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If you think the only thing I ever really talk about on my webpage these days is my bar, you are only half right. The only thing I ever talk about all the time now is the bar. I can't wait until it's done so I can shut the hell up about it. I made some good progress this weekend. I got the tile and some mortar and laid the tile and embedded the cutting board and hammered some copper and raised the microwave so the door would open. Later this week I have to grout everything. Anyway, here's a picture.

It's really starting to take shape. You can see where I put copper around the trash hole. I just wanted to add another natural element to the overall design. It was originally going to be a trash chute but since I couldn't really do that, I thought this was a nice compromise. And the cutting board couldn't look nicer against the tile. Turns out they don't make rectangular tile like I wanted so these 1x1 mosaics work just fine.

Sooo yeah. That's all I got. Late.

Where to begin? I guess, first, I should mention that I'm reaching out to you all from a two-story Starbucks in Seattle, WA. Not three days after I returned home from my DC/NYC vacation, I boarded a plane for a four-hour flight to the great northwest.

When I was sitting in the terminal waiting for my flight, I noticed a particularly ill-behaved toddler screaming his head off. I just knew he would be sitting near me. And I was right. This little fucker was directly across the aisle from me ... and he did not shut the fuck up the entire flight. He was screaming for the sake of screaming. Now here's what really bothers me. His mother catches my glare, smiles, chuckles, shakes her head ... like she's expecting me to be the same, like, "Eh! What'reyagonnado?!" and ruffle the kid's hair. I'll tell you what you should do. You should smack that kid so fucking hard that the next time he ever thinks about screaming on a crowded airplane, the resulting Pavlovian headache is crippling enough to quell that impulse. Good lord, people, it's bad enough you decided to breed, then decided to do a poor job in raising your children, but at least have the foresight not to bring them in public. No one thinks your kid is cute but you.

Except my nieces. They're all adorable.

So Seattle kinda sucks. The weather is pretty kickass, but I'm bored out of my gourd. I don't know anyone here and my room doesn't have internet access until I move hotels on Thursday. I really just want to be home, but that won't happen until September 1. Somebody call the whambulance.

My trip to DC was spectacular. Daniel and I got along famously, something that had mildly concerned me before our departure. While we spend nearly every hour outside of school and work together, that doesn't always give you a good indication of how you'll handle 24/7 with a person. But it was not even an issue. We spent every night in DC gay bar hopping. We got to meet up with Mr. K■■■■■■ and my dear friend JonS■■■. DC is a pretty cool city, but it's missing that essential pretentious attitude that makes going out really fun. Nobody dresses up. They wear flip-flops and cameo shorts and sleeveless Ts out the bar. What's the fun in that? Daniel and I had to get all fancied up and go out with our sunglasses on to show em how we do. Daniel's dad had a nice apartment in Dupont Circle with a huge terrace. The terrace was surrounded on three sides by a tall brick wall, and the fourth side was a rod iron fence. So every night when we were smashed and getting home, we'd climb the rod iron fence to sit on top of the brick wall and smoke cigarettes. Every single night one of us got hurt. Daniel tore his foot open. I have a puncture wound on each knee. You'd think we would learn our lesson after a few nights, but we managed to avoid any lessons learned.

New York was a b-last. I still don't like the city, but I definitely like the time I had there. We stayed with Daniel's friend David (so bear with me during this story, I'm not speaking in the third person). David showed us as much as he could in the short weekend we were there. We went to some good bars, but they were all so fucking packed. I can't imagine paying 8 times as much for an apartment 1/4 the size just to spend every night packed into bars so tightly that it's hard to even drink. And if you go to New York, make sure you take a lot of cash. IF places even took credit cards, they all had minimums. 5 dollars at most stores, 50 at some bars, and one bar even said they wouldn't swipe my card more than once when I told them to just run it. I suppose if you're marking up alcohol 800% customer service isn't at the forefront of your concerns. But like I said, we still managed to have a blast. One day we went on a Project Runway tour of the city. We went to Bryant Park, and Parsons New School for Design, and the Red Lobster that Santino made fun of Tim Gunn and Andre about. We went to Mood, the fabric store they always shop at and had a fabric scavenger hunt. We managed to find 3 of the fabrics that they've used on the show this season. Too exciting. We also went to the flagship Macy's and they had a window display with all of the winning outfits so far this season. It was fun to look at them up close. By far one of my favorite parts of the vacation. The other day we just kind of strolled around Central Park. Thank you thank you thank you to our most gracious host and newest Sidesho-Viewer, David. Can't wait to see you again soon!

We did so much walking on our trip. I really felt like my legs got a good workout, since they haven't had any recently. We also took a train from DC to NYC. That was a first for me. I like the train. The train is kind of like what I assume airplanes would be like if there weren't assholes trying to blow them up all the time. You just kind of get on where you need to get on and then get off when you need to get off. It just made a lot of sense to me.

I have to apologize for the length of this blog. I had a lot to say and nothing else to do in this fucking city. I'm bored. If anybody knows somebody who lives in Seattle, or knows somebody who knows somebody PLEASE get in contact with me. I would kill for some company. Alright, I'll update more when I have internet in my room. Later, bitches.

I'm off tomorrow for my week long vacation to Washington, D.C. and New York City with Daniel. I can't imagine that I'll have internet access readily available (or that Daniel will tolerate me updating my website when there are so many things to do). So this is my farewell to you all. I will update when I get home and let you know how it went. Laaaaaaater bitches!

Any of you that have been to my residence in the past seven or so years have probably had the good fortune of witnessing the most beautiful coffee table ever created. It started out as a normal coffee table donated to my dorm room by a friend of my mother. One freshman year later and the facade was horribly damaged and the finish nearly entirely removed by spilt Everclear. I knew something had to be done, so I enlisted the help of my very artistic and talented friend, JennyC■■■, and soon ended up with this...

It's beautiful. It's creative. I love it. HOWever, it does not exactly fit in with the color palatte of my apartment. I had considered the whole space/ocean/mountain/sky theme for my living room, but instead went with tan and red. Considering Ryan S■■■ and I are someday going to open up Tan & Red Designs together, it was a no-brainer. Anyway, the table holds a lot of sentimental value to me because Jenny and I did it together so long ago, so I knew I couldn't get rid of it. I thought maybe I could cut the legs off and use it as a wall hanging, but again, not really in keeping with my concept of "vintage Parisian." What to do? What to do indeed.

