer in animal skins over open fires with river water, so don't sweat it too much. Who knows how good their beer (or mead) tasted, but they still succeeded in getting drunk. And isn't that just the whole point?

So I made Daniel stand and stir while I was finishing rinsing the bleach off of everything. My little bitty pot started to boil over -- which we were prepared for -- so as it boiled, we scooped it into another bowl and were planning on boiling the wort in two stages. Pretty stupid, but feasible. So I'm in the bathroom rinsing when I hear, "OH NO!" Daniel was stirring with a plastic spatula and when he pulled it out, it no longer existed. The fucking thing had melted down to a stub. As Keiff later pointed out, the only portion remaining was the part stamped with "Caution: Not Heat Resistant." So there we were with a bowl full of cold wort and a pot full of hot wort and a heaping helping of melted plastic. Down the sink it went as I rushed to my car to speed to Homebrew Headquarters before they closed. And I bought another batch of ingredients ... and a 20 quart stock pot.

The second time, Keiff came over to help and it went rather smoothly. We boiled the wort for 15 minutes until it got this really nice, dark caramel color. Then we cooled it down as best we could in a sink of ice, added 4 more gallons of spring water and poured it into the fermenting bucket. I measured the temperature to be right at 80°F which is pretty ideal for the yeast, so I pitched them in. I was worried about them because they weren't bubbling by the time we went to bed, but this morning, they're burping away. I'm so excited. Keiff wants to make a batch now and I told him we could use my equipment and take turns buying ingredients. In a few weeks, we'll bottle, which is also pretty easy with the equipment I'll be borrowing.

And then it'll be Febrehabruarv. Double-edged sword there. Sure, I won't be able to drink the beer I just worked so hard to produce. But, the beer will also continue to improve with age. You have to wait about a week after bottling so the secondary fermentation in the bottle can carbonate the liquid. But they say if you wait up to a month it'll be worlds better. So that's just what we'll do. Beer tasting party at my house, March 1st. Who's in?

Can I please tell you about my new favorite game -- Scene It? Seinfeld Edition. I'd been thinking about buying it ever since the first commercial came on TV, but I had no real reason to get up and go. Until one night when me and Keiff were sitting around drinking beers, bored, and I was like, yup, let's go to WalMart.

The reason this game is so fun is because its kind of like playing Trivial Pursuit. But instead of questions like, "In 1934, this Olympic curler became the first woman to win two silver medals," they have questions like, "What was Elaine referring to when she told Jerry, 'You can read the paper through the whole thing.'" And then you feel smart because during the hours each day that you could be reading and learning, expanding your mind and working toward the betterment of all of humanity, you're vegged out on the couch with a tempurpedic neck pillow watching syndicated episodes of Seinfeld you've already seen 12 times. Oh wait. Maybe that's just me.

Then again, the real reason I may like it so much is that I am currently undefeated. I'm not saying I'm undefeatable, because it's been real, real close a few times. But I always seem to luck out on the question for the win. The other night I was so desperate to play that I made Daniel play with me. Just the two of us. It wasn't really as much fun as it is with 3 or more. There's less of a penalty for getting something wrong because it'll just be your turn next anyway. But it was still pretty funny. The clips are all hilarious.

So if you're looking for a holiday party game this year, and you watch more TV 5pm-6pm and 10pm-11pm than any of your friends, I would highly recommend some Scene It? Seinfeld.

P.S. If this isn't the blog to display the Sidesho Seinfeld logo I made 8 years ago, I don't know what is.

It's been a while since I've updated. My apologies. I just returned from Las Vegas celebrating my brother Stephen's 30th birthday. It was a pretty big deal. The entire trip was kept a secret from him up until I took him and his wife to the airport. And then on top of that, it was another secret that me and my other brother, Michael, were on our way to the airport separately to meet and surprise him with our presence. It was pretty fun sneaking up behind him in the casino while he played video poker. After so many months of preparation, it was such a relief for the big reveal.

So we spent two days gambling, drinking, laying out by the pool, having some very fine high dollar meals, and seeing the Beatles LOVE show. Highly recommend. Also highly recommend Planet Hollywood. It's recently been redone and it is so nice. Nicer than the Bellagio, in my humble opinion. Crazy times.

His birthday was a little bigger deal than mine. I tried to keep the invite casual (I wanted to type "cas" as in short for "casual" there but I'm not sure how to spell it). I didn't even have a place for people to RSVP because I didn't want to get excited that anyone was coming. Daniel was kind of annoyed with me as we got ready to go out to the bar because he was hurrying me along and I was saying what's the point, no one's coming. He was like you always get this way on your birthday. So we got there, and DJ iMernex had reserved us a table. And then we sat. And sat. And sat. And no one came. Daniel was frantically texting people trying to get them to come to no avail. Finally before I called it quits I texted Keiff cause he had said he would try to make it after moving all day and he was on his way over. So hurray! Saved the day. Then we blew that hot dog stand and invited Lindsey over like we should have all along. Lesson learned. Next year, no party ... he said again.

My Harley riding coworker got in a really bad motorcycle accident this weekend. He has two broken ankles, a broken femur, broken ribs, and road rash. I think I need to go get some safety gear before I ride anymore. I'm paranoid now. Not that I wasn't before, but you get the point.

So good times, not much to report from the real world. Gearing up for Australia, dreading the 14 hour flight. But definitely excited. I'll keep you posted.

Last Thursday Aaron Carter -- son of the famed N'Sync member, Nell Carter -- was arrested in Junction, Texas for possession of marijuana. When reached for comment, Carter said only, "Oh, dag! I'm in trouble!"

I find two things about this story interesting. First, it's a good way to dispel the rumors going around that Texas had decriminalized possession of small amounts of marijuana. When in fact, if you had, say not enough weed to roll one joint AND a medical marijuana card in your possession. You're looking at jail time. Now, let me just make it clear that I do not do marijuana cigarettes, nor do I have any desire to, but I think that these laws are so ridiculous. Texas just needs to wake up and realize that smoking weed is no longer a purely Mexican habit like it was in the 1800's so the racism behind the law has kind of fizzled out, and therefore is no longer any fun.

The second thing I found interesting that nobody cared to mention or explain is... what the hell was Aaron Carter doing speeding around Junction in his Cadallac Escalade? If you were to locate "Nowhere" on the map, Junction would be smack dab in the middle of it. And he was alone, so it's not like some tour bus convoy got stopped. So bizarre. He was probably buying weed.

In closing, I'd like to thank Allison and Keiff for emailing me this news story before anyone else had seen it. What does that say about me that they knew it would be big news to me? I guess the same thing it says about them. I'm going to make my stance clear though. FREE AARON CARTER! Why? Why shouldn't he be subject to the same laws that govern our society? 5 Words: Aaron's. Party. (Come. Get. It.)

You're welcome.

First off, I am still alive. I didn't starve myself to death. Secondly, the Master Cleanse is over. I couldn't do it any more. Things just kept getting worse. The hunger I could deal with, no problem. But I was also cold all day every day. And sweating. And my stomach hurt like I was throwing up all the time. And then on the sixth day, severe heartburn showed up. I've only ever had heartburn while sleeping or laying down, but this was just all day while I was working. That's when my resolve finally crumbled. I came home and had a glass of mango juice.

Valentine's Day we went to see Jumper and I had 6 pieces of popcorn. And then a Clif bar and a protein shake later that night. And my stomach went crazy. It's been really difficult transitioning back into food. I can eat like a fourth of what I normally would before I'm uncomfortably full. So that's good. And I'm down to 155 lbs for the first time in years and years, so that's also good. But other than that, I got zero benefit from cleansing my body of imaginary toxins. Perhaps my attitude kept me from feeling good, but I really believe that the human body is perfectly adept at removing "toxins" on it's own without the help of extreme amounts of lemon juice. I do believe some of what the Master Cleanse talks about with the over-medicating of America and how a balanced diet of raw fruits and vegetables is likely the solution to a larger percentage of problems than we care to admit. That putting the right things into your body will prevent sickness and promote healthy weightloss and energy. But then at the same time, I couldn't reconcile that with only putting syrup and lemons in. Seemed counter productive.

So I quit. And I already decided that Febrehabruarv will be less demanding. It'll be more like Febrehabruarii when I spent all my extra money on fine dining experiences.

Now, contrary to everything I've just said, I think I'm gonna go buy some Kinoki pads and see if they can remove some toxins out the soles of my feet!

I make some of my best decisions after a few drinks. You wouldn't have to look any further than my set of Ronco knives to know that. But I have another example now. A 37" flatscreen LCD! I had a little money to spend from xristmas and I was debating between a dining room table with all the necessary accoutrements or a TV and a Wii. At a post-new-years finish-the-keg party, RyanS■■■ and Daniel collectively convinced me that a TV was the way to go. So at 3 in the morning, we jetted off to Wal-Mart to get one. The first store didn't have the one we wanted so we went to another and stopped at Whataburger on the way. I haven't done that in forever. Their taquitos are as good as ever, so that made me glad. And we got the TV, bungee corded the trunk closed and brought it home and set it up at 4 in the morning. It's a Vizio and it has a really good picture, we just don't have any HD signals to feed to it. But Planet Earth look pretty spectacular.

Then we set off to find a Wii. Turns out, that's impossible. Well, impossible for someone with a life. I could spend my days calling stores, figuring out delivery schedules, and standing there waiting for a Wii to come in. Unfortunately, I am employed. So I call a few stores each weekend and they laugh at me. Just as well though, I accidentally overdrafted my account the other day. Not entirely because I'm broke but also because of an accounting error on my part. Nonetheless, it opened my eyes to the fact that I've been spending rampantly for months and have to stop. So I decided no Wii until I'm debt frii. Realistically with Febrehabruariv right around the corner, I can't imagine that won't be March. And we likely won't find one then either. But if anyone has a Wii they're willing to see at face value, let me know. I might take it off your hands in a little bit.

And finally, Febrehabruariv, the first leap year, I am looking so forward to it. Giving up food this year for the middle two weeks. The surrounding weeks, I'll be weaning off and then slowly acclimating back to food. C■■■■ said he was shipping me the book on how to properly do the Master Cleanse, so I'm looking forward to reading that. I'm going to follow it to the letter, no matter what. If I'm in the hospital for malnourishment, I'll be pushing the IVs away. I'll definitely keep everyone posted on that, because it could either be torture, or another inadvertent success. Either way I can't wait. Peace.

Last night I went to a work party. After eating some dinner and socializing for a few minutes, it was right up stairs to play Wii. I think the Wii will probably affect adult parties more than childrens. Bowling and tennis are just too much damn fun. I'm kind of surprised my Wii arm isn't sore. Good thing because that also happens to be my slots arm. I'm leaving for Vegas in a few hours, and I'm not going to lie to you. I'm feeling awfully slotty.

Real quick, though, I gotta tell you what's even better than the Wii. Rock Band. I think it's only out on the XBox 360, or at least it's not out on the Wii. I went to a Rock Band birthday party and we played all night. It is so much fun. There are vocals, guitar, bass guitar, and drums. And the drums are like a massive controller. And then it's just like Guitar Hero where you follow the little colored bars on the screen. Except the vocals, all you have to do with that is stay on pitch at the right time. I feel like such a loser because I've never liked video games before, save Tony Hawk, but now I find myself getting obsessed. Not obsessed enough to buy my own, that costs money, but totally into it, for sure.

Last bit of news, have you all heard that American Gladiators is coming back?! It's hosted by Hulk Hogan and Muhammad Ali's daughter. I think her name is Tatiana. You can go look at all the new gladiators if you google their website. My brother, Stephen, sent me the link and said his favorite one is Fury and I found myself agreeing. You just can't beat a pony tail coming straight up out of a grown woman's head. I was frankly a bit surprised that Wesley "Two Scoops" Barry didn't come back as a gladiator. Anyway, I decided that when I'm a gladiator my name will be Maui, an hommage to Malibu, the greatest gladiator of all time. Stephen said his name would be Laser Beam because he wouldn't be comfortable leaving it at just Laser. So your homework assignment is to leave a comment with your American Gladiator name and why.

If I don't win millions, I'll be back on Wednesday. Peace.

Happy to report things are still going well. I just got back from Daniel's parents' house. His mother cooked this vegetable medley that we poured over soy cheese biscuits. It was pretty delish. She's made a few really exquisite meals for me this month. Such a treat.

One more weekend to go and then, while I am not stopping Febrehabruariii, I am going to reward myself by relaxing the rules a bit. Like tonight, Daniel's mom was going to put anchovies on the salad and remembered last minute to leave them separate. If it were March and there were anchovies on the salad, I would just shut up and eat them. Or if there were wine at the meal, I would have a glass. But for the most part, I am not going to have a cigarette and I'm not going to binge drink. And I'm going to continue to eat a diet that is rich in an assortment of fresh fruits and vegetables instead of 98% soft chicken taco combos. Then we'll just see what happens from there. I am happy to report that my weight loss has resumed, thank g*d, and I've lost a solid 5 pounds now. I'd really like to see more go away, but even this 5 pounds has made a little bit of improvement.

Last weekend we joined our fellow Febrehaber, Lauren, for her game night. She just wanted to have a few friends over to play board games and enjoy a little sober fun. To get people to come, though, she told them if they would like to bring something to drink they could. It turned into too many people drinking and not really being too interested in the games. But I still had a blast. We played Trivial Pursuit Pop Culture Edition and I did pretty well at it. I wasn't the self proclaimed champion of Trivial Pursuit Pop Culture Edition like some people, but I still did better at it then I do the original version that we play at my parents' house.

There was even a chocolate fondue fountain there. It was making a squeeking noise, though, so someone turned it off halfway through the night causing it to solidify and become a total mess. The girl who brought it set out to trying to clean it up. So she had the outer portion of it removed and all that was left was the internal screw that draws the chocolate to the top. Keith told me that he was going to turn it on without the outer portion on. I tried to stop him. I begged him to consider the consequences for his actions. But, alas, I was unsuccessful. Some people. Sheesh. Chocolate went EVERYwhere. We're talking counter tops, carpet, walls, clothes. All I could do was shake my head emphatically and give Keith disapproving looks.

When the wall wouldn't come clean, Daniel and I set off to Walgreens to pick up a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser (the greatest cleaning product known to man). While we were walking around, I got a hair up my ass to get Lauren an "I'm sorry" gift in case she mistakenly thought I had anything to do with turning on the chocolate fountain. What we ended up with was a card that sings, "I'm sorry ... soooo sorry," a decorative bag with tissue paper, Mr. Clean Magic Erasers, and a box of Summer's Eve douche. The card read something like, "Lauren, we're sorry chocolate accidentally got all over your apartment. To apologize we got you the best cleaning products we could find." We giggled for about a solid hour over giving Lauren a box o' douche. The ironic part was that after she opened it, the Summer's Eve still wasn't the biggest douchebox at the party.

But still, it was a great time and we will definitely have to do it again some time. Thanks for being such a gracious hostess, Lauren, and congratulations on being one week away from your first successful Febrehabilitation!

I like to think of myself as an aspirer. There's nothing I really excel at, but there are many, many things I am aspiring to be. Just one of those, as you may know, is a MythBuster. Although I do feel the need to recall my Brita water filter vodka experiment and mention that I did that before the MythBusters did.

Anywho, let me tell you about my latest experiment. This one is based on the episode where they test the absolutely retarded idea that burying beer in the sand, dousing it with gasoline, and lighting it on fire will cool the beer down ... as fire tends to do to things. They obviously busted this myth, but then set about finding out the fastest way to cool down a six pack. Keith can tell you that the fastest way to do so is in a cooler full of ice and salt water. You can bring the temperature of the salt water down to around 25 degrees Fahrenheit, envelop the can in the sub-freezing liquid, and a few minutes later, you've got a frosty cold beer. I've used this a few times in a pinch when the only available case of Kers Lat (or Miller when I'm at Lesbie's) is off the shelf. But it requires a sink, all the ice in the ice maker, and the remainder of salt in the house. Could this be improved?

Hypothesis: If I could get a saline solution with enough salt that it wouldn't freeze solid in the freezer, I could have instant beer cooling liquid on hand at all times. Plop a beer in for 30 seconds, rinse and drink. It should be fast enough that I don't mind doing it one beer at a time.

Research: Now, I do all of my research on the internet from uncertified websites, so if you see any flaws here, please let me know. What I read tells me that the average freezer is set at 0 degrees Fahrenheit ... well below water's freezing point. At first I thought it might be too cold at any salinity. But, another website suggested that when water reaches saturation of salt, the freezing point can be lowered to around -6 degrees Fahrenheit. So, it's probable that if I pour a shit ton of salt into a bowl of water and place it in the freezer, it will still be a liquid in the morning. A super chilled beer frosting liquid.

I was surprised how much salt the water could handle. You wouldn't expect me to be surprised since in the sixth grade I took second place in the science fair with, "Which Liquid Can Hold the Most Salt?" I received glowing comments like, "Why?" No reason, bitch, I was just fucking curious. g*d! Oh well, it was much better than my brother's, "Does Fertilizer Help Plants Grow?" Turns out it does. Anyway, it took about half a can of salt, but I wanted to make absolutely sure that it was saturated and had a few crystals left over that it couldn't absorb. And now, we wait.

I'll keep you all posted on my progress.

I don't get it. I had such a good feeling and it didn't pan out. Weird. Daniel still has a few numbers to check so maybe it'll still work out. You know, you buy one lottery ticket one time and you totally expect to win millions. Life sure is crazy, ain't it? *crooked smile, head shake, casual lean against shoulder height shelf*

So I guess I have to go to work tomorrow. But all the news today wasn't bad. I went to the sleep doctor to discuss the logistics of having a tonsillectomy. I really like the way they take a body part, add -ectomy, and define that as the removal of that body part. Anyway, a tonsillectomy is considered one of the most painful surgeries for adults. It can take like 3 weeks before your life returns to anything like normal. Uuuuuntil NOW!

