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It's becoming apparent that my blog is dying. After almost 9 years of recorded history, the relevance is starting to wear thin. I'm trying to think of some fitting way to say goodbye, but for now it'll probably just sit and stagnate for a while since I still use the FTP associated with my account. Maybe I'll print out every blog and bind it in a big book that can be relived time and again. Maybe some day one of my ancestors will say, I wonder what David was like in college. And then read it and be like oh dear god I wish I'd never known. Then again, I won't have any ancestors, but y'know ... children of my nieces and nephews grandchildren. People like that.

So sorry if any of you are still checking. I think I might be checking out for realz this time, but you never know. If I change my mind you'll be the first to know.

The sixth installment of Febrehab has come and gone. And while this was one of the easiest transitions yet, it was probably one of the most successful. The side challenge this year was to visit at least one uniquely Dallas/cultural establishment each weekend. And we chose the Dallas Museum of Art, The Dallas Aquarium, The Nasher Sculpture Museum, and The Sixth Floor Museum.

DMA was good. I think I addressed that in an earlier blog. The aquarium was fun because my sister was in town and she came down on the train with my parents and we all met up. It was neat, but I think I'm really glad I had little kids with me, otherwise I would have blown through that joint in 20 minutes. But they made it more interesting. It's a little confusing the ratio of underwater to terrestrial exhibits they have. So many birds and monkeys and snakes and bunny rabbits? What the hell kind of aquarium has bunny rabbits? But whatever.

The Nasher Museum was pretty cool. Lots of neato statues. But for 10 bucks, it really only took us about 30 minutes to go through that so I'm not sure if it alone was worth it. If you're gonna go I would suggest having lunch out on the patio and maybe a glass of wine and lingering for a while to make your dollar go a little further. Now for us, the thing that made it worth the money was running into Miranda Hobbes while we were there. She was just walking around with her mannish lesbian lover and a couple of friends looking at the artwork. Nobody was bothering her, so far be it from us to be the only two stargazers. After our initial giggling and hitting each other, we basically left her alone. But then lo and behold about 10 minutes later we were in this huge empty installation minding our own business and she walked in all by herself. So it was me, Daniel, and Miranda standing there looking at these sculptures on the wall. So finally I turned to her and said, "YOU are Cynthia Nixon." And she smiled and said, "I am." And I said, "We're really big fans." And she said, "Thanks." And then I nonchalantly turned back to Daniel and pretended to continue a conversation we'd been having about the sculptures. It was too fun.

I can't believe I've never been to the Sixth Floor Museum -- which is the sixth floor of the Texas School Book Depository that Lee Harvey Oswald allegedly shot Kennedy from. As much as I love History Channel shows about it, I've just never gotten off my fat butt to walk over there. It was pretty cool. I have to say, they always describe it as such an impossible shot from an impossible distance, but when I was sitting up there, looking out the window at the road directly below, it did not seem far to me at all. So that pretty much sealed the deal for me and I'm now convinced it was Oswald.

And that was February. Totally fun. This weekend we went to the Convention Center for the Dallas Auto Show and to try out for Wheel of Fortune. It's a life long goal of mine to be on the show, but it turns out, I'm not the only one with that dream. There were thousands of people trying out. It felt a lot like American Idol. There was a raffle system to see who even got to go up on stage to play a fake game. And they called about 40 people during the hour long slot that we got into, and I wasn't one of them. So boo. But I tried and it was totally fun sitting there thinking your name might be called next. So I counted that as a victory. Then I got to see a Chevy Volt and sit in a Smart car, and see Allison who was working the Mini booth. So also a pretty good day. I wouldn't be disappointed if this do-something-every-weekend continued all year round. Huzzah.

Any suggestions for next weekend?

I don't know if you've noticed the conspicuous omission of any posts about Febrehab this year. It's not that I'm not doing -- I am. It's just that it's really not much of a challenge this year. I really don't drink a whole lot these days. And, I wasn't going to mention this publicly, just in case, but now I think it's pretty official: I quit smoking 6 months ago.

Right when we got back from Owen's wedding when I wasn't feeling well, I didn't smoke and then I just kind of figured I would keep it going just for the hell of it. So now that's that. I don't foresee myself ever going back to it. I don't even miss it.

But that does kind of take the fun out of rehab if you're not addicted to anything. But this year I am trying to focus on sleeping more, so I've moved my bedtime up to 10:30pm. I do not stay up past that for any reason. And the other side challenge is to do something cultural in Dallas each weekend in February. So yesterday JennyC■■■ came into town and we went with her to the Dallas Museum of Art. Got some general admission passes and walked around and looked at art. She'd been there 100 times, Daniel had been a few times, but I've never been. It was a really fun way to spend the afternoon. Then we came back and chit chatted for a while and then Jenny had to leave.

So far so good, just not a lot to report so I've kind of forgotten to keep the blog up to date, but you're probably getting used to that these days, no?

The good news is that the neurologist was pretty sure he'd found was what wrong with me. He made me do all sorts of goofy shit like walking a straight line, standing on one foot with my eyes closed. Then he made me lay with my head off the edge of a table and forced my head back and forth and told me to look in extremely opposite directions. I didn't know this, but I've since learned on YouTube, that when you're experiencing vertigo your eyes go through a certain REM. And based on the pattern that your eyes jerk around they can tell you exactly which ear has the problem.

I have what is called benign positional vertigo. It's called "benign" because in and of itself it causes no harm to anything, although it does freak people out and make them think they have tumors and whatnot. But what it is is actually an inner ear malfunction that can be brought on by everything from an ear infection to absolutely no reason. You have three semi-circular canals in your inner ear on the X, Y, Z coordinate planes. Each one is filled with fluid and has a hair with a calcium carbonate rock on the end. When you turn your head certain directions the fluid flows and pushes on the rock letting your brain know that you've moved to a certain position. Well pieces of that calcium carbonate can break off and become free floating in to the canal, running into things and causing the sensation of motion.

To flush these particles out of the canal you do what is called the Epley Maneuver, which basically consists of laying down with your head at certain angles with respect to gravity. And switching between each position will cause fluid to go in just one direction hopefully taking any dislodged rocks along with it. It's the simplest, least invasive cure to any disease I've ever seen. And I am thrilled to say it is working for me. I'm like 3 days now no sudden overwhelming vertigo. So yay.

Unfortunately, the anxiety associated with thinking I'm gonna die at any moment is lingering. I've read websites that say your body just becomes sort of addicted to that adrenaline rush of anxiety. After a while instead of thoughts causing the chemical reaction, it's actually the chemical reaction that causes the thoughts. And you have to really concentrate to break that association and wean yourself from that addiction. I liken it to losing weight. It's really easy to sit around and get fat, but to get skinny again takes a concerted effort. So I've been really trying to remain.calm and do things that are relaxing at night like taking baths, reading, and going to bed early. I would have to say it gets better almost every day, but like tonight I drank a beer and was all dizzy in the head walking home and now I'm all worked up that the calcium carbonate rocks were just one problem in a sea of many. Gotta do my best to break that train of thought.

So the saga continues. I think through sleep, exercise, multivitamins, yoga and massages I will see the light on the other side. I will tell you this though, it gives me a whole new appreciation for psychiatric medicine. I would NOT want to live like this forever just gripped by fear for no reason. I've always been of the mindset that people should just get over it, but now having experienced the truly involuntary reactions in my brain, I know that it is not an option. But hopefully the more dizzy-free days I have the more relaxed I will become. But I think I will remain forever grateful if this does pass that I am able to live a normal life. Here's hopin.

But at least now if any of you experience sudden overwhelming vertigo you can laugh it off because now you know it's probably just rocks in your ears.

Now we enter a new chapter in my life: The crazy years. Let me see if I can preface this well enough. 5 months ago everything was grand. I flew to San Diego for a wedding, and while I was there I got very, very dizzy. This incessant dizziness was coupled with my heart skipping beats. I said nothing just wanting to get on a plane and come home. And when I did, I finally told Daniel how I had been feeling all day and he took me to the ER.

They took blood. They took XRays. They did an MRI and a catscan. They measured my blood pressure laying, sitting, standing. I subsequently went to a cardiologist and had a full workup stress test of my heart done. Everything comes back saying everything is normal. And yet, I'm still dizzy.

A while back the dizziness was accompanied with what I can only describe as a panic attack. I'd lay on the couch, somewhat spinning, heart racing, palms sweaty, adrenaline pumping. I went to the doctor and she prescribed me anti-anxiety medicine. But I was in the process of buying this condo. So everyone was like it's probably just stress from that. And as soon as everything was squared away and finalized, the anxiety went away so I brushed it off and carried on.

Well now it's back and worse than before. I have varying degrees of vertigo but it's pretty much a daily occurrence. I haven't been able to walk down a hallway free of fear of falling down or passing out now for 5 months. And the past few days I've been so worked up over it that I've skipped meals and I've been sleeping 12+ hours every day and never feeling the least bit rested. So I went BACK to the doctor. This time she made me an appointment with a neurologist for tomorrow morning and gave me a prescription to Xanax.

Now, I'm a bit of a Xanaxpert when it comes to abusing the drug. I've seen what it does to people who take it every hour on the hour. But I've never tried it myself. I think I will take half of one tonight just to try and guarantee a peaceful night. I've been told I will probably just pass out. But if I can just make it through a decent meal and get some rest, I think that will be the best for me.

If the neurologist finds nothing then I am truly crazy, hypochondriac and I need to be locked away for good. More news when I have it.

After a few trips to Lowe's and a late night of carpentry and electry, we finally finished the bar. All we really need to do is touch up the areas where the hinges of the closet doors were with a little white paint. I also need to buy a beer fridge, obviously. Then we are open for business. Praise me.

Have you seen this Colgate commercial? They're implying that if your gums bleed a little bit when you brush that it could be a sign of gingivitis and that brushing with Colgate will fix that. But what gets me every time is the chick who says "When I saw a little pink in the sink...." You cannot tell me I'm the only one who hears "two in the pink, one in the stink" and looks up expecting to see the shocker.

I have a new goal. Well, actually, it's an old goal, but I'm going to go for it now. I want to own everything as seen on TV. I'm talking everything. I'm going to begin with the Faraday Flashlight. It's a flashlight that charges itself based on the electromagnetic principles discovered by English chemist and physicist Michael Faraday. I'm really impressed they named it after him too. I also like that you have to shake it in a masturbatorial motion in order to get it to work.

How was Vegas? Oh, I'm glad you asked. I won about 700 bucks. Yay! Unfortunately, I lost about 850. It was pretty fun though. I hit a couple of big pots on the slots. I was just in such a mood for slots. You know how it is, when you get all slotty, put on your slottiest outfit. I got to see the Allistralian! She is back in the contiguous United States. We were in Vegas together for her last night and my first night. Good times. I need to call her now that she's in Dallas. The rest of my trip was resignation fodder, but the odds of that blossoming beyond an idle threat are small. I used to have ambition. Sigh.

I don't have to work tomorrow. Rawk! Oh, I almost forgot it was still Febrehabruarii and I have to comment on it. I didn't crack whilst in Sin City. It was a huuuuuge challenge, but no problemo for yours truly. I've been having a lot of sober fun with my fellow rehabruaers, Daniel and Brett Sabulous. Oh, and in closing, let me just save you all 8 bucks -- do NOT go see Date Movie. Laaaaaaaaaate.

I go to the sleep doctor tomorrow morning. From the research I've done, I have a feeling my life is going to consist of a little bit more of this than anything else. There is no mechanized cure for whatever it is that afflicts me; it's all chemical from this point on. I'm just crossing my fingers that I get a subscription to some kind of medication with a street value. *wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge* Y'get what I'm sayin? Open up shop, beeyotch.

I'm actually pretty nervous. I make a lot of jokes about not sleeping, mostly because it's my favorite defense mechanism. The last time that I went to the doctor and they told me that I should stop using the CPAP because it wasn't the cure and that we'd have to do more testing, I sat in the parking lot for a while and cried. It's not so much that I care that I have to do all of this. I mean, I've gone through enough geriatric treatment for arthritic knees that I'm not hung up on wanting to be normal. Let's be honest, normal is just a synonym for average. But the utter frustration of the whole experience did get to me. That coupled with being exhausted, tends to weaken your barriers. But, fear not, dear viewers, for my optimism knows no bounds. I just know that tomorrow I'm gonna get some good news. Ooh, I hope they subscribe me some vicadin; I love that shit.

Tonight I got to see Miles' fabulous new residence. We are all very excited about the time that will be spent there together. Congrats Miles! Even though Mr. Sabulous and I were the only two people you forgot to mention on your website! This weekend I'm going to Round Rock to attend Miss Lesbie Ann's housewarming party. If any of you are in the area, give me a call and you can come to the party. I RSVP'ed to the e-vite with +46 guests just to throw off the guest count. Also, if anyone from Dallas would like to go with me, I'd more than welcome the company. Thanks and gig this. Later bitches.

This was another fabulous weekend spent on the stoop. We all just kind of hung out, watched movies, and drank a whole bunch. Last night, around 4am, we had the bright idea to go to J's Hamburgers and Breakfast for a post-evening meal. Usually when I say something was a "bright idea" I mean it sarcastically, but in this sense, it truly was a delight. I had some sausage patties and a few too many cups of coffee. Daniel, Miles and I rode back (the 3 blocks) to our little stretch of Addison circle and were prepared to drink a little more and then turn in when we heard the most pathetic little, "Excuse me. Excuse me."

We turned to find this woman -- drunk and crying -- wandering the streets of Addison with no shoes on. She explained to us in between sobs how her friend and her had gotten into a fight over a man, and she was now locked out with no phone, no keys, and no shoes. We offered to let her in the building and walk her up to her friend's apartment (for moral support). When we got to the fourth floor, she wandered around aimlessly, sobbing some more, claiming she couldn't remember which apartment belonged to her friend. She sat there helplessly, and then in a fit of rage the likes of which I haven't seen since I shared a bedroom with my brother, she randomly decided that the door nearest to her was the one she was looking for and began beating it down screaming, "OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR YOU BITCH!" I didn't have the time to take a picture of her, so I illustrated it all for you:

Since we're such rock steady moral support for all vagrants and vagabonds north of 635, the second she hit that random stranger's door with all her might, we exited stage right. We took the elevator down to my floor and then sprinted back to my apartment. We slammed the door, laughed for a minute, and then watched the Magic Bullet infomercial. I hope that chick is okay and didn't have to sleep in the hallway. Actually, wait, no, I don't care.

What I did have my camera for was the sign that Miles, Lindy and I were looking at outside of Daniel's building while we waited for everyone to join us. Here's a quick snapshot of it. We were trying to decipher it's meaning. Lindy decided that it was a message to all handicapped people to "just get up." Just get up. I thought that was so funny ... after many, many longnecks. I just had to share it with you all.