I've been using the table in my bedroom ever since the redesign. It sits directly behind the head of my bed and serves to hold my many extra pillows. You never know when you need to switch in the middle of the night to a softer or firmer or more Tempur-pedic pillow. It's a pillow table. A pillow-table? Solution! I present to each of you, the new and improved pillow-top coffee table. I used three blocks of foam to create each section and then covered the whole thing in faux leather vinyl stuff. After I stapled it down, I put a row of brass tacks between each cushion and then a border of brass tacks around the edge. I didn't think it would turn out showcase quality, but I was pleasantly surprised at how well I did. It isn't perfect, but it's perfect for me. I think it looks so cool. So fashion forward. (Sorry, I just got done watching Project Runway.) It was a fun little project, and one that I have a bruised thumb and several bleeding cuts to show for. You know me, my art hurts me so. I had to offer it up for your approval. As always, I'll entertain your comments as long as your comments entertain me.

My trip to Washington, D.C. and New York City is fast approaching. If you'd like to hang out be sure to let me know. I've already gotten word from JonS■■■ and Mr. K■■■■■■. Hopefully, I'll be able to hook up with Topher in NYC. As an added bonus, the Monday after I get home from vacation, I will be jetting off to Seattle! You believe that? So if anybody is in the northwest, also let me know. Mr. Ryan C■■■■■■ has already expressed an interest, but I should have puh-lenty of time up there, so I'd love some company. g*d, I'm such a jetsetter. I think it's bed time. Czech you sluts later!

I was trying to take a picture of my tonsils for you. They are so swollen and painful that I ended up taking myself to the emergency room yesterday morning. I wish you could all see them but even the best picture that I was able to take is a high contrast, blurry, red mess. They really are disgusting though, trust me. Turns out, I have an infection, but since I'm already on penicillin to ward off bacterial infections, and there's nothing to be done for viral infections, they basically told me to go home. If the pain doesn't subside soon, I'm going to go absolutely crazy. I'm actually sick of being on pain medication. Never thought I'd say that.

As I was traipsing through the pictures on my camera, I found these that I took the night I invented ash tray liners. Daniel has these really cool ash trays. Anytime we smoke inside, Daniel has to dump them out into some aluminum foil (to avoid the old-cigaratte smell eminating from the trashcan) and wipe them out with Clorox wipes. We call it "the dump and the wipe." I was pretty sure I could find a way to eliminate the need with an aluminum foil disposable liner. It took me a while, and a bunch of prototypes, but I finally came up with an easily repeatable manufacturing process. It's patented, though. I just thought I'd show it to you because you might want to come up with your own patented process if you have ashtrays. It really does simplify life. Of course, you could always just make your ashtrays completely out of aluminum foil like I do. I'm getting pretty good at it.

KaboomTwon has been rescheduled for Labor Day weekend, September 3rd. (No, that wasn't a typo. I've decided to call our second KaboomTown party, KaboomTwon.) Daniel and I want to serve mojitos at this one. My fear isn't that they're hard or time consuming to make, it's that I can't come up with a good name for them. I assume we'll be having Grizzy Gooses and Kaboomcrown'n'cokes again, and "mojito" just doesn't stand up to that. So let's have a contest to come up with a Labor Day, firework, KaboomTwon inspired name for a Mojito. The winner might get an invitation to the partay.

And finally, let's close with our product placement of the day. Today we feature the simplehuman line of trash receptacles. These are, in my opinion, the finest trashcans money can buy. I've featured here, my 40 liter semi-round step-on can as well as Daniel's 30 liter pull-out model. He doesn't have a lot of floor space in his kitchen so it was the perfect model. They also make their own simplehuman trash bags that are custom fitted to our cans. They are the finest trash bags, way better than any Glad force flex or any shit like that. These are really thick and truly won't rip when you stuff them full. I love it. Is anybody listening to me?

So Thursday was my birthday. I was pretty vigilant with my vow after last year's debacle to not make a big deal about it. Thanks to everyone who remembered and sent me a message or called. I worked on my birthday but took this Friday off because I was pretty sure I was gonna be drunk.

I decided that all I really wanted to do was sit on the TV and watch some beers. So when I got home from work, I tidied up a bit, cooked a frozen pizza and got down to drinking. Brett Sabulous had kept his plans tentative just in case I was doing something, and decided to come join me in my quest. So we sat on the TV together and watched a lot of beers. When Daniel got home, we moved the party down there and continued drinking. It was so much fun. So low key. So much more my speed.

Daniel got me a really nice Bulova wall clock for over my TV. That brings my clock total to 6 now. That's almost one clock per 100 square feet of my apartment. I am obsessed with knowing what time it is. This is the only nice clock I have though. It looks pretty smart over my new TV stand. I need to hang it just a smidge higher but I couldn't reach, so it's temporary now. Brett got me a gift certificate to Face, this men's salon in uptown. I'd never heard of it but their menu was quite impressive. I'm going to go get a real shave. I have ALWAYS wanted to do that. Hot towels, hot lathers, straight bladed razors. Omg, I can't wait. My parents got me a month of yoga. I really want to try out this place called Dahn Yoga over on Beltline. I don't know what brain respiration is but I'm soon going to find out.

So everything went just swimmingly this year. Unfortunately, speaking of swimmingly, Tuna is in bad shape. He's been really lethargic lately, so this morning I got online and researched his condition. He is showing every symptom of disease. I am going to get a heater for his tank since the temperature should be between 74 and 78 degress Fahrenheit, and if you've ever been to my refrigerated apartment, you know it's always colder than that. I'm about to quarantine him, clean his tank, and see if we can't revive him. But he's 2 years and 3 months old now, so I'm not sure how much longer he'll be with us. I'll keep you updated on his condition. Remember him in your prayers to Chuck Norris. Peace out, have-nots.

Last night I had a dream that prom was that night. Somehow I had managed to completely forget about the entire gala. Looking back, maybe it was because I haven't been in high school for damn near six years, but try explaining that to my subconscious. I hastily got ready and went to the dance stag. Open bar, dude! I rationalized with myself that since it was prom, and prom is a big deal, it would be okay if I had one drink. Which led to another, and then another, and then another. As I sat outside enjoying my buzz and finishing off my last cigarette, I contemplated how I was going to justify this transgression to you, my readers -- whether or not I would reset my counter, but knowing ultimately that I had to.

G*d damnit, my brain is starting to wonder where the alcohol is, and it is not going to be happy when it doesn't get it any time soon. The other fun part of my dream is that Yale Chris was there. But he was with his new boyfriend, which in and of itself was not the problem, except that the new boyfriend was his identical twin, and they were dressed the same. And to top it all off, they were doing LSD from a stamp on this other boy's hand since all of his friends from the University of Wisconsin (???) had joined him at Plano's prom. He tried to get me to lick his hand, but I wouldn't. At least I still have SOME integrity in my dreams.