My doctor said no removing of the tonsils until he gets his new machine. It's some laser that vaporizes tissue. So with a local anesthetic and 30 minutes they vaporize about 90% of the tonsil tissue. And, the healing time is one day. They give you Tylenol and tell you to go to work the next day. Infuckingcredible. So I'm going to be a guinea pig for him. It's going to be so awesome.

Blech, I want guacamole but I think I'll go to bed instead. Later sluts.

Well hello there, everybody. This is Sidesho reporting to you live from Ryan S■■■'s fabulously newly painted apartment ... oh, and also drunk as hail. He was supposed to wake up and drink more with me when I got home but that has proven unpossible. Me fail English?

So tonight I had planned on going out on account that I do not have to work tomorrow. RAWK! But then, lo and behold, I get a call from the callbox of my apartment and it is JennyC■■■ and her mother. They had been at the Kaboom Town hoopla hosted by my gracious landlord and wanted to cool off. Okay, no problem. But then they managed to convince me to join them for the fireworks. More and more, as the years pass, I have found myself less and less interested in the traditional festivities dictacted by every holiday. I couldn't have cared less whether or not I saw fireworks. (Although fireworks do hold a special place in my heart since when I was little my parents used to tell me that the fireworks were in honor of my birthday.) So, I find myself on the top floor of a parking garage watching fireworks. In their defense, it was the best finale I have ever seen in my life. Probably 5 fireworks a second for about 5 minutes. RAD!

After that, we eat at a piss-poor restaurant inside Addison Circle and then I go home. Turns out, every fucking road in Addison is a parking lot. At this point, I've resolved myself to not go out, on account that I cannot leave the parking garage. A few IMs with Ryan S■■■ later, I am on the road bound for downtown Dallas. It was rigoddamndiculous getting to the Tollway, but when I finally did, we were en route to JRs. Keith and Lauren and some girl named Katie that I met for the first time tonight (?) joined us. I managed to get drunk as hail between 12:30 and 2:00am. But that couldn't possibly be enough for me, right? Right?!

So I took Ryan S■■■ home to his beatiful and newly painted apartment and proceeded to drink some more when disaster struck. We are out of cigarettes! Unacceptable when plastered. So he goes to bed and I walk my happy ass to the 24-7 Wally Mart nearby to get some. I talked to my lover Marshall the whole way there. That was fun since I haven't talked to him in 4-eva, and he claims to have blonde hair now. So anyway, I bought some squares, as Joseph would call them, and then walked home to find Ryan - surprise - passed the fuck out and me drinking alone.

So there we are. By my records, I have made zero grammatical mistakes. You're more than welcome to double check that assertion. You'll notice that when I'm drunk I just ramble; I don't skimp on the important stuff. Please don't forget that my birthday is on Wednesday. No one that I know of has made any plans for me, so I think I'm going to take Thursday off of work and go out Wednesday with Andrew. I'll definitely keep you all posted on that. Later sk8ers!

Since I've been back to working in the office every day, I've also started tanning again. The salon I go to is kind of far from my apartment, but it's right on the way home from work. I know nobody will ever notice except for me, but it's really starting to work. It's a subtle change from sickly pale to really pale, but it does wonders for my self esteem. I like knowing that I'm getting tanner. Not like Danny Tanner, but maybe like DJ Tanner.

Long ago when I lived with Keith he told me what I still consider to be one of the funniest things ever said. He was going to get a turn table, learn how to spin, and then call himself DJ Tanner. And I would join him up on stage under my psuedonym, DJ Connor. Wouldn't everyone in the world come to see us? And the flyer design would be obvious.

I didn't end up having that party this weekend. Ryan H■■■■'s parents went out of town and he couldn't leave his dog alone overnight. I'm not sure what that's all about but we had to reschedule. Instead, I hung out with Thommi who came to visit me. We did the normal weekend of window shopping and drinking. I got crabs.

Thommi got popcorn shrimp.

Last night I got a call from my old friend Karen who has now moved to Dallas and lives just blocks away from me. I decided to take her to mine and Ryan Cloutier's special little place -- The New Amsterdam Coffeehaus. They have all kinds of fun beers. Unfortunately for me, they are all 8 or 9 percent alcohol so I wasn't quite in control of my consumption. When it was time to leave, we were talking to two guys that had a table next to ours. One of them had a cool jacket and he let me try it on.

As we were leaving, I had to pause briefly to throw up on the street, and consequently my shoes. How unbecoming. Then, the confusion begins. For some reason after this display of public intoxication, the four of us decided to go back to my apartment all the way in Addison. What's additionally confusing is that the guy whose jacket I wore drove me and followed Karen and his friend. Why wouldn't we have ridden with the people we knew? Who thinks to themselves, "This guy just douched out a planter, I think I'd like him in my truck!"

Alas, he paid for his affability. As we were cruising up Central Expressway, I had to roll down the window and puke out the side of a strangers truck going 70mph in the rain. When I was finished, I put a 10 dollar bill in the console of his car. He rather angrily said, "Don't insult me," and threw it back at me. "I'm not trying to buy your forgiveness," I replied, "I'm trying to buy you the super ultra deluxe car wash." He laughed and accepted my meager compensation.

When we got home, I emulated Lil Jarrod last weekend. Lil Jarrod just turned 21 and I had the esteemed honor of driving him to dinner and then to the bars where we met up with some friends. I also had the esteemed honor of bringing him home, which involved carrying him to my apartment, and holding his hair while he regurgitated the evening. So there I was, layin on the wonderfully cold tile next to the toilet. Who knows how long I was there. I woke up this morning in bed fully clothed, but not fully aware.

I wonder how long they all hung out in my apartment. I could call Karen but I'm a tad embarassed. Tonight I'm mosdef just takin it easy and cleaning. Although cleaning, combined with the flier attached to my door, have convinced me that it is time to hire a maid. It's unacceptable to clean every 3 months. Maria could do it once a week. I'll probably look into that when I get back from Europe. I'll be in Sweden in exactly a week, but I'll have internet access so it'll be like I'm not even gone.

One last random observation. I was driving through a school zone and I looked at the crosswalk sign. Isn't it odd that the man and woman are both carrying attaché cases? Who does that? And why hasn't some rednek complained that the man has a purse yet. Think about it. Peace.

I was musing today on the purpose of life and just felt obliged to share it with you all. The secret to life is to be happy. Most people would agree, but I go further to say that your job in life is to be happy. Happiness is not a product of circumstances, its a result of work towards obtaining happiness.

There is no right or wrong way to accomplish this goal. Everyone must figure out for themselves what it is they need to be happy. And unfortunately, that usually has some opportunity costs associated with it. If being skinny is what would make you happy, then get skinny. You may lose enamel on your teeth, but if you're okay with that, then go for it. If you're sad and marijuana makes you happy, then smoke your little heart out. You might go to jail or get lazy and stupid, but if that's what it takes, huzzah.

I once read a thing that most people are unhappy because of the Missing Tile Syndrome. This is where you see a beautiful mosaic and all you can do is focus on the one missing tile. To fix this, you can either find that tile, replace it with another, or ignore it and look at the tiles that aren't missing. If you're bald, and that's all you can see, get a toupee. People will make fun of you for wearing a toupee, but at least you aren't bald.

Like me, for instance, people always ask about my job, whether I enjoy it or not. I'm always indifferent. It's just my job. It's what I do, not who I am. It's not what makes me happy or keeps me from happiness. For some people it is, and that's cool. What makes me happy is sequined shirts, argyle socks, booze and European vacations. My job facilitates me buying all that, so I keep it. Opportunity cost is I get up early every day. I have a feeling, though, if I were a rock star, I'd be waking up at 6pm thinking, "Ugh, if I have to do ONE more show this week." Work, no matter how drab or fab, just does not do it for me.

Anyway, that should be enough preaching for now. I just felt like sharing. I hope you all have a wonderful day, and don't forget to tip your waitress.

Dear all you bitches who said I would get fired,
I got a raise today.
Har dee har fucking har.
Love,
Sidesho

In fact, my year-end review said that I was doing "outstanding," had "exceeded all expectations," and had "received praise from co-workers both in and out of [my] department." It's kind of hard to argue with that. And that's in print, bold-faced, and in my permanent record. So to everyone who scoffed at me going in late 6 months in a row, everyone who turned their nose up at my mid-day naps, anyone who thought noon was too early to call it a day, and the nay-sayers who thought skipping a day was grounds for immediate termination, I say sit on it. I'm doing an outstanding job. Besides, you can't hold it against me that I'm as much as three times more productive than the average human.

The only thing my boss said he was worried about, concerning yours truly, is that I would be quitting relatively soon. He said I have too much education and potential for this job to hold me longer than 4 years. He doesn't know I was planning on quitting Tuesday. But, he does make a good point. I am terribly bored with work. But you just can't deny how sweet it is to land yet another job where I do what I want, and the allure of making that into a career.

Oh goodness, look at me going on and on about myself. How dreadful. You all KNOW how I hate to toot my own horn.

My workouts are going well even though Mr. K■■■■■■ has fallen "ill" and I've been flying solo every day this week. Except this time I'm being literal; I have gone every day this week. Even though I am still morbidly obese, at least my arms are muscular enough to lift my fat ass off the ground. Hopefully Febrehabruary will take care of that. (I changed the name from Frehabruary to Febrehabruary. While they both look fine in print, the latter is definitely easier to speak aloud.)

Did you notice my grammatically correct usage of the semi-colon in the paragraph above? My grammar book (Eats, Shoots & Leaves) is positively fascinating. I am learning so much from it. And its fuuunnnnny.

Allison left for Australia yesterday. I hope she likes lederhosen and wienerschnitzel, ja. JKJK. I'm not much for sloven goodbyes, but I did get her a picture frame that said "Best Friends" along the top and then "Sydney July 2005" along the bottom. When I saw it on the shelf, I thought it was so appropriate and definitely freaky that they were mass producing them. JKJK again! I had it engraved. That's my new thing. You're nobody unless you get an engraved gift from me. Except for Ryan S■■■ who got a kickass DVD stand. That was from the heart. Anyway, back to Allison. She'll be gone for a year but I'll see her this summer, so that's not too bad. I wish her the best ... shrimp on the barbie.

I bought a big bottle of pomegranite juice. It's called Pom. Much like every other juice ever produced, it claims to be really good for you. I'll tell you one thing: it's fucking delicious. If you are just joining us and aren't familiar with the fruit, search my site for it. I have a great explanation somewhere in the past. The only downside of the juice is that it was 10 bucks for something the size of a cranberry cocktail. That's too expensive to have it on my permanent online shopping list, but a definite treat now and again.

I think I'll end on that note because I'm rambling a tad. I miss you all and apologize for my continued unpluggedness. We'll all get through this soon enough. Peace out, my little have nots. I love you all.

I am contacting you all from the year two thousand and fabulous five ... oooohhhh. Rang in the thang with a bang, and then a hang ... over. Pacey McSipperson came up to hang out with me. I apologize for the code names, but his massive web of lies has engulfed me. We went out to the Velvet Hookah Thursday with Allison and Noah, and Kieffer showed up. Disaster! The service was the worst I've ever experienced, the drinks were so weak we had to send them back to have them put liquor in them, and my tab was 100 fucking dollars. If I spend 100 dollars at a bar, I expect to at least catch a buzz. I will have to be more weary of the help the next time I go. Owen's friend Joanna's friend Aaron has always been a good bartender, and he's more fun to look at.

After all that nonsense we went out to the bars and got drunk. I accidentally didn't make it to work at all on Friday, which is an unprecedented first for me (at this particular job). I hope no one noticed. I might have to sacrifice a vacation day if they did. That or be fired, whichever. Friday was New Years, so Debbie Downer and I went shopping for new outfits. We both got the coolest shirts from Source Paris in the West Village. Everyone go shop there. Their clothes are incredible. Adam was stalking us the entire time.

Went out with the crew, much of the DS Crew was out as well. Hit up Station 4, henceforth to be referred to as S4. There was much revelry to be had, although at midnight I didn't get a kiss. Instead I got a dirty look from Glarin' Thomas right before he ditched me. So now I'm walking around the club by myself looking for my friends. I found them though and all was well in 2005. Next night, much of the same. Went to S4, got ditched by Shady McDitcherson and entertained myself until Glarin' Sean called me over to Round Up. I met a bunch of A&M people so that was fun.

Enough narrative though. To sum it up, I've spent an exorbitant amount of money and drank an unhealthy level of beer, vodka and wine. I also painted two walls in my living area red like my kitchen. I love it. But you have to wait to see it until I finish painting the rest of it tan. It'll look much better then. Get excited!

Last bit of news, I went to this website because they had an advertisement on myspace. It's too fun. Everyone go to Neighborhoodies.com and buy me something. Then we'll see whose hoodie or tshirt fits my personality the best and that person will win. If you need my shipping address let me know.

The other night when Allison was spending the night I had a dream that was upsetting enough that I decided to come get on my computer and type out what had happened. In case you don't know, I've diagnosed myself with both insomnia and sleep apnea, so when I finally get tired enough to fall asleep, I never really hit REM, which makes for a plethora of fucked up dreams. This is what I typed out at 4am when I woke up:

i was walking along the street when there was this bright light that i fell into
i woke up and i was a soldier on the battle field
when the commanding officer asked me who i was i said 'david f■■■■' but since i had no ID i was arrested for lying
i was in jail and i was asking all kinds of questions about where i was and what was going on
thommi was in jail
i finally discerned that i had fallen into a wormhole and woken up 17 years later at the age of 40
i called matt p■■■ from jail and asked 'are you 40' and he was like 'wow haven't heard from you in forever, yeah im 40'
so now i'm freaked out
start the fragmented nonsequitor portion
edward s■■■■■ was a doctor
my apartment was no longer mine
i got onto my old screen name though
i was excited that i had 17 years worth of movies to watch
i looked in the mirror and saw my face at the age of 40
i asked a lot of questions about everything that had gone on
they were upping the quota of stem cells that were produced
drugs had been completely eradicated
i started to think maybe this wasn't so bad, i had skipped some boring ass parts of life
i talked to keith at work, he used the same phrase he used to use 17 years earlier about wanting me to come work again and he hated working with idiots
he got me my job back at ■■■
my cell phone still worked
my parents called and left a voicemail
i realized they'd been calling me every year on the day of my disappearance
my mother kept repeating 'i told myself i wouldn't do this, i told myself it wouldn't be this hard'
she was crying
i called our old house number hoping it would be the same
she answered
i couldn't speak, the enormity hit me
there was no passage of time for me but her son had gone missing for 17 years
my mouth went dry
'its david'
she angrily, hopefully, emotionally replied 'what?'
'its david' i said again as my voice cracked in tears
'oh my god'
'mother its me david!' ... i woke up speaking these words aloud and crying

My trip to College Station was a rousing success. I saw so many people that I haven't seen in forever. I met a bunch of new people too. And somewhere in the middle of those two experiences ... I met lots of people that I've known for years but never bothered to remember -- namely, ALL of Keiff's female friends. The drive down was a b-last. It's been so long since team Gill 'n Al have made a road trip. We rawked out the whole way. Trying to describe it in words will only fall short, but I'll just say that I almost passed out from singing the Moulin Rouge soundtrack too loud.

I don't want to go into too much narration about my weekend, but I did take a shower at Jason's, stop off at Dustin and Trey's, see Marshall at Hoblob (his hair is so hot now), check out Tommy's ultra chic downtown loft, visit Josh and Nelly, and attend Burns' and Lauren's ring dunking party. Burns was pretty optimistic about beating my modest 65 second mark, but he fell quite short. I think he came in at 94, which I say assuming he will correct me if I'm wrong. Lauren took several minutes, but I was still proud of her for finishing decently for a girl. Of course, chugging beer is what college ... nay, life ... is all about, but I suppose some congratulations are in order for even attaining the coveted Aggie Ring. So congrats, children, congrats.

After drinking all the free beer we could, Dustin, Trey, Jason, Tommy and I all ventured over to Halo. I saw so many people there. It was way too fun. I drank myself retarded, attempted to dance, had many conversations that are not catalogued in my ever decreasing memory banks. This was a fantastic trip to CS, I accomplished all of my goals of alcoholism.

In other exciting news, Allison got herself a job for when she graduates in December. She's been interning at HP for a while now and has decided to further that career professionally. The exciting part? She's been hired in Sydney fucking Australia. How awesome is that?! Major congrats to her! I am already saving up for my plane ticket to go visit her. Who knows ... if I like it there, I could always transfer to Sydney. Our three world headquarters are Sydney, Australia, Malmo, Sweden, and Carrollton, Texas (obviously). I'm way excited for her, even though it's a little depressing that she'll be on the other side of the world by the end of January. So our party on December 11th in College Station that you're all clearing your calendars for will now be a Thanksgiving/Graduation/Bon Voyage. Huzzah!

And finally, I've been inundated with the word 'insurgent' since this whole Fallujah thing, in conjunction with my NPR habit, started. I finally decided to look it up and find out what it actually means.
in·sur·gent (n-sûrjnt) adj. --
1. Rising in revolt against established authority, especially a government.
2. Rebelling against the leadership of a political party.

Turns out, I'm an insurgent.

I have about a thousand things I want to talk about, we'll see how many of them stick in my memory by the time I really get into blogging mode. First off, I spent the weekend chillin in the OC ... the OKC, that is. I actually had a good time. On Saturday and Sunday, my impregnito sister and I painted her nursery. Pink on the walls, green on the ceiling. It was so, so cute. Now I'm rarin' to paint my apartment. Who wants to help? Prior to this, on Friday night, we went bowling.

I was bowling in Oklahoma on a Friday night.