I had too much fun once again within the confines of Addison Circle. I find less and less reason to go downtown these days. I hope my friends south of 635 know that they are always welcome to the stoop. Just FYI. Okay, that's all I have for today. Now let's all get out there, hustle and have a grood week. *slap on the butt*

I have read on the internet again and again and again that using a simple Brita water filter, one can turn ordinary squeezy vodka into a top shelf delight. Being the scientifically minded alcoholic that I am, I just had to try this for myself. Mr. K■■■■■■ and myself set out for the Goody Goody liquor store to get the required materials. I didn't want to simply recreate experiments that have already been done, and this may have affected my results. Most websites I've read involve good, okay, and shitty vodka. After filtering half of the shitty vodka, a blind taste test ensues. Ours was a little different. However, our hypothesis was the same:

Is this the equation to unlimited high-quality, low-cost booze? We decided that cape cods would be our vodka drink of choice. We could have taken straight vodka shots, but I wanted to add a hint of applicability. I'm not gonna say I never drink vodka straight and dance in my underwear to Neil Diamond, but I'm more inclined to have a cocktail. Our two vodkas were McCormick and Effen. I'd never had Effen before, but I just thought it was too much fun to ask for some "Effen vodka." The price differential was over 20 dollars.

The idea here has to do with the distilling and filtration process that vodka producers go through. Many of them use simple carbon filtrating to remove impurities from the vodka. The impurities are what can change the flavor of the alcohol, so if you go a few steps beyond the distillery and run it through the Brita a few times, you're going to be left with a Brita basin full of Greygoose. Seemed unlikely, but plausible. g*d, i'm like my own Myth Buster.

After filtering half of the McCormick twice, we poured ourselves a couple of drinks with the unfiltered variety. I measured out an ounce and a half, since we like our drinks with a little stank on em. The bite was quite intense. After the initial wince, it went down a little easier. I had a few friends over to join in on the taste test. It was good times. We decided that the unfiltered McCormick was most decidedly vile. But, what could twice through a filter accomplish?

On to the filtered vodka. Conclusion? Nasty. There was the same unpleasant taste we'd experienced before. We'd all had a few drinks at this point, and were worried that the intoxication level might taint the experience. Mr. K■■■■■■ was the first to be ready for an Effen vodka cape cod. On his first sip, he started laughing hysterically. I asked him repeatedly what was so fucking funny and all he could do was hand me his glass. I took a sip and joined him in a hearty laugh. It was sooo good. Unbelievably better. From that point on, we called the experiment over and all stuck to Effen for the rest of the night.

There are several X factors involved here. If any of you have tried this differently, with different vodka, straight, blind, or otherwise, let me know if it worked for you. Because for us, it was most definitely BUSTED. Life is too short to drink cheap liquor. Write that down.

But we all got drunk. And if you get drunk, then you have to ultimately call it a success. Hurray!

I did it. I fucking did it. I traversed the globe from Austin, TX to Cincinnati, OH without a single hitch. I even rented my first car and followed directions to my hotel. From my balcony, I overlook a White Castle. I might have to try that tomorrow for dinner and see if it sucks even worse than Krystals does. The lady at the front desk here is super cool. She gave me a smoking room with a balcony, and had a fridge sent up to my room so I could keep the beers cold that she gave me. Who knows if she's this nice to everyone, but it sure does feel special.

I know Brandon had requested a big long blog all about my weekend in Austin, but that may have to wait a couple of days, which in effect means I will never get around to it. It is now midnight and I have to meet some dude in the lobby at 7am to go to the UC campus. So far I'm having a good time. Thanks jebus there's free internet access in my room. The workout facilities leave a lot to be desired, but it should be sufficient. But anyway, my weekend in Austin was awesome. Congratufuckinglations to Dr. and Mrs. Jamey Dent. Bang up job getting married, kids. The wedding was cathlick, the reception was fun, the nap I took after the reception was a fucking blast. I went out with Brandon and some of his friends. It was so, so good to see Brandon, not, not so good to see his friends. But, we all managed to make it though the weekend being painfully polite to each other. There's a whole sordid inside story to why that I don't feel like getting into. Let's just say his new boyfriend has every reason to hate me.

Beer #2 is now open.

So getting to Cincinnati (or Sin-sin-naughty, as I hope to come to call it) wasn't too bad. Lester took me to the airport and let me park my car at her apartment, so thanks for that, L.Bizzle said D.Fizzle. I scheduled myself a 4 hour layover in Chicago hoping that one of my two friends would be able to meet up with me for a while. Turned out that neither of them could, which was totally cool, I knew that when I scheduled the layover without asking that I was rolling the dice. So I had plenty of time to sit and eat a leisurely (free) dinner and then play Spider Solitaire for 2 hours while listening to John Denver's greatest hits.

My flight from Chicago to Cincinnati wasn't on a big American Airlines plane. It was on a smaller sub-airline, I guess, called American Eagle. I don't know about you, but visions of a flight crew dressed in tattered jeans and board shorts did not instill much confidence. But we made it on one piece with only minor turbulence, and then I masterfully navigated my (upgraded) rental car to my pimpass hotel. The fucking end.

Got a busy couple of weeks ahead of me, but so far I'm rather liking this travel thing. Now, to close, an homage to Drew Carey ... OHIO!!!1!!

My oldest brother, Michael, who lives in Sacramento is expecting a baby. I think I might have told a lot of you that this one was going to be a boy. This information was based on a sonogram in early July that said there was a 95% chance that it would be a boy. Well, turns out that our little Seabiscuit underdog is actually my third niece. How fun is that? I didn't really have my heart set on it being a boy or a girl, so it just cracks me up that the initial guess was wrong.

Speaking of crack, former Dallas Cowboys goalie and outfielder, Michael Irvin, was working out at my gym today. We happen to be there simultaneously on occasion. He works out while two guys stand beside him screaming encouragement. It's pretty ridiculous. They yell things like, "THROW IT UP! THROW IT UP!" and it makes me want to throw it up.

He asked me for my autograph, but I didn't have a pen.

I got my much desired referral to the sleep clinic, but now I have to go to a consultation with the sleep clinic doctors. That is tomorrow morning. I had to fill out a 13 page questionnaire regarding my sleep habits and symptoms. 2 of those pages were supposed to be filled out by someone who has regularly observed you sleeping. It's been a long, long time since I've had someone who regularly observed me sleeping, so I had to call 27. I actually learned a lot about my little problem when I asked him to 'check all that apply' given a list of symptoms. He said that I have severe problems with:
light snoring, loud snoring, choking, pause in breathing, gasping for air, twitching or kicking of legs, sitting up in bed not awake, getting out of bed not awake, becoming very rigid and/or shaking

That's kind of scary. I really didn't realize it was all that bad. People die from this shit. Wouldn't it be totally funny if I suffocated from sleep apnea the day before I went to the sleep clinic. That would make a great blog. If that happens, somebody take up the reins.

How come we spell it c-o-n-v-e-r-s-a-t-i-o-n but abbreviate it 'convo'? Shouldn't it be 'conver'?

One last note. Owen mentioned this to me first a while ago but it was down, now it's back up. Everyone, and I mean everyone, go to http://earth.google.com and download Google Earth IMMEDIATELY. It is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. Especially download it on your work computer because it is amusing for hours and hours and hours.

Every now and then on SideshoViD.com, I bring you pressing social issues and damning political commentary. This is one of those times. I bring you another monumental your-opinion-doesn't-really-matter-all-that-much-but-I'll-ask-it-anyway call to action. There is one thing that is driving me crazy about growing my hair out. It's not the tangles, the frizz, or the constant ironing -- it's the monotony. I am accustomed to radically changing my hair on a nearly daily basis. There was a time not to long ago when I would wake up with red hair, go to class with blue, and fall asleep with green. I can no longer make these drastic changes. And changing which side of my head I part on just isn't getting me off like it used to.

So I bring you the question: to flip or not to flip. It's my new innovation for my hair. Instead of curling everything under in a tidy package, I've started allowing the natural flow of my hair to come through by flipping the left side out. Sometimes drastically. So I want to know what the general public opinion is. 27 used to flip his hair just for me, since he generally hated to do so, into a style I dubbed the "Carol Brady." But I'm not doing both sides, just one. I think it creates a nice movement that has been lacking as of late. If you like the flip, let me know. If not, burn in hell. As always, I'll entertain your opinions, as long as your opinions entertain me.

In other news, my super secret social project that I've cleverly named "The Addison Circle" is slowly but surely coming along. This is where I am going to create my own social circle comprised entirely of people who live north of 635. Tonight I had drinks with Mr. K■■■■■■ and Matt L■■■■■, both of whom live just a stone's throw away from me in Addison Circle. Soon, soon, it will turn from a triangle, to a square, to a pentagon, to a hexagon, to a heptagon, to an octagon, to a nonagon, to a decagon ... and I'm tired of this game, continue on for me in comments if you like ... and eventually approach a circle.

My new roommate, Andy, moved in on Saturday. It's only been a few days, but it's been pretty fun having a roommate again. There are pros and cons to both styles of living, naturally, but its nice to have someone to watch TV with, someone to motivate you to eat less and workout more, and someone who goes to bed at a decent hour, so I do also. Andy is a coworker of mine who got hired at the same time as me but works in Houston. He's here for about 10 weeks for training, but I'll be in Europe for the middle three of those weeks, so it's really just like 3 and 3.

He's a personal trainer in his free time, so he took me to 24 Hour Fitness these past two days to give me a few work out hints. It was really informative, but g*d, I hated pretending that I was going to sign up for a membership, so I'm not going anymore. I gave them a fake number and the fucking guy tried to call me today to tell me about some great deals, so I was totally busted when we walked in. I continued lying through my teeth about it being a real number. I felt so much like Thommi.

I am really trying to lose 10 pounds before I go to Sweden. That is totally doable, according to my live-in trainer, but I think it involves not being a gluttonous pig. Maybe I should just learn to love myself the way I am, since I simultaneously find myself entirely too skinny and entirely too fat. But it doesn't really fucking matter when I wrap myself up in my brand new wardrobe. I went on a bit of a spree this weekend with my personal shopping assistant, Mr. Sean W■■■■. A cool grand later, I have some kickass new clothes to wear to the office at headquarters. I also got this jacket that makes me weak in the knees ... from Source Paris, of course. You wish you had this jacket.

I feel like I had a lot more to say before I started. A phone call from JennyC■■■ and a phone call from 27 confirmed the fact that I have nothing to say. Both of them abruptly ended our conversations when I sat silently with the phone to my ear. I promise to fill you all in when I have something to say.

I spent the better part of today in the bowels of the ■■■ Airport. I wish you all could have heard my inner monologue as I walked around the caverns. I am flabbergasted that my life's path has led me to this. I have to go back tomorrow and possibly Wednesday. If this goes on beyond Wednesday, I will be looking for a new job. It is completely ridiculous to send me to places like this. They seem to assume I have some massive background experience with hands-on work, probably because everyone else I work with has at least 15 years of experience as building engineers and shit. I program. I like computers. The most voltage I ever saw in college was 5 volts. Now they're handing me a hard hat, a screw driver, and shoving me into 480 volt transformers and expecting me to know what to do.

How many times do I have to fucking repeat this, people? Electrical engineers ARE NOT ELECTRICIANS.

Some of it was kind of neat, I have to admit. I would love to see a show about the HVAC system on the Discovery Channel. They have one central plant that handles the cooling for the entire airport. You can't imagine how big these chillers are. Chillers make cold water and then pump it around to cool down the air that blows into the offices and terminals and stuff. There were at least 4 of them, maybe more, and each one was about as big as an airplane. Then there are cooling towers that use evaporation to cool down water. Each one of these was a round tower about the diameter of a basketball court length-wise. They had huge fans blowing air through the water, and we walked down to the sump, which was a little more like Niagara Falls than an air conditioner. At least in my experience ... which is NONE.

I'm not looking forward to tomorrow but I'm trying to keep a positive attitude. I'm not shaving today or tomorrow and I dropped by Target to get a shirt for work tomorrow. Hopefully I'll at least mildly look the part. My boss always pulls me aside when we're on site and explains the most BASIC concepts of HVAC to me in front of everyone else on the site. I don't think he's consciously trying to destroy any credibility I might have, but if he were, this is how he would do it. I know I've only worked there six months, but come on, I have managed to retain the slightest bit of information in that time.

If any of you know of any positions open in your offices ... jobs where you don't have to put your physical well being on the line ... please let me know about them. Sorry to be a downer, but this kind of shit just really rubs me the wrong way. Hopefully this will all be over soon and I can get back to sleeping at my desk. Ugh.

I apologize for my recent absence from the internet, but I assure you, I have been completely powerless. That is to say that my power cord still does not fit in my computer. For some reason, when I got home from work today (at 3:30 -- RAWK) the charge light was on and I was fully charged. I haven't even touched the thing all weekend, so that was weird, but welcome. I'm going to have to take the ol' porn player to Best Buy and have them ship it off to their service department. Hopefully they can fix it and hopefully its under warranty.

I finally went to a yoga school yesterday. I found this Addison Yoga place right by my apartment. They do hot yoga. Hot yoga is just like regular yoga, but its hot. Like really hot. They keep the room at about 100 degrees the entire time. I sweat my ass off. But I really, really liked it. It's only 15 bucks per class, or 12 if you buy a pass. I will probably do this at least once a weekend. I've already drummed up some interest from Lil Jarrod to join me. I think everyone should be doing this, it was so choice.

Today marks the first day of my 5-a-week workout schedule. I'd been going at least 4 times a week, sometimes more, up until the holidays and then I totally fell off. But my friend Greg from New York, he's kind of weird, and he signed up at my gym. So now I have a workout buddy. We both made it perfectly clear that we didn't want to work out together, though. We just want to carpool to the gym in order to motivate each other to stick with it. This is gonna be so great. The next time I show myself in public, I'm gonna be so hot. And by 'hot' I mean that my biceps are gonna be as big as my beer gut.

I'm not sure when I'll be able to address you all again. Thanks for your patience while we struggle through this predicament together. I am gonna send my computer off on Saturday so if I happen to wake up fully charged, I'll update before I let it go. Otherwise, I'll just have to scrounge around and see whose computer I can use. I really wanted to be able to keep you all up to date on my Frehabruary experiment. (I just now came up with that name, I kinda like it.) It's coming up so fast. I can't wait. Oh, and all my expenses got sorted out including the rat bastards at the Velvet Hookah. The owner called and apologized and offered me free drinks. Anyone wanna go?

Oh, and Raul, you should call me since you're impossible to get a hold of. I am still fully expecting you to come up the last weekend in January for my alcoholic swansong. The rest of you, refrain from calling, I get so annoyed when my phone rings. Thaaaaanks.

What a week. What a weekend. What a time to be alive! This weekend I made the trek to College Station once again to celebrate Thanksgiving as well as Allison's graduation and bon voyage as she prepares to move to Australia. On the way down, I called Brandon to see how he was doing and he convinced me to swing through Austin and pick him up. That was a fuck load of driving in one weekend (with the traffic jams, I was in the car for 12.5 total hours this weekend). But, it was worth it to get to hang out with Brandon.

