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I am on the verge of accomplishing something I have never accomplished before. I am about to finish a garment. Like, I started it, worked on it, and now it is almost done. It's a weird feeling.

When I would watch Project Runway, I was always confused as to how men got involved in women' fashion. I would imagine that people would just gravitate toward designing clothes for themselves and then would branch off from there. But this garment I'm about to finish is a dress for my friend Katie. And now I understand why everyone does women's clothes. They are so much easier than men's. And so much more fun.

I wouldn't tell Katie anything about the dress. All I would tell her is that anything I made, she had to wear. And furthermore, she has to wear it at Daniel's upcoming birthday party. So now I really have to finish it. But since I don't really mind if she finds out, and because I don't think she reads my webpage with any regularity, I thought I'd go ahead and post a sketch of the dress. I totally free handed this from scratch. Not. But I did choose the colors to approximate the fabric that I chose. Part of me hopes it fits her beautifully, but I have to admit there's another part of me that hopes we have to pin it up and let it out and her boob is falling out all night. That would just be funnier. I'm sure we'll snag at least one picture of her at the party and then we can finally compare one of my sketches to the finished product. And that will make for good times.

Speaking of the party, if you aren't on Myspace and didn't get the invitation, but somehow feel you are deserving of attending, just let me know. We should have plenty of room for more friends. I gotta go attach the dress and the bodice now and then I'll be done. Ha, "bodice," listen to me talking like an old pro. Laaaaaaaate.

Have you ever been cow tipping? Have you? No? Know somebody who has? I'll bet you do. That's because cow tipping is a myth, an urban legend ... or would that be rural legend? Anyway, let me tell you why I'm even bothering to tell you this.

Today at work, I used the phrase, "That's about as productive as snipe hunting." (For those of you never molested in the boy scouts, snipe hunting is a wild goose chase at night in the woods looking for some bird-like creature that doesn't exist.) After I said that, Trey agreed, "Heh, yeah, or cow tipping." *Cue record scratch followed by tires screeching* Whaaaa? What the hell did he mean by that? Cow tipping happens all the time in the country. I know someone who knows someone who's gone. When I didn't immediately believe him, we had to google it. Check this out.

First off, cows have very acute senses of both smell and hearing. They are skittish animals that sleep lightly, and always with their noses into the wind. Cows don't all sleep at the same time. Some cows are always awake keeping an eye on the closely grouped herd. Sneaking up on a cow, even if it were sleeping, is all but impossible. But let's assume you somehow managed to shimmy up next to a dozing cow. Cows weigh up to 2,000 lbs when fully grown. Do you honestly believe you could push one over? Improbable. That is if you even manage to try before it runs away or you're gored by a jealous bull. Lastly, and perhaps the most convincing fact -- cows sleep laying down. Think about it.

I'm not going to call you all fucktards though, because I certainly thought cow tipping was real. In all honesty, I never thought about it much. You always hear about it and see it in Tommy Boy, but the fact is, it doesn't happen, and hasn't ever happened. One guy at work claimed to have pushed a cow over before until I presented him with the evidence and he eventually admitted perhaps he was too drunk to remember all of the details. Schyeah, perhaps. I asked a few of my friends if they knew that cow tipping wasn't real and none of them did, so I wanted to share it with you so you won't sound stupid at the next hoe-down or rodeo. And I made this picture to help you remember:

Apparently these cows know how to use semi-colons ... and puns. I helped you out!

In other news, my brother's wife is in the hospital in labor. I will have a nephew by tomorrow. Yippee!

I finally did it. I've waited for 2 full years and the other day, I just decided to do it. I'm speaking, of course, about curtains for my bedroom. I was really daunted by the task of keeping my vertical blinds up. I could take them down, but then I'd have to store them and I have nowhere to store them. And to cover them means curtain rod extenders and screwing into studs, and I know nothing about any of that. So I came up with an idea. Instead of big beautiful curtains, I got blackout fabric. It's thin, it's light, and it blocks 100% of the light. I measured each window, cut out a piece of fabric that fit it perfectly, folded the top over, put a few grommets in it and hung it on nails. I can take them down, put them up, fold them in half to get some heat in the winter -- you name it. From the outside it looks all white, just like the vertical blinds, and from the inside, all you see is the vertical blinds, just like the vertical blinds. I couldn't be happier with myself. I have had a string of successful projects. I hope it doesn't end. I can't wait to be hungover this weekend and spend allllll fucking day in bed.

Speaking of bed ... my sleeping is much better. I have been on time to work 3 of the 4 days this week. That's unheard of. I even started showering in the morning instead of at night because I have so much extra time. I was pretty ecstatic. That, sadly and predictably, has faded. I could feel myself building up a sleep debt as each day went by and this morning I finally had to pay it back. I was one hour late to work. Today, coincidentally, was also the day I got the results of my take-home sleep test. I no longer stop breathing 70-90 times an hour. Now it's 22. 22 is the magick number. The lady from the doctor's office asked me how I'd been feeling and I said, "Much better, but not great." And she said, "Oh, how funny. I was just about to say your test results look much better, but not great." At least I'm no longer severe and am now considered moderate. It's looking like the tonsil are going to come out. I'm shying away from it, but I know that I'll eventually do it. I'll keep you all posted.

I bought a pumpkin today. It was an impulse buy. All I wanted were the seeds. I tossed them with butter and salt and roasted them in the oven. They're delicious. My culinary skill grows little by little every day. I can add that to the list with roasted chicken and blueberry pancakes. Rawk.

Have you ever heard of the mosquito frequency? It's this thing that businesses are using to cut down on teenagers loitering outside. It emits a sound at around 17kHz. Apparently teenagers can hear it and it annoys the fuck out of them, but adults cannot hear it. Trey told me about it at work today so we googled it. I found an MP3 of the sound and hit play. It was maddening. Trey accused me of not really hitting play. He couldn't fuckin' hear it! It didn't take long for everyone 25 and under in my immediate area to come over and ask what the hell the sound was. Then Trey believed me it was real. Which is funny because I'm the one that didn't believe him it existed. We gathered up all the old people around us and not one of them could hear it. One guy put it as his ring tone on his cell phone. Apparently teenagers are also using it to their advantage to allow their cell phones to ring during class without the teacher hearing it. I thought it was fascinating enough to share it with you all. CLICK HERE to listen to the most annoying sound in the world. And tell me if you can hear it.