It ended up being really fun though. My sister's husband made the comment, "There's no way I'm going to lose to my pregnant wife and a gay guy." So I annihilated him. He didn't know that I spent the better part of high school bowling obsessively, and then transferred that hobby to college with Kevin. By the end of the night, he had admitted defeat and encouraged me to join a gay bowling league, because I would be "the man" there. I'm not sure what the difference is between a gay bowling league and a bowling league. I guess we would use pink balls?

Speaking of Kevin, he's not going to be able to join me in College Station this weekend. What a fucking bummer. I was so stoked. I mean, I still am because I get to see Burns take longer than 65 seconds to chug a pitcher of beer and get shitcanned with the whole crew, but still... everyone knew I was just going to see Kevin. I'm actually going to drive down on Saturday morning, and give Allison a ride back.

Speaking of Allison, we are planning a Thanksgiving to end all Thanksgivings. The date we decided on is December 11th. The location: Allison's house in College Station. I am planning a detailed blog about it, but had too much to say to devote this entry to that. Look for details in the future, but for g*d's sake clear your fucking calendars. This is going to the put the last one to shame!

And finally, my new hobby is listening to NPR (National Public Radio). I feel like I'm already smarter for doing this. Many thanks to my brother who originally suggested it to me when I told him how annoyed I was with radio DJs and commercials. Today they were talking about Arnold Schwarzenegger possibly running for president. Of course, he's not a natural born citizen, so the constitution would have to be amended. We all know Bush has no problem amending it. They made a good argument that someone who has been in the country for 20+ years, obtained citizenship, understands the political system, and has obtained public office should be allowed to run for president. And Arnold was talking about how everything is more global these days so it makes sense. And I agree. Hell, at least he speaks two languages ... Bush doesn't even speak one.

Even though Arnie is a Republickin, he is not conservative on issues that educated people aren't conservative on -- stem cell research, gay marriage, abortion, to name a few. Conservative X-tian Republickins would fuckin hate him. But maybe there's enough political momentum behind the Republickins to get him in the White House. To me, this would present a win/win situation in 4 years. Either someone that agrees with me on issues I find important would be elected, or the Democratic party would win, and maybe even put Hillary in the White House, which would rawk. People who argue against this amendment say that the Constitution shouldn't be viewed as a totally maleable document, and certainly should never be amended with a certain individual in mind. One guy said go ahead and make the amendment but say that it doesn't take effect for 20 years. He makes a good point. Just thought I'd give my readers something to discuss at their next cocktail party.

Items of interest, just to recap: OKC was fun, I kick ass at bowling, I need help painting my apartment, College Station this Saturday, Thanksgiving December 11, listen to NPR and tell me what you think about the President-inator (lame). Peace out, sluts!

Way to go, "Amer-ca," you really did it this time. My first go at American democracy has been met with sweeping defeat ... Bush was elected for the first time to serve his second term, and the Republickins have increased their influence in both the House and the Senate. So far, in the first two days of Bushito's second term, nothing of note has changed. Maybe it's because Jorge is on vacation at Camp David (big shocker there). I think if this trend of nothing changing or happening continues, that would be the best case scenario for the next four years. Any changes that Bush makes -- fiscal, political, legal, constitutional, moral, environmental, global, you-name-it-al, will certainly be a major step backward that will take time in the future to correct.

I think it's shrewd of him to reach out to Kerry supporters and call for a newfound unity in the country. Just about as shrewd as it was to couple votes on banning gay marriage to call out the evangelical voters in important state. Oh, that reminds me... to those voters who elected to ban gay marriage in those 11 states: Fuck you too!

Okay, after this picture, I'm done making commentary. I had an away message today that said something to the effect of, "What do you think? Canada or Australia?" It was by far the most responded to away message I've ever had. Looks like a lot of us are joining the hypothetical exodus. Keith gave the best arguments for Australia including cold Canadian weathers, fat Canadians, hot Australians, tanning, and American booze and cigarettes. True, we can get American booze and cigarettes in America, but we can also get them in Australia. I'm convinced! Edward sent me a link to this picture. I went ahead and linked back to the website where I stole it from just to be nice. Not that all of you wouldn't immediately recognize that I didn't make it since jebus is capitalized.

Tomorrow I'm going to the most worthless state in the union: Oklahoma! My sister is all impregnito and wants me to visit her. I've been promising for a long time that I would so I finally have to make good on it. I have to take my mom's car too so I can pick up a treadmill for my parents. I really don't like driving any car other than my own, especially on road trips, so I resisted the idea. My mom said, "Why? Because you can't smoke in my car?" and my response was, "Fuck, I didn't even think of that. Fuck." It should be a fun time though, my sister is pretty cool. Then next weekend its off to College Station to see Burns and Lauren dunk their rings. Plus, Kevin will be there! Yay! Later sluts, now go sit in the corner and think about what you've done ... for the next four years.

I fucking love Halloween. This year was another holiday in the win column. Ryan S■■■ and I spent the day together, and despite original plans to not dress up, we decided to get something last minute. We had lunch and coffee at Buli, this kickass place down in the gayborhood where they serve your food in a vintage lunch box and employ hotties to serve it to you. While down there we started brainstorming costume ideas. I can't think of any of our failed ideas, but we finally settled on just wearing some sort of sports uniform. For us, that's really a costume and not a cop out since neither of us have played a sport in a decade.

We narrowed our decision to Slutty Soccer Players and found some bright pink soccer jerseys and iron on letters. Since every party we were going to was full of queers, it was no problem that our team name was Flamers, I was number 69, and he was number 8.5. Let me just tell you, we looked really authentic. We even had a small soccer ball and ran a few drills in the bar. There was much drinking to be done, so around 9 when Myke from San Marcos (who now lives in Lewisville) and his friend Ryan from Tech showed up we hit the first party. They were both dressed as Slutty Jungle Boys. Too much fun. And I mean too much fun.

I've spent the entire day in bed and it has been absolutely fabulous. I just woke up from an accidental nap and I'm feelin fantastic.

I have a favor to ask you all. I have been getting repeated phone calls from someone in the Los Angeles area. They called all the time despite that I never answered. It was annoying when they never left a message, so I finally decided to answer. It's always some different person who only speaks Spanish, and they are frantically looking for Maria. I've explained repeatedly that Maria esta no aqui, but they can't get that fucking idea through their head. So in retaliation, I've decided to release their phone number to the public.

I think it would be funny if all of my girl Sidesho-viewers (like biological girls) called this number and pretended to be the long, lost Maria -- especially if you speak Spanish. Guys can call too, and ask for David over and over again or something. Leave me a comment letting me know how it goes. 'Preciate it.

Holy crap. I had no idea this was going to take so long to prepare. I sure do hope you all find this as humorous as I did when I was making it. The beard is gone. It was a fun little experiment, but one that I don't expect to repeat any time soon. Of course, when you shave a beard off, you can't just shave it. You've gotta style it. Pictured below is a beautiful array of facial hair stylings. Go ahead, rate them on a scale of 1 to Pure Sex.

I got my hair cut tonight by my friend Chad. It is a lot shorter than it is in all of these pics. I would take a picture of it, but after sizing and photoshopping all of these silly pictures I just wasn't in the mood. Besides, that's more incentive for you all to come see me in person anyway. I also owe you some pictures of the apartment, but you might have to wait until I paint before I'm comfortable letting you all see where the magic happens.

This weekend is Halloween, and I'm not dressing up. I just don't have a costume. I might find something last minute. One of the best things you can do for a Halloween costume is take any ordinary noun and add the word 'slutty' in front of it. For instance, you can be a slutty fireman, a slutty cat, or be like Allison and go as a slutty Jolly Green Giant. Ho, ho, ho. Who would have thought we could use that tag line two years in a row? But if you want to know the truth, I'm just planning on going downtown, doing a little people watching and a whole lot of drinking. I was out last night when I got a late night call from my mother. Concerned that she would call me late at night, I snuck outside to a quiet nook to answer. No worries. She was just calling to let me know that my dad bought a banjo! What the fuck?! My parents must really be missing me.

And finally, because I know you all want it bad ... sexy 'stache pics! Woohoo! (My brother is probably the only one that can possibly confirm this, but don't you think I look like Uncle Al?)

Holy fuck am I ever hungover. Last night was so awesome. So I video taped this wedding, right. My former daycare boss, Mary Ann, had asked me if I would. Her nephew Randy was getting married and they didn't want to spend the money on a real videographer, so they got the next best thing -- me! It actually ended up being really fun. I know both of Mary Ann's daughters pretty well so I kind of hung around them. But I was surprised how many people I knew, seeing as how it wasn't my family or anything. But Randy was marrying Heather, who is Dawn's sister and Dawn used to teach at the daycare.

There were three kids there that went to the daycare I worked at. I used to teach them swimming lessons, show them how to color outside the lines and play John Denver songs for them on the guitar. I hadn't seen any of them since they were 5 years old and they're all 10 or 11 now kickin ass in the 5th grade. Although in reality, only the brother of the groom, Chance, is even remotely cool. It took him a while to remember who I was, but he figured it out. He was dreadfully bored at the reception since he had decided not to drink so I was trying to help him out with things to do. First, I made him drink 10 glasses of water as fast as he could and build a pyramid with the empty glasses. Once he had accomplished that, I told him to get the disposable camera off of every table and waste the remaining pictures on people he didn't know. And finally, when I had to leave, I put him in charge of the video camera. Gosh, Mr. David is the coolest.

I ended up leaving the reception and meeting PlanoJay, the bartender, at BJ's Brewhouse. Had a red beer. Yum. Went across the street to meet up with his co-worker, Chad. Yum. I ordered like 3 pitchers on my tab, but I never paid. Go figure. Keith met me out there and I drunkenly introduced him to some hoes I'd been entertaining for a while. The drive home was interesting. It was literally two blocks, so no harm was done, but had it been any farther, it could have been trouble. The really interesting part was when I got back to my apartment, the streets were all but blocked with fire trucks. Hmmm. So I maneuvered around them and parked in the garage across the street from my building. Now, bear with me because this memory is hazy, but walking into my building I remember walking through smoke. And combined with the multiple fire engines this would have alarmed some people, but not me. I blissfully waited for the elevator amongst the clouds of smoke, went upstairs and went to sleep. I really hope the building didn't burn down, but I'm still alive so things are boding well.

I woke up this morning to find my away message saying, "This night was awesome... g'night" which are my sentiments exactly. Well, wait, I wrote them, so yeah. Today I'm going to Kaylyn's baptism. Pray for me that I don't look completely hungover. Peace!

Big news, kids. I am officially an independently functioning member of society. This little bird has flexed his wings and gone out on his own. Granted, everything in my apartment was donated by my parents, but we'll ignore that fact from here on out. I will show you pictures of my apartment as soon as it is in a presentable condition. I moved in on Sunday instead of Saturday because it was raining too hard. Not to say it didn't rain all day Sunday, but we got it done. There's still a few things back in Plano that I need to go get, but there's no rush there.

In other news, I haven't had a haircut in many, many months, nor have I shaved in many, many weeks. Yes, I have a beard ... and this time, her name isn't Allison. Pa-zzzing! I'm not really sure how I feel about the look, but I'm going with it. I had originally dedicated myself to no haircuts before 2005, but that may have changed. Marc and I went over to his friend Chad's apartment last night. Chad and his friendgirl work at Toni and Guy and were watching videos about how to give fucking badass haircuts. I can maybe get a really badass free haircut. That's what I'm planning on doing. I mean like woah, badass haircut.

On the horizon is lots of tidying up around the apartment. I might have a housewarming get together sometime in late November. Nobody from College Station will attend, so none of you are invited. Unless you want to come, then you are. Something more anecdotal to follow. Peace out.

I certainly couldn't go a week without blogging. I haven't done that in ages. Time's a little tight right now because it's midnight and I'm gonna be a wreck at work tomorrow. Big news! I worked 8 hours today. Like actually produced real programming that will be used in a real project for 8 hours. And I'm gonna do it again tomorrow. Things are looking up. So the job, while I still go on the public records as hating it, is looking up. My hair gets longer every day, it's quite shaggy. And I've decided to stop shaving yet again. If I ever hit puberty and the facial hair fills in, I'll let you all see it. My workout routine is going well. I am starting to regain my flexibility, and it feels so good to work out after work. I just need to find some goggles so I can start swimming again.

Went to College Station this weekend. It was pretty fun. Ryan H■■■■ drove and we went and watched Daniel dunk his ring (120 seconds). We "stayed" at Todd's even though I neglected to sleep there either night. We went to Margarita Rocks with Allison, Lindsay, her underage sisters, AllieD, Jennifer, and another pretty girl whose name escapes me. Then we went to a little keg get-together out in the country and Tommy showed up. I shocked Fucking Frank with my lighter. Everyone finally realized why I think it's so funny. From there we hit Northgate. Ran into Roper Joe, that was a blast from the past. Saw Brian and Justin. Owen walked over from campus and Keith was a horrible influence on me. Owen and I got split from the group and decided to take CARPOOL home but it was taking too fucking long so I woke up Marshall and made him take Owen home and then slept in his bed. I'm trying to drop every name possible. If I forgot you, leave a sassy comment and I'll insert you into the list and pretend like you were always there. It will be hilarious.

The next day I was hungover like the entire day. It sucked, but was pretty expected. Lunch with AllieD, back to sleep on Todd's couch the rest of the day. I woke up at 1:30am and had Dustin come pick me up and drank over at his place with Raul. Spent the night on the ground accidentally. Came home the next day. I breezed over a lot of details, obviously, but I had a really great time. Thanks for driving, Ryan!

Whenever I meet someone new, or get someone's screen name for the first time, I always ammend it with a buddy comment. I'm not sure if anyone else uses these but they're a g*dsend to me. I put people's names, jobs, home towns, physical descriptions ... anything I might want to know, or pretend I've remembered later. You should all be using them. Anyway, sometimes the descriptions of someone I've met for the first time, and later become close friends with, are a tad outdated. They tend to be on the insulting side from time to time, so I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings by posting names, but one of them that I just edited the other day said, "that impudent little imp." If you want to know if you have a buddy comment, hit me up with an IM.

And in final news, HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY TO TOPHER (known affectionately by some as Yale Boy). I meant to call him at midnight, but then I realized that I don't understand time zones, so I'd better just call him when he gets out of class tomorrow. But this is my proof that I've been thinking about him and did not forget. (And no, I didn't use a buddy comment to remember.) I love you, kid, have a wonderful birthday, a kick@ss summer, and stay cool.

I have had so many things to tell you all, but I have, regretably, been far too lazy to put them down in text. I've had a couple grand epiphanies. First, I met my new friend RyanC. He lives in Deep Ellum, an area of town I am completely unfamiliar with. When I told my mother that I was going to Deep Ellum she told me I was going to get shot. But then again, she tells me that about just about everywhere I go so I thought nothing of it. Well, after finally finding RyanC's loft, I parked and we walked to Angry Dog for dinner. On the way, we passed by an agitated truck full of African-American gentlemen angrily throwing their fists in the air and screaming, "Black Power!" I just knew that was a good sign that they would instantly take a liking to me. When they saw RyanC and I, they started yelling, "Fuck the white man. Fuck the facist caucasions. Fuck you, you fucking white devil, you caucasion homosexual facist!" Which, I naturally took offense to, as I am a practicing facist.

But they drove off without incident and we enjoyed a wonderful meal and then drove down to the New Amsterdam Coffeehaus. This is my new favorite bar in all of Dallas. It was all dimly lit with like 40 chandaliers and its all goth inside. I love it. The best part of it is that whatever you order, it comes in a glass specifically designed for that drink, usually provided by the vendor. Proper glassware is so important. RyanC introduced me to what may very well be my new favorite fancy beer -- Moudite. If you ever get a chance to try it, jumponit. My epiphany from this endeavor was that I am wasting my time here in Dallas spending every weekend at JRs, Roundup and TMC. I'm not saying I'll never go there again, but I am going to make a conscious effort to find the good here, so that if someone ever happens to visit me, I can show them the true hot spots.

Last night was Brian's birthday/housewarming party. It was tres chic. Ryan S■■■ and I went shopping during the day and I got a kickass new outfit. But since I wore it to Brian's party, now I need another new outfit for ULDE:IYDKYDG. I looked good though, when, not if, I do say so myself. Brian claimed his party was the social event of the century, naturally making ULDE:IYDKYDG the social event of the millennium. I shouldn't be too sassy about it though, since Brian has graciously offered us all of his alcoholic left overs to reuse at our party. So it looks like there will be some liquor there, folks. My friend Marc and his friend Filipe joined us at the party. Marc is multi-lingual and uses it to his advantage. Whenever he wanted to say something private to Filipe, he spoke in French, when he wanted to tell me something, he used German. And then when he introduced himself to Chris Jones, he used English, which floored Chris. He was unimpressed with foreign languages, but blown away that he could also speak our native tongue. It was funny.

After the party everyone went over the Minc. But I got a text message from RyanC saying that he was at New Amsterdam CoffeeHaus again, which is like 3 doors down from Minc, so I went there instead. Good times, good times. Had a couple beers there to supplement my already healthy BAC. Ryan S■■■ drove home, naturally.

I had to go to my physical assessment today. Oh yes, kids, I joined a gym finally. I think Burns summed up what I expect to be the general reaction when he responded to my workout away message.

BURNSofive: what are you doing there? is it happy hour?

That should save you all from having to make your sassy comments. At the gym they measured my weight, my body fat, my arm strength, my endurance, and all this shit. It was kinda cool. The computer says that I have the body of a 21 year old and gave me suggestions on how to get down to the body of an 18 year old. Of course, if I knew a surefire way to get to the body of an 18 year old, I wouldn't be here typing this for all of you. Zzzzzing! But I cannot tell you how good it felt to work out again. I think this is really going to make my life better. Even though I was sweating Moudite the entire time, I walked out there thinking to myself, "Damn, I am a healthnut," as I lit my cigarette.