We arrived in CS on Friday around 10 and got ready to go out to Halo. Good times, good times. I had a completely empty stomach so I was trying to take it easy, which eventually didn't happen, but I did behave for an uncharacteristically long time. The next day we joined Allison as soon as the hangovers subsided and went to buy last minute supplies and a keg. I dropped even more money this weekend. Shit. Finances are in a dire situation. Dire meaning that I can't buy new jeans tomorrow if I want everyone to have a X-mas present, not dire I can't pay the rent. Even so, my lifestyle is compromised.

The party was a raging success, if I don't mind saying. We did a Trash Can Grab. This was new to me. We had a trash can full of ice and water and everyone brought a little something to throw into the trash can. Then you had to reach into the black abyss and drink whatever random alcohol you pulled out. At first, I thought our alcohol supply, which involved a plethora of wine from dinner, a keg, and the trashcan, was overkill, but we ended up drinking all of it. Thank you, thank you, thank you to Allison for being a most wonderful host, and thanks again to Dustin and Trey for putting me up for the weekend.

In other news HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY, #27!!!!1! Our little David27 is growing up, chronologically at least. This past Saturday, Dec. 11 was his 20th birthday. He's not a teenager any more. Congrats on surviving two decades. Mwah!

This week I have a Secret Santa party at Ryan S■■■'s and a ■■■■■ ■■■■■ office party with Ryan S■■■. Then I'm not doing anything. Nor am I ever going out of town again. If you ever want to see me again you'll have to come to Addison.

I hope I don't piss any one off with this next comment, but I can't help but think about everyone taking finals right now... and how stressed out they must be, and how tired, and overworked, and sick of it, and just wanting to be done. And then I kick back, stretch out, open another beer, and sigh audibly. It is so nice to not be in school. I can't believe it's been six months since graduation. Time sure flies when you're skipping work. Peace out, sluts!

Oh, joy! It's my favorite holy day once again! The day our lord and saviour, the turkey, willingly gave his life so we might enjoy eternal dressings. "Take this drumstick and eat it, for this is my body, gobble, gobble." The day Christopher Columbus killed all the Native Americans. He killed them all, great and small, so he could put their heads up on his wall. It was the day Chris Columbus killed all the Indians.

Now that we're finished with the history of Thanksgiving, I want to take a moment to discuss with all of you, the meaning of Thanksgiving. It's like I always say, "Tis better to thanksgive than to thanksreceive." Let's all try to keep that in mind this year. And I know, I know, the food is a big part of it. Who doesn't like to sit down at a table with a 24 pound roasted bird carcass, mashed potatoes made with heavy cream and butter and garlic, green bean casserole made with soup from the can (because any attempt to gourmet that up and no one will eat it), mac n cheese made from scratch, cranberry sauce nobody will touch but it has to be on the table anyway, french bread to sop up the leftover gravy made from stock, candied yams and pumpkin pies and AHHHHH I'm overstimulated. But with all of this, I still must contest that Thanksgiving is not just about the food.

It's about the booze.

The red wines, the white wines, the boxed wines in between. The smooth burn of a single malt scotch as it gives your stomach a welcome hug. The brandy soaked peaches. The cases upon cases of beer in the fridge "just in case" even though you know no one's leaving til they're gone. And this year, I made red roosters, a thing I saw Emeril do. Cranberry juice and orange juice concentrate and a whole lot of vodka, into a large pan and into the freezer. I kicked it up a notch by using raspberry vodka. I hope everybody likes it. BAM!

I am going to have a very H■■■■■■ Thanksgiving this year by spending it with my dear friend Allison and her parents (Krazy K and Big D) and the rest of her family. Should be a riot. I'm so excited I can barely sit still. I hope all of you have the most wonderful holiday with friends and family (because they're a part of the day too). Take a moment to think about this: for what are you most grateful this year? I know mine -- Johnny Walker Black.

Happy Thanksgiving to all and to all a good buzz!

Today is the American Cancer Society's National SmokeOut. The idea is that everyone in the world quits smoking at the same time. Since that will never, ever happen, they say that if you want to participate you can just quit for a day. I've decided to do that. It has nothing to do with the fact that I smoked half a pack last night over multiple glasses of wine and this morning I am completely hungover. No, it has to do with my love for my body and the environment.

While I was at www.cancer.org I was looking around at some of their anti-smoking campaigns and how they have evolved over the years. This one was my favorite. Look, people, the lamer you make your anti-smoking campaigns, the cooler and more counter-culture smoking becomes. Why do you think Phillip Morris is so willing to waste tons of money on trying to keep children from smoking? Because a 1980's inspired duck who says that 'tobacco is whacko' encourages kids to smoke. If you want to get people to quit, the solution is simple ... pass more legislation! Duh. Don't even get me started on the degradation of capitalism that is forcing businesses to ban smoking in public places. We'll discuss that in a different blog. Moral of the story is DON'T SMOKE (on November 18th, 2004).

Speaking of November 18th, not sure how many of you are remembering, but it was exactly 5 years ago today that the Aggie Bonfire collapsed. I was a freshman in college and had been worked into a frenzy over the anticipation of Bonfire since before I'd ever set foot on campus. We'd spent the night playing 3-Man in my room so everyone was too drunk and asleep at 3am when the crew chiefs came through the dorm pounding on doors to get people to help them pick up fallen logs off of the bodies of those trapped underneath. The next morning we were a little bewildered as we turned on the channel that had a 24 hour image of Bonfire and saw it on the ground. Then when I went out to the Polo Fields and realized that every white sheet draped over the logs was to hide a dead body, the enormity of what happened hit me. It still gets to me today ... It's getting to me right now as I type this.

We felt so helpless sitting there staring at the cranes. People walked around handing out drinks, sandwiches, sweatshirts, and anything else anyone needed since some people had stayed out there for days at a time. We tried to go give blood but every blood bank had lines wrapped around the block of people willing to wait. I think we set the Brazos Valley on blood for the next decade. It certainly took some air out of the game. Bonfire represented our burning desire to beat the hell out of t.u. but that didn't seem so important. We weren't even sure if we were supposed to enjoy the game.

That night instead of a yell practice we had a candle light vigil. When it was time to go into the stadium everyone took their candles with them, so instead of the image of lighters being held up that we were accustomed to, this is what we saw. I can't say it was a fun time to be an Aggie, but I'm glad I was a part of it so I could understand. That was the turning point for on-campus culture, and I was lucky to have experienced the way it used to be before all of that went away. Those of you in classes higher than 2003 just can't imagine what it was like.

That game was the greatest game that has ever been played. Everyone in the crowd, Aggies and longhorns, was so emotionally invested. We got the much needed win, needed emotionally, by the 12th Man completely disorienting their freshman quarterback. We all felt like we'd helped. But the best part was halftime. Normally we all sit down when the opposing band plays (the only time through the game that we sit). But at this game, the Texas band came out onto the field, played Amazing Grace, lowered their school's flags and raise an A&M flag. I never thought I would see the day when 80,000 Aggies would stand and whoop while the t.u. band played. It was an awesome moment, many tears were shed, and I am so grateful I got to be a part of it.

I don't really talk about Bonfire very much, because it still upsets me. But I thought it would be okay to share some memories on the anniversary of the fall. If you want, you can post a comment with some of your memories. It's important to remember.

I have about a thousand things I want to talk about, we'll see how many of them stick in my memory by the time I really get into blogging mode. First off, I spent the weekend chillin in the OC ... the OKC, that is. I actually had a good time. On Saturday and Sunday, my impregnito sister and I painted her nursery. Pink on the walls, green on the ceiling. It was so, so cute. Now I'm rarin' to paint my apartment. Who wants to help? Prior to this, on Friday night, we went bowling.

I was bowling in Oklahoma on a Friday night.

It ended up being really fun though. My sister's husband made the comment, "There's no way I'm going to lose to my pregnant wife and a gay guy." So I annihilated him. He didn't know that I spent the better part of high school bowling obsessively, and then transferred that hobby to college with Kevin. By the end of the night, he had admitted defeat and encouraged me to join a gay bowling league, because I would be "the man" there. I'm not sure what the difference is between a gay bowling league and a bowling league. I guess we would use pink balls?

Speaking of Kevin, he's not going to be able to join me in College Station this weekend. What a fucking bummer. I was so stoked. I mean, I still am because I get to see Burns take longer than 65 seconds to chug a pitcher of beer and get shitcanned with the whole crew, but still... everyone knew I was just going to see Kevin. I'm actually going to drive down on Saturday morning, and give Allison a ride back.

Speaking of Allison, we are planning a Thanksgiving to end all Thanksgivings. The date we decided on is December 11th. The location: Allison's house in College Station. I am planning a detailed blog about it, but had too much to say to devote this entry to that. Look for details in the future, but for g*d's sake clear your fucking calendars. This is going to the put the last one to shame!

And finally, my new hobby is listening to NPR (National Public Radio). I feel like I'm already smarter for doing this. Many thanks to my brother who originally suggested it to me when I told him how annoyed I was with radio DJs and commercials. Today they were talking about Arnold Schwarzenegger possibly running for president. Of course, he's not a natural born citizen, so the constitution would have to be amended. We all know Bush has no problem amending it. They made a good argument that someone who has been in the country for 20+ years, obtained citizenship, understands the political system, and has obtained public office should be allowed to run for president. And Arnold was talking about how everything is more global these days so it makes sense. And I agree. Hell, at least he speaks two languages ... Bush doesn't even speak one.

Even though Arnie is a Republickin, he is not conservative on issues that educated people aren't conservative on -- stem cell research, gay marriage, abortion, to name a few. Conservative X-tian Republickins would fuckin hate him. But maybe there's enough political momentum behind the Republickins to get him in the White House. To me, this would present a win/win situation in 4 years. Either someone that agrees with me on issues I find important would be elected, or the Democratic party would win, and maybe even put Hillary in the White House, which would rawk. People who argue against this amendment say that the Constitution shouldn't be viewed as a totally maleable document, and certainly should never be amended with a certain individual in mind. One guy said go ahead and make the amendment but say that it doesn't take effect for 20 years. He makes a good point. Just thought I'd give my readers something to discuss at their next cocktail party.

Items of interest, just to recap: OKC was fun, I kick ass at bowling, I need help painting my apartment, College Station this Saturday, Thanksgiving December 11, listen to NPR and tell me what you think about the President-inator (lame). Peace out, sluts!

Big news, kids. I am officially an independently functioning member of society. This little bird has flexed his wings and gone out on his own. Granted, everything in my apartment was donated by my parents, but we'll ignore that fact from here on out. I will show you pictures of my apartment as soon as it is in a presentable condition. I moved in on Sunday instead of Saturday because it was raining too hard. Not to say it didn't rain all day Sunday, but we got it done. There's still a few things back in Plano that I need to go get, but there's no rush there.

In other news, I haven't had a haircut in many, many months, nor have I shaved in many, many weeks. Yes, I have a beard ... and this time, her name isn't Allison. Pa-zzzing! I'm not really sure how I feel about the look, but I'm going with it. I had originally dedicated myself to no haircuts before 2005, but that may have changed. Marc and I went over to his friend Chad's apartment last night. Chad and his friendgirl work at Toni and Guy and were watching videos about how to give fucking badass haircuts. I can maybe get a really badass free haircut. That's what I'm planning on doing. I mean like woah, badass haircut.

On the horizon is lots of tidying up around the apartment. I might have a housewarming get together sometime in late November. Nobody from College Station will attend, so none of you are invited. Unless you want to come, then you are. Something more anecdotal to follow. Peace out.

I certainly couldn't go a week without blogging. I haven't done that in ages. Time's a little tight right now because it's midnight and I'm gonna be a wreck at work tomorrow. Big news! I worked 8 hours today. Like actually produced real programming that will be used in a real project for 8 hours. And I'm gonna do it again tomorrow. Things are looking up. So the job, while I still go on the public records as hating it, is looking up. My hair gets longer every day, it's quite shaggy. And I've decided to stop shaving yet again. If I ever hit puberty and the facial hair fills in, I'll let you all see it. My workout routine is going well. I am starting to regain my flexibility, and it feels so good to work out after work. I just need to find some goggles so I can start swimming again.

Went to College Station this weekend. It was pretty fun. Ryan H■■■■ drove and we went and watched Daniel dunk his ring (120 seconds). We "stayed" at Todd's even though I neglected to sleep there either night. We went to Margarita Rocks with Allison, Lindsay, her underage sisters, AllieD, Jennifer, and another pretty girl whose name escapes me. Then we went to a little keg get-together out in the country and Tommy showed up. I shocked Fucking Frank with my lighter. Everyone finally realized why I think it's so funny. From there we hit Northgate. Ran into Roper Joe, that was a blast from the past. Saw Brian and Justin. Owen walked over from campus and Keith was a horrible influence on me. Owen and I got split from the group and decided to take CARPOOL home but it was taking too fucking long so I woke up Marshall and made him take Owen home and then slept in his bed. I'm trying to drop every name possible. If I forgot you, leave a sassy comment and I'll insert you into the list and pretend like you were always there. It will be hilarious.

The next day I was hungover like the entire day. It sucked, but was pretty expected. Lunch with AllieD, back to sleep on Todd's couch the rest of the day. I woke up at 1:30am and had Dustin come pick me up and drank over at his place with Raul. Spent the night on the ground accidentally. Came home the next day. I breezed over a lot of details, obviously, but I had a really great time. Thanks for driving, Ryan!

Whenever I meet someone new, or get someone's screen name for the first time, I always ammend it with a buddy comment. I'm not sure if anyone else uses these but they're a g*dsend to me. I put people's names, jobs, home towns, physical descriptions ... anything I might want to know, or pretend I've remembered later. You should all be using them. Anyway, sometimes the descriptions of someone I've met for the first time, and later become close friends with, are a tad outdated. They tend to be on the insulting side from time to time, so I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings by posting names, but one of them that I just edited the other day said, "that impudent little imp." If you want to know if you have a buddy comment, hit me up with an IM.

And in final news, HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY TO TOPHER (known affectionately by some as Yale Boy). I meant to call him at midnight, but then I realized that I don't understand time zones, so I'd better just call him when he gets out of class tomorrow. But this is my proof that I've been thinking about him and did not forget. (And no, I didn't use a buddy comment to remember.) I love you, kid, have a wonderful birthday, a kick@ss summer, and stay cool.

Last night was another party on the roof of the Block in Uptown. All of my go-to guys had other engagements for the evening so I thought I might be forced to show up to the party alone. I would have called someone there and had them meet me downstairs to maintain the appearance that I have friends, but still, I didn't want to put up with that. Lil Jarrod to the rescue! He IMed me asking if I was going to the party and I invited him to go with me. He had his friend Lil Josh with him, so they drove over to my house and then we carpooled to the party.