Methinks it's time for me to go to bed. Gotta stick with the sleep rules now that they're slightly effective. Night, sluts.

Where to begin? I guess, first, I should mention that I'm reaching out to you all from a two-story Starbucks in Seattle, WA. Not three days after I returned home from my DC/NYC vacation, I boarded a plane for a four-hour flight to the great northwest.

When I was sitting in the terminal waiting for my flight, I noticed a particularly ill-behaved toddler screaming his head off. I just knew he would be sitting near me. And I was right. This little fucker was directly across the aisle from me ... and he did not shut the fuck up the entire flight. He was screaming for the sake of screaming. Now here's what really bothers me. His mother catches my glare, smiles, chuckles, shakes her head ... like she's expecting me to be the same, like, "Eh! What'reyagonnado?!" and ruffle the kid's hair. I'll tell you what you should do. You should smack that kid so fucking hard that the next time he ever thinks about screaming on a crowded airplane, the resulting Pavlovian headache is crippling enough to quell that impulse. Good lord, people, it's bad enough you decided to breed, then decided to do a poor job in raising your children, but at least have the foresight not to bring them in public. No one thinks your kid is cute but you.

Except my nieces. They're all adorable.

So Seattle kinda sucks. The weather is pretty kickass, but I'm bored out of my gourd. I don't know anyone here and my room doesn't have internet access until I move hotels on Thursday. I really just want to be home, but that won't happen until September 1. Somebody call the whambulance.

My trip to DC was spectacular. Daniel and I got along famously, something that had mildly concerned me before our departure. While we spend nearly every hour outside of school and work together, that doesn't always give you a good indication of how you'll handle 24/7 with a person. But it was not even an issue. We spent every night in DC gay bar hopping. We got to meet up with Mr. K■■■■■■ and my dear friend JonS■■■. DC is a pretty cool city, but it's missing that essential pretentious attitude that makes going out really fun. Nobody dresses up. They wear flip-flops and cameo shorts and sleeveless Ts out the bar. What's the fun in that? Daniel and I had to get all fancied up and go out with our sunglasses on to show em how we do. Daniel's dad had a nice apartment in Dupont Circle with a huge terrace. The terrace was surrounded on three sides by a tall brick wall, and the fourth side was a rod iron fence. So every night when we were smashed and getting home, we'd climb the rod iron fence to sit on top of the brick wall and smoke cigarettes. Every single night one of us got hurt. Daniel tore his foot open. I have a puncture wound on each knee. You'd think we would learn our lesson after a few nights, but we managed to avoid any lessons learned.

New York was a b-last. I still don't like the city, but I definitely like the time I had there. We stayed with Daniel's friend David (so bear with me during this story, I'm not speaking in the third person). David showed us as much as he could in the short weekend we were there. We went to some good bars, but they were all so fucking packed. I can't imagine paying 8 times as much for an apartment 1/4 the size just to spend every night packed into bars so tightly that it's hard to even drink. And if you go to New York, make sure you take a lot of cash. IF places even took credit cards, they all had minimums. 5 dollars at most stores, 50 at some bars, and one bar even said they wouldn't swipe my card more than once when I told them to just run it. I suppose if you're marking up alcohol 800% customer service isn't at the forefront of your concerns. But like I said, we still managed to have a blast. One day we went on a Project Runway tour of the city. We went to Bryant Park, and Parsons New School for Design, and the Red Lobster that Santino made fun of Tim Gunn and Andre about. We went to Mood, the fabric store they always shop at and had a fabric scavenger hunt. We managed to find 3 of the fabrics that they've used on the show this season. Too exciting. We also went to the flagship Macy's and they had a window display with all of the winning outfits so far this season. It was fun to look at them up close. By far one of my favorite parts of the vacation. The other day we just kind of strolled around Central Park. Thank you thank you thank you to our most gracious host and newest Sidesho-Viewer, David. Can't wait to see you again soon!

We did so much walking on our trip. I really felt like my legs got a good workout, since they haven't had any recently. We also took a train from DC to NYC. That was a first for me. I like the train. The train is kind of like what I assume airplanes would be like if there weren't assholes trying to blow them up all the time. You just kind of get on where you need to get on and then get off when you need to get off. It just made a lot of sense to me.

I have to apologize for the length of this blog. I had a lot to say and nothing else to do in this fucking city. I'm bored. If anybody knows somebody who lives in Seattle, or knows somebody who knows somebody PLEASE get in contact with me. I would kill for some company. Alright, I'll update more when I have internet in my room. Later, bitches.

Als ich mein kleines Diagramm heute morgen saege, beachtete ich, daß mein Punkt über Deutschland gewachsen war. Das bedeutet, daß ich mehr als zehn Besucher von dort gehabt habe. Da ich nur eine Person in Deutschland kenne, muß es mein Freund Marc sein, die meine Web site liest. So wollte ich erklären ihm hallo.

I'm takin over the world, baby. In fact, on BBC.com, they just had an article about the happiest countries in the world. Denmark came in first place. The U.S. was 23rd. This little map shows happiness in the world with red being the most happy and yellow being the most African. I took the liberty of overlaying my ClustrMap dots on top of this map. If you'll notice you'll see that the highest concentration of my dots are all over the happiest countries of the world. Coincidence? I think not. I am the light.

I made Daniel go out to Antonio's with me last night because I wanted to attempt to have a cocktail. I wasn't sure if the alcohol would sting my throat, or if alcohol would go right up my nose as water as been doing. (Did I already mention that the uvula is responsible for closing off the nasal passage when swallowing?) Well, I am happy to report that I had two "very, very dirty Absolut martinis," my drink of choice these days, and had absolut-ly no problems. I'm back, baby! Although, I did have a problem that maybe you alchys can help me with....

My first martini was delicious. And really, there's so much olive brine in my glass that it's hard to taste much of anything but that. However, I thought I detected an overbearingness of vermouth. When the waiter came to see if I wanted a refill I said, "Yes, oh and I think I forgot to mention, I also wanted it dry." And he said, "Oh, I'm sorry. So, more vermouth? You got it."

I was under the impression that a "dry martini" -- or a "dry vodka martini" for you purists -- would contain less vermouth than a regular martini. The research I've done online this morning suggests I'm correct. Wikipedia says, "A dry martini uses less dry vermouth than normal, perhaps a dash or lace of the glass." That makes no sense that a dry martini would use less dry vermouth, but it matches up with my original assumption. Am I right or am I retarded? What I want is a martini glass filled with equal parts of olive juice and ice cold vodka. How would one go about ordering this?