One final note, I seem to have just contracted a computer virus that is putting up away messages for me, so don't click any links on my away messages. Thanks and gig this!

I have to start with a few quick shoutouts as a part of the weekend wrap up. When you don't blog as often, things that were once really great blog fodder turn into stories on the way side. But I do want to mention that Friday night I went to Shuck and Jive with Maryann (my former daycare boss) and her daughter Ashley and then Keith met us up there. And then Saturday night I went to a party in Arlington at DAvid's house with Ryan H■■■■. Great times, great times.

But now there's more pressing news. I bought two new CDs yesterday and I have to tell you about them. I got The Calling's new CD (my favorite band) and while I was shopping around I saw and grabbed Ben Jelen's CD. Now, The Calling is just awesome. Their new CD is just as good if not better than their last, and that is a pretty huge compliment coming from me since I listened to their last CD on repeat for like years in a row.

But, the story is Ben Jelen. I liked his song "Come On" so I bought the CD. Cause if you know me well then you know that I've never burned a CD in my life. I'm a big advocate of supporting my favorite artists since music is a massive part of my life. Let me think how to phrase this.

Precious few of you have ever heard the full story of how important John Denver is to me ... or why. Long story short, the first time I ever heard Rocky Mountain High, I was in a particularly difficult period of my life around age 13, and the second I heard that song I had direction. I knew I wouldn't be happy until I could play guitar like that and sing like that. And that has been one of the most defining experiences of my life.

From the second I put on the Ben Jelen CD, I knew that he was something special. Let me put it this way. On a scale from one to John Denver, he ranks an 8. Most people don't even make it on the scale. Every song on this CD is so good that I don't ever want it to end. It's absolutely fucking amazing. Like beyond amazing. Go buy it now. I don't care if you don't get to eat for a month, buy this fucking CD. G*d, it's so good. Of course, he's also beautiful. And then there's the nostalgia factor ... if it wasn't for Ben Jelen I never would have met 27. The first time I met him at a party, I was talking to him because I thought looked like Ben Jelen. But even all of that aside, this whole album is fucking incredible. I cannot stress this enough.

The reason the title of this blog is "Mondays at Studio Movie Grill" is because my old friend Jay, better known to some as PlanoJay, is the bartender there on Monday nights. And he told me that any time I come in I can have whatever I want for free. So you know I'm there every Monday. I got kind of drunk tonight. And when I got home I wasn't hungry and I'd accidentally smoked like 5 cigarettes on the way home. So my mom was pissed that I got home way late, didn't want the food she'd saved for me, and smelled like an ashtray, but I think she'll get over it.

So ... go buy The Calling and Ben Jelen and then report back to me. TRUST ME, you won't be sorry on either account.

I hate working. I mean, while I'm there, it's not so bad. Sometimes the hours absolutely drag by and sometimes I'm done before I realized it was getting close to quittin' time. I have another piece of flair the Nazi's make me wear. This one's a cell phone. My whole life I have hated cell phones clipped to belts more than I hate Jessica Simpson (and her little sister now too). But, in keeping with the theme of turning myself into all the things I've always despised, I wear it obligingly. It's way too big to keep in my pocket because its one of those Nextel walkie-talkie things -- which I also hate.

Some other things that suck, and then we'll move on to more fun topics. We're getting this etiquette class three times this week and basically all they needed to do was hand out a piece of paper saying, "David you don't belong here." They presented themselves as this ultra-hip, young cultured company, but now they're impressing on us the need to look like mission control engineers from the 1960's. Fuck that. I'm not taking out my earrings. That's ridiculous. All I do all day is sit in a cubicle. And they keep saying things like, "If you're not married yet, when you do get married you'll want to eat with proper etiquette. And guys especially when you take a girl out." I know that's petty, but they make comments like these all day long constantly ... everyone does. It would be nice to not feel alienated for like five minutes.

So the fun topics I promised: This weekend, my first weekend in Dallas, could not have been better. Ryan S■■■ was having a party Saturday night, and I was on the ol' invite list. I went over to his house early so I could get ready to go out without the criticism of the matriarch. I helped him put lids on the obscene amount of jello shots and then people started showing up. JonS■■■ from College Station just happened to be in town and called me to see if I was doing anything, so I invited him to join me. I was grateful for him being there since I only knew a few cats and it was a little intimidating. There were like 70 queers sardined into Ryan S■■■'s apartment. It was great. But it did get a little stuffy and hot (I should take a look at his HVAC system) so we moved the party to the bars. Starting off at JR's, JonS■■■ and I proceed to drink Pink Cape Cods like they were goin out of style. Then we stumbled over to the Village with a couple strangers and danced and drank some more. Neither of us remember the rest of the night clearly but I think it ended with us buying a shot and not having enough money, so we left.

Not much else of note happened, but hazy stumblings and drunken ramblings with people we did not know. We made it back to Ryan's where he and his brother were waiting for us to take them to ... where else? ... Whataburger! Fantastic. I spent the night at Ryan's cause I'm a lush and my mother didn't want me to drive home if I'd been drinking. I was happy to oblige. The next day we woke up and went to visit Ryan S■■■'s friend, Greg, who lives in Addison Circle, where Ryan thought I might like to live. He was RIGHT! I fell in love. That's totally where I'm moving when I can afford it, which should be shortly. My first paycheck comes tomorrow -- can't fuckin wait. After we ate lunch and toured Greg's apartment we went and met up with Brent to go to a movie. So Ryan, Greg, Brent and I all rode to Stonebriar and met up with Chris Jones to see Stepford Wives, which I did not want to see, but I did want to meet new friends so I went. IT SUCKED. Real bad. Don't see it. Anyway, I just wanted to graciously thank Ryan, Greg, Brent and Chris for such a great time.

So that is what has been going on. Once I move out of my parent's house and get my own dedicated internet connection, I'll probably be more prone to get back into the updating swing of things, but as it is, I have precious little time to plug in and I don't always want to spend it narrating the past. But do keep checking back and emailing me and stuff, all the contact with my former life is a good thing. Peace out, have nots.

Free at last. Free at last. Thank g*d almighty, free at last.

I guess thats the last time I'll get to utter those words in response to the end of a semester. That's right kids, you heard me right. I am DONE with college. I just wrapped up my final doc for my final project. I need to go to Copy Corner when they open at 7am and have it printed and then turn it in and that's that. It's an odd feeling. Graduation is on Friday at 9am at Reed Arena, if anybody feels like coming.

I was pretty stoked about my plan to just be a bum and try to figure out what the hell I was going to do with my future. Then as luck would have it, I received this email from ■■■■■ (that company I interviewed with):

Dear David,

Good afternoon! As a follow up to the phone message I left today, I am writing to let you know that we are very interested in moving forward in our hiring for the project engineer position, and you are a top candidate we are strongly considering. Please let me know as soon as possible what your employment status is and if you are still available to be considered by ■■■. Thank you!

I told them I was still interested. We'll see what comes of that. They haven't made an offer or anything yet. Sigh, I am so tired but unable to go to bed just yet. I can't wait to be done so I can sleep all day. I slept all day yesterday but it didn't help much. By the time I went to bed I had been awake and working for roughly 80 hours. I took one final, gave a presentation, finished a project (well, Owen did), wrote 5 papers, and finished a takehome final in that time. Our presentation went wonderfully. Its looking like I'm really graduating.

Pretty soon I'll be leaving College Station. Seems like it will be for good. It's odd. For five years all I've wanted to do is leave. And now that I'm leaving, I'm not sure I'm ready. But I'll tell you what I am ready for. Tomorrow Allison and I are going to the Association of Former Students party to get stickers for our cars, and then we're getting all snazzy and having dinner at Mesina Hof. That was one of our other goals before we left ... eating at Christophers and Mesina Hof. It's going to be so good. I love rawkin' the Hof. Then its drinky drinky time. I hope I'm not too tired.

Can't think of what else I had to say, but I wanted to let you all know whats been going on. My whole family will be in town on Thursday, Friday and Saturday, but I'm hoping to sneak away for some just-graduated-college style partying, so hit me up if you want to join (and buy the first round whooaahh). Later you have-nots!

It's been a while since I've addressed you, dear plebians. Rest assured I have missed you all. Like I said in my last post, Brandon came to town. I missed that kid. We hung out and watched TV even though he despises TV. We got drunk, we went out, good times, good times. He had to leave earlier than expected to go to a job interview at Central Market so hopefully he'll get that job.

That same night I watched Keith dunk his ring. He did it in 22 seconds. What a champ. And I thought I was a seasoned alcoholic, here this rookie showed me up by 43 seconds. Excelsior! We went to Northgate afterwards and Joseph met up with us. Keith ended up going home early so Joseph and I split off and sat and chatted over chuggers at Duddleys. Then we went to Antonio's, that new pizza place on Northgate. This guy wanted to cut in line for the bathroom because he had to go, and if he went before us, he would surely get laid by some girl who was waiting on him. So, being the kind hearted gentlemen we are, we told him he could cut in front of us if he could impress us through dance. Bless his little liver, he started cuttin' the rug in order to pee before us. Naturally I was saying things like, "No man, if you want to cut you've got to TURN IT ON!" and instead of doing anything different he just did the same moves faster. Classic.

We caught a serendiptious ride home from Christina Lee. Joseph proceeded to chug squeezy vodka screwdrivers like they were going out of style. He got so drunk that he threw up whilst sleeping on my couch giving me a delightful bright yellow stain and filling my apartment with the aroma of vomit and bile. He also opened the front door wide, for some unexplained reason, and let in 10,000 flies that we cannot get rid of. Thanks Joey, 'preciate that.

The next night it was time to see Todd dunk his ring, but I got tied up at the greenhouse in Navasota and couldn't make it. He did it in 75 seconds, which thrilled me because that means I was faster. Anywho, I did meet up with them all later because I haven't seen Todd in forever, Ryan and DAvid were in town, and Fucking Frank was going to drink for the first time in years. It was riotously fun. I got so completely shitcanned. When I woke up this morning I was still drunk. I was also a tad confused as to why I wasn't wearing my underwear anymore, but then I remembered that I'd gotten in the hot tub that night. It was so hot in there, it was ridiculous.

I keep telling myself I am going to spend a quiet weekend at home with a good book (perhaps Glamarama that I haven't touched in weeks) but the ring thing forced me to go out this weekend. Damn social obligations. Perhaps next I will take myself up on my delightful offer. Peace out, have nots!

Sonia was writing an article for the Battalion today (our school newspaper) over gay marriage, so naturally she wanted my opinion on the issue. I think my initial quote was, "Fuck a bunch of marriage," but since that doesn't exactly translate well to print without the inflections, we worked to reword it a tad. This is what it came out as:

David F■■■■, a senior electrical engineering technology major, said he believes same-sex marriages should be legalized. He believes the constitution grants the right, and also doesn't believe that marriage is sacred anymore.

"If marriage (between a man and a woman) is so sacred then explain the high divorce rates," F■■■■ said.

I'm in print! Now all that's left to do is get my picture on the front. With friends like Sonia, I think I can see that happening. She's an absolute doll and I love her. RAWK!

So I decided tonight that my skunk stripe isn't what it used to be. The roots had started growing in and the blonde was severely faded, giving my hair almost a natural look ... which you all know I hate. So I decided to get my stylist, Ryan, back over here to bleach out my skunk stripe again. Only this time I decided I wanted it fucking WHITE. To achieve this, I left the bleach in my hair for a solid 45 minutes. And this is the Frost 'n Glow of yesteryears for dark brown hair.

Well there it is. I achieved my goal of getting it white, however, I'm afraid that it might be falling out. My friend David (WHO IS SOMEONE OTHER THAN ME, YOU HALF WITS!) is over here monitoring the drying process and keeps telling me that its falling out. Then he tells me that its fine. Then he says its falling out. I'm freaking out.

If it holds together, it will look really cool. If it all falls out I'm going to have to shave my head. This could be catastrophic to the fox hawk. I will certainly keep you all posted. Pray for me (in Keith's case, that will be to Joe Pesci ... but whoever you pray to works). Thanks, you have-nots, catch you on the flip side.

This is a post I've been meaning to put up for a while. I've just been waiting for a day when I didn't have anything to really say. This is the blog blog, if you will. And I will. Those of you who know me know that I spend a ridiculous amount of my life on my website, but I spend just as much, if not more, time reading other peoples' blogs. I wanted you all to appreciate just how insane I am with this. I read all of these blogs ... on a more than daily basis. Here they are now, in the order that I check them every day. And the nominees are...

• Sounding Board: Chris
• Breakfast Parade: G■■■■ et. al.
• This is my blog. But you can read it.: Alfie
• noezoom's Xanga Site: Owen
• Ryan S■■■'s Diary: Ryan S■■■
• Rock N Roll Suicide: Keith
• Welcome Spielmaniacs!: Spielman
• Welcome to Spain: Clay
• Really, it's not that interesting.: Justin M■■■
• www.Burns.tk -- Redux: Burns
• ifiam.org : do you love me?: Posterboy
• toothpaste for dinner - daily drew drawings: Drew
• natalie dee: huffing it up, every weekday: Drew's sister
• ChevyRSK: Chevy
• me: Sonia
• Day in the life of Jon S■■■: Jon S■■■
• David T■■■■'s Page of Misery: David T■■■■
• clr84's Xanga Site: Chris R.
• I like my eggs all runny...: Surge
• bryceareeni's livejournal: Bryce

So, as you can see, I'm not fuckin around. If everybody just had a blog, we could completely eliminate the need for interpersonal communication. Think about it. We'd all still carry cell phones though, so when we saw someone we knew, we could pull up their webpage and read it while they stood there silently. Sigh ... in a perfect world. If you're not on this list, that means I haven't been reading your site and I need a link. Later, you have-nots.

Pertinent information for everyone to know? Let's see. I backed into my neighbor in the parking lot. Or we backed into each other, rather. Her name is Erin. She was a delightful girl with a scratched up, cracked bumper. I bought the Nelly Fruit-ado CD because I want to be like Marshall. I saw Flock of Seagulls reunite. They weren't as good as they used to be and their hair is nowhere near its former radness. I almost went out like that the other night. Ryan S■■■ gets to meet Cameron F■■■ in 4 weeks and I am jealous. Tommy and I started working out, my chest and triceps are very sore. And I haven't smoked in three days. I lost my job at the space center, damn politics. But I already scored a new profession in the web design business once I learn how to do what these rich old men want. My new songs of the day all fucking rawk. I talked to Steve-o last night for the first time in months. He works at Central Market in Austin and has a mohawk. My professor sent out an email to have an impromptu class period today. Is he allowed to do that? I'm already tired of school even though I've only been to about 1.5 total hours of class. I can't stay awake for more than 30 minutes. My wonderful yoga teacher from last semester forced me back into her class. She is lovely. Peace, I'm outta here.

School starts tomorrow afternoon. I have one class and a lab, and I guess I'm gonna go back to work. I dunno, I sure do hate work, but I am so fucking broke its not even funny. Let me see if I can even remember all of the shit that has gone down in the past few days. First off, my cell phone has been working for a while now. I stole a charger from Aaron's apartment while he was out of town. I think it may have been mine though, but either way, I'm back in business and hating it as usual. I know I've said this far too many times before, but based on the conversations I've had in the past few days, I'm just going to briefly reiterate ... I fucking hate talking on the phone. It makes me want to cut my eyes out with a spoon. Because its dull, you twit, it'll hurt more! So if you're just calling to see 'whassup' then don't. And if you're calling for a reason, keep it short and to the point. I would really, really appreciate it.

So anyway, back to the narration. Thursday and Friday, we went out to Halo as usual. Despite my announcement that I was completely partied out and most definitely not going to drink, I got shitcanned both nights. There was much vodka consumed, and much dancing. Nothing severely out of the ordinary. Saturday, I had promised Tommy weeks ago that I would go to Houston with him. I don't usually leave town, and if I do, I need like some serious emotional preparation in order to do so. I mean, despite the fact that my wallet is almost rotted in two, I still haven't gotten a new one because I'm not emotionally ready to commit to a new wallet. Thats the kind of person I am. Very much about the rut, and any deviation from said rut is stressful. But Tommy gave me ample time to prepare so to Houston we went. It was quite traumatic, I'm not gonna lie. We went to South Beach with Todd and I managed to have fun once I got a few drinks in me. They spray liquid nitrogen onto the dance floor in this huge cloud so thick you can't see two inches in front of your face and its really cold. And when you're hot from dancing it feels so good.

We finally got home around 4am. I slept the whole next day, never even made it home. By the time I woke up, Tommy had come home from work and was ready to go get something to eat. And then Aaron called me and said everyone was staying at his cousin's house in Houston and going to South Beach again. So despite the fact that by this point my body was REALLY beggin for rest, I agreed. So Tommy and I turned back around and got back on the road for Houston this time with Allison in tow. It was a blast again, especially because everyone from College Station was in attendance. Much fun, much alcohol, much dancing. Aaron's cousin lives in a mansion. It was too much fun. I didn't go to sleep until like 6am. I spent the day today cleaning up a little around the apartment and doing some laundry. Its time to stop having fun, go to school and work every day, and then graduate and the fun is REALLY over. Sigh. Good night, fuckers, hope everyone has a good first day. Leave me a comment letting me know how it went.

Well I hope everyone had a wonderful Solstice. I know I did. Now that my holiday season has come to a close, I would like to wish everyone celebrating Kwanzaa this year a wonderful time, as well as all my Jews in da house hittin up Channukah. I can't think of any other celebrations during the holidays, so if I forgot one, it must not count!

I am laying in bed right now. I woke up kinda early in comparison to recent days because I kept having horrible dreams. I had one that I don't remember, but I know I woke myself up by screaming. Then I had one where the Texas A&M Diving team was recruiting me, but they were gonna make me do a fancy dive off the top platform, and for some reason I agreed. Then I had one that I was lost in a school and every room I went into was more fucked up then the next. So I figured fuck it, I'll just stay awake.