Yesterday somebody asked me if I was going to watch the Super Bull and I got all up on my high horse and was like, "Derrrr, the Super Bull was last week." Whoopsadaisy! Isn't this thing always in the last week of January? It is already fucking Febrehabruary. Get on the ball (no pun intended). So now I'm hoping somebody today will ask me if I'm watching the Super Bull because now I can say, "NO, but I am watching the Supper Bowl!" The Food Network is having a marathon during the silly little game of nothing but Paula Dean. G*d, I love her. How do you like that massage, Mr. Turkey? So my day is full.

And since I am decided NOT hungover this morning, which is odd for a Sunday, I am definitely going to make it to yoga today, which is good news. Then it's on to face a week at work having had no release this weekend. Wish me luck.

I certainly couldn't go a week without blogging. I haven't done that in ages. Time's a little tight right now because it's midnight and I'm gonna be a wreck at work tomorrow. Big news! I worked 8 hours today. Like actually produced real programming that will be used in a real project for 8 hours. And I'm gonna do it again tomorrow. Things are looking up. So the job, while I still go on the public records as hating it, is looking up. My hair gets longer every day, it's quite shaggy. And I've decided to stop shaving yet again. If I ever hit puberty and the facial hair fills in, I'll let you all see it. My workout routine is going well. I am starting to regain my flexibility, and it feels so good to work out after work. I just need to find some goggles so I can start swimming again.

Went to College Station this weekend. It was pretty fun. Ryan H■■■■ drove and we went and watched Daniel dunk his ring (120 seconds). We "stayed" at Todd's even though I neglected to sleep there either night. We went to Margarita Rocks with Allison, Lindsay, her underage sisters, AllieD, Jennifer, and another pretty girl whose name escapes me. Then we went to a little keg get-together out in the country and Tommy showed up. I shocked Fucking Frank with my lighter. Everyone finally realized why I think it's so funny. From there we hit Northgate. Ran into Roper Joe, that was a blast from the past. Saw Brian and Justin. Owen walked over from campus and Keith was a horrible influence on me. Owen and I got split from the group and decided to take CARPOOL home but it was taking too fucking long so I woke up Marshall and made him take Owen home and then slept in his bed. I'm trying to drop every name possible. If I forgot you, leave a sassy comment and I'll insert you into the list and pretend like you were always there. It will be hilarious.

The next day I was hungover like the entire day. It sucked, but was pretty expected. Lunch with AllieD, back to sleep on Todd's couch the rest of the day. I woke up at 1:30am and had Dustin come pick me up and drank over at his place with Raul. Spent the night on the ground accidentally. Came home the next day. I breezed over a lot of details, obviously, but I had a really great time. Thanks for driving, Ryan!

Whenever I meet someone new, or get someone's screen name for the first time, I always ammend it with a buddy comment. I'm not sure if anyone else uses these but they're a g*dsend to me. I put people's names, jobs, home towns, physical descriptions ... anything I might want to know, or pretend I've remembered later. You should all be using them. Anyway, sometimes the descriptions of someone I've met for the first time, and later become close friends with, are a tad outdated. They tend to be on the insulting side from time to time, so I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings by posting names, but one of them that I just edited the other day said, "that impudent little imp." If you want to know if you have a buddy comment, hit me up with an IM.

And in final news, HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY TO TOPHER (known affectionately by some as Yale Boy). I meant to call him at midnight, but then I realized that I don't understand time zones, so I'd better just call him when he gets out of class tomorrow. But this is my proof that I've been thinking about him and did not forget. (And no, I didn't use a buddy comment to remember.) I love you, kid, have a wonderful birthday, a kick@ss summer, and stay cool.

This weekend I made yet another trip to beautiful College Station, Texas. There were good and bad things about my little vacation. Instead of dividing them into two categories I thought I would alternate between one good thing and then one bad thing to keep things all evened out. Starting with the good, naturally.

I got to leave work at 2:30 on Thursday because I had finished everything for the week, which means I got to take a Friday off for free! When I got to College Station, Marshall didn't want to go out and refused to even attempt to have fun. But AllieD was rarin' to go so we got all sloshed and had a rip roaring good time. The next morning I was completely hungover. So Allison and I went to see Napoleon Dynamite and it was really funny. That night I was ready to go crazy at the bar but got completely stood up by Marshall. Allison came to the rescue after I stopped by a party of hers and took her out to Halo. It was completely dead there. 27 showed up. I rounded out the evening back at the party fairly bored and not drunk enough. The next day I got see meet up and go out to lunch with Tommy. I was supposed to go see his new loft downtown when he got off work at 5, but despite knowing that he was home he refused to answer the phone and let me up and I haven't talked to him since. But he lives next door to a bar, so I spent that time drinking beer and talking to the hippies at Revolutions. I wanted to make a shirt like the one that Napoleon wore in the movie, but I ultimately couldn't find the right supplies. So I went back to Marshall's and took a nap. He never called me after he got off work, despite the fact that I put gas in his car that had been sitting empty on the side of the road for a couple of days. I had plans of my own, though, since Brian (Allison's fab friend) and his roommate James were having a party. I was still pretty hungover from my previous days' binging so I really couldn't drink a lot. And the highlight of the weekend, Chris came to the party.

End the pattern. Did everyone notice it alternated good and bad? (I color coded it after the fact.) I didn't even have to try, because the good and bad was chronological it turns out. But yeah, seeing Chris was really good. I miss that kid so much. It's a lot easier to forget that when I haven't seen him in 6 months, but seeing him again brings that all back. It was a good time though. Maybe I'll see him again in 7 years when he graduates from grad school. Raul and Rob accompanied us to the party. That's always a good time. Brian and James have the coolest friends. It was an excellent party. Other highlights included seeing Justin M■■■ and Charlie at Halo, 27s friend being delightfully nice, and Texas Toothpicks. Other lowlights included not seeing Stino, 27s other friend being dreadfully rude, and Marshall leaving for "lunch" while I was still in bed on Sunday and then never ever coming home. I don't think I'll be going back to College Station for a while ... not without reason.

Tonight I went swimming. It felt so good. I realized I haven't been out of breath or felt my muscles burn in months! I felt just like Michael Phelps. Oh great, now everyone googling for pics of the speedo-clad Phelps are going to end up here. It probably won't help that I'm about to say gold medal Athens 2004 Olympics. (After typing this, I've decided to make tricking googlers into coming to my site a permanent feature on my site.)

Last business to discuss. September 3rd: ULDE:IYDKYDG. Ryan S■■■, Brent W■■■■, and I are throwing a party to celebrate a day of Labor Pains. That stands for Uptown Labor Day Extravaganza: If You Don't Know, You Don't Go. If you would like to come, leave a comment, and IM or an email giving me your email address and I'll make sure you get on the e-vite list. And with all the e-vite list theft going on around town, you'll probably be invited to several subsequent Dallas parties as well. I'm expecting some College Station folk to attend. Also, October 2nd: Stephen Lynch and Mitch Hedberg, the two funniest men alive, performing together at the Paramount in Austin. I'm buying tickets this Saturday so if you would like to go, let me know. Tickets are $35.