Last night was delightful. I got to go to Clay's house in this magical neighborhood surrounded by castlegates, drawbridges, magik and mystery. He had read my blog on having too many items in my pockets (07/24/2004: My daily inventory) and brought me a stylish euro man bag from Spain! How cool is that. Thank you, Clay, I copyright my new man bag. He also brought with him a bottle of the forbidden, therefore more desirable, Absinthe. The way we drank it was so cool. First you put some in a glass with ice. Then you take a spoonful of sugar, dip it into the alcohol, and then light the spoon on fire. As the sugar melts you let it drip back down into the glass. When it has sufficiently melted, you stir it all up until it's milky and add water. I really enjoyed my first experience. In a nutshell, it tasted exactly like liquid black licorice. Nothing to write home about ... but certain something to blog about.

Work today was so pointless. I know that my work ethic is a well known and often lamented fact of engineering lore, but I honestly believe I'm a hard worker. When I have something to do and it needs to get done, boy howdy, I'll get it done for you, and quick. I'll even work late or through the night or on the weekends if it needs be. What I don't do is show up early in the morning to the ghetto to sit on my hands for 5 hours pissing and moaning about the way things are run. I didn't do a fucking thing all day. Oh well, I guess things could have been worse. One thing I noticed today is that the number one goal of everyone on a jobsite is to pass the buck. It doesn't matter what hasn't been done or who was supposed to do it, "It ain't my job."

And a lot of times, people will use the phrase, "... and I told [insert name here] this ..." I heard that about 100 times today. Example: "What we were contracted to do ... and I told Andy this ... is not to run wires." As if having previously told some third party who is not present or involved suddenly adds credibility to your statement. I just think its stupid, and I told Trey this, that I had to wake my ass up at 6am every day this week, yeah I'm doin' the controls down in Oak Cliff.

Tomorrow is my father's birthday. I got him the Die Hard trilogy DVDs and a Winnie the Pooh DVD for when Kaylyn visits. They've been collecting Disney movies for years now in the event of a grandchild, but I don't think she's quite ready for an entire plot, and everybody loves Winnie the Pooh. I just wanted to get him something grandpa-ish (assuming he is going by grandpa and hasn't been renamed Paw-Paw or Pee-Pee or Poo-Poo or something). I also decorated his cake tonight after dinner. I watch Martha do it so much that I thought I would be good at it. I spun that cake around as I smoothed out the icing. Then I did a cool pattern with pecans on top and crushed up some pecans and stuck them to the side of the cake. I worked so hard on it and I was so proud of myself. When I stepped back to admire my work, it looked as though it had been done by a retarded third grader. I should just avoid entirely doing anything with my hands. Well...

Tonight should be fun. I'm ready for anything, and I told Ryan this, so we're going to go to a party. Catch you skillets on the flip side.

Fear not, faithful readers, I have returned unscathed from the depths of the Dallas ghetto. Today, I had to travel to Oakcliff to do some serious manual labor -- on rooftops and in un-air conditioned rooms -- on an air conditioning system for an elementary school that is supposed to open on Monday. I don't see how on earth it could possibly be ready since the fucking thing is severely under construction. Oh wait, I know one way they can expedite the progress ... MAKE ME WORK ALL WEEKEND! This is an unprecedented first. I have never in my life raised a finger to do an ounce of work on a weekend. But as always, before you reer back in laughter, there is an upside. I plan on tacking however much time I take off to the beginning of my August 20th venture to College Station. So I may be there sooner than you realize ... and get paid the whole time! Haha!

Some observations about my day: (1) Nobody speaks English. This is not a racial or cultural slur, as it applies to every shade of construction worker. Those I dealt with today were black, white and hispanic. None of them spoke English. The hispanic workers naturally spoke Spanish, the integrity of their grammar I am at a loss to express. The black workers spoke some true blue ebonics I could not begin to understand. And the white workers spoke with poor, broken English one can only accumulate after a lifetime of disregard for the rules of grammar. It was quite depressing. (2) Thank g*d I attended Plano schools. There were some teachers in another wing of the building getting classrooms ready and speaking amongst themselves. The fact that these fine people were the educators of young children spoke volumes for their poor test scores in the DISD. Also, there was a book in the "library" we sat in for most of the day called Jamie O'Rourke and the Big Potato which I could only assume was the cheaper, less culturally sensitive version of James and the Giant Peach that I used to love so much. (3) As I walked around, I casually commented to myself, "Thank jebus I went to college so I don't have to do this for a living." Then I paused, looked around, and realized ... this is what I do for a living.

On the way home I stopped off at Best Buy and spent another 100 bucks on DVDs. I had to reaffirm to myself why it is I put up with this shit. So this weekend will blow monkey ass, but it should pay off huge dividends in the future. I have to go take a shower now and head to Carrollton to see the prodigal friend, Clay, who has recently arrived in the US from Espania where he's been studying for a year. We're going to sip absynthe and wax nostalgic with the green fairy. I'm sure I'll have plenty more stories for you come Monday. Until then, my friends, Excelsior! Carpe diem! Haha!

Today was a productive day. I probably haven't mentioned my co-worker, Trey, in my blog as much as I have in real life. Trey is awesome. He's an old rednek with no formal education who is a jack of all trades. He's helping to train me at work. He talks ... really ... ... ... slow. It's awesome. He also happens to have pi memorized to 1250 digits. Today I made an Excel spreadsheet that would check him 10 digits at a time, and I sat and watched him successfully enter 500 digits in a row before I finally decided that I really wanted to go home. I told him I would memorize it out farther than him ... I'm up to 32 digits now. Don't believe me? 3.14159265358979323846264338327950, bitches. If you would like to race me on memorizing it, download my pi Excel sheet here.

This weekend was too much fun. Friday, I went on my lunch break at work ... and then decided that I really didn't want to go back. So at 1:00, I hit the road for College Station. Technically when my boss said, "Leave whenever you need to," I think he meant anywhere from 4:00 to 4:30. But you just can't say something like that to me and not expect me to take full advantage of it. I got into College Station around 4:00 and went straight to Hobby Lobby to visit Marshall while he worked. After a little bit of that I met up with Allison, her friend Brian (who is fab squared), and JonS■■■ for some evening cocktails. I picked up the tab because I have money and I spend it recklessly.