This is a picture of Lil Jarrod and me at Brian's party a couple weeks ago. He was drinking champagne from the bottle and I was trying to teach him not to by demonstrating how trashy it looked. But then he started fighting back just as Ryan S■■■, unofficial photographer of every social event in the city, popped up. I love this picture and wanted to share with you. The party last night was pretty off the heezy. There were probably about 300 people there and the guy hired bartenders and everything. Although, I would have to say that it took twice as many people as ULDE:IYDKYDG to have half the fun. I'm not biased or anything, though. The cops came to the party or something because Brian insisted we all go downstairs to another apartment to hide. I'm not really sure what that was all about, but we had a grand time down in Brandon's apartment. Laughed a lot there. I passed around Lil Jarrod's phone number and had everyone on the porch texting him with lewd messages while he sat on the couch 5 feet away. It was really funny ... for me. I had such a good time with Lil Jarrod ... it was the first time we'd hung out together mutually sober for any period of time. Will have to do it again post haste.

I got to see Kyle from College Station last night. He was at the party. That was fun. He might be moving to Dallas. That would be awesome. He's also avidly following my pi progress, which is always fun. I also got to meet Myke with a 'y'. I think I'll change the spelling of my name from David to Deighvyd. Myke was cool. He doesn't button his shirt and he doesn't care. Also got a chance to talk to Miles who has his own website. You can click his name there if you want to see it. It's no SideshoViD.com but I respect anybody with their own domain. Also talked to Kevin last night, but that's a story of it's own uhhHUH-HUH-HU-HUHUHUUH.

Lil Jarrod confirmed my suspicions last night that my blogs are becoming obnoxiously long. Maybe I should update more often so I don't have so damn much to say. I'm sure all of you just skim, which would explain why I never get any comments. Oh well.

BIG NEWS!!!1!!! I got an apartment! I move in October 9th. Pictures, floor plans, details, etc coming soon.

This weekend I made yet another trip to beautiful College Station, Texas. There were good and bad things about my little vacation. Instead of dividing them into two categories I thought I would alternate between one good thing and then one bad thing to keep things all evened out. Starting with the good, naturally.

I got to leave work at 2:30 on Thursday because I had finished everything for the week, which means I got to take a Friday off for free! When I got to College Station, Marshall didn't want to go out and refused to even attempt to have fun. But AllieD was rarin' to go so we got all sloshed and had a rip roaring good time. The next morning I was completely hungover. So Allison and I went to see Napoleon Dynamite and it was really funny. That night I was ready to go crazy at the bar but got completely stood up by Marshall. Allison came to the rescue after I stopped by a party of hers and took her out to Halo. It was completely dead there. 27 showed up. I rounded out the evening back at the party fairly bored and not drunk enough. The next day I got see meet up and go out to lunch with Tommy. I was supposed to go see his new loft downtown when he got off work at 5, but despite knowing that he was home he refused to answer the phone and let me up and I haven't talked to him since. But he lives next door to a bar, so I spent that time drinking beer and talking to the hippies at Revolutions. I wanted to make a shirt like the one that Napoleon wore in the movie, but I ultimately couldn't find the right supplies. So I went back to Marshall's and took a nap. He never called me after he got off work, despite the fact that I put gas in his car that had been sitting empty on the side of the road for a couple of days. I had plans of my own, though, since Brian (Allison's fab friend) and his roommate James were having a party. I was still pretty hungover from my previous days' binging so I really couldn't drink a lot. And the highlight of the weekend, Chris came to the party.

End the pattern. Did everyone notice it alternated good and bad? (I color coded it after the fact.) I didn't even have to try, because the good and bad was chronological it turns out. But yeah, seeing Chris was really good. I miss that kid so much. It's a lot easier to forget that when I haven't seen him in 6 months, but seeing him again brings that all back. It was a good time though. Maybe I'll see him again in 7 years when he graduates from grad school. Raul and Rob accompanied us to the party. That's always a good time. Brian and James have the coolest friends. It was an excellent party. Other highlights included seeing Justin M■■■ and Charlie at Halo, 27s friend being delightfully nice, and Texas Toothpicks. Other lowlights included not seeing Stino, 27s other friend being dreadfully rude, and Marshall leaving for "lunch" while I was still in bed on Sunday and then never ever coming home. I don't think I'll be going back to College Station for a while ... not without reason.

Tonight I went swimming. It felt so good. I realized I haven't been out of breath or felt my muscles burn in months! I felt just like Michael Phelps. Oh great, now everyone googling for pics of the speedo-clad Phelps are going to end up here. It probably won't help that I'm about to say gold medal Athens 2004 Olympics. (After typing this, I've decided to make tricking googlers into coming to my site a permanent feature on my site.)

Last business to discuss. September 3rd: ULDE:IYDKYDG. Ryan S■■■, Brent W■■■■, and I are throwing a party to celebrate a day of Labor Pains. That stands for Uptown Labor Day Extravaganza: If You Don't Know, You Don't Go. If you would like to come, leave a comment, and IM or an email giving me your email address and I'll make sure you get on the e-vite list. And with all the e-vite list theft going on around town, you'll probably be invited to several subsequent Dallas parties as well. I'm expecting some College Station folk to attend. Also, October 2nd: Stephen Lynch and Mitch Hedberg, the two funniest men alive, performing together at the Paramount in Austin. I'm buying tickets this Saturday so if you would like to go, let me know. Tickets are $35.

I hope you all have an alternatingly good and bad time this week. And remember ... if you don't know .. you don't go!

Today was a productive day. I probably haven't mentioned my co-worker, Trey, in my blog as much as I have in real life. Trey is awesome. He's an old rednek with no formal education who is a jack of all trades. He's helping to train me at work. He talks ... really ... ... ... slow. It's awesome. He also happens to have pi memorized to 1250 digits. Today I made an Excel spreadsheet that would check him 10 digits at a time, and I sat and watched him successfully enter 500 digits in a row before I finally decided that I really wanted to go home. I told him I would memorize it out farther than him ... I'm up to 32 digits now. Don't believe me? 3.14159265358979323846264338327950, bitches. If you would like to race me on memorizing it, download my pi Excel sheet here.

This weekend was too much fun. Friday, I went on my lunch break at work ... and then decided that I really didn't want to go back. So at 1:00, I hit the road for College Station. Technically when my boss said, "Leave whenever you need to," I think he meant anywhere from 4:00 to 4:30. But you just can't say something like that to me and not expect me to take full advantage of it. I got into College Station around 4:00 and went straight to Hobby Lobby to visit Marshall while he worked. After a little bit of that I met up with Allison, her friend Brian (who is fab squared), and JonS■■■ for some evening cocktails. I picked up the tab because I have money and I spend it recklessly.

Halo on a Friday night, man I miss that. They were having some wicked drink specials, so after the nine of us drinking on my tab finished up, the total was only $50. Allison brought her friend Brian from earlier in the evening, and he in turn brought his friend James, who tried to open a tab behind my back, but I got it transfered to me. JonS■■■ came against his wishes because I promised him free drinks. Marshall and I got buck wild. Raul made a grand appearance, and Justin made his presence known. We definitely got our 50 bucks worth, drinking and dancing the night away. But you know me, my faithful Sidesho-Viewers. That's just not reckless enough for me. So I drunkenly vowed that on Saturday night, I would have a $200 bar tab. Everyone thought I was kidding ....

The next night when we went out, Marshall jokingly referred to my 200 dollar proclamation, to which I replied, "Let's do it." More drinking, more fun. Despite our best efforts, the total came to $85. In my defense, James was bartending, and being the good friend he is, he told me that he had "hooked me up BIG TIME." So jebus knows how much we actually managed to spend. It was way too much fun though. After the bar, Dick was having some people over to go swimming at his apartment. Raul and I swung by Marshalls for the half bottle of raspberry vodka I had purchased the day before and managed to drink that while wading in our underwear until 4am. It was crazy, crazy drunken fun. The kind of fun business professional people do not have. I can't wait to do it again soon.

Speaking of segues, I think I will do it again soon. I got a call from Chris, the boy who goes to Yale, for those of you who are bad with names. He was in Plano last night and he got to come by my house and then I gave him the full Plano experience by going to chit chat outside Starbucks with overpriced coffee and chain smoking. He is in CS through August and I will most certainly come back sooner than planned to visit him again before he whisks away back to the east coast. It was really good to get to see him and have a chance to sit down and talk about everything that's gone on in about the last seven months. Another reason I need to get back to CS in the near future is that I really need a haircut. I'm not backing out on my decision to never cut my hair again, but my last hair cut by the fat bitch at Toni & Guy was so bad that it's just not growing out right. So I'm going to get Hannah to fix it for the long haul.

The final piece of news is that I got to swing by Humble on Saturday from about 1:00 to 7:00. I went to see my 2 week old niece, Kaylyn. That was too much fun. She was sooo small and so cute. I got her some socks, a blanket and some shoes. I told you all how much I love shoes on babies, right? G*d, that cracks me up. They are too big for her at the moment, but I can't wait until she grows into them. She was so funny. She doesn't really have control of her arms or legs yet. She kind of flails around without rhyme or reason any time she gets upset. So when she yawns and her pacifier (otherwise known by its brand name, Soothie) falls out of her mouth, it is a challenge to get it back in her mouth before the screaming starts. Every time you get close, she knocks you out of the way. So my brother does this thing where he grabs her tiny hands and kind of holds them to her chest and says, "Let's get organized!" It was way too funny. Visiting Kaylyn will definitely have to be a priority in the months and years to come. I was thinking about going out of town for my 3 day weekend over Labor Day, but Stephen, Rachel and Kaylyn are coming to Dallas to visit, so I'm modoubly staying for that. Plus, I think Ryan S■■■ is having a party, so all you College Station boys should come up for that. Start making plans.

This blog is ridiculously long, but I had a lot to say, so I hope you enjoyed reading it. My call to action is for each of you to post your thoughts and experiences with pi, big bar tabs, and tiny babies. Until then, peace, my friends. And good night.

The first few weeks of work, I was really careful about not drinking coffee in the morning in an effort to avoid a caffeine dependency. That is completely out the window now. When I get to work, I am a complete wreck. I'm usually so tired that just keeping my eyes open gives me a headache. I usually try to just zone out for about an hour, and then my gal pal, Yue, and I go get coffee. Immediately after taking my first sip, I feel so much better. By the time I am done with the whole mug, I feel right as rain.

Of course, this high only lasts about an hour, so by the time 10:00 rolls around, I am crashing once again. At first I tried to get up and walk around, maybe endulge myself in a morning cigarette to get the ol' heart rate up (yes, smoking is my cardiovascular workout). But ultimately, I've found it works better to just take a quick cat nap. Napping at work has its own tricky requirements ... namely, not getting caught. That is SO unprofessional. I think I've pretty much mastered it, though, which is why I feel qualified to teach this course.

The first thing I figured out is that you MUST turn off your screen saver. There's no bigger give-away than staring at your idle screen. Most people are just going to be cruising by your cube and not even give you half a glance, so as long as something is open on your screen, you're fine. I like to use an Excel spreadsheet, cause its hard to read and looks busy. The other key is to nonchalantly block the direct line of sight anyone might have of your closed eyes. I like to rest my head on my hand, and cover up the exposed side of my face. I also try to sit like this whenever I am not sleeping, so it won't establish any discernable patterns. I also always, always rest my other hand on the mouse. Not only does this keep up the appearance of work, but if someone happens to walk in, you don't have to move a muscle to go from sleep to clicking around on the screen. Very smooth transition.

The last hurdle I couldn't figure out how to overcome was what happens when you have a visitor. It's easy enough to satisfy the passers-by who could give a shit less what I was doing to begin with. But a few times, my friends would walk into my cube and scare the shit out of me. And it is so obvious that you dozed off when someone says something and you jump. But today, I solved the problem. There you have it, folks. A picture is worth all thousand of those lousy words I just purged onto the screen. HEADPHONES! Headphones were the missing key. I put on headphones, but do not listen to music. But everyone thinks I am. Most of the time I will hear them walk in and there is no problem. However, if I've really gone into REM, it is completely justifiable that I didn't hear them come in, because I'm obviously blasting my ears with with something more palatable than the golden oldies coming in over the speakers. Then they generally bang on something, say my name really loud, or touch me on the shoulder ... all three of which would cause any music lover to jump (as if they were sleeping). It's brilliant!

Now all I have to do is make sure my coworkers don't read this site.

Tell me if this is totally evil of me. My boss is a really nice guy. I honestly enjoy working for him. And on top of that, I think he's really smart ... maybe even smarter than me, which means I respect him. Plus, he's pretty lax about just about everything having to do with my work, which is of the utmost importance when you're trying to employ yours truly. The only problem I have with him is his hand. It is completely normal except for one finger that bends 90 degrees at the last knuckle. I hate to be so petty, but for some reason this really bothers me. When he demonstrates a concept with his hands, or uses gestures for emphasis, I feel the blood rush to my face and I get uneasy and queasy. It's awful. I end up making uncomfortably strong eye contact to avoid looking, or I look away, which is never good when you're boss is having a conversation with you. Should I get over it or would that bother anybody else? Not that your opinion matters.

In other news, I came across an old relic of my childhood the other day. It's my first stereo ever, the ol' Gerard. I used to listen to Lisa Loeb "Tails" (the first CD I ever owned) on repeat for weeks at a time on the ol' Gerard. This thing is so badass. The remote has a button for opening and closing the CD tray, but does not have a power button, nor volume control. Because there are many times when you would need to open and close the CD tray from across the room, but rarely if ever would you want to modulate the volume. I decided that instead of tucking it back away in the nether regions from whence it came, I would give it new life. I took a cue from David27 and put the stereo in my bathroom, so I can listen to music in the morning while I'm showering. I just tried it for the first time this morning and it is absolutely heavenly.

Also, it gives new meaning to the phrase, "Rock out with your cock out!" Excelsior!

Here is a picture of my new niece, Kaylyn, with her daddy, Stephen. My parents went down to see them this weekend and snapped a few pictures. I can't wait to meet her in two weeks. Today, I went to see my friend, Jason, at Baby Gap. He works there and told me about some of the great baby stuff they had for sale. I don't want to ruin the surprise for my brother since he reads this site, but lets just say it's all good shit. I don't really belong in a Baby Gap store with all the moms and little children cause when he showed me the baby section I was like, "Oh fuck yeah, this is all good shit!" and then glanced furtively around to make sure I was out of ear shot.

I didn't do a whole lot today. I was a tad hungover ... not from drinking at JRs last night, which I did very little of with my new friend, Ben, but from when I got home and cleaned out my dad's stash. Did a little late night drunken chatting, y'know, the usual. I did get out to the mall, though, which surprised me. Besides baby gifts, i spent 80 bucks on new product for my hair. New shampoo, conditioner, protein treatment, wax, paste, and laminate. I'm way excited about doing my hair now. Too bad I won't have a worthy occasion until the next weekend rolls around.