I hope you all have an alternatingly good and bad time this week. And remember ... if you don't know .. you don't go!

There is nothing like Neil Diamond to make rush hour traffic an absolute joy. I am in the best mood now. I was jammin out on the way home from work to my new two disc set. I bought it because I was wearing my Neil Diamond concert T this weekend and got many comments on it, which made me start thinking about how I wanted to hear his music. One guy, as we were walking into Jason's apartment complex, accused me of not even knowing who Neil Diamond was, so I launched into a few drunken verses of Forever In Blue Jeans, Kentucky Woman, and Love on the Rocks, to name a few. Sure showed him. HA!

I bought the CD at the Borders in the West Village. Silly me, I never even knew the West Village existed, and Ryan S■■■ lives so close to there, and I used to work like right there. They have some of the best stores I've seen since I left Miami. I wanted to buy a whole bunch of stuff, but decided to save a little bit of money instead of blowing it all on clubbing clothes. I did buy one shirt for 40 bucks, though, because it's totally hot and it was half off. Half off, but I got a whole shirt. It's awesome. I can't wait to sport it this weekend when I'm in College Station, make all you bitches jealous.

Yes, that's right, this is probably your final reminder. I'll be pullin' into CS on Thursday night, depending on what time I can feasibly slip out of work on Thursday. Since I'm skipping Friday, it might not be such a hot idea to leave at noon again like I did last time. I can't wait to see everyone, but there are some things on my agenda. I have to hang out with Christopher before he trucks back off to Yale. I'll be spending as much time with him as I can. I have to go out with AllieD before she trucks off to Austin for the weekend. We have much to discuss ... and by 'discuss' I mean 'drink.' I have a party to go to with Brian and James, Allison's new crew. That's on Saturday night. Anyone and everyone can go with me if you'd like, I put myself down for 20 guests. I also need to see Tommy's new apartment ... now that I know he hasn't been ignoring me for the past few weeks. He hasn't even had internet, so someone else is on all of his accounts. If it's a Sidesho-Viewer, what you're doing isn't very nice and I think you should stop. It made me think Tommy hated me, as preposterous as that sounds.

I went apartment shopping this weekend with Ryan S■■■. I really want to live in Addison Circle, but they were at like a 98% lease rate when I went. That means that there are no good apartments left, and the ones that are left, they have absolutely no incentive to cut me any specials on. I was pretty gung ho about moving out but now my spirit has been crushed. I gave the lady my email address and told her to give me a heads up on any upcoming vacancies. I know I could go live somewhere else, but you know me. Once I decide I want something, I just can't settle for something else. Instant gratification, people, it's what makes the world go 'round. Rest assured, though, loyal viewers, I am fully intending to move out of my parents' house, perhaps in the near future, as my rent budget may swell.

Work goes on. Life goes on. Beers go down. Not much else to say. I love you all, and look forward to seeing everyone in CS this weekend. MWAH!

Today was a productive day. I probably haven't mentioned my co-worker, Trey, in my blog as much as I have in real life. Trey is awesome. He's an old rednek with no formal education who is a jack of all trades. He's helping to train me at work. He talks ... really ... ... ... slow. It's awesome. He also happens to have pi memorized to 1250 digits. Today I made an Excel spreadsheet that would check him 10 digits at a time, and I sat and watched him successfully enter 500 digits in a row before I finally decided that I really wanted to go home. I told him I would memorize it out farther than him ... I'm up to 32 digits now. Don't believe me? 3.14159265358979323846264338327950, bitches. If you would like to race me on memorizing it, download my pi Excel sheet here.

This weekend was too much fun. Friday, I went on my lunch break at work ... and then decided that I really didn't want to go back. So at 1:00, I hit the road for College Station. Technically when my boss said, "Leave whenever you need to," I think he meant anywhere from 4:00 to 4:30. But you just can't say something like that to me and not expect me to take full advantage of it. I got into College Station around 4:00 and went straight to Hobby Lobby to visit Marshall while he worked. After a little bit of that I met up with Allison, her friend Brian (who is fab squared), and JonS■■■ for some evening cocktails. I picked up the tab because I have money and I spend it recklessly.

Halo on a Friday night, man I miss that. They were having some wicked drink specials, so after the nine of us drinking on my tab finished up, the total was only $50. Allison brought her friend Brian from earlier in the evening, and he in turn brought his friend James, who tried to open a tab behind my back, but I got it transfered to me. JonS■■■ came against his wishes because I promised him free drinks. Marshall and I got buck wild. Raul made a grand appearance, and Justin made his presence known. We definitely got our 50 bucks worth, drinking and dancing the night away. But you know me, my faithful Sidesho-Viewers. That's just not reckless enough for me. So I drunkenly vowed that on Saturday night, I would have a $200 bar tab. Everyone thought I was kidding ....

The next night when we went out, Marshall jokingly referred to my 200 dollar proclamation, to which I replied, "Let's do it." More drinking, more fun. Despite our best efforts, the total came to $85. In my defense, James was bartending, and being the good friend he is, he told me that he had "hooked me up BIG TIME." So jebus knows how much we actually managed to spend. It was way too much fun though. After the bar, Dick was having some people over to go swimming at his apartment. Raul and I swung by Marshalls for the half bottle of raspberry vodka I had purchased the day before and managed to drink that while wading in our underwear until 4am. It was crazy, crazy drunken fun. The kind of fun business professional people do not have. I can't wait to do it again soon.

Speaking of segues, I think I will do it again soon. I got a call from Chris, the boy who goes to Yale, for those of you who are bad with names. He was in Plano last night and he got to come by my house and then I gave him the full Plano experience by going to chit chat outside Starbucks with overpriced coffee and chain smoking. He is in CS through August and I will most certainly come back sooner than planned to visit him again before he whisks away back to the east coast. It was really good to get to see him and have a chance to sit down and talk about everything that's gone on in about the last seven months. Another reason I need to get back to CS in the near future is that I really need a haircut. I'm not backing out on my decision to never cut my hair again, but my last hair cut by the fat bitch at Toni & Guy was so bad that it's just not growing out right. So I'm going to get Hannah to fix it for the long haul.