Halo on a Friday night, man I miss that. They were having some wicked drink specials, so after the nine of us drinking on my tab finished up, the total was only $50. Allison brought her friend Brian from earlier in the evening, and he in turn brought his friend James, who tried to open a tab behind my back, but I got it transfered to me. JonS■■■ came against his wishes because I promised him free drinks. Marshall and I got buck wild. Raul made a grand appearance, and Justin made his presence known. We definitely got our 50 bucks worth, drinking and dancing the night away. But you know me, my faithful Sidesho-Viewers. That's just not reckless enough for me. So I drunkenly vowed that on Saturday night, I would have a $200 bar tab. Everyone thought I was kidding ....

The next night when we went out, Marshall jokingly referred to my 200 dollar proclamation, to which I replied, "Let's do it." More drinking, more fun. Despite our best efforts, the total came to $85. In my defense, James was bartending, and being the good friend he is, he told me that he had "hooked me up BIG TIME." So jebus knows how much we actually managed to spend. It was way too much fun though. After the bar, Dick was having some people over to go swimming at his apartment. Raul and I swung by Marshalls for the half bottle of raspberry vodka I had purchased the day before and managed to drink that while wading in our underwear until 4am. It was crazy, crazy drunken fun. The kind of fun business professional people do not have. I can't wait to do it again soon.

Speaking of segues, I think I will do it again soon. I got a call from Chris, the boy who goes to Yale, for those of you who are bad with names. He was in Plano last night and he got to come by my house and then I gave him the full Plano experience by going to chit chat outside Starbucks with overpriced coffee and chain smoking. He is in CS through August and I will most certainly come back sooner than planned to visit him again before he whisks away back to the east coast. It was really good to get to see him and have a chance to sit down and talk about everything that's gone on in about the last seven months. Another reason I need to get back to CS in the near future is that I really need a haircut. I'm not backing out on my decision to never cut my hair again, but my last hair cut by the fat bitch at Toni & Guy was so bad that it's just not growing out right. So I'm going to get Hannah to fix it for the long haul.

The final piece of news is that I got to swing by Humble on Saturday from about 1:00 to 7:00. I went to see my 2 week old niece, Kaylyn. That was too much fun. She was sooo small and so cute. I got her some socks, a blanket and some shoes. I told you all how much I love shoes on babies, right? G*d, that cracks me up. They are too big for her at the moment, but I can't wait until she grows into them. She was so funny. She doesn't really have control of her arms or legs yet. She kind of flails around without rhyme or reason any time she gets upset. So when she yawns and her pacifier (otherwise known by its brand name, Soothie) falls out of her mouth, it is a challenge to get it back in her mouth before the screaming starts. Every time you get close, she knocks you out of the way. So my brother does this thing where he grabs her tiny hands and kind of holds them to her chest and says, "Let's get organized!" It was way too funny. Visiting Kaylyn will definitely have to be a priority in the months and years to come. I was thinking about going out of town for my 3 day weekend over Labor Day, but Stephen, Rachel and Kaylyn are coming to Dallas to visit, so I'm modoubly staying for that. Plus, I think Ryan S■■■ is having a party, so all you College Station boys should come up for that. Start making plans.

This blog is ridiculously long, but I had a lot to say, so I hope you enjoyed reading it. My call to action is for each of you to post your thoughts and experiences with pi, big bar tabs, and tiny babies. Until then, peace, my friends. And good night.

I was so excited to get home and blog so I could tell you all that today was the first day of work that I actually enjoyed. I was gonna tell you funny anecdotes about the people I work with and how funny a couple of them are. I was gonna tell you that I caught them all having a conversation when they thought I was out of the room about how hilarious I am and they love the way I tell jokes and stories with a straight face and then slowly smile to indicate that it was supposed to be humorous. I was gonna tell you all about how we went to lunch as a big group today to a pizza place and how I got mocked for eating nothing but dry, green veggies and water. BUT INSTEAD, I have a much, much better story to tell you. Read the next paragraph in your head with the voice of a large, elderly, black woman:

Yeah, I was getting bored in Baltimore so I rented me a car from Enterprise ... Cadillac Snoop DeVille! By the time I got to Addison, I had to stop in to have my car tuned up. Then it was off to Whole Foods where I bought all the supplies for the best family reunion ever. Best thing is ... it was all free! Well, for me at least. HahaHAHAHABELCHHAHAHA!!!!1!!

Yes, my friends, this reenactment of everyone's favorite new credit card commercials is an accurate portrayal of my recent experiences. I decided I was financially stable enough to order myself a new credit card. It has been like 8 months since I last had a piece of plastic with my account number on it or used my credit card number to buy anything IRL or online. The only charges going to my account were my cell phone, webpage, Time Life subscriptions, and website memberships. Then all of a sudden when I go to order a new card, they say I owe more than $800. What?! So I went online to look into it.

Somebody rented a car in Baltimore and managed to make it down to Addison within two days. Not sure what that's about but my brother said that sometimes people will share stolen card numbers with others, so maybe that's what happened. Then they went to a gas station in Addison twice. I was gonna report the exact dollar amounts but it appears they are on the ball and have already deleted my account information. That totalled about $300. They also made two trips to the Whole Foods Market in Plano totaling like $400. All I can say is that I hope this person was either DOWN and OUT and this fixed their car and allowed them to feed their family. Or that it was some punk kid who bought 300 dollars worth of cigarettes and 400 dollars worth of beer and threw a KICKASS party. Regardless, it was free for me too. They were unusually helpful and quick to believe I didn't make the charges, which is cool. They are sending me a new card with a new number and all I have to do is make sure to alert T-Mobile and Earthlink that I have a new account. Sweet!

I'm really excited to have had the opportunity to be a victim of identity theft. Even though I'm baffled as to how they got my number since I cut up the card so long ago and haven't even known the number myself. C'est la vie! The weekend is here! I've never looked forward to a weekend more in my life. I think tonight I'll go to bed and tomorrow sleep in! Then I'll drink a whole bunch. I miss you and love you if you're back in College Station, otherwise I just love you. Laaaaaaaaaaate.

So much has happened since last we met, faithful Sidesho-Viewers. I apologize half-heartedly for the impromptu hiatus from the blog. Since last we met, a couple of very exciting and life-altering things have taken place in my life. Let's discuss, shall we?