Sorry, not a lot to post. There are all new pictures up top ... the first time since Thanksgiving last December. So I put up new images there in lieu of the picture page I'd been promising. Enjoy them, fuckers! I'll catch you on the flip side.

I have to start with a few quick shoutouts as a part of the weekend wrap up. When you don't blog as often, things that were once really great blog fodder turn into stories on the way side. But I do want to mention that Friday night I went to Shuck and Jive with Maryann (my former daycare boss) and her daughter Ashley and then Keith met us up there. And then Saturday night I went to a party in Arlington at DAvid's house with Ryan H■■■■. Great times, great times.

But now there's more pressing news. I bought two new CDs yesterday and I have to tell you about them. I got The Calling's new CD (my favorite band) and while I was shopping around I saw and grabbed Ben Jelen's CD. Now, The Calling is just awesome. Their new CD is just as good if not better than their last, and that is a pretty huge compliment coming from me since I listened to their last CD on repeat for like years in a row.

But, the story is Ben Jelen. I liked his song "Come On" so I bought the CD. Cause if you know me well then you know that I've never burned a CD in my life. I'm a big advocate of supporting my favorite artists since music is a massive part of my life. Let me think how to phrase this.

Precious few of you have ever heard the full story of how important John Denver is to me ... or why. Long story short, the first time I ever heard Rocky Mountain High, I was in a particularly difficult period of my life around age 13, and the second I heard that song I had direction. I knew I wouldn't be happy until I could play guitar like that and sing like that. And that has been one of the most defining experiences of my life.

From the second I put on the Ben Jelen CD, I knew that he was something special. Let me put it this way. On a scale from one to John Denver, he ranks an 8. Most people don't even make it on the scale. Every song on this CD is so good that I don't ever want it to end. It's absolutely fucking amazing. Like beyond amazing. Go buy it now. I don't care if you don't get to eat for a month, buy this fucking CD. G*d, it's so good. Of course, he's also beautiful. And then there's the nostalgia factor ... if it wasn't for Ben Jelen I never would have met 27. The first time I met him at a party, I was talking to him because I thought looked like Ben Jelen. But even all of that aside, this whole album is fucking incredible. I cannot stress this enough.

The reason the title of this blog is "Mondays at Studio Movie Grill" is because my old friend Jay, better known to some as PlanoJay, is the bartender there on Monday nights. And he told me that any time I come in I can have whatever I want for free. So you know I'm there every Monday. I got kind of drunk tonight. And when I got home I wasn't hungry and I'd accidentally smoked like 5 cigarettes on the way home. So my mom was pissed that I got home way late, didn't want the food she'd saved for me, and smelled like an ashtray, but I think she'll get over it.

So ... go buy The Calling and Ben Jelen and then report back to me. TRUST ME, you won't be sorry on either account.

I hate working. I mean, while I'm there, it's not so bad. Sometimes the hours absolutely drag by and sometimes I'm done before I realized it was getting close to quittin' time. I have another piece of flair the Nazi's make me wear. This one's a cell phone. My whole life I have hated cell phones clipped to belts more than I hate Jessica Simpson (and her little sister now too). But, in keeping with the theme of turning myself into all the things I've always despised, I wear it obligingly. It's way too big to keep in my pocket because its one of those Nextel walkie-talkie things -- which I also hate.

Some other things that suck, and then we'll move on to more fun topics. We're getting this etiquette class three times this week and basically all they needed to do was hand out a piece of paper saying, "David you don't belong here." They presented themselves as this ultra-hip, young cultured company, but now they're impressing on us the need to look like mission control engineers from the 1960's. Fuck that. I'm not taking out my earrings. That's ridiculous. All I do all day is sit in a cubicle. And they keep saying things like, "If you're not married yet, when you do get married you'll want to eat with proper etiquette. And guys especially when you take a girl out." I know that's petty, but they make comments like these all day long constantly ... everyone does. It would be nice to not feel alienated for like five minutes.

So the fun topics I promised: This weekend, my first weekend in Dallas, could not have been better. Ryan S■■■ was having a party Saturday night, and I was on the ol' invite list. I went over to his house early so I could get ready to go out without the criticism of the matriarch. I helped him put lids on the obscene amount of jello shots and then people started showing up. JonS■■■ from College Station just happened to be in town and called me to see if I was doing anything, so I invited him to join me. I was grateful for him being there since I only knew a few cats and it was a little intimidating. There were like 70 queers sardined into Ryan S■■■'s apartment. It was great. But it did get a little stuffy and hot (I should take a look at his HVAC system) so we moved the party to the bars. Starting off at JR's, JonS■■■ and I proceed to drink Pink Cape Cods like they were goin out of style. Then we stumbled over to the Village with a couple strangers and danced and drank some more. Neither of us remember the rest of the night clearly but I think it ended with us buying a shot and not having enough money, so we left.

Not much else of note happened, but hazy stumblings and drunken ramblings with people we did not know. We made it back to Ryan's where he and his brother were waiting for us to take them to ... where else? ... Whataburger! Fantastic. I spent the night at Ryan's cause I'm a lush and my mother didn't want me to drive home if I'd been drinking. I was happy to oblige. The next day we woke up and went to visit Ryan S■■■'s friend, Greg, who lives in Addison Circle, where Ryan thought I might like to live. He was RIGHT! I fell in love. That's totally where I'm moving when I can afford it, which should be shortly. My first paycheck comes tomorrow -- can't fuckin wait. After we ate lunch and toured Greg's apartment we went and met up with Brent to go to a movie. So Ryan, Greg, Brent and I all rode to Stonebriar and met up with Chris Jones to see Stepford Wives, which I did not want to see, but I did want to meet new friends so I went. IT SUCKED. Real bad. Don't see it. Anyway, I just wanted to graciously thank Ryan, Greg, Brent and Chris for such a great time.

So that is what has been going on. Once I move out of my parent's house and get my own dedicated internet connection, I'll probably be more prone to get back into the updating swing of things, but as it is, I have precious little time to plug in and I don't always want to spend it narrating the past. But do keep checking back and emailing me and stuff, all the contact with my former life is a good thing. Peace out, have nots.

I was so excited to get home and blog so I could tell you all that today was the first day of work that I actually enjoyed. I was gonna tell you funny anecdotes about the people I work with and how funny a couple of them are. I was gonna tell you that I caught them all having a conversation when they thought I was out of the room about how hilarious I am and they love the way I tell jokes and stories with a straight face and then slowly smile to indicate that it was supposed to be humorous. I was gonna tell you all about how we went to lunch as a big group today to a pizza place and how I got mocked for eating nothing but dry, green veggies and water. BUT INSTEAD, I have a much, much better story to tell you. Read the next paragraph in your head with the voice of a large, elderly, black woman:

Yeah, I was getting bored in Baltimore so I rented me a car from Enterprise ... Cadillac Snoop DeVille! By the time I got to Addison, I had to stop in to have my car tuned up. Then it was off to Whole Foods where I bought all the supplies for the best family reunion ever. Best thing is ... it was all free! Well, for me at least. HahaHAHAHABELCHHAHAHA!!!!1!!

Yes, my friends, this reenactment of everyone's favorite new credit card commercials is an accurate portrayal of my recent experiences. I decided I was financially stable enough to order myself a new credit card. It has been like 8 months since I last had a piece of plastic with my account number on it or used my credit card number to buy anything IRL or online. The only charges going to my account were my cell phone, webpage, Time Life subscriptions, and website memberships. Then all of a sudden when I go to order a new card, they say I owe more than $800. What?! So I went online to look into it.

Somebody rented a car in Baltimore and managed to make it down to Addison within two days. Not sure what that's about but my brother said that sometimes people will share stolen card numbers with others, so maybe that's what happened. Then they went to a gas station in Addison twice. I was gonna report the exact dollar amounts but it appears they are on the ball and have already deleted my account information. That totalled about $300. They also made two trips to the Whole Foods Market in Plano totaling like $400. All I can say is that I hope this person was either DOWN and OUT and this fixed their car and allowed them to feed their family. Or that it was some punk kid who bought 300 dollars worth of cigarettes and 400 dollars worth of beer and threw a KICKASS party. Regardless, it was free for me too. They were unusually helpful and quick to believe I didn't make the charges, which is cool. They are sending me a new card with a new number and all I have to do is make sure to alert T-Mobile and Earthlink that I have a new account. Sweet!

I'm really excited to have had the opportunity to be a victim of identity theft. Even though I'm baffled as to how they got my number since I cut up the card so long ago and haven't even known the number myself. C'est la vie! The weekend is here! I've never looked forward to a weekend more in my life. I think tonight I'll go to bed and tomorrow sleep in! Then I'll drink a whole bunch. I miss you and love you if you're back in College Station, otherwise I just love you. Laaaaaaaaaaate.

Hello all I am updating you from an ultra shady tour company that also has computers available for increments of 15 minutes online. Don't you feel special. Really, I just wanted to sit down. We have been walking up and down the beach and through the streets of South Beach all fucking day and I am more tired that I have been in a long time.

In short, I am home. I fucking love this place. As soon as we got here I knew that I was going to have a good time. Every club we've been to has been absolutely bumping. Every person we've seen has been beautiful. And the shopping! OMG. I can't tell you how awesome the stores are here. I dropped 150 bucks today in a shop called Scorch, and it was all I could do to not empty out my bank account and charge the rest to my credit card. The clothes here were out of this world. Well, out of this country, actually. She said one of the shirts I got was from Spain, not sure about the others. The sales girl was so nice though. She said any time I want I can call them up and she'll take some digital photos of new clothes and send them to me if I want them. I will definitely take her up on this. 27, you are going to be so jealous of one shirt I got.

The beach here is also beautiful. We spent the morning getting over hangovers and basking in the sun, even though I was wearing SPF 48. Hahaha, my white ass is not going out to a club with a lobster burn. Last night we cruised up and down Ocean Drive, which is like the most happening street I've ever bar hopped on. Then we ended up at this gay club called Twist. It was out of control. Allison and I earned free drinks by getting on stage with the emcee, who just happened to be a large Columbian drag queen. Whatever, you know us, we'll do anything for a free drink.

Not sure whats up for tonight. We already spent the afternoon people watching at Wet Willie's -- this bar where all they serve are frozen drinks, but they have like 30 flavors. We're big fans ... but we didn't tip today so we don't feel like we can really go back in good conscience. I think we're gonna go to a club on Lincoln Street (the best shopping street I've ever been on). The girl from Scorch suggested it to us. She was so helpful. Thank god we finally got the scoop from a true hip local. This is truly paradise, kids. I am not playing. If I could find a job here in the next two days, I would honestly not come home. Now I know what Will was talking about when he called Miami his second home. Definite vacation spot in the future.

I guess I should go now, I only have a little bit of time left on my 15 minute interval and I don't want to pay anymore money. I would share pictures but my camera is out of batteries, damnit. Don't worry about me though, just in case you were, cause ITS ALL GOOD. Laaaaaaaaate.

Allison and I eventually did nail down our plans. I am reaching out to you all from the comforts of Plano at my parents' house (soon to be my residence as well). We drove up here today when I woke up from my drunken stupor and are departing tomorrow at 8am for Miami, Florida. I hear the rainstorms ain't nothin' to mess with, but I can't feel a drip on the strip.

We got a combo flight and hotel deal, so that's all taken care of. But I definitely had to go buy a whole new wardrobe for going out in South Beach. Ain't no surprise in the club to see Sly Stalone. I didn't want to look out of place so I spent $200 at Express. I needed to do that anyway. I even bought a pair of shorts -- my first in years and years. I've heard temperatures can reach 500 degrees on the Carribean Seas with the hot mommies screaming, "Aiy, Papi!" So I didn't want to get too hot.

Not sure how we're gonna get around so much. Hundred thousand dollar cars, e'erybody got'em, but we're too young to rent a car so we're just gonna try to walk everywhere. At least our hotel is right on the beach so that won't be a problem. We should be back on Thursday. I only came for two days of playin', but every time I come I always wind up stayin'. This the type of town I could spend a few days in. And then its back to College Station for my swan song ... then real life begins.

I'll be sure to update you all just as soon as I return to the land of peon, wanna-be, have-nots. Can ya'll feel me? All ages and races ...

Free at last. Free at last. Thank g*d almighty, free at last.

I guess thats the last time I'll get to utter those words in response to the end of a semester. That's right kids, you heard me right. I am DONE with college. I just wrapped up my final doc for my final project. I need to go to Copy Corner when they open at 7am and have it printed and then turn it in and that's that. It's an odd feeling. Graduation is on Friday at 9am at Reed Arena, if anybody feels like coming.

I was pretty stoked about my plan to just be a bum and try to figure out what the hell I was going to do with my future. Then as luck would have it, I received this email from ■■■■■ (that company I interviewed with):

Dear David,

Good afternoon! As a follow up to the phone message I left today, I am writing to let you know that we are very interested in moving forward in our hiring for the project engineer position, and you are a top candidate we are strongly considering. Please let me know as soon as possible what your employment status is and if you are still available to be considered by ■■■. Thank you!

I told them I was still interested. We'll see what comes of that. They haven't made an offer or anything yet. Sigh, I am so tired but unable to go to bed just yet. I can't wait to be done so I can sleep all day. I slept all day yesterday but it didn't help much. By the time I went to bed I had been awake and working for roughly 80 hours. I took one final, gave a presentation, finished a project (well, Owen did), wrote 5 papers, and finished a takehome final in that time. Our presentation went wonderfully. Its looking like I'm really graduating.

Pretty soon I'll be leaving College Station. Seems like it will be for good. It's odd. For five years all I've wanted to do is leave. And now that I'm leaving, I'm not sure I'm ready. But I'll tell you what I am ready for. Tomorrow Allison and I are going to the Association of Former Students party to get stickers for our cars, and then we're getting all snazzy and having dinner at Mesina Hof. That was one of our other goals before we left ... eating at Christophers and Mesina Hof. It's going to be so good. I love rawkin' the Hof. Then its drinky drinky time. I hope I'm not too tired.

Can't think of what else I had to say, but I wanted to let you all know whats been going on. My whole family will be in town on Thursday, Friday and Saturday, but I'm hoping to sneak away for some just-graduated-college style partying, so hit me up if you want to join (and buy the first round whooaahh). Later you have-nots!

A limerick by my wonderfully creative and observant friend Justin B■■■■■■:

An Aggie named David was near
to the end of his college career.
He grew quite impatient from sleep deprivation,
and decided, at last, to cashier.

In other news, several of you have expressed your disappointment in my absence as of late. Oh okay, fine, I'm lying. Not one person has missed me. But during those long hours, I sit back, close my eyes, and imagine loyal Sidesho-Viewer after loyal Sidesho-Viewer logging on and getting this forlorn puppy dog look on their face when their Buddy List is devoid of the SideshoViD. Regardless, many of you know that I have been spending the majority of my time out at "the greenhouse." But what is the greenhouse? I am referring to ■■■■■■ ■■■■■■ in Navasota, TX. You've probably driven by it on your way to Houston. Next time be on the lookout for the little grey Cavy.