As soon as I get off my ass, I am going to get in the car and drive back to Plano. I'll be there for a few days, and then back in CS for a couple days, and then its off to Galveston to get on the boat. Weeee.

I have some wonderful news for all of you. I am so excited I can barely sit still. I was watching the Food Network last night and there was a promo for a new show called Dweezil & Lisa. As if I had to clarify which Dweezil & Lisa they were referring to, its Dweezil Zappa and Lisa Loeb. They've been dating for some time now, and now they're going to host their own show on FoodTV! Holy crap! In case some of you don't know, I have been Lisa Loeb's biggest fan since like the 7th grade. There hasn't been this big of a merger of my interests since I found out John Denver played with the Muppets. It starts in January and you better believe I'll be watching every episode. Its a Solstice miracle. I love you all and I see you soon!

Last night I was sitting on the couch, as usual, watching FoodTV, as usual, and chatting with a few friends, as usual. My computer blue screened out of nowhere and started dumping physical memory, as it has done a few times in the past. No big deal. I stood on my head while I waited for it to reboot. When I could stand it no longer I came out of the headstand and checked on my computer. It was taking an exorbitant amount of time to scan files or something. No bother, I went and did a modified Scorpion against the wall. When I came back again, it was telling me that Windows no longer works. I couldn't get it to boot up in any way, shape or form last night. Luckily I still have my PC so I don't have to unplug, but it is going to be a colossal head ache to get that fixed, especially because I have no clue what the problem might be.

I'm making meager, albeit real, progress on some of my goals. Today for lunch, I had a salad. And I haven't had a drink or smoke yet. I got one lab completed and made progress on two final projects. The promiscuous behavior and heroin addiction will have to wait until the Solstice Break.

Don't you hate it when you spray cologne on and you mistakenly inhale and bring the vapor deep into your mouth? I have a new hobby to go along with blogging. When something happens that I want to blog about, but I've already blogged for that day or I'm not in the mood, I jot a reminder down on a text file on my laptop (which is now kaput). Anyway, I had a note that said 'cologne in mouth.' I thought of this because it happened to me the other day, and I realized that cologne, much like vanilla extract, tastes nothing like it smells. Not that there are many colognes that I especially want to eat (welll...). Anyway, this was brought back to my attention when Marshall and I pulled up to the club and he sprayed on some cologne in the car and then started bitching about it getting in his mouth. I figured it must be an epidemic and I should address the issue the next chance I got. I dunno, just an observation. I got nothing left.

Today, I was riding the bus home from my morning class. This guy sitting across from me had left his uncapped bottle of milk sitting on the seat next to him. When we took a sharp left, the milk fell off of the seat and onto the floor where the contents exuded. There was a rather large puddle of white milk on the dark grey floor of the bus. And then we started turning, and long horizontal lines were painted. We stopped short, and then accelerated creating a grid. The more we traversed the route home, the more complex the milk painting got. By the time I got off the bus, I thought it was rather beautiful.

I wanted to find you all some kind of painting online that looked like the serendipitious modern art I was treated to, but instead I ended up looking at the Museum of Modern Art webpage for like an hour. You have got to see this exhibit called Tempo. I was very inspired. I especially liked the augmenter hammers and the chick laying on oranges. "Hold your breath and think of Spinoza." Wonderful. I think its about time for me to make a hair nest and start doing speed. (Name that allusion.)

I'm sorry you all couldn't have seen it. Maybe I'll make a painting. Probably not. I'm going to go have coffee with Topher.

Last night I was starving and we didn't have much to eat around the house. I checked on my apples in the crisper and one was all brown and mushy, but the other appeared to be edible. (SiDENote: I was just going to make a clever comment about how the word 'edible' should be spelled 'eatable' but dictionary.com says they are synonyms. Somebody thought of it first.)

Anyway, I'd been watching the Food Network all day celebrating their 'Let's Talk Turkey' programming, and everyone was doing fun stuff with apples. 'How do you like that massage, Mr. Turkey?' So I decided I wanted to do something fun with my apple and set about to frying it. First, I cut it up into thin slices, and then sprinkled it with generous portions of sugar. Then I melted about a quarter of a stick of butter and heated it up. Now, I have always enjoyed the smell of melted butter, especially when it first starts to brown. It makes my mouth positively water. But I'm starting to learn that it's rather nauseating to other people. Keith used to complain every time I cooked (since nothing I cook involves less than a stick of butter) and last night Owen was in his room with his T-shirt over his face to avoid the smell. Go figure.

Anyway, once it was really hot, I put my apple in and fried the hell out of it. I tasted it to see if it was good and it was a little bit too buttery, so I thought that if I just had a crust to soak in some butter it would be alright. In a last minute alteration to the recipe, I crumbled up some Saltines and poured the apple concoction on top. It was so delicious, I don't mind telling you. It tasted just like apple pie.

Not to be out-done, Owen went to the grocery store later that night and returned with a huge smirk on his face. He'd bought an assortment of strawberries, bananas, apples and pita bread, and said he was going to make us a dessert. I didn't know about his 'secret' ingredient though, and when I got my fruit pita, it had a white substance on it.

It turned out his secret ingredient was cream cheese. But I think traditionally if you're going to combine cream cheese with fruit you mix in like 2 cups of confectionery sugar first. He didn't do this so it ended up being really nasty. We ate the fruit and shoved our pitas down the garbage disposal. So now we each have our own special recipes for desserts that will really make you hurl! And since nobody seems to post comments much these days, I pose this question: Have you ever invented your own recipe (dessert related or not) that went horribly wrong? Comment amongst yourselves.

I'm still not feeling well, which I am using as my excuse for the sparse updates as of late. In fact, I'm feeling so crappy that I didn't even go out last night. The last time I didn't go out on a Thursday was because I had an exam at 8am on Friday ... which, btw, I just got back today and I made a strong A on it. Boo yah. Going to class is overrated.

I am talking to Jellienuts right now about several things. One of which being his webpage coming back online. That's very exciting for me, and I'm sure you'll all agree once he unveils the new creation. I'll keep you posted. I also must congratulate our dear friend Jellienuts on his graduation from puppet school. Today was his last day of puppet school ever. Congrats! We also had a lengthy conversation concerning the Food Network and a a couple other cable shows. He said judging from my blog he would guess that I don't watch a lot of TV, but I want to assure you all, that I do, indeed, watch many, many hours a day.

Next order of business ... if you're looking to collect on my freelance photography opporitunity you had better hurry. Sean informed me today that he is in possession of a digital picture of the young padawan. He apparently rides the same bus as Sean, and he was sneaky in snapping a picture of him with his picture phone. He still has to find a way to download the picture so he can send it to me, but once he does, that chance for fast cash will be gone, and it'll be down to cape girl. Just food for thought.

Lastly, I went to the third annual Diversity Symposium last night. It was pretty cool, but not as good as last year (see Friday, November 22, 2002). Of course, there were no celebrities from Real World, so it was as good as you can expect. We did get to listen to the new director of diversity at A&M speak. That was cool. Keith met up with me to go to the symposium and had some good points about it. He felt like everyone was really pussy footing around the issues. In an attempt to be sensitive to all people, they kind of missed the problems all together. I dunno, I think its still a step in the right direction. Anything that is the opposite of what the Young Conservatives of Texas would do is A-OK with me. I hate those fucks. </irony>

I woke up yesterday feeling like absolute crap. I haven't felt like a dozen roses in a while, but this time it was especially bad. I tried to take a shower and get dressed, but I had this nagging feeling that I wasn't going anywhere. I took my temperature with the thermometer that Chris bought for me, and it registered a whopping 100.5. My nominal temperature is usually around 96, a little lower than most people, which sucks because Beautal will never acknowledge that I am running a fever. But this time, they couldn't deny it. So I decided I would go in and see if maybe they could tell me accurately this time what I've got.

I had the best doctor I've ever had at the Health Center. He was so cool. He actually looked at me, did a throat culture, spent a little time with me. The last time I went the lady didn't look or touch me, just asked my symptoms and said 'its probably strep here's some penicillin.' Well that didnt' really help. Now the guy said I still have strep, but that I've contracted the flu on top of it. So he prescribed me something for the strep, and something for the flu ... since one is bacterial and the other is viral. Then he told me to alternate between tylenol and advil every 3 hours.

Then we got to talking about drugs. I asked him for some hydrocodone and he laughed and called me a drug addict and then said 'you seriously want some? do you think you need it?' And I was like 'hmmm well its just that my throat hurts so bad.' And he was like 'well if you want it, you can have it, but i think what you really want is some cough syrup with codeine in it ... how have you been sleeping?' to which I replied, 'not well at all.' So he hands me a prescription for phenergin, which I had last April when I was having problems eating and sleeping. He prescribed it to me solely for the side effects. I have so many jars of pills that i want to buy one of those old people pill organizers.

And here just a while ago I was arguing that everyone gets the good prescriptions and I never get jack shit. I know who my new physician is. The only downside is that I have been completely out of it for the past 24 hours. When I do manage to wake up from my drug induced haze, I can barely function beyond laying on the couch. The only reason I am reaching out to now is that I just woke up from sleeping 14 hours last night, so my mind is the slightest bit clear. I'm about to go eat a handful of pills again though, so I'll catch you all the next time I come down.

I have another installment for you all in the "Have you seen this person on campus before" files. Joseph actually suggested this one to me, which was funny because I'd already planned on blogging about this girl previously. But, since I always have my pulse on the heartbeat of my viewers, I upped this blog in the precedence of future blogs. So let us begin to paint the picture...

She's not a particularly beautiful girl, but I wouldn't say wholely unattractive. She is a slightly overweight African American. She doesn't really wear weird clothing, nor does she act in any inappropriate ways, but I bet you've all seen her before.

You would recognize her by the massive cape she wears. I mean a big ass medieval-style cloak. Its huge and appears to be some sort of purple crushed velvet. My favorite part about her is that she wears her backpack underneath the monstrocity, so when she walks by, it appears as though she has a massive ass, and it always makes me giggle.

So, if you have seen this girl on campus, talked to her, run into her, thrown something at her, etc, whatever, just hit me up with a comment and let me know about your experience. If you've seen her eating lunch with the Jedi padawan, you win double secret bonus points.

UPDATE: This was Joseph's idea and I liked it so much I had to post this addendum. If anyone can snap a picture of either cape girl or padawan boy and send it to me I will give you $50. Start up your freelance photography job at SideshoViD.com. With all the picture phones out there, I'm sure this can happen. Say CHEESE!

It finally happened, and just shy of two weeks into the semester. I skipped my first class. We all knew this was going to happen sooner or later, but I'd always assumed it would be on a Friday morning. 8:00's are beat up, as Brandon would put it.

I needed a drink last night so I went out to Northgate with my good buddy Keiff. We used to work at Jiffy Lube together. So I had a couple scotches on the rockses and he had a couple gins and tonics. Miss Allison showed up with her new grad student friends. Me and Keith did not withhold our opinions of these gentlemen but we did politely wait until we were alone to express them. Then we went home around midnight. And believe it or not, Keith was a bad influence on me. He's got me drinking during the week, and then coerced me to smoke a cigarette when we got back to his place. So we're back to hour 9 of being smoke free. Nobody said this would be easy.

So anyway, delightfully liquored up and nerves finally calmed, I came home, chatted for a while, and then feel into a deep sleep I've not felt in days. When the alarm went off at 7am, I just so happened to be enjoying the most wonderful dream imaginable, the details of which I will leave to your imaginations, and I plum decided to turn the fucking alarm off and finish out the dream. It ended with me waking up in a complete stranger's house with an iguana running loose and me deciding to just take a shower and then crawl out the window. So it ended a little strange, but whatever. I needed that. So now I'm off to tackle the day. So long, suckers.

Today is the first go at a photojournalistic approach to my website. When Keith came in town for his 21st birthday I made sure to drag my camera along for the ride. I joined Keith and his friends over at Mad Hatters for starters. I'm not much for casual drinking on a 21st so we quickly adjourned to the only logical bar on Northgate -- Dry Bean. This is where our first pictures are from.

Then Keith wanted to go to the Dixie Chicken. I don't know what the fuck was up with that, but it was his birthday which means he can do whatever the fuck he wants. So we went to the chicken.

The caption on that picture reads "Fuckin A." Anyway, the next exciting thing that happened was running into Christine. I haven't seen her since she moved out of her duplex next to mine. She was in town for some work thing or something. She obliged to pose for this pic.

Isn't she the cutest. These pictures sure to make my blog long without me having to say much. I guess its true what they say -- you can't squeeze blood from a dead horse, but you can make him drink. Last night was a total blast. BJ had a keg so me and the crew dropped by and drank all his beer and then went back to Dustin's for deeelicious margaritas. I ended up spending the night over there. Today I'm totally hungover. But thats what life is all about. I do need to do my laundry, though, since James totally pushed me down in the mud last night when he dropped his wallet and I tried to steal his money. It was a lot of fun. You had to be there. Okay, its time to rejoin society now, catch you all later.

I have finally conquered my eating disorder. After hours and hours of torment, deceit and guilt, I have fnally overcome the demons of anorexia. I was so hungry that I ate 4, count em, 4 pieces of pizza for dinner. It was decadent. Then I just had FreeBirds for lunch. Yum. I want to thank everyone who was so supportive of me during my battle with conflicting self images. You have no idea how many minutes of those hours I wished I could just be normal again. I hope that in some small way my own courage can help change the world. If just one ... million little girls and boys read my story of triumph and find the courage to binge, then I'll be happy.

In other news, my coworker Sara has been feeding me with political enthusiasm today by telling me about her favorite presidential candidate, Howard Dean. She sent me a link to his website and I liked what he had to say. I was already planning on registering to vote and becoming a participating member of 'democracy' since Bush was elected, but now I've actually gotten off my tookus and filled out a registration application. If you want to read about this dude, check out http://www.deanforamerica.com. Later you have nots.

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY KEIFF!

I'm headed back to Plano right now. My brother, Michael, is in town from California, and since I never get to see him I thought I would mosey on over. His wife's little sister is marrying one of his best friends. I don't care for weddings, especially of people who aren't immediate family, so I've forgone the invitation, but I am sure I'll see everyone involved over at mi casa.

A couple of shoutouts before I go. This blogging thing must be contagious. I see friends' blog popping up everywhere ... and not like Keiff's adventures in blogging that lasted two days, I mean real ones. So, if you ever get bored of mine, you should check out [Owen] and [Ryan S■■■].

That's all for now, folks. Have a wonderful weekend and I shall return on Sunday.

This is your first official warning that my 22nd birthday is in exactly one week. That is Sunday, July 6, 2003. I expect you will all be prepared for this joyous occasion. Me and Allison and some other people are going to float the Guadalupe for July 4th, which means I'll be in Austin. So there's a possibility we could stay and party on Sixth Street for my birthday since I've never done that. Kevin is also turning 22 on that day, so there's a chance I will head down to San Antonio to share that with him. Although, he has already made a slew of plans, none of which hint at the fact that I could have possibly wanted to party with him, so I may just say fuck that. The third and most likely option is College Station Burbon Street Bar throwing back far too many raspberry martinis. I will keep you all posted though. Also, Happy 21st to my best roommate ever, Keiffer. It's going to be happening somewhere around here soon!

Never being one to disappoint my most loyal Sidesho-Viewers, I thought I would do my old roomie, Keiffer, a favor and update my page. He told me that since he's been home he has checked my webpage every day in order to feel like a part of him is still in College Station. I was much chagrined at the fact that my best viewer was sitting expectantly day after day and I was only updating once a week. So to Keiffer, I apologize. And to all the ladies of Flower Mound -- this one's single!

Today, Owen and I sealed the deal on our apartment for next semester. Looks like its off to Sundance for yours truly. Its a pretty nice place, especially after the floors, cabinets and fume hood are replaced. They drew the line at crown molding though. Bastards.

I just got a call from the Aussie Allison. She is finally back from her world tour. I might head on up to P-town this weekend to see her and Keiff and some others. I'll have to keep you all posted on that venture. Until then, I bid you all adieu. And, Keith, go make some friends. Laaaaaaaate.

In the words of the great Albert Einstein, "Free at last! Free at last! Thank god almighty, free at last!" Boy if the words of the greatest American ever don't just sum it up, I don't know what does. I am done with finals, done with grading, done with it all. Now its on to the summer. I will tell you all about it, but first I wanted to introduce something my good buddy Joseph sent me called the Shizzolator. It will translate any page into how Snoop Dogg would say it. (http://www.asksnoop.com) The rest of the blog I am going to write in Shizzolator style.

So I'm pretty sho that I gots A's in izzall of my major courses this semester n' shit. It's chemistry that's really going fuck me up n' shit. I don't think there's any way I could has gotten lower than a C in there but I would really rather has a B. I doubt there's any way I can make an A either n' shit. Regardless of what happens, that shiznit is really over this time." None of this hard work over da summer shit n' shit. I am getting an internship wit da space center in College Station, though, 'n that's going take up a lot of my time, methinks, know what I'm sayin'? I am bound 'n determined start my workout program on Monday though n' shit. I also need stretch a lot this summer so I won't be completely embarassed in my yoga class next semester, know what I'm sayin'?

Oh yeah, 'n Keith moved out 'n some brizzle moved in n' shit. I came crib one day 'n Keith's room is izzall girly 'n there brizzle wuz n' shit. She like hosted a dinner party tonight, I dunno, know what I'm sayin'? I wuz too busy seeing X-Fools 2, which wuz fucking badass, just in case yo' ass wanted know n' shit. I recommed everyone go see X-Fools now! I also seen da fucking trailer fo' The Matrix n' shit. Thus far I've avoided that shiznit, but that shiznit wuz right there in front of me 'n I couldn't look away, know what I'm sayin'? I had scream a few expletives during that shiznit, know what I'm sayin'? That move is going change my life forever, 'n I'm frightened by da prospect, know what I'm sayin'?