First things first, I graduated from Texas A&M with a Bachelor of Science degree in Engineering Technology. Whoop. This might just be a piece of paper with my name on it, but it is also my ticket out of here. You see, that company that finally called me back have made their official offer and I have accepted. It's off to the Big D for yours truly. Any of you that have followed my webpage have only ever read about my many adventures while living in College Station (unless you are a VERY long time viewer and remember Chicken Cherry Cola or If I Had My Own Domain, It'd Be Vid.com). Now we're all going to have to make this move together as I transplant my life back to Dallas. Ironic, isn't it ... that the one child that probably wanted to get away the most has traveled the least, as the crow flies.

At the onset, I am going to move back in with my parents. This will keep me from having to go and find an apartment right away. I'm not sure if I want to live in Carrollton right close to the office, or if I might like to live downtown, or somewhere else. So this will give me an opportunity to see if I have a social life in Dallas and where the epicenter of that is. It also keeps me from having to pay rent. Which is a good thing. As long as I am staying at home, every dime I make is pure profit. So I want to save up for at least a couple of months just to have some money to stand on before I try to move out on my own and start accumulating nice things.

Since graduation all I've done is eat, sleep and drink. And its surprising how having NOTHING to do can keep you so busy. I am moving out of my apartment on Thursday. So I'll no longer live here. I think Friday, Allison and I are going to float the Guadalupe again, and then Monday, maybe flying to Miami. Our plans have changed slightly and may no longer include California. We shall see.

And last but not least ... HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARSHALL!!!!1!!!!!

I know you wouldn't guess it by the fact that there are comments on my website, but I really don't care about anyone's opinion ... on anything. But it sure doesn't stop everyone and their mom from putting their two cents in. I guess that's cool though, it's basically the same thing we were doing today. Any politics aside, what went on was a bunch of fun people getting together, listening to good music, and generally having a good time. I had to go when the group finally decided to go listen to Tom S■■■ again. I really can't handle that guy more than once in a week, so I went and finished up a project for the class I'm worried about. Well, "finished" is a relative term. I didn't actually "finish" as much as I "quit."

Now I'm supposed to be working on completing my documentation over the project. I would tell you all what the project is, but it wouldn't make any sense and it would bore you to tears if you happened to understand. I don't want to write a paper. I don't want to do anything. But I guess thats the whole point of college, right?

This weekend I'm supposed to go back to Dallas to see Clay who is in from Spain for the week to have his wisdom teeth removed, but I'm really not looking forward to another field trip. And I couldn't stay at home because I really don't care to hear my parents reaction to the new hair color. Anyway, I have no idea what I'm talking about ... I'm just stalling. Now back to Alton Brown...

In order to keep up with the foreign exchange program we've got going on, it was College Station's turn to go visit the Dallas kids. Everyone rearranged their work schedules (well, not me cause I have no job or responsibilities) and we decided to leave at noon on Saturday. The crew was comprised of 27, Marshall and Thommi. I said we were absolutely, positively leaving at noon, whether they were there or not, no questions asked, just leaving.

Around noon, I woke up and started getting ready. I had no intentions of leaving at noon, but I figured that setting an early, firm deadline was the only way to get there before midnight. We ended up arriving at Ryan S■■■'s loft around 5:00, which left us enough time to go to the Northpark Mall. I bought this shirt at Guess that is inside out. It's so me. Like, the shirts not inside out, but the material is. I'm in love with the shirt. We got back, visited the quaint little liquor store on the first floor, and then started getting ready. Two really loud girls ended up in tow with us, one was 27's best friend, the other I have no idea. Once we were ready we went to Ryan H■■■■■■'s party.

That was alright, but there sure were a lot of people in one small space and I think he forgot to pay his A/C bill that month cause it was toasty. And we could only smoke on the balcony that is the size of my coffee table. And the boy who was drinking an entire bottle of wine, from the bottle, was talking about his faith in his lord and saviour, jebus christ, and how he never tests him with more than he can handle. An excellent topic to have at a boozefest while endulging in far too much of the sacramental fluids. The cops showed up, shook things up. The plan was to go out to the Village anyway, so it hastened everyone's retreat. Chaos ensued. My clan hopped into someone else's car and were whisked away, leaving me and Ryan's roommate, David, to walk back to Ryan's apartment to get my car and drive ourselves to the club. Charming. To be fair, Ryan did offer us a ride back to the apt but since I was under the impression that we were all going to meet up back there, I said we would just walk. Turns out, that was also our ride to the club.

So I was a little nonplussed by the situation. When we got back to the apartment I saw Marshall walking out and said, 'Wait, where are you going?' 'To the club!' he gleefully replied as he walked out the door. I was drunk enough that I didn't really want to drive, I hate driving (and especially parking) downtown, and David did not want to go ... all of this culminated into this final straw and I proclaimed, 'Fuck 'em. I'm not going.' So I did just that. David and I went to the gas station to get some beer and cigarettes, and we sat and watched movies. David is really cool and has the same sense of humor that I do, and we are never afforded the opportunity to hang out just the two of us, so I had a blast.

I chugged beers all night until I passed out. I don't remember the rest of them getting home, but passing out on Ryan's bed worked out to my advantage cause I didn't have to sleep on the hardwood floors. The next day we went and got smoothies and sandwiches and then made the long drive home. All in all, it was an excellent weekend, and we can't wait to do it again. In fact, it may be next weekend since Clay is coming home from Spain to get his wisdom teeth out and has promised me a bottle of Absinthe. Oh yeah, and I'm off carbs and am no longer blonde.

As it turns out, I really don't know how to tan. In fact, I was going to attempt to photograph my ineptitude, but the problem seems to have faded, so I'll illustrate for you again. I got a membership at Total Tan for 25 bucks for a month. So far I've only been twice, but I've fucked it up twice now. Every time I get out of the bed, my body is a splotchy, nasty red, white and tan neopolitan mess. That's not sexy. Maybe one of these days I'll figure it out.

This morning I had a missed call at 8:10am from a private number. Only two people I know use private numbers. One of them is my old boss, but he knows better than anyone that this guy wouldn't be awake at 8:10am since thats when I was supposed to be at work every day and I'd roll in around noon usually. The other is our dear Yalie friend, Chris, whom I normally wouldn't suspect, but he is supposed to be coming home today for a few days. Again though, why would he call so early and not leave a message? More than likely what we have on our hands here is some sort of telemarketer riling up my imagination.