Anyway, I thought if you couldn't be there with me, then perhaps you could be there in spirit. And in order for you to do that, you need to know what the place looks like. Or maybe you're just plum curious. I took my camera out there today to take pictures for our final documentation and presentation (rescheduled to Monday) and some of them are worth sharing. I didn't put up a lot of the pictures of boring valves, pipes, and switches, but chose some of the few cool ones.

CLICK HERE TO SEE MY PICTURES1!!!!1!!!11!!!

You happy, Owen, I switched up the 1's. And David27, I expect you to take a look at the circuit board I designed and leave me a comment identifying at least two of the components on the board. This is your final exam. So its 4:45am and I am up watching MacGuyver on TV Land. Why?

That was a rhetorical question.

Update: MacGuyver just beat up a guy who knew kung fu and had a chainsaw and a knife. And he did it all with his bare hands ... no MacGuyverish tricks. Fucking sweet. I wish I had a MacGuyver mullet.

Today I woke up kinda early for me and had time to walk over to the pet store and look at their bettas. I found one that I thought would look really cool in my new tank. He serves two purposes though. First, he's my pet. Second, he's my guinea pig. If he dies then I know the tank is inhabitable and I shouldn't let Marshall bring me his fish until I get the water fixed. I would feel so bad if I killed Marshall's fish right off the bat. I still need to go to David27's and get his unused betta food so I can feed the little guy.

At first, the water level was kind of low to allow the water spilling in from the filter to make a water noise and produce lots of bubbles ... something to hear and see. As soon as I put the betta in, the force of the induced current shoved him up against the wall. I had to add more water to reduce the impact it has on his environment, but I think he still doesn't like it. I'm not sure, I don't speak Betta. But, I also know I don't want to clean this tank all the time, so he can just learn to deal with it.

Tonight, my friend Brandon is driving in from Austin to visit. He hasn't been back to College Station in a long, long time, so that is going to be fun. Idk what we're going to do but I'm sure we'll be able to find something. I just found out that I haven't been skipping class this week. My prof has been out and may be out for a while. So yay! No early classes! Excelsior!

I would be lying if I said that I was having the Best Week Ever (btw, I fucking love that show). But, ever the optimist, it's not impossible to put a positive spin on things. I will give you all twenty-seven guesses as to what's going on, but you'll only need one. Anyway, I don't want to talk about that now. What I do want to talk about is my new fish tank!!1!

Isn't it beautiful? I bought the tank at Wal-Mart. It was one of those all-in-one packages. I set it up last night and got the filter running after I forced Tommy to put it together for me. Then today I went to the pet store and got two colors of rocks and a couple fake plants. They didn't have any of the goofy shit I wanted though. You know what I mean, like a frog wearing overalls sitting on a log, or a diver and a chest of treasure that bubbles ... goofy shit. They did have a Squidward doll, but I wouldn't want to get him unless I also had Spongebob and they were all out of him. Before you ask, no I do not have any fish. Part of me is thinking I don't really need any. I like the way it looks and the sound of the filter spitting water is soothing. My betta from David27 was dead so there goes that option. Marshall might give me his two fish that he doesn't want anymore. That would be fun, but idk when he's going to bring them to their new home.

Other than that, not a lot has been going on. I've not really been eating or sleeping, because those are overrated. And I surely haven't been to class because that's a hassle. I did start walking a lot, good exercise. I like meandering. And in other news, my flowers are looking awesome, they're getting so big, but none of them have gotten a bud yet, so I will spare you a picture until that happens. Later, you have nots.

---

UPDATE: Marshall came over to work on some scrapbooking thing for one of Thomas's project, and shortly thereafter Owen came home from school and saw my tank decoration. There was an overwhelming sentiment that having a tank with no fish was a waste of time and money. So I shut their asses up by putting some fish in my tank. The first piece of goofy shit that I have planned. This is cool though because even if I do eventually get the fish from Marshall, now they will be forewarned not to fuck with me. I don't take shit from the help, no matter what the species. Swish out of line one time, and you'll end up in a can! Haaaaaaaa!!1!

Hey guys, I just really want to thank you all for the outpouring of sympathy over my deceased fish. *makes masturbatorial motion* David27 still has the thing in a container under his sink and the water is all cloudy and he's pale and floating at the top. Very morbid, but he is still planning on returning him.

Yesterday I finally got my hair cut. No more Milwaukee circa 1983 soccer dad hair for me. Even though I loved that hairdo, everyone else hated it. I guess it's because no one has any style. Anyway, Hannah is a genius, I don't know how she consistently takes a slob like me and makes my hair look good. And she barely cut it this time. I was seriously in there for like 5 minutes and we were done. I'm really excited about my new hair.

In other news, I don't know if I ever specifically mentioned this on my website, but I've been doing the Atkins thing for like 3 weeks now. Well, I've been trying to. I am not altogether happy with my body, and the only solution I could come up with was anorexia until Rick told me to just quit eating carbs. I figured it couldn't be as bad as starving so I started doing it. It is a lot harder than I thought it would be to come up with meals that contain no carbohydrates, but I did okay. I mean, I couldn't completely cut them out, due in large part to them being in beer. And it has been WEEKS since I've had a soda ... or anything other than water to drink, really. That I'm proud of.

The reason I mention this is because David27, Brian and I all went and had a hottub last night. And a few weeks ago we had all gone to lay out by the pool. Brian said it looked like I had lost weight. He is the first and only person to say so. Actually, he's the first person to finally shut the fuck up, quit rolling your god damn eyes, and realize that I actually did have fat reserves and I am not "too skinny already." I was kind of getting off of my diet, but now that someone thinks it's working, I'm back on with renewed vigor. I can't wait to have visible adominal muscles.

Tomorrow's another exam for my class that I haven't been to since the last exam that I knocked out of the ballpark. I am going to spend the whole night studying. Weeee. I'd rather go out, but tomorrow is gonna be too fun so everything will even out in the end. Hope all is going well for you sluts since I haven't gotten a comment in a while. See you on the flip side. Excelsior!

Since the invitations to David27's apartment weren't exactly forthcoming last night, I decided to take it upon myself and surprise him so I could finally see my fish and meet 28. I was really excited so I went home after class, ran some errands, and then dropped by. David27 had just gotten out of a movie and was on his way back but two guys were in his apartment so I was able to sneak in and get a look at 28. He was a gorgeous fish with redish scales that had lines of blue in the ribbon-like fins. He looked so beautiful ... laying lifeless on the bottom of the fish bowl.

MY FISH IS DEAD!!!1!1!!

... and I never even got to meet him. It is so depressing, and far more symbolic than I would ever venture to admit. David27 said he could go exchange him for a new fish at Wal-Mart and I guess I'll be happy with another fish, just like the first one, I might even name him 28, but he'll never take the place of the fish I never had.

I wanted to give him a burial at sea, or let him at least fertilize my wildflowers so he could live on thru them ... but 27 said he needs him so he can exchange him. It is so sad.

This weekend went by rather uneventfully, which was fine. I didn't go anywhere from Easter. Not that I had a lot to do in College Station, but I was still sick and having trouble breathing for extended periods of time so I decided to just waste my days away sitting on my favorite couch watching my favorite TV shows. It was a wonderful time. Almost everyone I knew went to their respective homes to celebrate the day with their family so I was a little bored.

Last night I went out to Northgate with Stino and the crew and had a few beers. I wasn't sure if it would be a good idea or not since I was sick and it was cold and rainy and there were no places open past 1:00. So we got kicked out of Duddley's at 1:00 with full chuggers of beer and nowhere to go. People were suggesting that we 'chance it' and drive home with our beers, but you know me and you know I wasn't down with that. We ended up on the porch of Gatsby's finishing up our beers before we could go in and drink their beer. We ended up pouring some out on their fabulously sodded back porch (all the grass is so dead, its extremely tacky and stupid). Anyway, in the end I decided it was a good idea to have gone drinking because I woke up this morning feeling much better than I have the past few mornings. That is a good thing.

David27 went to Houston to see his family. He just came home today and called me on his way to let me know that he had gotten me a present. I was decidedly excited. He couldn't drop by and give it to me but he did tell me what it was. He got me a fish! He had read my webpage saying that I wanted a fish but didn't know how to take care of one so he bought me a beta, since they require minimal upkeep. I've decided to name him 28 in honor of our good friend 27. I am going to love him and hug him and squeeze him. I think he's going to bring him over tomorrow and I can't wait. I'll take a picture of him and share it with you all when he does. Later you have nots!

Went to IHOP late last night to break my diet. Stuffed french toast was worth every carb. Went to bed watching Waking Life. Good flick. Hard to watch when dozing off at 3:00am. It's a thinking movie, not a drinking movie. Woke up with no cough, good news. Woke up (early, as you can see) with pain in neck and shoulders so intense that sleep is not an option. A hot bath did not alleviate any discomfort. Perhaps some yoga will help. Otherwise agony continues. Hope you have fun in church today, suckers.

I guess everyone wasn't as excited about my flowers as I am. I continue to grow more excited each and every day as they continue to grow. The day that one of them blooms, drink are on me! (No, thats not a typo -- drink are on me!) In other news, Owen and I finished rearranging the living room finally. Everything is at an angle, but they're at different angles. It's very avant-garde. The spaces left in the corners by furniture being at wonky angles allowed me to put a little bit of back lighting, which I think really pulls the whole room together. Yay me.

Last night I went over to David27's to watch a movie with our old friend Michael P■■■. Good times. We watched Party Monster. It was a pretty good movie, I missed the beginning, but if you get a chance to see it I recommend. I brought a bottle of wine as per Mr. P■■■' request, and then he decided he didn't want to drink. But David27 did not have a corkscrew, so using a round thing and a hammer, Michael hammered the cork into the bottle instead of pulling it out. Ingenious. I never would have thought to do so. Why, oh why must I always think inside the box?

I've decided not to return home for jebus's second birthday. I would have to drive there and back all in like one day and I hate doing that. Plus the whole church fiasco will reer its ugly head betwixt the parentals and I. Besides that, I think I am deathly ill. It feels like someone has been standing on my chest for like 2 days now. And I can cough until the cows come home but nothing will come up. Maybe I'll try not smoking and see how that affects things. As it is, pity me! I'm sick! Check you sluts later.

Ahhh, the age old mantra. And this time its no more true than it ever is. I remember thinking to myself, "Wow I haven't eaten a thing all day, maybe I should take it easy." And that's about the last thing I remember. I'll just go ahead and assume that I had fun. One of the things I do after a night like that is immediately check my call history to make sure I did not make any unnecessary conversation. I had one call to Kyle that lasted 10 seconds and then immediately called David27 for another 3. Who knows what that was all about.

By far, the best was the text message that I sent to Brian that I absolutely do not remember sending. He had told me that he was mad at me last night. I think it was because we were supposed to watch Romy and Michele's High School Reunion but I ended up getting too drunk. Anyway, the text message said, "I had the worst dream, Romy. I dreamt that we weren't friends and we were really, really old. But, I mean like we were really, really old. And we weren't friends." My favorite part of it is that it is perfectly formatted as far as spelling, capitalization, and punctuation, which is not easy to do on my phone. It takes me forever to send a text message, much less a grammatically correct one, so who knows how long I spent doing that. No wonder I woke up with my cell phone in the bed.

David27 just dropped by and gave me my keys. Why did he have my keys? I didn't drive. I don't even have my car. I'm so confused.

I'm never drinking again ....

Once again, alcohol was involved in my night. What makes this even better than the party that was rockin on Sunday during the Britney concert, is that this was a Monday night. So fun. The occasion for last night's festivities was Brian's 21st birthday. Everyone together now, "Happy birthday, Brian!" It was quite an ordeal to finally decide that I would be in attendance. I got home from working out with Thommi and didn't feel like drinking or spending money, but 27 and Marshall wanted to go, so I went. Like it took a whole lot of convincing or something. And of course I got shitcanned and spent a bunch of money, but it was a blast. Kyle was there.

After hitting up Fitzwillies, Mad Hatters, and Gatsby's (the new bar on Northgate, very chill, I liked it) we headed back to Aaron's apartment. Aaron had recently busted out of jail, so I bought him several drinks. I kinda feel like I owe him for his superiour bartending skills. I don't think we did a whole lot at Aaron's but sit around and shoot the shit. At one point I was laying on the floor, and as I was too lazy to get up, Justin was kind enough to pour the remnants of a bottle of wine into my mouth. Now that's service!

By far the highlight of my evening was Big Jeff, who was waiting for us back at the apartment. A few people were chillin there when we arrived. Anyway, back to my story. He had everyone's attention in a large round table discussion and went to tell a story about some friends of his. Honest to g*d, the story went like this: "Jeff, Jeff, Jeff and I," said Jeff. I thought it was hilarious, as did Kyle. That was the first thing Kyle IMed me with this morning (or afternoon, for you sun dwelling people).

I have got to go to campus and work on this project that was due 2 weeks ago. I don't know what I'm gonna do but there's a bunch of people in the same boat so at least that's comforting. But instead, I think I'm going back to bed. Later, sluts. Later, Kyle.

In order to keep up with the foreign exchange program we've got going on, it was College Station's turn to go visit the Dallas kids. Everyone rearranged their work schedules (well, not me cause I have no job or responsibilities) and we decided to leave at noon on Saturday. The crew was comprised of 27, Marshall and Thommi. I said we were absolutely, positively leaving at noon, whether they were there or not, no questions asked, just leaving.

Around noon, I woke up and started getting ready. I had no intentions of leaving at noon, but I figured that setting an early, firm deadline was the only way to get there before midnight. We ended up arriving at Ryan S■■■'s loft around 5:00, which left us enough time to go to the Northpark Mall. I bought this shirt at Guess that is inside out. It's so me. Like, the shirts not inside out, but the material is. I'm in love with the shirt. We got back, visited the quaint little liquor store on the first floor, and then started getting ready. Two really loud girls ended up in tow with us, one was 27's best friend, the other I have no idea. Once we were ready we went to Ryan H■■■■■■'s party.

That was alright, but there sure were a lot of people in one small space and I think he forgot to pay his A/C bill that month cause it was toasty. And we could only smoke on the balcony that is the size of my coffee table. And the boy who was drinking an entire bottle of wine, from the bottle, was talking about his faith in his lord and saviour, jebus christ, and how he never tests him with more than he can handle. An excellent topic to have at a boozefest while endulging in far too much of the sacramental fluids. The cops showed up, shook things up. The plan was to go out to the Village anyway, so it hastened everyone's retreat. Chaos ensued. My clan hopped into someone else's car and were whisked away, leaving me and Ryan's roommate, David, to walk back to Ryan's apartment to get my car and drive ourselves to the club. Charming. To be fair, Ryan did offer us a ride back to the apt but since I was under the impression that we were all going to meet up back there, I said we would just walk. Turns out, that was also our ride to the club.