The final piece of news is that I got to swing by Humble on Saturday from about 1:00 to 7:00. I went to see my 2 week old niece, Kaylyn. That was too much fun. She was sooo small and so cute. I got her some socks, a blanket and some shoes. I told you all how much I love shoes on babies, right? G*d, that cracks me up. They are too big for her at the moment, but I can't wait until she grows into them. She was so funny. She doesn't really have control of her arms or legs yet. She kind of flails around without rhyme or reason any time she gets upset. So when she yawns and her pacifier (otherwise known by its brand name, Soothie) falls out of her mouth, it is a challenge to get it back in her mouth before the screaming starts. Every time you get close, she knocks you out of the way. So my brother does this thing where he grabs her tiny hands and kind of holds them to her chest and says, "Let's get organized!" It was way too funny. Visiting Kaylyn will definitely have to be a priority in the months and years to come. I was thinking about going out of town for my 3 day weekend over Labor Day, but Stephen, Rachel and Kaylyn are coming to Dallas to visit, so I'm modoubly staying for that. Plus, I think Ryan S■■■ is having a party, so all you College Station boys should come up for that. Start making plans.

This blog is ridiculously long, but I had a lot to say, so I hope you enjoyed reading it. My call to action is for each of you to post your thoughts and experiences with pi, big bar tabs, and tiny babies. Until then, peace, my friends. And good night.

Today was just a rip roaring good time on campus. I had my weekly senior project meeting, which went flawlessly as always, and then met up with some of my friends who had gathered at the Straight Pride rally over by Rudder Fountain. Damned free speech areas. Has anyone noticed that not once have the free speech areas on campus been used to promote liberal, democratic, tolerant, or educated viewpoints? It's always a bunch of dumb fucking redneks abusing the power.

So we went and had a discussion with them all trying to inform them that every day on campus is Straight Pride day and to try and belittle Gay Awareness Week, no matter how good your intentions may be, will be misinterpreted by the less educated (i.e. most dangerous) members of our little society. We didn't have long to talk to them because they were closing down camp for the day, but promised they would be back tomorrow if we wanted to talk to them some more. So I think we're going to get a big group of sane people together, just to show that on this campus, for every idiot who thinks Straight Pride is funny, there are two people who realize the implications.

You might think we were out of fun after these idiots cleared out, but no, OH NO, our fun had just begun. Our beloved campus evangelist, the one and only, Mr. Tom S■■■ was back! Hoorah! Our friend Jon S■■■, like the leader of Aggie Democrats, and a Jew, no less, had quite a time talking to Mr. S■■■. I don't like to talk to him because I know that he is an accomplished speaker and the last time I talked to him he turned my words back around on me. I prefer to prey on his little minions that he positions throughout the crowds to talk to you as you bad mouth him under your breath. I got sucked into an argument when I overheard some guy proclaiming that g*d was obviously real ... just look at the tree ... how could you possibly explain the tree without g*d? So I pointed out that it could be explained with Horticulture, a subject that is taught at this very university! Shazam!

Then he tried to tell me that faith was logic. To which I countered that faith is the opposite of logic, at which point, a guy who is in my major, and an active BUc (Brother Under christ) jumped in. We talked for a long time much to the amusement of my friends who were sitting near by. I've never really been observed in one of these arguments even though I tend to have them WAY more often than I'd like. But they were all laughing because, apparently, I show no emotion ... big shocker there, I'm totally monotone all the time. But they said that the other guy would get worked up and I wouldn't give a shit, which is basically true. We had to stop arguing though because he wanted to go on forever when it was apparent to me that our beliefs were fundamentally opposite, and no common ground could be met. For every christian bullshit line he pulled out, I put it back on him. He said he was trying to spread g*d's word to help me, I told him I was trying to convince him otherwise to help him.

All in all it was the same argument I always have with these people. I always think that it must be such a treat for them to get to talk to me, and such a drag for me to talk to them. Because I formed my own opinions on everything and they're good and funny and logical, whereas they all read the same stupid fairytale book for their opinions, so I know exactly what they're going to say next. Fucking automatons. My favorite part of the discussion was when I informed him, "There is no heaven. There is no hell. There is no g*d. There is no jebus. There is no salvation. There is no sin. You've got to stop thinking in terms like that." Lovely, just lovely. I love myself.

I am God.

I took a picture of my brown hair but I don't like the self portrait thing with my camera, so you all have to wait until I get someone else to take my pictures before you can see it. I am totally styling it in 70's retro style, and everyone hates it but me. But it completely cracks me up so I'll probably keep it up for a while. In the mean time, if you'd like to meet us out at Rudder Fountain tomorrow to speak more with the bigots, do just that. We'd love to have you. Laaaaaaaaaate.

The onset of Spring Break is upon us, my dear viewers. Shortay! We fend to go to the club and get krunk with Britney. I started off the break by taking a brief jaunt to Austin with some friends. Raul knew of a couple of birthday parties there that we could attend, so we did just that with Marshall (very much against his will) and David27 in tow. After a late start, we made really good time to Austin ... due in no small part to my superior navigation skills.

We stopped off at Jenny's apartment to get ready. It was her birthday party we would eventually end up at. She was very sweet to let us not only take over her bedroom and bathroom on her birthday evening, but spend the night on her floor. After primping, fighting over the hat, and a couple hearty belts of whiskey, we were on our way to our first destination. It was Tracy's 18th birthday, and it was being held at an apartment with a very large enclosure for around 30 mice/gerbil things. I don't know, but there were rodents in the living room ... and an injured baby squirrel in a box. Charming. Chris was there. And despite having called to make sure I was going to be in attendance, seemed less than enthused that I had come. The keg was Shiner but since Marshall doesn't drink beer, he was becoming increasingly despondent, so we had to act fast. Raul, the responsible driver, decided he wanted to get drunk, so 27 was at the helm.

Jenny's party was at a large house with two kitchens. There were green lights everywhere, and a person blowing fire and spinning large sticks on fire in the backyard. He never once caught the damn thing ... sub-par at best. But there was an ample supply of liquor, and we all partook in it greatly. 27 got drunk. It was the first time I'd ever seen him drink enough to get drunk, and let's just say it was interesting. Leslie is coming into town on Friday and he has promised to give us another show on that night. Brandon was party hopping around town during this time and was able to drop off at our party for a little bit to say hello. I haven't seen that kid in damn near a year. He seemed rather pleased to see me as well.

While Marshall, 27 and I got drunk, Raul sobered up to take us home. He would NOT take us to Whataburger on the way home even though it was totally on the way. If you know me, you know that I simply must have a bacon, egg 'n cheese taquito before bed when I'm drunk or heads roll. So 27 and I took the initiative, remembered where it was, and fucking walked there in the middle of the night. It was too much fun. We got a ride home though from two people who were also staying at Jenny's. When we woke up we ate at Macaroni Grill ... well, actually, Raul and Jenny ate. 27, Marshall and I just sat and drew on the table drinking water. I drew a delightful picture of me throwing up with my head in a toilet. I don't think the waitress liked me. The help never has a sense of humor, I swear!