Got a lot to do this week. Have a couple projects due on friday. Spent 10 and a half hours in one chair yesterday working on a program. Normally I wouldn't have spent so long working on it but it was just one of those days where everything was just going right. I was really making great progress and didn't want to stop and come back on a day when everything would just be going wrong, because those certainly are easier to come by. I went and had a beer with Bo over at Fitzwilly's around 11:00. That was so delicious esp. since I hadn't eaten all day. I'm fasting this week. Anyway, I suppose I should go wash off this brown sugar and get headed to campus.

One last foot note. David27 found a zippo lighter in my couch cushions that says "TAMU OUTLAW '03 CORPS OF CADETS" on its sides. It's not that I desperately want to return this to its rightful owner, I'm just dying to know who the closet corps boy is, because if I'm gonna have a corps boy in my house I need to at least know who he is ahead of time. So if it's yours, fess up, soldier. Laaaaaaaaaate.

This is a post I've been meaning to put up for a while. I've just been waiting for a day when I didn't have anything to really say. This is the blog blog, if you will. And I will. Those of you who know me know that I spend a ridiculous amount of my life on my website, but I spend just as much, if not more, time reading other peoples' blogs. I wanted you all to appreciate just how insane I am with this. I read all of these blogs ... on a more than daily basis. Here they are now, in the order that I check them every day. And the nominees are...

• Sounding Board: Chris
• Breakfast Parade: G■■■■ et. al.
• This is my blog. But you can read it.: Alfie
• noezoom's Xanga Site: Owen
• Ryan S■■■'s Diary: Ryan S■■■
• Rock N Roll Suicide: Keith
• Welcome Spielmaniacs!: Spielman
• Welcome to Spain: Clay
• Really, it's not that interesting.: Justin M■■■
• www.Burns.tk -- Redux: Burns
• ifiam.org : do you love me?: Posterboy
• toothpaste for dinner - daily drew drawings: Drew
• natalie dee: huffing it up, every weekday: Drew's sister
• ChevyRSK: Chevy
• me: Sonia
• Day in the life of Jon S■■■: Jon S■■■
• David T■■■■'s Page of Misery: David T■■■■
• clr84's Xanga Site: Chris R.
• I like my eggs all runny...: Surge
• bryceareeni's livejournal: Bryce

So, as you can see, I'm not fuckin around. If everybody just had a blog, we could completely eliminate the need for interpersonal communication. Think about it. We'd all still carry cell phones though, so when we saw someone we knew, we could pull up their webpage and read it while they stood there silently. Sigh ... in a perfect world. If you're not on this list, that means I haven't been reading your site and I need a link. Later, you have-nots.

Can I just say, I LOVE not having a job. And yeah, yeah, yeah, one of you fuckheads is gonna bring it up, "But what are you gonna do for money?" Well I don't care. I hate money. That's why I'm always trying to get rid of it so fast. Anyway, my school day ended at 10:00. How awesome is that. I was awake and had the whole day with nothing to do.

So the first thing I did was take a nap. Then I went and bought a book I don't want for a hundred bucks. Then I went to HobLob to hob knob with Marshall and buy a picture frame. Then I went to Academy Sports and Outdoors and bought a yoga kit. So now I have my own mat, strap, and blocks to play with. I also rearranged my bedroom so I have room to yogate in. I wanted to go see Blue October tonight over at the Tap (yes, I was actually willing to go to the Tap) but when I went to see if tickets were on sale this afternoon, they were sold out.

So as soon as Tommy got out of class and I got out of my bubble bath, I headed over to his place to go work out. I'm not sure what happened, but in between the time he got up from the chair to go put his workout pants on and the time he got back to the living room, I feel sound asleep. I've never fallen asleep so fast and so deep. It was crazy. I woke up a while longer and we went and worked out (apparently it was family night at the rec) and then sat in the hot tub. Then we went to see Butterfly Effect.

Holy crap. As you can see, on a scale of 1 to Incredible, I've rated it incredible. I was a bit apprehensive about Ashton in a serious role but he knocked this one outta the park. This movie was like woah. You've got to see it asap. I'm not even lying. If you disagree with me, you are wrong. I can't even really talk about it cause I'm still digesting. Me and Tommy were both blown away by it. Wow. Now I have to go to bed, even though my bed is possessed, but that's another story for another post. Good night!

Welcome loyal Sidesho-Viewers. I know that I haven't been very quick with the cruise, new years, travelling, etc. updates, but I assure that a long blog none of you will finish is on its way. It's just that so much has happened in the past week that its daunting to sit down and try to fit it into a few paragraphs.

The cruise was a blast. I have pictures to show you, but didn't get a chance to post them yet. I was finally honest. New Years was a blast. We drank free champagne and smoked Cuban cigars. Happy 2004 to all of you, resolve to check my webpage more often. Coming back to College Station was tumultous. I learned that despite my best efforts, maybe I am actually a mature and caring person, and managed to avoid what would have probably been one of the biggest mistakes of my life.

Now its time to return to Dallas. There's no reason for me to hang around here. It's not like I went to work today anyway. I have a dentist appointment on Tuesday and a possible cavity, so I don't want to miss that. Think of me often in the next few days, I know not when I will return. Thank you, and good night.

Have you all seen this commercial for the new Quatro razor? Two blades is better than one. And three blades is better than two. And thats as good as it gets, right? Wrong. Introducing the new Quatro razor.

I laugh every, every time I see that commercial. Did any of you ever see that SNL commercial for the razor that had like 21 blades. The first blade cuts the hair. The second cuts it even closer. The third? Even closer. Then an amazing fourth blade cuts EVEN closer. Out of nowhere ... a fifth blade to cut even closer. The sixth blade usually completely misses the hair, but the seventh? EVEN closer.

God it was so funny. So I've decided to invent the quintro turbo razor. 5 fucking blades. Can you imagine? I'll completely trump this Quatro piece of shit.

Its almost time to get to Kyle Field to watch the Aggie beat the hell out of OSU. Deauxcheck is in town to go to the game. And then tonight is the big costume party. Ho ho ho. My prediction for the game? Aggies 69, OSU 6.