So I was a little nonplussed by the situation. When we got back to the apartment I saw Marshall walking out and said, 'Wait, where are you going?' 'To the club!' he gleefully replied as he walked out the door. I was drunk enough that I didn't really want to drive, I hate driving (and especially parking) downtown, and David did not want to go ... all of this culminated into this final straw and I proclaimed, 'Fuck 'em. I'm not going.' So I did just that. David and I went to the gas station to get some beer and cigarettes, and we sat and watched movies. David is really cool and has the same sense of humor that I do, and we are never afforded the opportunity to hang out just the two of us, so I had a blast.

I chugged beers all night until I passed out. I don't remember the rest of them getting home, but passing out on Ryan's bed worked out to my advantage cause I didn't have to sleep on the hardwood floors. The next day we went and got smoothies and sandwiches and then made the long drive home. All in all, it was an excellent weekend, and we can't wait to do it again. In fact, it may be next weekend since Clay is coming home from Spain to get his wisdom teeth out and has promised me a bottle of Absinthe. Oh yeah, and I'm off carbs and am no longer blonde.

Another Spring Break come and gone. My last Spring Break ever, as a matter of fact. How depressing. I had a pretty good time doing nothing even though I should have been doing a helluva lot. I'm worried about this one class because I still haven't finished the project that was due last week. They've extended the deadline another week, but I'm not going to be here for the first part of it. Tomorrow I have to drive home so I can go to my second interview with ■■■■■ on Tuesday morning. I'm not really excited about being interviewed. The whole process is somewhat retarded albeit necessary. I don't really want the job, but I'll take it if they offer. My brother said I could stay with him after graduation for a couple weeks if I wanted and my sister said I could move in indefinitely, so at least I won't be homeless ... and by "homeless" I mean "living at home."

I spent the weekend gettin drunk with the SideshoGang. We drank so much beer last night but we also ate a shitload of food so it was hard to catch a buzz. I think I fell asleep around 5, who knows. Now I'm just hanging over at my apartment with the AC on full blast. I always get so hot when I'm hungover, and my stupid hangover mask doesn't stay cold for very long against my hot forehead. 27 is on his way home finally, so that should keep me entertained until tomorrow. Ugh, I hate road trips. Peace out, sluts.

Once again, I find myself in the unassuming little town of Humble, Texas. As I was saying before, my brother's wife went into preterm labor the other day and is now stuck on bed rest. I really came to help out but as it turns out, I'm not really going to have to do anything. Not that I thought I was going to be burdened anyway. My brother is going to work here in the morning allowing me to sleep in, and then one of his wife's friends is going to come in to hang out with her.

I might set up the hammock in the backyard if the weather is as nice as it was today and read my new book that Raul gave me, Glamarama by Bret Easton Ellis. You'll all recognize that name as the author of Rules of Attraction starring Dawson. I really liked that book, and I've been told I will like this one even more so I'm excited about that. David27 wants to read it too so I thought I could knock it out during the couple days that I'm here.

My brother's computer is really cool. He has cable internet and he can watch TV on his computer! How cool is that? I am sitting here watching MTV in the upper lefthand corner and updating my page at the same time. He said you can record TV too, so if a good video comes on, I'm going to record it. Oh, maybe that hilarious HEB commercial I've only seen once in my life will come on and I can record it for all of you. That's probably not going to happen, though. I just checked to see if he had Kazaa so I could update my songs but he does not. I wanted to get The Maps "Yeah, yeah, yeah." I think that's the correct name. Anyway, I'm just rambling cause I don't have a lot else to do and no one else to talk to. I guess I'll go whore around on melo or something now. I should be on IMs while I'm here so hit me up if I'm active. Laaaaaaaaaaaate.

The onset of Spring Break is upon us, my dear viewers. Shortay! We fend to go to the club and get krunk with Britney. I started off the break by taking a brief jaunt to Austin with some friends. Raul knew of a couple of birthday parties there that we could attend, so we did just that with Marshall (very much against his will) and David27 in tow. After a late start, we made really good time to Austin ... due in no small part to my superior navigation skills.

We stopped off at Jenny's apartment to get ready. It was her birthday party we would eventually end up at. She was very sweet to let us not only take over her bedroom and bathroom on her birthday evening, but spend the night on her floor. After primping, fighting over the hat, and a couple hearty belts of whiskey, we were on our way to our first destination. It was Tracy's 18th birthday, and it was being held at an apartment with a very large enclosure for around 30 mice/gerbil things. I don't know, but there were rodents in the living room ... and an injured baby squirrel in a box. Charming. Chris was there. And despite having called to make sure I was going to be in attendance, seemed less than enthused that I had come. The keg was Shiner but since Marshall doesn't drink beer, he was becoming increasingly despondent, so we had to act fast. Raul, the responsible driver, decided he wanted to get drunk, so 27 was at the helm.

Jenny's party was at a large house with two kitchens. There were green lights everywhere, and a person blowing fire and spinning large sticks on fire in the backyard. He never once caught the damn thing ... sub-par at best. But there was an ample supply of liquor, and we all partook in it greatly. 27 got drunk. It was the first time I'd ever seen him drink enough to get drunk, and let's just say it was interesting. Leslie is coming into town on Friday and he has promised to give us another show on that night. Brandon was party hopping around town during this time and was able to drop off at our party for a little bit to say hello. I haven't seen that kid in damn near a year. He seemed rather pleased to see me as well.

While Marshall, 27 and I got drunk, Raul sobered up to take us home. He would NOT take us to Whataburger on the way home even though it was totally on the way. If you know me, you know that I simply must have a bacon, egg 'n cheese taquito before bed when I'm drunk or heads roll. So 27 and I took the initiative, remembered where it was, and fucking walked there in the middle of the night. It was too much fun. We got a ride home though from two people who were also staying at Jenny's. When we woke up we ate at Macaroni Grill ... well, actually, Raul and Jenny ate. 27, Marshall and I just sat and drew on the table drinking water. I drew a delightful picture of me throwing up with my head in a toilet. I don't think the waitress liked me. The help never has a sense of humor, I swear!

Tonight we're taking it easy. I just woke up in time to watch Arrested Development, the best TV show every made. I think Marshall, Justin and Thommi are on their way over to 27's to watch some movie called Waking Life. I think its a fucked up movie, but who knows, there's a chance I would enjoy it. I'll keep you all posted. If anybody has something ultra fun to do this week, be sure to invite me (and pay for me). Thanks.

As it turns out, I really don't know how to tan. In fact, I was going to attempt to photograph my ineptitude, but the problem seems to have faded, so I'll illustrate for you again. I got a membership at Total Tan for 25 bucks for a month. So far I've only been twice, but I've fucked it up twice now. Every time I get out of the bed, my body is a splotchy, nasty red, white and tan neopolitan mess. That's not sexy. Maybe one of these days I'll figure it out.

This morning I had a missed call at 8:10am from a private number. Only two people I know use private numbers. One of them is my old boss, but he knows better than anyone that this guy wouldn't be awake at 8:10am since thats when I was supposed to be at work every day and I'd roll in around noon usually. The other is our dear Yalie friend, Chris, whom I normally wouldn't suspect, but he is supposed to be coming home today for a few days. Again though, why would he call so early and not leave a message? More than likely what we have on our hands here is some sort of telemarketer riling up my imagination.

Got a lot to do this week. Have a couple projects due on friday. Spent 10 and a half hours in one chair yesterday working on a program. Normally I wouldn't have spent so long working on it but it was just one of those days where everything was just going right. I was really making great progress and didn't want to stop and come back on a day when everything would just be going wrong, because those certainly are easier to come by. I went and had a beer with Bo over at Fitzwilly's around 11:00. That was so delicious esp. since I hadn't eaten all day. I'm fasting this week. Anyway, I suppose I should go wash off this brown sugar and get headed to campus.

One last foot note. David27 found a zippo lighter in my couch cushions that says "TAMU OUTLAW '03 CORPS OF CADETS" on its sides. It's not that I desperately want to return this to its rightful owner, I'm just dying to know who the closet corps boy is, because if I'm gonna have a corps boy in my house I need to at least know who he is ahead of time. So if it's yours, fess up, soldier. Laaaaaaaaaate.

When last we left our intrepid hero, we found him in the throws of Keystone admidst strangers. Let us now discuss everything that has occurred ... from blackout to blackout. Ryan S■■■ left Dallas with three friends in tow -- Aaron, Aric and Brett. None of the three had ever been to College Station or anywhere nearly as cosmopolitan. They were expecting a cow town, and while we certainly are one, we did our best to restrict their visit to my apartment, HEB, Halo, and Johnny Carino's. In other words, no Dixie Chicken, Duddleys, Shadow Canyon, Chicken Oil Co. (or any Don Gainer owned, shotty wooden construction establishments).

I was over at 27's apartment when they arrived, but had left Owen with a phone number where I could be reached, since I had cleverly forgotten my phone at home. Once we arrived, we had a lot of fun ordering pizza, drinking beers (and Smirnoffs *shakes head disappointedly*), and inviting everyone we knew over. Even our dear friend Christina L■■■ from my major dropped by and ended up going to the club with us. My shirt from the Gap was still too big so I just wore the graphic T I had originally purchased as an undershirt. Many hours later, a large group of us were ready to get our drink on ... and we did just that. Aaron, the bartender, was very nice to us ... even giving us a free round of shots that I vaguely, vaguely remember. I had gone in with the vocalized goal of getting too drunk, a goal I never fail to meet. Several vodka tonics later, things get a little hazy. I know that we spent the night dancing erratically.

On the way home, we stopped off at Whataburger to get some taquitos. This is just a given for me, I always stop at Whataburger, but it has become a sort of College Station activity for Ryan S■■■, and he wanted to share it with his crew. And I guess us talking about it got everyone in the mood, as is evidenced by the many, many fast food bags strewn about my living room. I'm not entirely clear on the rest of the night's activities. I know I drank a few more beers and woke up with no bruises ... so it couldn't have been too crazy. Let's just say "the sun came up on us" because it did. Which I hate. Off to sleep in a massive heap on the floor because some party poopers had crashed early in my bed.

The next afternoon, the grogginess starts to fade as we're motivated to stand up and drive to Johnny Carinos (which is literally across the street, a stone's throw from my apartment). I wasn't quite ready to eat, so I got a box for mine -- so trashy, I love it. Dallas boys bid adieu, 27 and I immediately went back to bed. My sleeping schedule is so wiggity whack ya'll. And my apartment looks like a train wreck ... provided that train had been carrying an assortment of empty beer cans, bottles, and fast food wrappers. Maybe I'll remedy that today ... or maybe it'll still be here the next time the Dallas boys come party.

There is a tentative plan to make our own pilgrimage to Dallas to live it up with them. I've been out in Dallas with Ryan S■■■ many times, so I know that these country bumpkins from south Texas would absolutely love it. I will surely let you all know when that date is afoot. Until then, thanks to everyone who partied with me this weekend, you all uniquely enhanced my fun that had already runneth over. Later, have nots, have a good week.

I got that outfit I wanted, but when I got home the shirt was fucking huge so I couldn't wear it. We got ready anyway and went to see Starsky and Hutch. I didn't bust out crazy laugh at all but I did laugh constantly through the whole movie. I would suggest it to all of you. The movie ran a little late so we had to call Christopher's to push our reservation back about 20 minutes. We went home and freshened up and then it was off to the restaurant.

Ohhhh emmmm geeee. We started off at the bar enjoying a couple glasses of wine while we waited for our table to be ready. There was a live jazz trio that was pretty cool. Our table was ready after only a short wait so we took a seat. We were so prim and proper all sitting up with correct posture and everything. It was so fun. Allison ordered the mediterranean salmon and I had a duck breast in a blueberry sauce. Holy fuck. You can't imagine how wonderful the food was. It came with all kinds of vegetable sides -- mashed potatoes, mashed sweet potatoes, some kind of greens, rice, and these little sweet potato crispy things. That's all I can remember. Needless to say it was fucking decadent. We also treated ourselves to a bottle of 2000 Napa Valley Cabernet Sauvignon. It was definitely not the cheapest bottle available, but not nearly the most expensive either. Delicious! Just when we thought we couldn't eat another byte, they had to bring around the dessert cart. A raspberry chocolate truffle?! Give me a break. I will do anything for raspberries. It was incredible. Allison's said "Happy Birthday from Christopher's" in chocolate around the edge of the plate. Very classy. Thank you for taking me, Allison!

We could barely move after the meal was over. Allison was out for the count, going home to go to bed, but I had social obligations. I was supposed to go that concert with Marshall. Unfortunately, I was too full to do anything. David27 came over and I slowly but surely got ready to go out. Sometime after midnight we finally ended up at Halo, had a few drinks, met up with Marshall, Sonia and Chevy, and then went home.

When we got home Owen was complaining that someone in the parking lot was playing Elton John's "Tiny Dancer" entirely too loud, so me and 27 went to tell them to shut up. It was two girls jammin out in a car after coming from Northgate. As it turned out, it was Erin, the girl that I got into an accident with in my parking lot. She was with her friend Courtney and they invited us to go back to Erin's apartment to party with them. She lives in the apartment like next to mine but upstairs. It was so close. We took some beer with us and sat on her porch drinking and smoking cigarettes and bullshitting. They were so cute and fun. They said they want to go out with us tonight to Halo and I'm totally going to invite them. I will have to let you all know how that turns out. Ryan S■■■ is currently en route to College Station with 3 Dallas boys in tow. Tonight is sure to be crazy. More on that, after this....

I am so lucky. I'll give you twenty-seven guesses as to why but you'll only need one. These past couple weeks have been some of the best in recent memory. It's nice to have a constant partner in crime who likes to sit and watch home improvement shows and smoke too many cigarettes. I'll rip your face off and chop it in a million pieces.

In other news, Allison made reservations for us to eat at Christopher's on Friday. For those of you from out of town, Christopher's is the only nice restaurant in like a 100 mile radius. I'm really excited cause I've never eaten there before. Her parents said we could go eat there as a birthday present. Get excited! Then she bought tickets for us to see Starsky and Hutch but I already promised Marshall I would go see this band play at the Groove. We're gonna have to remedy that situation. I talked to Marshall and he was cool with it even though he said he wouldn't be if I tried to back out. But whateryagonnado? For my graduation Allisons parents are gonna pay for us to eat at Messina Hof. How fun is that? Maybe I should remind my parents that they didn't get Allison a graduation present and see if we can go to P.F. Changs in Houston or something.

I really want to go shopping before all the boys from Dallas get here on Saturday but I doubt I'm gonna have a chance. Ryan S■■■ had so much fun during his night here out at Halo that he convinced like 10 of his friends from Dallas to come down and stay in a motel and get shitcanned College Station style. We're gonna be sure to show them how we do. Chevy is coming into town on unrelated business so I'm sure she (and hopefully Ms. Sonia as well) will join us in our revelry. If anybody else wants to join in just let me know. I'm planning on drinking on Saturday from about 7pm until about 5am. Which means this one will be on beer all night as to monitor my alcohol intake, since Aaron always tries to kill me and almost always nearly succeeds.