So this week I really don't has anything lined up." If yo' ass're staying in town fo' da summer, hit me up 'n we can arrange some weekly boozing sessions or something." Oh, one a footnote, happy birthday Eric G■■■■ two turned da big ass 23 this Wednesday n' shit. Always nice celebrate a bday wit a fellow Northgate regular n' shit. Excelsior! I'll see yo' ass izzall on da flip siiiiide n' shit.

Yesterday I went to see Dr. Stephen Hawking give a lecture on Gödel and the end of Physics. It was really cool. I was surprised at how many jokes he threw into his lecture. For instance, he started off by apologizing for his voice, since he knew his accent was not exactly Texan. Then he went on to say something about how he holds the same prestigious chair in physics once held by Isaac Newton, only back then, the chair was not motorized. That guy can really cut it up, I tell you. I also got to be like 2 feet away from him before the show cause he kinda mingled in the lobby for a while. Now that Einstein is gone, I find comfort in other great minds to console me.

I went to the lecture with Keith, Burns, Joseph, AllieD, Jamie, and my friend JennyC■■■ from Plano. She just flew in that day to see Stephen Hawking cause she's like his biggest groupie. Anyway, the lecture was really interesting, he's an incredible speaker despite not having a voice. He really knows how to explain these abstract, incredibly involved and difficult concepts so the layperson can at least begin to understand them. I'm really glad I got to go.

Since Jenny flew here, she really has no way to get back to Plano. I said I would take her but since my parents are out of town anyway, there's really no point in going there. So instead, I'm taking her to Austin today. We're gonna hang out for a couple of days and then she's going to Greyhound it home. It should be fun since I've only been to Austin twice, and never really gotten to hang out in the city. Pearl and Matt P■■■ from high school said they would take me out tonite to have real fun since Jenny doesn't do anything fun like clubbing or drinking. Should be interesting. Anyway, I'll be back Tuesday, but will have my cell if you need to get a hold of me. Hope you're all having a terrific Spring Break.

This week was pretty good. You'll hear only a few minor complaints from me about it. I had a Chemistry test on Wednesday. I really didn't prepare for it very well. I watched all the classes in the library over the course of a couple days before the test and i worked all of the homework problems, but I still wasn't very good at solving problems. Anyway, I was pretty nervous about the fact that I was basically going to take an exam unprepared for the first time in a couple of years. I showed up and started the test and I didn't know the answer to the majority of the True False questions, so to simplify that process, I just put True for every single one. I was fairly certain that the majority of them were true, but I honestly wasn't sure so I guessed. Well as fate would have it, Jebus didn't want me to take a test unprepared either, so he turned the lights out. I was on question 3 when it went dark. We sat in the pitch black for like 10 minutes and then they opened the back doors to let in a little light and told us to turn our tests back in and leave. I have to take it next Monday now. I read the test in the stream of light and it didn't look too hard so I'm not skurred.

I was completely about to make a chemistry reference to drinking now and tell you about my rather mundane Northgate experience on Thursday, but I've just been filled in on the events of the night by Keith. Apparently a lot more happened than I actually remember. I would type the whole story here, but I have to run up to lab real quick so if you want to know just IM me.

Oh, I just realized it was Valentines Day. Its obviously been a big deal to me this year. Have a good one, you sluts.

Ahh, another productive night ... at NORTHGATE! My god, I have got to stop going there. But fuck it, I don't have shit else to do. Anywho, last night me and Ryan (you happy now, bitch) went to Northgate to celebrate another dead day. His next exam is Tuesday and mine is Wednesday, so we're both free. Todd stayed home and studied. We started out at the Dry Bean and each had a Royal Fuck. They were delicious. From there we decided to hit the hotspot, Mad Hatters.

Um yeah, neither one of us got the memo, but apparently it was Down Syndrome night at Mad Hatters. Everyone there was incredibly ugly and acting like a retard. One girl was even pretending to be pregnant and wearing a fat suit. And she kept on bumpin and grindin and yelling 'I'm PREGNANT whooo!' It was very strange. Needless to say, we finished our drinks as quickly as possible and skeedaddled over to the Library. I hadn't been there in forever. We met up with some girl named Kat that Ryan had met the night before. She was with her friend Heather Fuson, who I was in band with at Plano Senior High. So that was fun. I don't think I've ever actually talked to her but last night we caught up like we were OLD friends.

After that we decided to run by Taco Cabana because Ryan said he didn't have any food at home. We ran into Keith and Burns there and shared some queso and good times. I stayed the night at Ryan's cause I felt like drinking more. They really didn't have any beer so me and Todd split a big bottle of wine and watched music videos on like 5 different channels until 6 in the morning. Good times, good times. Right now I have to run up to lab for a while. You know me, go go go work work work. I'm gonna have a heart attack one of these days if I don't change my workaholic ways. Anywho, you kids be good and study hard. School is cool.

Oy veh, I am so sick of school. But now is not really the time to be feeling that way. I've got a big circuit test tomorrow that I am 100% unprepared for. I would really like to set the curve again just to be annoying, but I'm sorry kids, thats not gonna happen this time. Granted, I don't know many people who feel confident in their ability to identify op-amps and work with h-parameters on small signal analysis of bipolar junction transistors ... but still, I'm so far behind its not even funny. I studied for 7 hours last night with a big group of people and then a few hours earlier today. Except I get so disgusted that I just can't go on. So I took a break, got some dinner with Keith at The Max, and now I'm getting ready to head back up to campus to meet a big group of people. Its disgusting how much I study these days.

I made a really cool website for my team in one class. I wish I could show it to you all, but its completely passworded so that random people from our class can't go in there and steal stuff from us. If you're really curious, and have nothing to do with Engineering Technologies, then you can IM me and I'll give you a user name and password to look at it. Otherwise, no way Jose. (Jose just being a general term for all of you Sidesho-Viewers, not an actual person.)

Anyway, on Friday, its my good bud Joseph's big 21st birthday. Because of this, I think I'll refrain from going out on Thursday so I'll be good and thirsty to celebrate with the birthday boy. When that day rolls around, I'll put up a link for you all to IM him.

I fell asleep in my Symphony Class today and the prof yelled at me. But he kept calling me Mr. Quea or something like that ... it totally wasn't my name. He kept going 'GOOD MORNING MR. QUEA' and I was like 'yes, okay, I was asleep I'm sorry move on' and he'd be like 'yes, sir, GOOD MORNING.' Sheeeesh. If you get offended when people sleep in your class don't teach a really boring subject that I don't give a fuck about ... that plays classical music to lull me to sleep. Whatever, I'm not worried about it. I don't go to that class often enough for him to remember who I am.

Anyway, its about that time to go back to campus and hit the books again when all I really wanna do is hit the sheets. Such is life. Laaaaaaaaaate.

It's time for Monday again ... my favorite day of the week. It signals an entire school week ahead during which I'll be able to further my knowledge (and love) of digital and analog circuitry. This week is an especially exciting one since I'll be able to take a test on Thursday over a bunch of stuff that I really don't understand. Anyway, I don't really like talking about school. You know what I really like talking about.

Last night Colette and Brianne (the girls next door) both dunked their rings. It was really fun to watch. Brianne came in around 150 seconds and Colette followed shortly thereafter. And then, of course, there was a whole keg of beer left that had to be drank. I did my best to drink as much of it as I possibly could. It was a really good time. Todd, Ryan, and Sam showed up later, but I don't really remember even talking to them much. Allison swung by for a while. Matt and Keith both came as well as John and Courtney. Basically it was a good night of just sitting around doing what we do best.

I do have one misgiving about the whole weekend though. This morning (Sunday) I woke up with an enlarged uvula. For those of you who are not aware, thats the thing that hangs in the back of your throat. The only time this has ever happened to me was when I had my second knee surgery and my uvula got stretched out by the tube being shoved down my throat. Allison found something on the internet that said it could be caused by stress or an infection or something so we'll have to see what that's all about. It is SO annoying because its just resting right on my gag reflex. Yes its that long right now. I'm hoping beyond hope that I'll wake up and it'll be back to normal. Anyway, thats totally gross. I'm going to try to take a picture of it. Check you sluts later.

UPDATE: I just woke up this morning, and while my uvula isn't back to its original size, I think it is definitely smaller than it was last night.

God I love Halloween. That is, like, my favorite holiday all year long. The day started off pretty sucky, but it got so much better once I mixed in some drinks. I went to class around 9 and did that whole thing. Then I had to talk to my prof about the presentation I'm going to have to give to a class next week. He said we're going to shoot for Wednesday. I really don't want to do this, but its going to change my D to a B, so its definitely worth it.

After that I had to walk to archery. We had our form test, which means we didn't even shoot. Each person took turns having the prof watch us. You had to shoot two arrows at a target that was like 5 feet away, cause he didn't care if you could aim, just your form. I got 14/15 points. He said my form was really good, but I didn't pull the bow back the same distance both times, which I'm sure is true cause I'm not very good.

Then I went to my circuit design class. That was business as usual. That gets out at 3:30 and I decided to get ahead of the game and figure out my schedule for next semester. Turns out my department has a new lady whose only job is to be an advisor. We have a real live advisor now! Like someone who actually knows what she's talking about and gives a shit. Its nice. We used to just talk to professors who had way more important things to do. Anyway, I got my sched for next semester kinda figured out. I might take chemistry at Blinn, but I don't know how to do that, so we'll see.

After that I went to the computer lab to work on my presentation a little bit, but that didn't end up happening. Instead me and my lab partner, Owen, ended up on Yahoo! games playing pool against each other. I lost twice and won once. It was really fun. Then at 5 it was up to the lab to work on our multi-channel pulse width modulator. Fun stuff, it never ended up working. Then I left to go to my car and realized I never went home so I didn't have a car. That's always a fun feeling. So I started making calls.

Keith was in Fort Worth. I swear I need to start listening to him sometimes. Then I called Allison and she was too drunk to drive ... at 9 oclock. Halloween rules. So I called Brandon and he gave me a ride home. Then he came in while I made myself some leftovers and he ended up falling asleep on my couch, and he slept there all night. Didn't bother me. So I got ready to go out and did just that. I had my neighbor Brianne paint my face with eyeshadow so I looked like really sickly. I tried to snap a pic of it, but most of it rubbed off last night. So I went and picked up Ryan and we hit Northgate.

We started out at 315, the place that used to be the Reef. Then we ran into Allison and we went to the Library. That was pretty hopping. We spent the rest of the night there. Halloween on Northgate is too much fun. Everyone's in costumes and just getting CRA-ZAY. God I can't wait for next year. So then we went to Stev-o's house. It was fun. There were drinks and I think there was some oregano going on in the back room, but I'm too innocent to know. Well I ended up passing out on the couch in blissful slumber. I was rudely awakened a while later cause I guess Stev-o's roommate came home and it was his weed everyone was smoking or something, I don't know. I was just told we had to leave 'now!' So then Justin gave me and Ryan a ride home. Thanks for that, that was cool.

Today, I might go to class, but probably not. I hate my Symphony class, its so stupid. I do need to take a quiz I missed on Monday cause I was sick tho. Ehhh, I dunno. Then I need to go to the parking garage and get my car. Its so cool that you can just leave it there overnight. Very good call on the part of College Station. They usually just do stupid shit, but this makes sense. Then I don't know what else is on the slate.

One more quick note, sorry this blog is too long. There are some very exciting things happening at SideshoViD.com. This time ... he's not alone...

Howdy everybody. I am in the SCC right now to write up a paper over the Symphony that I attended on Sunday. I have to have it done within 5 days of the concert or else he won't accept the paper. So I thought I would get it out of the way. I am going to open lab at 5 so I won't have a chance to go home today, which always sucks. However, I will be going to Northgate after open lab probably around 9 or 9:30. If you would like to grab a beer with me tonight, meet me at MadHatters. I'll be at the bar. A few big news stories today, so lets dive right in.

First off, my new shoes look so good. However, they are tearing my feet to shreds. I have like 3 major blisters on each foot. You know how Sketchers are though, they take some serious breaking in. So I'm gonna grin and bear it today (not that I have a choice) maybe not wear them tomorrow but then continue to wear them every day until they are comfortable. But like I said, they look damn good, and thats what really matters.

I just came from my Circuit Design class. We got our tests back. I know I claimed to have aced it and then later retracted that statement. Anyway, I got a 92, which was the highest grade in the class. The average was a straight up 70, so basically I kicked the shit out of it. The sad part is, 4 of the points I missed were off reading a spec sheet. Which means looking at a sheet of paper, reading values and transferring them to the answer blank. I'd never looked at a spec sheet though, like I was supposed to have so I didn't have a clue how to read the thing. The other 4 points were just minor deductions here and there either for a stupid mathmatical mistake or not plugging in the correct given values. He really grades on method though, so he only takes off one point for the wrong answer as long as you got the wrong answer correctly. Anyway, I was totally pleased with the outcome there.

Finally, congratulations to my roomie, Kieffer Sutherland for making it into the Battalion today. Thats our school newspaper for those of you who don't know. The article was entitled "Going once, going twice ..." and it was about the auction of Lost & Found items at the MSC. Here now is the excerpt of the article that mentioned Keith:

Keith K■■■■■, a junior English major, enjoys the thrill of shopping. He says he would rather compete with others for purchases verses the traditional method of shopping. Like many Americans, he has become entrenched in the auctioning craze that has been sweeping the nation for the last several years.
"In online auctions, I have bought DVDs for a dollar, CDs for a penny and an 8-by-6 inch Harley Davidson belt buckle for five bucks," K■■■■■ said. "Because stuff at auctions is so cheap, I feel obligated to buy it."
Students such as K■■■■■ can bid against other Aggies at the MSC Hospitality's Lost and Found Auction on Wed., Oct. 16. The auction will be held in the MSC Flagroom, MSC from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m.

That Keith! He sure does enjoy the thrill of shopping. Why just the other day he was telling me how thrilled he was to have gone to the mall to do some shopping. You ought to see him when he shops ... so thrilled. Thanks to Emily V■■■■■ for her wonderful article.

That about sums up all the excitement of today. I will see you all at MadHatters tonight. Thanks and gig this.

Another weekend has drawn to a close. This was a particularly fun one, and if you're lucky I might tell you why. Okay, you're lucky. Lets see, last night me and Allison spent the better part of the night together. We took it slow though, no sense in chugging beers when you've got all night to drink. *WINK* Yeah so we were drinking like champs, what can I say? After got a little toasted we made some calls and my friend Stev-o came over to do a little drinking of his own. Then my neighbor Brianne came over to party with us and Keith came home. Before you knew it we had a little party goin'. Drinkin' some beers, telling some stories. Good times had by all. Then Matt came home with one of his friends, and it was just an all around good time.

I woke up this morning feeling refreshed. Okay, there's two lies in that sentence. I didn't wake up this morning, it was more like 2:30 in the afternoon, and I was surprisingly un-refreshed. Alas, it was worth it. I showered and got ready and went to the Brazos Valley Symphony Orchestra concert. I was a little bit disappointed. I knew what to expect, so I wasn't surprised, but my god could Baroque music BE anymore repeatative. I don't think so. Me and Keith both fell asleep in alternative intervals. Now I have to write a paper about it, which I'm not too thrilled to do, but whatever, it won't be hard. I don't have anything else due tomorrow since we got assigned a 2 week lab last week in my 349 lab. So thats a nice load off for a Sunday night. So in other words, no plans for tomorrow, just business as usual.

I hope you all had a good weekend too, and good luck with everything goin on this week. Keep checkin' in to keep up with yours truely. Laaaaaaaaaaate.

Guess who's back. Back again. Sidesho's back. Tell a friend. Yes, my friends, I am back in the pink today. Finally. Damn those 24 hour hangovers. Although, I have to admit a rather embarassing fact. This story is graphic, and not intended for my younger viewers. So I woke up at like noon yesterday and decided while I was feeling pretty good to get a little bit of lunch in my stomach and then go back to bed. And I made Hamburger Helper the night before, but I had failed to refrigerate the shit overnight. But I didn't think it would be a problem ... but now I think that was a really bad idea. Cause I laid in bed all day feeling like I needed to throw up, but didn't think that would be a good idea since all the alcohol was already out of my system, and I'd just forced myself to eat a big lunch and it would be a waste if i threw it up. So FINALLY around 6pm, I decided to just throw up, so that I would at least not feel queasy anymore. So I did it, and then cleaned my mouth, and stood up ... and INSTANTLY started feeling better. After that, I felt just fine. So now I'm equating the length and severity of my sickness, not to the alcohol, but to the rotten Hamburger Helper. So the moral of this story is ... refrigerate your leftovers, and if you happen to forget ... just don't eat the shit. A friendly PSA from yours truly.

Today I am going to go eat lunch around 2:00-2:30ish, because I have this thing to go to at 3. My symphony class professor is the conductor of the Brazos Valley Symphony Orchestra. And since we have to write a paper over two live performances this semester, I figured this would be as good an opportunity as any other. And he's hosting a talk today at 3 to talk to people about what we're going to hear at the concert tomorrow, i.e. everything I need for my paper. I'll still go to the concert, and not just because I paid $30 for tickets so I wouldn't have to go alone. Keith is going to go with me. But also because I genuinely enjoy music and I'm open to listening to music that I normally wouldn't listen to. So hopefully this will be an enriching experience. Plus I can describe music now using obnoxious music terms like basso continuo, and ritonello. Its fun to be pretentious. Then I think I might go to the mall and do some window shopping and say hi to my friend Stev-o who's gonna be working there today. We'll see. It depends on how long this symphony talk lasts, and how tired I feel after leaving the house. Since I haven't done that in a while. Alrighty then, I'll talk you kids later. Have a good one.