Post Script from OClay66: FYI David: I tried to find this new "quatro" you spoke of but had no luck. Then I realized it was because your miss spelled it. Its quattro no quatro (2 ´T´s). I am sure all you other international readers would appreciated the clarification and perhaps a website reference in the future. Thanks doll

I've been putting off this blog because its going to be pretty long and I haven't really had the time to sit down and type it since I've been home. As you may know, I went home to Dallas this weekend. There's no need for pretense so we'll just jump right into the story. I got home on Friday evening and saw my mother briefly. My parents were going to Oktoberfest in Addison Friday evening and then leaving for my cousin's wedding in Denver, CO the next morning, so I really didn't get to see them. No bother though, it actually worked out better that way.

So Friday night I met up with Clay and we went to a housewarming party in Highland Park. It was the coolest house I've ever been in. It was three stories tall with four bathrooms, a huge backyard deck, beautifully decorated, a media room upstairs, and a room with some really expensive X-Men comics in it, which I appreciated. I got a little bit drunk, but we left early because we knew we were going to be getting up early on Saturday to go to Six Flags. And thats just what we did.

I woke up around 10 on Saturday and showered and got ready and Clay came and picked me up. We met up with 4 of his friends downtown and headed out to Six Flags. Has anybody been there recently? We got this thing called a Q-Bot which essentially allows you to wait in line electronically. It cost us like 60 bucks between the 6 of us, and you take this little thing around with you and you lock into rides. And it saves your spot and beeps you when its your turn to ride the ride. And then you just walk right up to the front and get on, while all the have-nots look on in disgust. It was SO fun! We got to ride every ride in the park without once waiting in line. Its actually genius on so many levels though, because if you're standing in a line for 2 hours, thats 2 hours that you're not spending money. The Q-Bot freed us up to walk around and buy shit all day long. I really only spent money on water the entire time, so I didn't lose too much. I did get my knife confiscated at the door though, that was pretty funny.

Anyway, then everyone was planning on going out, but I, naturally, had to go home and shower. I was exhausted by the time I was ready to head back to Dallas, but being the trooper I am, I managed somehow. I called up Ryan S■■■ to see if he was going out and he was, so instead of going back out with the group of new friends I'd just made, I called and left them a message saying maybe I'd see them out and went to Ryan's. Good thing I didn't rely on them, too, cause apparently they went home and fell asleep for the entire night. Anyway, Ryan and I got ready and picked up his friend David S■■■■■■ and went out downtown. We started out at JR's and the beers were not really making me feel well, so by the time we went into the Village, I was ready to just sit down. I was really falling asleep. So I did just that. I have no qualms, people probably just thought I was rolling to hard anyway. But I wasn't a total drag the whole night, I got up and danced a little bit although I didn't drink anymore. By the time we ended up at a late night restaurant watching these two scarf down chinese food, I was about to fall asleep on the table. We finally got back to Ryan's around 4 and I just crashed there because I was too tired to do anything else.

The next morning Ryan made some delicious pancakes, I borrowed a shirt (it says Texas is for Lovers and I liked it so much that Ryan gave it to me -- THANKS!), and we went back downtown for the parade. It was so much fun. We were catching beads and stuff. Ryan took an assload of pictures, but he took them with film (who does that). So as soon as he gets some scanned in, I can put them up here for you to enjoy. The parade was nuts, we ate some lunch. After the parade there was like a political rally and the people for Howard Dean were there. I got a button for my bag. It looks quite striking next to my peace propaganda. After that we took a nap and then I hit the road bound for College Station.

All in all it was one of the most fun weekends of my life. I really needed that. Thanks to everyone who was influential in making it happen. In other news, I pulled some handi-capable tickets to the game on Saturday against Pittsburg. Allison and I are going to be on the front row of the second deck for a game that is going to be televised on ABC. We want to wear T-shirts that spell something out, but so far all I can think of it either "GO" or "TX" or "AM". Any ideas? I'll tell you one thing though, it'll be nice to be sitting through all of those damn TV timeouts. I predict we will win 67 to 12.

And in international news, I've decided to leave the country. I'm not sure when, but lets just say ASAP. My new dream in life is to move to Germany and get a job writing technical documentation for German companies auf Englisch. I guess in reality it would be better if I could be a straight up translator, but I'm probably at least a year away from that. I used to be almost fluent, but not so much these days. Anyway, I think that's about enough blog for now, thank you for your patience, you have-nots. Laaaaaaaaaate.

Man, I had saved up so many choice stories for the blog this week, but at the moment I just can't remember any of them. I guess its true that beer kills brain cells. Now let's go back to that place where our beds and TV is. I got a little bit tipsy last night, which has facilitated my skipping of class and dodging of phone calls from the man ... and my mother.

My mother is calling because I told her I was coming home today. I need to pack up some dirty laundry because all of my good clothes are in the hamper. Now that i don't have a washing machine I will actually do it at home. I am going home for a number of reasons. For one, I haven't been back in a while so I need to see the rentals. My friend Ashlee from high school is in town and has been partying with Ryan S■■■ and I feel left out, so I need to do that. And Clay is leaving for Spain a couple of days so I'm gonna go hang with him.

Not that I feel the need to justify myself to all of you. Did anybody watch the game last night? Cody Scates is a badass.

As a general rule, for those of you not currently aware of the situation, if it is raining outside, I'm not in a good mood. I appreciate the fact that some people find the rain romantic, or like curling up inside their dry, warm beds and listening to the rain hit the roof and somehow derive pleasure from this. But I am not one of those people. Rain is a hassle. For starters, it gets everything wet, including me ... at 7:30am. That's never cool. I also don't appreciate auxiliary noises and lights. If I want to fall asleep to the sound of rain, I will buy a noise machine, thank you very much.

I was supposed to go over to Clay's house last night to watch Chicago. I only bought the damn thing a month ago and I still haven't broken the cellophane. But, then it started raining, which puts a hold on every plan imaginable, unless my plan is to get wet and cold and muddy, then rain is a good thing. I ended up opting to lay on the couch and drink a beer while watching The Daily Show. Which led to passing out hardcore while laying on the couch drinking a beer while watching the Daily Show. I woke up somewhere around midnight and then went to bed.

I'm attempting to get Dustin and Trey to go out with me tonight. I always have a good time when I hang out with those two. We'll see what happens. Now I'm going to go employ my yoga techniques and try to exhale some of this animosity to avoid being a malcontent towards the weather. Laaaaaaaate.