It's like 5am and Im just now starting to get to bed. Shouldn't have taken that nap tonight after waking up at 2pm. Oh well, I had fun doing it ... SO fun. Catch you sluts lata.

This is more of a pity update than anything. I realize that I haven't been very dedicated to the SVC this week even though a lot has happened. I have much to break down for you, but for now let's just hit the highlights. First, and foremost, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LESLIE! I tried to call her today and see how she was durrin, but she didn't answer. Hope it was wonderful. Tomorrow is Allison's birthday which will have me occupied for the whole night, if not the whole day as well.

The symphony was pretty cool. They played selections from Tchaikovsky and Chopin. The piano was beautiful. I dunno though... she was called the 'Nora Jones' of classical piano. I think that was completely inaccurate. She was just a really accomplished pianist ... and was impregnito at the same time. Now that takes talent.

This weekend was all about mixing business and pleasure. We had our mid-term presentation for my senior project today. We really weren't prepared for it so I spent almost every waking hour of the weekend working on designing a couple of printed circuit boards for our project. I managed to slip out in time to get drunk both Friday and Saturday, which was a blessing. I even kept myself under control, which I got a lot of props for ... getting props for not falling down drunk ... sign #236 you are an alcoholic.

Anyway, I won't keep you in suspense. Our presentation went really well. It's over now. My head hurts. My shoulders hurt. Yet I have a beer and 27 is on his way. Things are definitely looking up. More on that ... after this.

I'm sick as a dog. The idiots at the quack shack said it was some kind of throat infection and gave me the same generic medicine they always do. Oh well, maybe it will help. Might as well take it. I didn't sleep a wink last night. I ended up taking a bath at like 5am cause I was so achy and sweating. Today's not much better. Enough pissing and moaning though. Pity me!

I was laying on the couch before my 12:45 yesterday and I noticed a moth on the wall near me. I thought nothing of it. He's welcome to chill there. But then when I came home after my lab at like 8:00 he was still in the exact same spot. I don't mind moths but I hate lazy moths. So I decided to capture him.

I put a cup on the wall, tapped him into it and then placed a coaster over the opening. Then I had a flash of evil genius. I decided to set up a Bond-esque death trap. I opened the lid just enough to allow a drop of water through it and placed it under the faucet. It was dripping slow enough to allow him time to escape, but he was going to have to time it just right. He waited until the last possible moment, the water was encroaching his wings, and then made a break for it. I attempted to squash him but he got away, so I let him go. Owen, Marshall, and I were enthralled. Okay, I was, but they also watched. Then Marshall took me to the mall and bought me some chinese food and ice cream. Rad!

In other news, my brother found out that his unborn baby is a girl. I tried to help him out and give some good suggestions for names. They were thinking about Kaylynn Elizabeth. I figured since she is going to be my brother's daughter, that she's already gonna be the whitest little girl on the planet. It might be a good idea to spice her up a little with an ethnic moniker. My suggestions were:
1. Reshawnda
2. Wei Le (but we would call her Jenny)
3. Consuala
I like them all but I think Consuala might be my favorite. And as an added bonus, it might help her get scholarships later. You never knows. Tonight Thommi and I are going to see some Russian chick play piano with the Russian symphony orchestra. I'll let you you all know how that goes. Peace.

I'm sitting in my apartment listening to my heart attempt to jump out of my chest. I'm pretty freaked out because someone just tried to open my front door. I never lock the door, but just so happened to do it tonight. Thank jebus. Justin is on his way over here so I can get some peace of mind and have a looksee outside. As it stands right now I'm too scared to look. I thought blogging might put my mind at ease. There is much to talk about, and I shall type it in between paranoid perceptions of twigs snapping beneath imagined burgler's boots.

Friday night was Boys 'n Beads, the Mardi Gras party. Marshall had spent the few previous days making masks out of stolen supplies from Hobby Lobby. I knew Marshall was crafty, but damn, I was impressed with his skills with the feathers and glue. The one I made looked like a retarded 3rd grader had done it. He fixed it a little bit for me. I still looked like Ms. Finch from Follow That Bird. It all paid off cause Marshall won 3rd place in the costume contest and was awarded a 50 dollar bar tab, which you just know I was all over. I ended up getting way too drunk, as I always do. Excess is my middle name. There was much dancing, much revelry, much too much vodka in my drinks. Sometimes I think Aaron, the bartender, derives some sick pleasure from watching me get wasted. Luckily our pal David#27 was there, and sober, and driving, and took care of me. I passed out as soon as I got home and woke up hungover like a muthafucka. It's all good though because I got to wear my new hangover mask from Bed, Bath & Beyond. It's this gel mask that you put in the fridge. Omega, it was heavenly. Made my hangover an absolutely enjoyable experience.

Skip ahead to Saturday. Marshall's bar tab awaited us, so we got dolled up and went out again. Why on earth do I drink like I do? It's so stupid. I'm drinking double vodka and vodkas and accepting shot after shot. We had to pull over again this weekend so yours truly could nearly roll out of the car whilst vomiting. Again, I passed out as soon as I got home. In other news, someone had spread the word that the afterparty was at my place. Wrong. Owen got woken up and had to tell them all to leave. I felt bad about that, even though it kind of in a way wasn't my fault. Moderation. Someday I will learn it.

Justin just left after we made sure no one was outside my apartment. I still have the door locked and the chain on. Seeing as how its almost 3 and I'm never gonna get up for class tomorrow, I don't think I'll even set my alarm. I'm just gonna read and then fall asleep. I've decided to re-read Clan of the Cave Bear for the umpteenth time. Watching the movie just totally put me in the mood. You should all get a copy and read it cause it's the best story ever. Alright, peace out, you have-nots, and stop fucking trying to open my front door.

Omega, I fucking hate tow trucks. What fucking purpose do they serve? There are 40 empty parking spaces in a row and they have the nerve to come and try to tow the one guy who is here visiting me. They are the lowest of the low, the modern day untouchables. If I saw a towfuck crossing the street I wouldn't brake. To hear about my past personal experience with getting towed, please revisit Monday, September 9, 2002: "Got fucking towed".

So anyway, David#27 came over because we were highlighting Allison's hair (which turned out great despite her zero confidence in my abilities with all things hair). We were chilling on the couch when he was like, "Is that my alarm?" He looked through my window and then sprinted out the door. I followed soon after with his sandals to find him talking to my most hated enemy, my hyena, the tow truck driver. The guy said if we gave him 40 dollars in cash that he would put the car back on the ground. I think thats extortion and I'm pretty sure its against the rules, but fuck it, its better than driving halfway across the state to pay 100 bucks. And since I didn't have my gun (I believe its legal to shoot him in Texas to protect property) we gave him 40 bucks.

I just doesn't seem fair. But I don't want to go further into that rant again. I just hate tow trucks, omega, I hate tow trucks. I complained to the management but they looked at me like I was crazy. I'd rather hike a mile in the snow to my apartment because all the spots are gone than to contribute one dirty fucking dollar towards feeding anyone low enough to drive a tow truck.

On a lighter note, I just got an AOL trial CD in the mail. Allison and I have always loved the random word combination passwords they give you. The two I got today (which I think Alfie would probably list as band names for the day) are NEPHEW-GNAWER and EARFUL-EXAM. Wonderful. Well I'm off to build a Digital to Analog Converter, design an Equipment Interface PC Board, polish off the Internet-Based System User Interface, and prepare for our Technical Advisory Team presentation tomorrow. Busy, busy, busy... HA!

Shut the fuck up. I'm going to punch you in the face. I just wanna rip your face off and step on it, squeeze you til your head pops off. These are all compliments if you happen to hear them come from D27's mouth. I learned that, some people haven't. Last night was fun. I wore red because I don't hate Valentine's Day, and I don't refer to it as 'Singles Awareness Day,' because people who do are pathetic. It's a Hallmark holiday. It's just another reason to dress a certain way and get tanked ... like easter, St. Patrick's Day, or christmas.

I just cleaned out some trash from my bedroom. There were two cups of iced tea on my nightstand that Josh and Ryan left there like 3 weeks ago. They had grown their own civilizations while I left them unattended. I'm surprised I haven't gotten sick from just sleeping near them. When I emptied them out in the sink, I almost hurled. I can't handle rotten stuff, weird huh? But the sight of fungus flowing out made me ill. And the smell. God it smelled like pestilence ... pestilence with a twist of lemon.

I just took a couple of loads of clothes (a fraction of what I need to wash) to the laundry room. Someone had rearranged the letters on those little black and white signs. Now instead of describing the prices and specials on certain times of the week, it reads: SMOKE WEED EFERIDAY. I'm not sure why I laughed out loud when I saw it. People can be so clever sometimes. That's all I've got.

I'm not sure how it happens, but week after week I manage to find myself in hilarious situations that always involve mass consumption of alcoholic beverages. Last night I found myself shitcanned at Halo once again. Aaron was working downstairs and I guess he was bored or something. He was making my cape cods completely out of vodka. I only had 3 drinks the whole time we were there and I was fall-down drunk. He also made us some shots just to pass the time. I played two games of pool with Surge. I haven't played pool in so long. I scratched on the 8 ball in the first game, and won the second. Not too shabby.

I'm not real clear on the details of leaving the club, but I know that Leslie, Marshall, and I all went to David#27's house. He drove my car with Leslie in the backseat. After a brief stop on the side of the road for yours truly to regurgitate the evening, we arrived at our destination. Now I remember Marshall and Leslie being with us, but when I woke up this morning the apt was empty. I asked David#27 where they were and he said, "Well, Marshall is in my roommate's bed and Leslie slept in your car." WHAT?! It was like 11:00 by this point and Leslie always wakes up earlier. The kicker was that David#27 had brought her purse in so no one would steal it, so she had no keys, no phone, and no idea which apt we were in. Hilarious.

As soon as I figured out what had happened, I rushed downstairs to get her. She was sitting ever so calmly in the backseat. When I tapped on the window her only response was to turn and flick me off. She was freezing even though David#27 (after desperately trying to convince her to come inside, and making a meager attempt to drag her ass out of the car) had given her a pillow and a blanket. Hilarious. I laughed so hard this morning as we rehashed the events leading up to it. That's really the best thing that happened all night, even though a lot else happened.

Happy Valentine's Day, sluts. Take your date to the Olive Garden.

Ahh, what a week this has been. I haven't been to class all week. I place the blame squarely on jesus. I did make it to yoga today though, because as you all know, I do not miss yoga for any reason. Now I'm back on my signiture couch vegging out. I'm watching T3 again. I watched it last night with Raul, Tommy and David, but we didn't really pay attention. It has been out from Blockbuster for SO long now, but it's on Tommy's account so no worries here. I really should get it back at some point. We also watched Circuit. Believe it or not, I didn't like this movie despite the title. There wasn't one integrated circuit, resistive network, soldering iron, or pc board in the entire movie.

Today after yoga this girl came up to me and said, 'Hey do you ever hang out at Revolutions.' And by god, I do. She said she recognized my hair from the other weekend and wanted to tell me that she liked it. I hawked it today for the first time since the bleach incident. I've been kind of scared to put a flat iron to it in fear that it would just melt off.

Since the incident I've been doing just about everything I can to get my hair back to ... well, hair status. First I bought some shampoo and conditioner specifically designed for bleached, fried hair. That's helping a little bit. Then I did a protein pack on it, that was really good, I might need to buy a couple more of those. Finally, I got some Infusium leave in conditioner. All of this together, Pesci willing, will give me back the hair I once had. Wish me luck, have-nots. Back to T3...

So I decided tonight that my skunk stripe isn't what it used to be. The roots had started growing in and the blonde was severely faded, giving my hair almost a natural look ... which you all know I hate. So I decided to get my stylist, Ryan, back over here to bleach out my skunk stripe again. Only this time I decided I wanted it fucking WHITE. To achieve this, I left the bleach in my hair for a solid 45 minutes. And this is the Frost 'n Glow of yesteryears for dark brown hair.

 

Well there it is. I achieved my goal of getting it white, however, I'm afraid that it might be falling out. My friend David (WHO IS SOMEONE OTHER THAN ME, YOU HALF WITS!) is over here monitoring the drying process and keeps telling me that its falling out. Then he tells me that its fine. Then he says its falling out. I'm freaking out.

If it holds together, it will look really cool. If it all falls out I'm going to have to shave my head. This could be catastrophic to the fox hawk. I will certainly keep you all posted. Pray for me (in Keith's case, that will be to Joe Pesci ... but whoever you pray to works). Thanks, you have-nots, catch you on the flip side.

I'm not sure where to begin this blog. There is much to say about the past 24 hours. The first thing I did was take an ultra long time getting ready. The SideshoGang was all out at Margarita Rocks and wanted me to join them but I opted for a cucumber melon bubble bath instead. After a really long soak and getting my hair delightfully hawked, I stopped off at Allison's for her dessert & wine soiree. I stayed long enough for some strawberry cheesecake and a glass of merlot.

From there, I headed over to David's to get dressed, Tommy's to pick up some clothes I left there, Mosher Circle to pick up Sonia, and back home to get some shoes and wait for the arrival of my dear friend Ryan S■■■. He drove in from Dallas and arrived around 11 o'clock raring to go out on the town. Of course, we dropped by Allison's one more time so she could see Ryan and then headed out to Halo. Ryan came just short of his goal of dropping 100 bucks at the bar, which meant many beers and shots for the two of us, as well as anyone in the immediate vicinity.

After sufficient intoxication and dancing resulting in bruises, we headed back to James's for more of the same. I had a blast last night, and I know Ryan S■■■ did too. We went to Fazoli's today to eat and go to witness a car jump the median, run over a tree, and speed through the parking lot. It was very random.

Oh, and the big news of the hour: The Olive Garden burned down. Information PLEASE.

Update: Now the fucking train derailed over by Tommy's apartment. WTF is going on in College Station today?

Let me tell you all why I love my friends. Not to harp on the issue (although, in reality, its the only thing really happening in my life right now) but I've been complaining for a while now fairly consistently that I have no money. If you think the pissing and moaning has been confined to just this webpage, you are sorely mistaken. I bitch day and night ... and apparently its starting to work.

My friend Mark felt sympathetic towards my situation and said that the next time I run into him, he will buy me two beers. Ryan went one step further to say that he would buy a bunch of Keystone and we could sit at his apartment and play 6-cup. Raul took the cake by telling me that Saturday night, drinks are on him. And this is why I love my friends.

As of yet, nobody has offered to buy me any food despite the fact that I've spent both nights starving in bed after trying to assuage my hunger pangs with canned tuna and stale tostitos. And that is why I love my friends. So anybody who wants to help a brotha out, I haven't been to Outback in aaaages. Thanks and gig me.

Oh yeah, and on a side note. Webcam is gone. Sorry kiddos. I have one fucked up PC, one broken camera, and one camera that won't load or work on my laptop. Plus I'm sick of being exposed. The end.