Hey everyone, thanks for all the great comments on the new layout. I think its really working out good. There's still some things I need to do. One request that I'm working on is to make the comments link tell you how many comments have been left. That will require some more scanning and as of right now, all of the scanners in the SCC are occupado. Of course, we have a scanner at home, but Keith is "going to hook it up soon" so I'm not allowed to have it. There's something else I want to scan to show all of you. Something incredibly creepy that was brought to my attention last night. If you look at the coupons in the coupon books they hand out on campus, and take a peek at the Fitzwilly's coupon, you might notice something scary. Of course, you would have to also know my friend Jay. Turns out, whoever drew the cowboy guy for the logo was using Jay as their model. It looks exactly like him. I'm gonna scan that in and put it up here soon. Damn, I wish all the scanners weren't taken.

I'm also working on a website for the PRSSA here on campus. They haven't hired me yet, but I'm gonna make them a 'sample' to decide if they want me to redesign their site or not. I'm not sure if they can afford me, but maybe they can. Its the Public Relations Student Society of America. Their current site is at prssa.tamu.edu. You can check it out and see how much it sucks. As soon as I get something working, I'll let you all see how I've revamped. Its quite impressive, methinks.

Anyway, sorry about not updating right away, my internet at home has been down now for like 2 days. Its really starting to upset me, but I really don't know what I can do about it. Hopefully it'll be working when I get home in a little bit. On the sched for this week is studying all night tonight, and then a big test tomorrow, to be followed by lots and lots of drinking. Thats about it. Have a great day, or not. The choice is yours.

Welcome back, you wayward Sidesho-Viewers. My site has returned, less technological than its ever been. So fear not, along with my site, I too have returned from the depths of anonymity. If you can't tell, a couple things have changed around here. There's a lot I still want to do, but I told myself I was going to release V5 tonight if it killed me. It still stands to be determined if it will actually kill me, since its 3:30 in the morning and I have class tomorrow. Some things are just more important, y'know? Like all of you to me.

In case you didn't gather, or I didn't tell you repeatedly, all of the words on this site have been replaced with my handwriting. You may think it was easy, but you would be wrong. I've been spending every free moment of time for the past week scanning in words, and photoshopping them so they look good online. Hehehe, 'photoshopping.' Its such bad grammar to verbify nouns. Keith can vouch for the fact that I've been hunched over my computer for hours every day. Anyway, there's still a couple of things that I want to convert to handwriting, but they're all obscure and none of you will ever notice. So for now just enjoy what you can see.

I've dispensed with the buttons, the tabs, and the navigation bars and opted to go for an 'all on one page' design. I think it is a little easier, on me at least. I'm not so sure I love the black and white of the page, but every great artist goes through a grey period, right? Sorry to all of you who used to be on the cast page, I'm sure I'm going to have some angry friends who feel they deserve their name on the one and only site dedicated entirely to myself. We'll see about getting something like that back on here soon. I'll think somethin' up, don't you worry.

The webcam is no longer 24/7 as it stands. Without its own dedicated page, its hard to make it refresh automatically every 30 seconds. So the majority of you would just see a black square, or an empty chair while you read my blog, and I surely don't want that. The pose I've left for you is my 'Dis be da shit right heeya' pose. I think its appropriate. The pics are all grey and grainy right now, but will soon pop links to bigger full color pictures. You've all seen me anyway, so you can wait on that. I've added a link to my archives, in case you ever missed a day in the past year. Now you can go back and read the old blogs. The search function is also different. It now just searches the blogs for keywords instead of my entire site. I like it better. Plus its built into my page now.

I added contact information back in. That was the one thing missing from my American Flag design. Of course, if you ever need to get ahold of me just insert 'SideshoViD' wherever you can and it'll work. I have Yahoo Messenger now too, I guess I could add that to the list. Its SideshoViD on there, of course. I took down the Sidesho-Poll for the time being because I hate that Sparklit crap I was using to host it. I'm going to learn how to host it off my own site if its the last thing I do and then the polling will commence once more. But it could very well be the last thing I do, so we'll see.

As you can tell, I'm rather excited about my new design, and the blogging is just flowing out of my fingers now. I'm totally rejuvenated after a long rest and a new layout. So if you would be so kind, please be sure to leave me a comment or two letting me know what you think of this layout. Thank you for coming back, and I hope to see you again real soon.

Hey kids. Boy have I ever not been in the mood to blog lately. That just happens sometimes, y'know. Like you get into the groove of blogging nearly every day for a long time and then suddenly its the last thing you wanna do with your time. Anyway, I'm back now. You've sure missed out on a lot of good stuff, but thats half the fun of me not blogging is you not knowing whats going on, so instead of trying to catch up, I'm just gonna talk about yesterday.

I woke up a little hungover so I spent the morning eating a nice breakfast I cooked for myself, drinking water and juice, and taking a shower. I felt much better after that, and it was such a beautiful day that I couldn't help but be in a really good mood. Keith and Matt left for Dallas to go to the Who concert so I had the place to myself. I decided to turn off the AC, open up all the windows and turn on all the fans. Not only did I air the place out but it felt so good. I had the digital cable music station blaring as I vacuumed and dusted and disinfected. The place is currently spotless. We'll see how long that lasts. So when I was done, I decided to get ready to go to the football game against Vergina Tech. I like to wrap my knees to facilitate standing thru the entire game, so I did the tight ace bandage, metal supported brace combination. No one knows I'm wearin it though cause my overalls go right over it. Man was it hot at the game, especially in these overalls. But it was so fun. Well, besides the fact that we had 3 über-bitches standing next to us all in a huff cause they thought we were in their seats. Whatever. It was just me and Allison so instead of trying to squeeze into our seats, we just took some empty room a few rows back. It wasn't a big deal though, cause they were only there for one quarter and we left before halftime to go down for senior yell so they were only bothering us for like 8 minutes.

Senior Yell was awesome. We went down and lined up and I saw so many people I knew down there. It was like a little '03 reunion. We got to go down on Kyle Field while the Fightin' Texas Aggie Band was doing their show. Then we did two yells and welcomed the Aggies back onto the field. I could have SWORN I was on the jumbo-tron, but so far no one had seen me. The guy with the camera was panning our faces and I had the camera RIGHT in my face for a few seconds, so if it was on the jumbotron then I was too. If you saw me, please let me know. After that they herded us off the field and we went and found a new place to stand in some room of people that left after the band played. The game kinda sucked, mostly cause we lost, but I still had a blast. I got really sunburned in the face, like I knew was gonna happen. But despite all that, it was too fun. Certainly better than sitting up in one of those boxes. Thats just a random opinion of mine, not directed toward anyone.

After that, my brother Stephen was in town, so he came over to see my place. Then we went to go eat at Rockfish. Once again, I ate seafood and enjoyed it. We both got seafood enchiladas. I also ate a shitload of peanuts. Blech. Anyway, I also had a couple beers with dinner, and then stuffed myself with enchiladas, so when we got back we laid around and watched TV, and then Stephen went back to Houston. Almost needless to say, immediately I fell the fuck asleep for a good couple of hours. Allison finally woke me up by coming over to see what I was doing since I wasn't online, and I wasn't answering my phone. Then I went over to her place and watched Super Troopers. It was a pretty funny movie, I would recommend it to all of you without hesitation. After that I got online for a while, did some real nice chatting, drank a couple beers. Keith got home and we went to Taco Cabana at like 4am. Good times, I haven't done that in a while. Now its Sunday and here I am. I don't have shit to do today, so I ain't gonna worry about nothing. Maybe I'll go lay out or something. You know how I do. Anyway, now you're all up to speed, no more complaining. Czech you skillets later.

Oh, and download the new song of the day. Its the JAM, seriously.

Hey all. I'm about to run out to see My Big Fat Greek Wedding with Allison and skip out on open lab hours. Me and Owen (my lab partner) got a lot more done today than anyone else, so its time for another break. I had a fairly productive day despite the rain. I went and pulled a couple football tickets for Vergina Tech on Saturday. Me and Allison are just going together. Its too hard to coordinate a big group for us. Then I went and cut the sleeves off my Harley Davidson shirt cause they were bothering me. Then I ran into both Justin and Arash each on opposite sides of the campus (both of whom you'll remember from the towing blog). So that was fun. Then I had my Symphony class where I fell asleep, and then my lab, which I already discussed. Which brings me to the now.

This is off the topic, but me and Keith watched Wayne's World last night while we ate, and I made a comment about how much of that movie is in my regular rotation of phrases. And as we watched it, i kept count of how many lines from the movie I use on a daily, semi-daily (or even hourly) basis. The count got way into the double digits. Lets just put it that way. It made me kind of sad.

On another note, I told you all I would let you know how Jay's endeavor in the ToughMan competition turned out. This thing went against everything I believe in, but I found myself being very entertained. Jay 'Soda Popinski' did not advance past the first round. He lost after 3 one-minute rounds in a unanimous decision. It wasn't all for naught though, because he made the front page of our school newspaper today. And I felt obliged to share it with all of you. Gotta run, check you all latah.

I think I have a lot to talk about. I haven't blogged in a couple of days. So sit back, relax, and strap yourself in for this fast paced eye popping blog of all blogs. Okay thats a total lie. Anyway, what's been goin on? Wednesday passed like any other day, not much to talk about there. Thursday a lot of little things happened.

In my archery class we got to select bows. I chose a left handed 26 pound bow. I am left eye dominant so I'm taking the instructor's advice and firing left handed. He said initially it will be harder, but a better idea in the long run. And since I'm going to be a complete natural at archery, I want to be as good as I can be down the road. On Tuesday we actually get to fire arrows. I'm so excited.

On my way back to main campus from archery, my friend Nadia called me just to see what was up. I have a large break in between classes so I met up with her outside of the Bright Building just to say hi and bullshit. On the way, I ran into Adam, the guy who was in our speech class with us. We chit chatted for a little while and then parted our separate ways. The rest of the day was a total bore of class and stuff. But I did not go to open labs for the first time this week. It was a nice break. Instead, AllieD invited me over for dinner. She made beef strogonoff (if anyone knows how to spell this word I would greatly appreciate it). It was so damn good. She made a LOT tho, and it was just the two of us, so we ended up completely gorging ourselves while we watched Van Wilder (an excellent flick, I highly recommend).

After that I wanted to come home, get ready and go out. Turns out Allison was (a) in a good mood and (b) wanting to go out. So we actually went to Northgate just the two of us. That doesn't happen too much. We had a friggin blast. Well I know for sure I did, and I'm pretty sure Al did too. We started off at the library. I ran into some of my friends and we all shared a table. Allison had a Cosmopolitan cause she was already looking fabulous so she wanted to accentuate the obvious. I had a Jack and coke cause I'm a simple man with simple tastes. After that we went to Duddley's and drank some beers until they kicked us out. I completely forgot that we had parked in the garage, so I was thinking that Moore Hall was on the way to my car, so I made Allison go all the way over there cause I had to piss like a racehorse and everywhere on Northgate was locked. Burns let me in, and we chilled for a minute. Some guy was riding around on a skateboard, so Allison told him she had a phone call for him. It was the 80's and they wanted their skateboard back. Needless to say, she wasn't making friends. So we split. I got home, drank a few beers, chatted for a while, and then went to bed.

Today I woke up at like noon, didn't bother showering, went to my Symphony class. Then I did this assignment for my 349 class and turned it in, and now I am home. End of story basically. Tonight, me and Keith are going to the Toughman Competition. Our friend Jay has decided that it was necessary to gain like 7 pounds in order to be able to fight in the lowest weight division. He's going to get in the ring, hit somebody he doesn't even know as many times as he can, and I suppose its gonna prove something. Whatever the motivation though, we're so there. I know I shouldn't complain about the idiocy of such a contest when I'm funding it with my ticket price, so I'll try to keep an open mind going in. We'll see though. I'll let you all know how it goes. Til then ... be cool, stay in school.

Last night I decided I wanted to go out. I had my out-fit on. So I went over to Allison's to discuss the proposition. To make a long story I don't wanna tell into a short story, two and a half hours later, it was decided that we would indeed, go to Northgate. This was around 11:30, which means we didn't step foot into a bar until midnight. By 'we' I mean 'me, Allison, and Katie.' There was a line for The Library (where I really wanted to go) so we opted for the new MadHatter's ... since none of us had been in there yet. It was pretty neat. They played nothing but 80's music the whole time, so I guess its kinda fun to have a themed bar on Northgate. Their drink specials were chocolate martinis for $2.50. That really didn't sound appetizing to me, but I didn't want to be left out, so I opted for an apple martini for a couple bucks more. Mmmk, if by 'apple martini' they meant 'a big glass of sour apple pucker.' Needless to say, I didn't really enjoy my drink much. Allison and Katie didn't much appreciate their chocolate/alcohol concoctions either. It was a little disappointing. We did run into some of our neighbors there, though, and talked to them for a while. And I saw one of my friends from elementary school and said hi to him for a while. All in all, I had a lot more fun that if I had just gone to bed.

I don't know about Princess tho, she was about as sour as my drink. We got home and she went to bed pretty much. I drank a couple beers and watched an episode of Cheers and then went home and drank my last beer. I was all alone and bored and getting drunk and I needed some company, some conversation, and another beer. So who did I call? Naturally, I called Holly. What a class act. She drove over to my place with 2 beers so we could sit and chat and share a drink. She's too cool. After that I called Keith to make sure he was alright cause it was like 4am and he's usually home before that. Turns out this kid decides to drive to Austin with Burns last night just spur of the moment cause they were bored. Whaaaatever. So then I went to bed and woke up today hearing a howling pouring rainstorm. So I rolled over and went back to sleep. I hate rain.

I heard my Aggies won 14-12 against Pitt. That's good news. Too bad I didn't get up to actually watch the thing, but oh well. Not sure what's on the plate for tonight, but I know I wanna get out of the house at least and mingle a little bit. We'll see what happens and I'll keep you all posted.

It begins. Class has officially begun here at Texas A&M University. In case some of you out there do not go to a communist school, you wouldn't assume that we started on Labor Day ... but we did. I started off the day trying to get my schedule together. I first went and talked to my prof about my summer project. I told him about my progress, which was substantial, and he decided that it would best serve me if I was in 349, the next level class. Which was really, really, really good news. I may actually graduate now. Of course, I have to prepare a 30 minute presentation/demonstration of my summer project within the next 4 weeks to prove that I've actually done what I say I've done. And I plan on starting on that ... tomorrow. D'oh!

Anyway, once I got that squared away, I dropped my 395 class that Diffeq subbed for, and had 4 hours I had to fill. I eventually did this with 3 hours of Symphony appreciation or something like that, and 1 hour of beginning archery, which I'm really excited about. My symphony class looks like its gonna be a breeze, but difficult to stay away through. I already know the names of all the instruments and what families they're in etc. So thats a cinch. My archery prof said we don't get to shoot an arrow until like the 4th week. Which sucks. I wanna get started.

My other classes are going to be challenging like always, because they're my upperlevel curriculum stuff. I dunno, I'm really thinking about doing good this semester. Each semester I get a little bit better about my study habits so I should be just about par with most incoming freshmen by now. We'll see how it goes. I'm so tired and I need to go to Best Buy so I can stop using Keith's computer. So I'll talk to you cats later.

Well this is a bit of a momentous occasion, dear Sidesho-Viewers. Welcome one and all to my 100th blog. I didn't actually realize that this moment was upon us until I saw that the archive address for my last blog was like 0000099. Its pretty exciting. I've enjoyed writing all 100 and look forward to 100 more. I know you all can't get enough of me.

Anyway, my computer still doesn't work. I'm on Keith's computer again. I spent a good portion of my night last night on the phone with the Cox cable lady and she had all kinds of things for me to do to our modem, the router, and my computer, none of which worked. Matt said that DJ has an extra network card that he's not using, so I'm going to try that and see if it fixes my problem. Other than the computer not working, I also don't have all of my furniture, which has made putting my room together kind of hard. I need my dresser so that I can put away my clothes and start arranging everything how I want it. As of right now everything is in a bit of disarray. All the stuff isn't out of storage yet either, so the living room is a mess too. I hate moving. But I love my new place so far.

Today I got up around 2 and went to get a sports pass. I apparently forgot to put that on my fee statement, so I had to wait in a line for an hour and a half for them to turn it on. All of my friends already pulled tickets to the first game so I pulled a solo ticket and I'm going to sneak down and sit with somebody I know. Not sure who yet. After that I went and saw my advisor so he could tell me some classes I have left to take. The list is dwindling. Unfortunately most of what I have to take is in my major, which requires pre-req's that I don't have. But there's still a few classes that I need to take, so I'll take some of them whenever add/drop week comes around. After that I went to the dorm to see Burns and check out where my roommates have been spending their nights this week. I've been trying to be responsible so I've been staying home and just watching TV. Tonight I drank some really good wine. Suds got it from Olive Garden cause he works there and they were getting rid of one of their vintages, so I bought a bottle for 10 bucks. Which was a steal. It was really tasty. I actually saved most of the bottle instead of drinking it all like I usually do, so I'll be able to enjoy it for a few more days to come.

I would like to go out tonight, but I shouldn't, so I don't think I'm going to. However, if somebody reads this and has something fun planned, definitely let me know. Otherwise, I'll spend my night chatting and watching MTV, which is AOK with me. Until then...

Well, I was planning on waiting to make another post until I got my internet up and running, but it turned out that I just couldn't wait that long. I am using Keith's computer right now. His works just fine, yet mine two rooms over will not even find a connection. Its very frustrating. I've been on hold with Cox Cable for about 30 minutes now. I just moved in yesterday with my roommates for the next year Keith (who we all remember from last year) and Matt. We got ourselves a nice little duplex. If you wanna know where it is, send me and IM and I'll probably tell you. I just don't want to broadcast that information. Anyway, moving in has gone semi-well. I made myself a curtain today out of heavy canvas material because the sunlight was coming directly into my window this morning and I couldn't sleep past 8am, which is insanely early for me, as you know.