Tonight we're taking it easy. I just woke up in time to watch Arrested Development, the best TV show every made. I think Marshall, Justin and Thommi are on their way over to 27's to watch some movie called Waking Life. I think its a fucked up movie, but who knows, there's a chance I would enjoy it. I'll keep you all posted. If anybody has something ultra fun to do this week, be sure to invite me (and pay for me). Thanks.

As it turns out, I really don't know how to tan. In fact, I was going to attempt to photograph my ineptitude, but the problem seems to have faded, so I'll illustrate for you again. I got a membership at Total Tan for 25 bucks for a month. So far I've only been twice, but I've fucked it up twice now. Every time I get out of the bed, my body is a splotchy, nasty red, white and tan neopolitan mess. That's not sexy. Maybe one of these days I'll figure it out.

This morning I had a missed call at 8:10am from a private number. Only two people I know use private numbers. One of them is my old boss, but he knows better than anyone that this guy wouldn't be awake at 8:10am since thats when I was supposed to be at work every day and I'd roll in around noon usually. The other is our dear Yalie friend, Chris, whom I normally wouldn't suspect, but he is supposed to be coming home today for a few days. Again though, why would he call so early and not leave a message? More than likely what we have on our hands here is some sort of telemarketer riling up my imagination.

Got a lot to do this week. Have a couple projects due on friday. Spent 10 and a half hours in one chair yesterday working on a program. Normally I wouldn't have spent so long working on it but it was just one of those days where everything was just going right. I was really making great progress and didn't want to stop and come back on a day when everything would just be going wrong, because those certainly are easier to come by. I went and had a beer with Bo over at Fitzwilly's around 11:00. That was so delicious esp. since I hadn't eaten all day. I'm fasting this week. Anyway, I suppose I should go wash off this brown sugar and get headed to campus.

One last foot note. David27 found a zippo lighter in my couch cushions that says "TAMU OUTLAW '03 CORPS OF CADETS" on its sides. It's not that I desperately want to return this to its rightful owner, I'm just dying to know who the closet corps boy is, because if I'm gonna have a corps boy in my house I need to at least know who he is ahead of time. So if it's yours, fess up, soldier. Laaaaaaaaaate.

I'm not sure where to begin this blog. There is much to say about the past 24 hours. The first thing I did was take an ultra long time getting ready. The SideshoGang was all out at Margarita Rocks and wanted me to join them but I opted for a cucumber melon bubble bath instead. After a really long soak and getting my hair delightfully hawked, I stopped off at Allison's for her dessert & wine soiree. I stayed long enough for some strawberry cheesecake and a glass of merlot.

From there, I headed over to David's to get dressed, Tommy's to pick up some clothes I left there, Mosher Circle to pick up Sonia, and back home to get some shoes and wait for the arrival of my dear friend Ryan S■■■. He drove in from Dallas and arrived around 11 o'clock raring to go out on the town. Of course, we dropped by Allison's one more time so she could see Ryan and then headed out to Halo. Ryan came just short of his goal of dropping 100 bucks at the bar, which meant many beers and shots for the two of us, as well as anyone in the immediate vicinity.

After sufficient intoxication and dancing resulting in bruises, we headed back to James's for more of the same. I had a blast last night, and I know Ryan S■■■ did too. We went to Fazoli's today to eat and go to witness a car jump the median, run over a tree, and speed through the parking lot. It was very random.

Oh, and the big news of the hour: The Olive Garden burned down. Information PLEASE.

Update: Now the fucking train derailed over by Tommy's apartment. WTF is going on in College Station today?

This is a post I've been meaning to put up for a while. I've just been waiting for a day when I didn't have anything to really say. This is the blog blog, if you will. And I will. Those of you who know me know that I spend a ridiculous amount of my life on my website, but I spend just as much, if not more, time reading other peoples' blogs. I wanted you all to appreciate just how insane I am with this. I read all of these blogs ... on a more than daily basis. Here they are now, in the order that I check them every day. And the nominees are...

• Sounding Board: Chris
• Breakfast Parade: G■■■■ et. al.
• This is my blog. But you can read it.: Alfie
• noezoom's Xanga Site: Owen
• Ryan S■■■'s Diary: Ryan S■■■
• Rock N Roll Suicide: Keith
• Welcome Spielmaniacs!: Spielman
• Welcome to Spain: Clay
• Really, it's not that interesting.: Justin M■■■
• www.Burns.tk -- Redux: Burns
• ifiam.org : do you love me?: Posterboy
• toothpaste for dinner - daily drew drawings: Drew
• natalie dee: huffing it up, every weekday: Drew's sister
• ChevyRSK: Chevy
• me: Sonia
• Day in the life of Jon S■■■: Jon S■■■
• David T■■■■'s Page of Misery: David T■■■■
• clr84's Xanga Site: Chris R.
• I like my eggs all runny...: Surge
• bryceareeni's livejournal: Bryce

So, as you can see, I'm not fuckin around. If everybody just had a blog, we could completely eliminate the need for interpersonal communication. Think about it. We'd all still carry cell phones though, so when we saw someone we knew, we could pull up their webpage and read it while they stood there silently. Sigh ... in a perfect world. If you're not on this list, that means I haven't been reading your site and I need a link. Later, you have-nots.

Since I forgot to go to Whataburger last night on the way home from the bar, I needed some breakfast taquitos this morning after class that I miraculously attended. This cute little old lady was standing next to me, very grandmotherly.

She gets her food and she goes, "I ordered sausage, this better not be bacon." And the girl working says, "Yes ma'am they are sausage." And the grandma says, "Good because if there's bacon in here, I'm going to come back, and I'm going to kill you."

So I busted out laughing, naturally. And after the old lady left the girl said, "We've had quite a morning. Just before you got here, a guy walked in and said, 'I'm the owner of Whataburger, I need something to eat and drink right now.' And my manager said, 'No you're not. Get out.' and the guy replied, 'YOU'RE fired and YOU'RE fired and YOU'RE fired'" to everyone working there while pointing at them.

Eh, i just thought it was pretty damn funny and gave me two great new ideas for how to behave in a fast food restaurant.

I'm watching this interview with Michael Jackson. It's pretty unreal. I don't know, though. I kinda feel bad for the guy because he's obviously out of touch with reality, and you can't really blame him for being insane. Although, as I'm watching how people react to his presence everywhere he goes around the entire world, I can't help but think that he might be jesus. I mean, how many people do you know that can reduce a person to tears just by being 50 feet away? I'm sure most of you won't agree with me, especially based on the recent events. Just don't forget: jesus loved the little children.