500 more miles on the car, 500 more P-town memories. Lets recap, shall we? The whole reason that I even decided to go home was because my brother from California was in town and I haven't seen him in a long time. But as it turned out, I didn't get to see him even once the whole time I was home because he was busy with one of his best friends marrying his wife's little sister. It all sounded a little incestual if you ask me.

So Friday night I dropped in on Simply Fondue to see my friend Blake that I haven't seen in a while. We chit chatted for a while and then I went home. Saturday I was woken up by JennyC■■■ who wanted me to go to Stonebriar mall with her. And I did just that. We shopped for new clothes for her for a while with her mom and then I decided that I needed to find a new outfit to go out in since I had made some plans so I went to Willowbend. I walked around for a long time and didn't find jack shit to wear. It was pathetic. I was getting frustrated and had an entire day to kill since my family was all at the wedding, so I stopped into Toni & Guy and asked if they had any appointments available. They had one open but it was with the top designer guy so it was more expensive. Sounded good to me. An hour and a half later, I walked out of there looking and feeling like a million bucks.

I went to Coach then because my friend Clay that I was going out with works there and I needed to discuss our plans. He got off at 9:30 and then came to pick me up. We ended up at a bar called Minc around 11:00. We had one drink there but it was really dead because there was some huge $40 cover charge party going on elsewhere that everyone was supposedly at. So we decided to go downtown to the Village. I'd never been there before, and after skipping out on the line and the cover charge by darting in the ajar "Re-entry Only" door, we made our rounds. Not 10 minutes after being there, who do I run into but my old pal Ryan S■■■. I didn't even know he was going to be there. That was too much fun. We caught up on all the pertinent gossip. The cool thing about every other fucking city on the face of the planet besides College Station, Texas is that when the bars stop serving alcohol they don't turn on all the lights and kick you out.

I started noticing though that Clay, who had driven to the club, was almost doubling my alcohol intake, so I decided to switch to water in anticipation of having to drive home. Its a good thing I did too. We ended up staying until about 3:30 in the morning dancing to the best remixes of today's hottest hits. I was completely drenched when we left. It was so much fun. Clay had to crash at my house for the night, but since we had 4 empty bedrooms that wasn't a problem.

Today I woke up and went swimming for a while, got my first taste of the sun this summer. I got packed and ready to go and then met Chevy at Starbucks to share some smokes and stories, just like in the days of yore. Now I'm back home in College Station and I'm really rarin' to go for this next week of work. Hope you all had as much fun as I did this weekend and I will see you on the ol' flip side.

Still no word on when the internet will be fixed at my house. The reason there is no word is because I haven't gotten around to calling Cox to tell them that my internet has been down now for 7 days. I don't think my roommate would call either because that probably constitutes a "boy's job." So I have to spend more and more time at work chatting just to keep up to date with the goings on of my online compatriots. Sad, I know, but so very, very true.

This weekend I'm heading up to Dallas. JennyC■■■ is having a house warming party that I may or may not make it to. Its supposably tonight but who knows what time I'll hit the road, and make it to Plano. I have a few friends I'm planning on hanging out with whilst in Dallas, so it should keep me busy the whole time that I'm there. Clay lives in Plano now with his parents, so I'm sure he'll be one of the first I call. And my old friend Blake just moved into a fat loft downtown, so I might just have to go check that out. Other than that I plan on doing some shopping in a proper mall because Post Oak is a sorry excuse for a great shopping place. I'll be back on Sunday night and I will see you all then. Peace.

Ugh, thank you very much to my retarded brother for getting my hit count up to 1000 'single handedly' as he put it. So now it totally skews everything. He's a real doll. I'm glad they're keeping him busy up at work.

In other news: Monday morning I had my second exam in PoliSci. I didn't study a terribly long time for it, but I think I did okay. We have two text books and the majority of the questions were from the good text, that reads like a human is writing it. I knew all of those. The other text is nothing but facts and figures and inane statistics at the end of which he goes, "So we can conclude nothing." Long story short (which is pretty worthless once I've already told the long story, sigh), I think I did well.

The best part of having a test one day is not going to class the next. So Monday night I rallied up the roommates for a par-tay or Milton Bradley proportions. Earlier in the day me and Todd went to Wal-Mart and purchased Yahtzee and Pictionary. We then invited Doug and Nicole, as well as our friend Fucking Frank to play some drunken Pictionary. Frank doesn't drink anymore and Nicole wasn't drinking that night, so it wasn't completely drunken, but it was completely fun. We played for hours. Whenever somebody won, we'd just start over. Me and Frank ended up winning, technically, since we won 2/4 games, but I'd have to say there were no losers that night. We all had a very good time.

After everyone left, me and Todd sat up playing some Drinking Yahtzee. Then I decided I was hungry so I called Clay and made him come pick me up and take me to Taco Cabana. I think it was around 1am and he was working on a paper or something, but that wasn't important. What was important was my two chicken soft tacos. Damn skippy. Anyway, I didn't go to class on Tuesday (or today, shhh) because its completely worthless to go, and I just sat around all day. Did nothing spectacular.

Today I went to Texadelphia for Christine's 21st birthday ... HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRISTINE!!! If you haven't got anything better to do, click there and send her a friendly birthday IM. I'm sure she'll be thrilled to hear from a loyal Sidesho-Viewer.

Anyway, that's all to report. Sorry for the massive amounts of paragraphs. I'm gonna go meet Justin for some coffee. Peace out, you have nots.

Today is the day that I move everything I own into a storage unit. I'm going to stay in College Station until Thursday just chillin. I'm also taking care of my friend Clay's birds and fish and he's getting back Thursday. I was thinking that I'd stay in Plano for a good while, but now Allison had a revelation and canceled her summer school to support herself in College Station. I still have some people to see and hang out with in Plano but there's a chance I won't be staying as long as I had planned. Plus, my parents are having new carpet and tile put in. I don't remember exactly when that's happening but I will definitely be gone for that.

There isn't much else to say, I have been such a waste of space this past week. But I think I deserved it. I did add the 'Song of the Day' to the left there. Click it to download and listen to whatever song I happen to be obsessing over at this very moment. The title 'of the Day' may be a big seficious since I'll be damned if I'm updating it every day. I may rig up some JavaScript to rotate it or something, but for now, just check out Strange Relationship. Its pretty cool. I think its the guy from Savage Garden. I suppose I could look up his name and see if its Darren Hayes, but it sounds like him so that's why I think it. Aight kiddos, time to load up the truck.
There is no spoon.