But enough about me. Lets talk about my weekend. I left around 9:30am on Friday with Allison to head back to Plano because my brother, Michael, got married. Friday night was the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. The rehearsal was nothing. It took like 10 minutes to tell us all where to stand (I was a groomsman) and then it was off to the Radison hotel in Richardson for the dinner. It was a pretty good dinner, some chicken with this sauce on it and rice and a torte for dessert. There was also an open bar. That was pretty cool. I didn't much care for the country and western DJ until he put on some Eminem. It really flooded the dance floor, and I think it was the only rap song he had, so he just played it over again to keep everyone out there. As a gift for all of his groomsmen and ushers, my brother got us headlights. They're these 3 really bright LEDs that are attached to a headband and they can either produce a steady stream of intense light or you can make them blink or dim it or anything. They're really cool. So everyone out on the dance floor had these blinking lights attached to their foreheads. It was pretty cool. I was driving so I had to stay semi-in-control. I did a good job though. Even though after the dinner party me and Allison joined some of Michael's friends across the street at the Fox and the Hound for another drink.

The next day I just chilled around with the fam. Almost everyone went off the take a nap, but I wasn't tired cause I stayed in bed until well into the afternoon. So as everyone retired, I called my friend Jay in Plano and went over to his house. I haven't seen him in like a year. We ended up going to Bennigan's for a beer and he bought me a shot. Let me tell you, it was exactly what I wanted right before the wedding, but it didn't end up being an issue. The ceremony was at 7:30 at night. It was a nice wedding. Krista, my new sister in law, looked great. And, more importantly, so did I. Everything there went off without a hitch. They flew back to Sacremento, CA yesterday and left for Maui today. They're going to be there for 8 days. Fun stuff. The party after the wedding was another fun one with another bad DJ. It was the same DJ that did my brother, Stephen's wedding. He said his name was DJ Brian. I told him he was really clever. He played all the greatest hits of 20-30 years ago. Kind of sucked, but there was free beer, so we managed to have a good time. It was good to see all the family and old family friends and stuff. Even though I really only got to talk to each person for about 5 minutes. The next day I was moving into my new place so I got up, had brunch with Allison's family and then we hit the road for College Station. I ended up giving Kari (Krista's little sister) a ride back too, so it was the fullest car I've ever driven to school.

Now here I am in my new duplex, just chillin waiting for somebody, anybody, from Cox to pick up and tell me how to get my computer connected to the internet so I can get my AIM running 24/7 and my webcam too. Hopefully that'll happen in the next couple of days. If not, I'll be contacting you all from Keith's computer at a later date. Excelsior!

Big news everybody. Say it with me now all together, "SCREW YOU AOL!" HA, we don't need 'em anymore. And you know why? Cause we've got

SideshoViD@sideshovid.com

Oh yes, you read it right. We're becoming more self sufficient every day, my friends. Along with this comes the news that Hit-O-Meter, my long time counter service will be going offline in August. So now I'm gonna use my own cgi counter that will be self contained inside my webpage. I know I say it often, but this time its really true. Some very exciting things are happening at SideshoViD.com!

Whats new IRL tho. Not a whole lot. Class has become a secondary thing since I took a test on Monday. I think I may be coming down with something because I sleep far too much to be a normal person. But I haven't diagnosed myself with mono just yet. I'm still gonna give it some time to just pass on its own.

I'd like to take this opp to thank Steve for helping me test my email and sending the first ever email to SideshoViD.com. And likewise, I'd like to thank Ryan S■■■ for being the first ever to receive an email from SideshoViD.com. (I got the incoming working way before the outgoing.) These men were a part of history today. Hopefully a long and celebratory history. I'm just a little too excited, so I think I'm gonna go update the cast page like it badly needs. Excelsior, you have nots!

Well, I made it. Here I am in sweet College Station hangin out with my good friend Allison. I thought I'd fill you all in on the recent events since Kevin didn't have internet ... whaddup with that? I stayed in San Antonio at Kevin's for 3 days. I had a lot of fun there. We didn't do a whole lot. We went bowling once, we shot pool for a couple hours, got drunk once, and I played NBA Street a LOT. Its my new favorite PS2 game and if I ever get some money, I'm totally gonna buy it cause i'm so damn good at this game.

My road tripping days are pretty much over. I've put about a 1000 miles on my car in the past week and a half, but I'm stickin here for like a week. Then I'm going home again for KISS Party. I can't wait, The Calling is the greatest band ever.

Check you have nots later.

After claiming that I was all partied out, I found a second wind apparently last night. I went over to Ryan's apartment and Daniel and Joel came over too. Then Joel's roommates Clayton and Ward showed up. We were playing Go Drink all night. Go Drink is a helluva lot like Go Fish, but anytime anything happens you have to drink pretty much. But man was it ever fun. When you've just played too much 6-Cup, you ought to try Go Drink.

I created the coolest shirt ever to wear last night. Me and Keith went thrifting and I bought two Tshirts. Then I borrowed Allison's sewing machine. Cut the two shirts in half, and sewed their respective halves together. Thus creating the coolest shirt ever.

What else? Today I'm planning on taking the kitchen over to storage. But in order to do that I have to go over to Sam's to get some boxes for the dishes. But in order to do that I have to go take a shower and put on some clothes that don't reek. I think this blog may be rather scattered. Sorry about that. I'm just gonna go, I'll see you all later.

Four days left for me to be in my apartment. I think today I'll start making trips over to the storage unit with everything I can carry myself. Keith & Family are in his room right now getting the last of his things and taking him home. Allison's away message says she's packing to go home today too. So sad, everyone's leaving. Oh well, I'll be gone soon too.

I should be getting to Plano like Thursday I think. I'm just gonna chill while I'm there. I'm gonna watch TV and let my mom cook for me. It'll be great. There are some people I need to see, but I'm just gonna let that happen of its own accord. Then summer school starts June 3 so I'll be back in College Station on May 30 to help Ryan and Todd move into their new duplex, where I'll be staying for the duration of summer school. Then, of course, its back to Plano for KISS Party on June 8 where I'll be seeing The Calling. Whoo hoo. So that's the layout for this summer. Whenever my schedule coincides with yours, you best be callin on me. Holla!

My apologies for the blog haitus. Most of them extended toward Allison who, against her morals, went to my site TWICE and didn't find a new blog. Well, Allison, my name is Zoon and I live on the moon, and I'm here to give you a blog. And without further adieu...

Not much new. Sorry, rather anticlimactic, I know. I've been working a lot on school and usually just don't feel like sharing boring information with you all. Oh, I do have one story though.

On Wednesday, I went to campus for open lab hours (5-9) and afterward I didn't feel like riding the bus home. So I was gonna call Keith to pick me up but he was, unbeknownst to me despite constant reminders, at the Tenacious D concert in Houston. So I ended up sitting on the benches waiting for him to pick up for like an hour. I started bitching about being stranded so this girl that I'd just met turns to her friend, whom I'd just met, and says, "Wanna go with me to take Gilligan home?" To which another guy responds "Hey, you didn't ask me if I wanted to go!" Long story short, 3 semi-random complete strangers are getting up for the expressed purpose of taking my ass home.

But the story doesn't end there. When we get to the car, this girl hands me her keys and says "It'd probably be faster if you just drove." I said, "You don't even know me." She replied, "Well you know how to drive don't you?" So in the end, I drove myself home in a car that wasn't mine with 3 people I didn't know. When I got to my apartment I just hopped out, said thanks, and went inside. It was odd, but fun in a way. There aren't many opportunities to be spontaneous in circuit design, y'know what I mean. It was a nice vacation from the norm. Anyway, tonight I'm going to Allison's to drink the bubbly and I'll see you cats laaaaater.

Tonight I went to the WWF's Monday Night Raw at Reed Arena with Keith and two of his work friends. It was so much fun. I showed up in support of Spike Duddley, the 140 lb wrestler, but I seemed to be the only one. His slogan is "Pound 4 Pound: One Tough Little Bastard." He's so cool. I actually got to see all the wrestlers that I like -- Spike Duddley, Jeff Hardy, Stone Cold, and Rob Van Dam.

We rode the bus to Reed Arena but it took so long that we just decided to walk home. So we walked from Reed Arena to our apartment, which is pretty damn far. I don't know what this new trend of me walking long distances is, but I know its got to stop. It ended up being lucky that we took so long cause when we got home we left for Taco Cabana.

When we got there, Keith recognized Sean Staziak, or something like that, he's a no name. But he was eating with Rob Van Dam. Yes, that's right, RVD, Mr. Monday Night, The Whole Fucking Show, The Vandaminator, was eating at our Taco C. Keith got pictures with both of them, and I shook RVD's hand and thanked him for the good show tonight. I wasn't overly excited (I mean, it wasn't Spike Duddley) but Keith about urinated on the both of them. All in all though, it was a very exciting cap to a very entertaining evening. Viva la WWF!

Fuckin' A did I have a good time last night. Ryan and Todd convinced me to go clubbing with them, which, if you know me, you know I hate to do. I'm more of a stay at home and chill kind of person, so you'd be hard pressed to get my ass in a club. But Todd laid one of his guilt trips so I said I'd go, but promised that I would embarass him. So me and Keith set out to coming up with a character for me to be.

I started by shaving my week's worth of stubble into a respectable mustache. I liked the look it gave me, but it was decidedly white-trash. So next I worked on the hair. I ended up with it all greased back with way too much gel in it. I left a curl down in front though for that special 'fuckin a' touch. We experimented with a bunch of different outfits but were having a hard time getting something to perfectly match the hair. Keith, being the kind soul he is, donated his Harley Davidson tshirt to the cause. I promptly cut the sleeves off. We finished out with black sketchers and a pair of jeans with my big shiny belt buckle. Oh yeah, and a white wristband on my right arm.

Now this alone was pretty funny, but it wasn't until Keith went out to his car and brought me back a pair of aviator sunglasses that I really slipped into character. It was a priceless look, dead on white trash. And I went to Tonix like that, and it was awesome. A few shots later I was on the dance floor and didn't go to bed until the wee hours of the morn. I leave you today with these short words of wisdom, "Talk shit, get hit. Whoooweee"

To start this blog, let me explain a process to you. Its kind of strange, so try to keep up. First, a person lays down on the ground and covers their face and hair with a wet towel. Next, a hollow tube of wax about a foot long is inserted into the ear. Once it is comfortably seated in the ear, with a helper holding it in place, the opposite end of the tube is lit on fire. As it burns down, a third person makes sure the ashes fall into a bowl of water. When the tube has burned down to about 4" long, it is removed from the ear and extinguished. The process is called "Ear candling."

Why on earth would I be telling you about this, you may be asking right now. In short, because thats what I did on Saturday night. I was over at Allison's with Katie and Kelley and I brought some ear candles with me. Its supposed to be really soothing, so we turned down the lights and lit some candles and stuff. And the instructions come with a step by step process for a face massage. So we really got into it. Once we started going though, it turned out to be more humorous than relaxing. It was an odd sensation and it clogged my left ear for like 2 days, but they're back to normal now. If you would like to learn more about the process, you can visit Wally's All Natural Supplements for Your Health.

Keith is now standing in my room in his workout clothes being a bitch and hurrying me along, so that's where the story will have to end. I guess I'll fill you all in on the rest of the goings on at a later time.
End of line.

What a crazy and fun Friday night. That's how they should all be. The evening began at Fazoli's with Keith to get some dinner. I had the lasagna with broccoli. It looked gross but tasted great. The breadstick girl gave me attitude because I made fun of her for flirting with Keith. I was chewing on a lemon and she came by to tell me that she used to eat lemons when she was little. So I said, "Yeah, well I used to be fat when I was little." No I'm kidding, but that's what the old immature me would have said. I didn't really retaliate except by making her throw my trash away.

After I was fetted and full, I went to Ryan and Todd's to commence the binge drinking session. We played 6-Cup, our favorite drinking game. Its a lot like Power Hour in that you don't ever have to really drink all that much at once, but after you've been playing a while, it hits you pretty hard. I was playing with Ryan, Todd, David, and Joseph. Sometime around 3am everyone started passing out, but me and Joseph were still wide awake. I got a call from Allison telling me she was at a killer party and that I should stop by. So I called Keith and had him drive me and Joseph over to Allisons.

When we got there, there was no alcohol except for some Skyy drinks that belonged to some girl. So we drank those, but we weren't supposed to so we had to disguise the fact that we were drinking these bright blue bottles. I put mine in a Keebler's Crackers box, and Joseph hid his in a neon yellow fanny pack. Soon after we got there, everyone started going home or passing out, which sucked. We could have passed out on the floor of Allison's duplex, but I really wanted my bed and Joseph was gonna sleep on my couch. There was only one way to make it home though ... and that was to walk.

For those of you who are familiar with College Station, we walked from Welsh & Southwest Pkwy to Texas & Holleman. Its pretty damn far and it was a little chilly. We ran into one guy who was sitting on his porch smoking a cigarette so we stopped and had a smoke with him. I don't remember if he was cool, but we'll just say he was. By then it was probably around 4am. We happened to be walking right by Leslie's apartment, and despite the fact I hardly ever talk to her anymore, I decided I would like to see her so I called her cell phone. She didn't answer but I left a message that said "Hey it's David. I'm just about to walk by your apartment and thought I'd stop by but you must be sleeping," And we continued on.

A couple minutes later, we're a ways down the sidewalk and I hear this faint "DAAAAAVIIIIID!" Turns out Leslie had just listened to my message, so I yelled back and ran back to her apartment. We stopped in there and chilled for a while though all we had to drink was water, since we were a bit parched from the walk. I saw this guy I went to school with from like K-8 grade and he didn't remember me which offended me. I mean, I probably haven't seen him in like 8 years, but still. I remember everyone from my elementary school. Well, around 4:30, I think, we left Leslies to finish off the walk home.

When we got back to my apartment, we made some Easy Mac and drank a bunch of water. Keith came home and was enjoying our drunken antics as Joseph tried to make some tuna concoction to eat. It was pretty funny. I think we went to bed around 5 or 5:30am.

To sum up the evening, it was exactly "how I do." Every Friday night should be as adventurous. I woke up around 2:30 today and went to Wal-Mart with Allison and Keith. I didn't buy anything, but we did stop by GNC and get some of those candles that you burn in your ears. Its odd, look 'em up, I'll let you know if they work. Oh, also, in Wal-Mart I kicked a ball into this toddler's face. It was hilarious. Tonight I'm gonna go to Allison's to eat lasagna and watch Life as a House, which is an EXCELLENT movie. So, I'll catch you kids later. Excelsior!

Thanks to everyone who has come to my new site in the past day and either left me a comment, voted 5 stars (you bastards), or IMed me to tell me about the site. Although most of you said the red was too much, the binary numbers were obnoxious and my hair looked stupid. My viewers are so damn critical, but I guess that's cause they've come to expect so much from me.

There is something new, that I'm sure I told most of you about 3 times already. The webcam section now has dualing webcams. You can stare at my sweet ass from two different angles. Let's hope Keith doesn't mind that I stole the camera from him that he's had in the box for like a month now. I'm actually sitting around waiting for him to get back in town so we can go eat. I called him at like 11 and told him to start driving home cause I wanted to go to Taco Cabana. I guess he did too cause he started on his way here. He should be here in like a half hour. He needs to hurry cause i'm about to raid that bag of Lay's. Anyway, peace out you have nots ... and keep your hands to yourselves.

Moore Hall, Nati Light, put 'em together, what a hell of a night! That was pretty much the theme of my night last night. First I went to Allison's and it was her friend Scott's 21st birthday. They were going to Salty Dog and I didn't feel like going, so I called Keith to find out what he was doing. He picked me up and we went to a Moses party. Burns rode with us, and when we got there, the whole gang was there -- Slim Jim, Maddou, Schu, John, Marcellus, Kevin. Well the cops busted that up pretty soon after we got there, so Keith and I left.

Then we went over to another Moore Hall-ish party. It was over at Blinkie and Grover's pad and all the big names were there -- Cody, Jay, Horatio, Bread, Tye, Humpty. Naturally, we played the Lean-Fro song from the original parchment that we made a year ago outside of G Rollie. In short, Gilligan was resurrected for a night, and it was fun. Moore Hall Truckers, Bad Mother Fuckers ... whoop.

So Keith had a good idea last night. We are looking for a third roommate to move into a duplex over on Dexter and he suggested I advertise that on my webpage. So if you are looking for two roommates, are not psycho and would be interested in paying $350/mo for a duplex on Dexter, please IM me or email me and let me know. Serious inquiries only please :)

Other than that, school's been kicking my ass, but its all good. Tonight is Thursday, I'm just gonna relax, and I might, JUST might, take a Day-O-Fun tomorrow since I only have one class, but I don't want to get back into that habit. We'll see. LAAAATE

Hey, thanks for all the great comments yesterday *makes masturbatorial motion* Anywho, some people grasped the concept, the rest of you, I'll have to have a talkin to. So, to everyone in Aggieland, is it fucking cold enough for you today? My God, I don't know what the temperature is, but the wind chill must be below freezing. I wasn't wearing a single article of clothing today that could block the wind. Today sucks. And I have to go back out in it in a couple of hours. I'm gonna maybe take a nap or watch some TV for a couple minutes. Then I'm gonna go get Lisa Loeb's new album. It's gonna be most excellent. If you want to hear her new single, Someone You Should Know, on Real Player, you can click there. Then I'm gonna go get some tickets for me and Keith to Thursday's showing of The Vagina Monologues. Then its off to class for the rest of the day. It should be a fun and exciting, albeit subfreezing, day.