I didn't really do anything today. I was out last night drinkin' some beers with Leslie, Josh, Rick and Steve when I got a call from Raul saying that Chris was over at Terysa's (how is that for some name dropping). So I went to chill with Chris since he left town this morning and won't be back until the Christmas break. That was a good time. When I got home, my stomach was kind of queasy, so I took a phenergin. That was a bad idea, since you're not supposed to mix it with alcohol, really. But that's just a suggestion. So, I ended up catching roughly 15 hours of sleep while missing class and work today. Whoopsadaisy. I spent the evening cooking some meat 'n cheese for me and Ryan and then preparing the mac 'n cheese for Thanksgiving at AllieD's tomorrow. Not sure what else I'm gonna do tonight. Thomas might come over and watch a DVD. I should buy a boat.

Today, I was riding the bus home from my morning class. This guy sitting across from me had left his uncapped bottle of milk sitting on the seat next to him. When we took a sharp left, the milk fell off of the seat and onto the floor where the contents exuded. There was a rather large puddle of white milk on the dark grey floor of the bus. And then we started turning, and long horizontal lines were painted. We stopped short, and then accelerated creating a grid. The more we traversed the route home, the more complex the milk painting got. By the time I got off the bus, I thought it was rather beautiful.

I wanted to find you all some kind of painting online that looked like the serendipitious modern art I was treated to, but instead I ended up looking at the Museum of Modern Art webpage for like an hour. You have got to see this exhibit called Tempo. I was very inspired. I especially liked the augmenter hammers and the chick laying on oranges. "Hold your breath and think of Spinoza." Wonderful. I think its about time for me to make a hair nest and start doing speed. (Name that allusion.)

I'm sorry you all couldn't have seen it. Maybe I'll make a painting. Probably not. I'm going to go have coffee with Topher.

So last night Thomas and I decided it would be a good idea to get drunk. I love when your plans for the evening involve nothing beyond "get drunk." It just opens up a world of opporitunity. Of course, we didn't really explore any of those options, and opted for an old favorite: sitting at Ryan and Todd's playing drinking games. Can't go wrong there.

We played several rounds of Suits to which Thomas skoffed and informed us he was "no cheap date." So Ryan fixed him up with a shot and we continued playing. Ol' Tommy had to excuse himself from the party a little early, but I suppose that was a good thing in the end since he had to be at work at 8am.

I know that I've been a little under the weather lately, but I stayed home on a Thursday so I was starting to get the shakes. Sometimes drinking while you're sick makes you sicker (see the last two weekends) but then once you pass that threshold, you can actually wash away the remaining sick cells with a good ol' toxic poisoning of beer. Mission accomplished. I feel great today. I'm about to go to Wal-Mart with Karen just for a reason to leave the house. It's been another couch-a-rific day. And in future news, Chris is coming home on Monday for Thanksgiving. We had a drunken conversation last night, that I really don't remember. But I do remember that one point. Alright, you have-nots... peace out.

I woke up yesterday feeling like absolute crap. I haven't felt like a dozen roses in a while, but this time it was especially bad. I tried to take a shower and get dressed, but I had this nagging feeling that I wasn't going anywhere. I took my temperature with the thermometer that Chris bought for me, and it registered a whopping 100.5. My nominal temperature is usually around 96, a little lower than most people, which sucks because Beautal will never acknowledge that I am running a fever. But this time, they couldn't deny it. So I decided I would go in and see if maybe they could tell me accurately this time what I've got.

I had the best doctor I've ever had at the Health Center. He was so cool. He actually looked at me, did a throat culture, spent a little time with me. The last time I went the lady didn't look or touch me, just asked my symptoms and said 'its probably strep here's some penicillin.' Well that didnt' really help. Now the guy said I still have strep, but that I've contracted the flu on top of it. So he prescribed me something for the strep, and something for the flu ... since one is bacterial and the other is viral. Then he told me to alternate between tylenol and advil every 3 hours.

Then we got to talking about drugs. I asked him for some hydrocodone and he laughed and called me a drug addict and then said 'you seriously want some? do you think you need it?' And I was like 'hmmm well its just that my throat hurts so bad.' And he was like 'well if you want it, you can have it, but i think what you really want is some cough syrup with codeine in it ... how have you been sleeping?' to which I replied, 'not well at all.' So he hands me a prescription for phenergin, which I had last April when I was having problems eating and sleeping. He prescribed it to me solely for the side effects. I have so many jars of pills that i want to buy one of those old people pill organizers.

And here just a while ago I was arguing that everyone gets the good prescriptions and I never get jack shit. I know who my new physician is. The only downside is that I have been completely out of it for the past 24 hours. When I do manage to wake up from my drug induced haze, I can barely function beyond laying on the couch. The only reason I am reaching out to now is that I just woke up from sleeping 14 hours last night, so my mind is the slightest bit clear. I'm about to go eat a handful of pills again though, so I'll catch you all the next time I come down.

I have another installment for you all in the "Have you seen this person on campus before" files. Joseph actually suggested this one to me, which was funny because I'd already planned on blogging about this girl previously. But, since I always have my pulse on the heartbeat of my viewers, I upped this blog in the precedence of future blogs. So let us begin to paint the picture...

She's not a particularly beautiful girl, but I wouldn't say wholely unattractive. She is a slightly overweight African American. She doesn't really wear weird clothing, nor does she act in any inappropriate ways, but I bet you've all seen her before.

You would recognize her by the massive cape she wears. I mean a big ass medieval-style cloak. Its huge and appears to be some sort of purple crushed velvet. My favorite part about her is that she wears her backpack underneath the monstrocity, so when she walks by, it appears as though she has a massive ass, and it always makes me giggle.

So, if you have seen this girl on campus, talked to her, run into her, thrown something at her, etc, whatever, just hit me up with a comment and let me know about your experience. If you've seen her eating lunch with the Jedi padawan, you win double secret bonus points.

UPDATE: This was Joseph's idea and I liked it so much I had to post this addendum. If anyone can snap a picture of either cape girl or padawan boy and send it to me I will give you $50. Start up your freelance photography job at SideshoViD.com. With all the picture phones out there, I'm sure this can happen. Say CHEESE!

Walking back from Yoga I saw a large crowd of people gathered around the Sul Ross statue outside of the Academic Building. My curiosity piqued, I ventured closer to find out which insane right wing christian group was starting shit. The only reason I did so is because occasionally someone will be out there yelling the word "VAGINA!" and I love playing Vagina Day games. As I got closer, I recognized the all too familiar foul stench of Tom S■■■, nationally known campus speaker. My natural instincts are to turn and run from this man, not because I'm intimidated (although I've witnessed first hand his ability to talk his way out of any logical situation) but because I think the only way to send a message to him that he's not wanted is to ignore him, not argue with him. Arguing with him is just what he wants.

Against my better jugement, I decided to see if Owen was sitting out there listening to him. Owen has some sick fascination with Tom S■■■, as well as Mormons and his friend Adrian. Alas, he was not out there, but I made the mistake of coming within earshot long enough to hear him say something about homosexuals. Then I was stuck. Here's his story pretty ver batim (that means 'word for word,' Joseph).

"I was talking up at the University of Maryland one day and a young man who identified as gay said, Tom, do you think we should kill all the homosexuals? And I said we need to save them. And he said again, Tom, do you think we should kill all of the homosexuals? And again, I said that if they found Jesus etc, he said TOM, do you think we should kill all the homosexuals?

"And this went on for about a half an hour before I finally decided to address this young man's question directly. And I said yes, I think we should kill all of the homosexuals. But first, why don't we start with the young man that corrupted and perverted you, the one who made you think you were gay. And he stopped, and his face softened, and he said, you know, Tom, you're right."

WHAT?!?! WHO THE FUCK WOULD AGREE WITH THAT?! My god this man is a fucking idiot. I don't mind so much that one guy is a fucking worthless piece of shit beyond all reason and so entrenched in a 2000 year old fairy tale praying to Mother Goose that he should be fed to the lions, but I can't believe he is allowed to spread hate throughout the nation.

This man needs to learn that what he is doing is wrong. But since he knows how to work the free speech areas, we can't exactly silence him. So this is what I uncharacteristically suggest. If you see him, lets teach him that ignorance breeds intolerance, intolerance breeds hatred, hate begets hate, and hate begets violence. So if you see him, pick up a rock or something and throw it at his face. The more adamantly you know he's wrong, the bigger the rock should be. I gotta go now, I have some bricks to throw.

Have you all seen this commercial for the new Quatro razor? Two blades is better than one. And three blades is better than two. And thats as good as it gets, right? Wrong. Introducing the new Quatro razor.

I laugh every, every time I see that commercial. Did any of you ever see that SNL commercial for the razor that had like 21 blades. The first blade cuts the hair. The second cuts it even closer. The third? Even closer. Then an amazing fourth blade cuts EVEN closer. Out of nowhere ... a fifth blade to cut even closer. The sixth blade usually completely misses the hair, but the seventh? EVEN closer.

God it was so funny. So I've decided to invent the quintro turbo razor. 5 fucking blades. Can you imagine? I'll completely trump this Quatro piece of shit.

Its almost time to get to Kyle Field to watch the Aggie beat the hell out of OSU. Deauxcheck is in town to go to the game. And then tonight is the big costume party. Ho ho ho. My prediction for the game? Aggies 69, OSU 6.

Post Script from OClay66: FYI David: I tried to find this new "quatro" you spoke of but had no luck. Then I realized it was because your miss spelled it. Its quattro no quatro (2 ´T´s). I am sure all you other international readers would appreciated the clarification and perhaps a website reference in the future. Thanks doll

I was putting off this blog because I know its going to be lengthy and I have a mid-term paper due tomorrow. But after proofreading this document for about an hour, I'm ready for a break. I'm also waiting for AllieD to come and get me to go to dinner. Marijuana ... harmless?

So I left on Saturday morning to go to Plano. I was in a particularly inertial mood so I sped the entire way like a maniac. I never speed, but I felt like it so I did. I made it in just around 2.5 hours. Shaved an entire hour off the drive. I got home still a little hungover from the night before, so I took a bath in my parent's jacuzzi tub. Decadent. Then I did my hurr, got dressed up, and headed over to the Methodic Church. Methodic weddings are so much different from cathlick. The damn thing was over in about 10 minutes. For those of you not keeping up to date on your SideshoViD.com blog, it was Allison's brother getting married. Congratulations Amanda and Matt! Allison was the second prettiest bridesmaid at the wedding.

After that it was on to the hotel where the reception was. Allison's parents got us a hotel room, which is a lot radder than my parents. OPEN BAR, DUDE! Four hours of all the Coors Light you can drink ... did I die and go to heaven? We had so much fun, because of, and in spite of the DJ. It was a small wedding and I knew most of the people there so it was a blast. After they shut down our little shindig (aka stopped giving me beer) Allison and I decided to go out to Dukes in Addison. Big ups to Delilah who slipped me a crisp, new 20 before we left. (Don't worry, I never told Allison.)

Okay, if I had to describe Duke's in one word, that word would be: rude. The door man was rude, the people there were rude, the people who worked there were rude ... and I was already wasted, at the point where I start loving everybody. I was going to this one beer bucket girl all night and buying beers, and tipping her $2 every time. Towards the end of the night cash was slipping, so I checked my wallet before I walked over there. And when I did, she goes "Do you have any money to tip me?" And I said, "Well its tight, but I've got 50 extra cents." And she has the nerve to say, "Fuck that, I'm not selling to you." WHAT?! Its GRATUITY! Its GRATUITOUS! Holy shit, I pointed out to her rather rudely (when in Rome) that I had been paying her two dollars to twist off a cap all night, and she begrudgingly sold me my last beer for a 50 cent tip she didn't deserve. Fucking bitch.

Then we came back to the hotel and started meeting strangers. We met one guy who had some beer so I invited him up. Then we met some guy who had been riding the elevator up and down all night, so naturally, he came with. Then guys from the bar started calling Allison because she'd invited them all over, and one of them came. Although we had no idea who he was based on his name. Then Allison got molested by the elevator guy, so he had to leave. When I woke up, our room only had me and Allison in it, thankfully.

So then I pretty much had to high tail it back to College Station for a special Sunday class ... bullshit. And now I'm working on this paper. Then I have the huge NASA review over the project I've been working on for 6 months. Then a mid-term on Friday and another on Tuesday. I haven't done shit in 6 weeks and all of a sudden, I'm busy. Sucks.

I made an observation on myself today. Thought I'd share it. Whenever I don't like somebody, I always refer to them in quotes. E.g.: I don't know what's up with this "David" but I don't like him. Keep that in mind, in case I ever say, Hey "%n". (For all your AIMphiles out there). Peace out.

Just a quick note to let you all know that I am going to Dallas ... again. This time it is for Allison's brother's wedding. I'm not real big on weddings, but I sure do like free booze. I should actually be on the road already, but I'll be there soon enough. I might have to speed cause the weddings at 4. Shit happens.

I went out again last night with Dustin and Trey and their friend Josh. It was a lot of fun. The reason I mention this is because ended up back at their place and our friend Ryan Byrd came over. (This is a new Ryan, I gotta quit making new Ryans.) Anyway, he got a phone call and says "I'm over here with Dustin, and Trey, and David ... I mean SideshoViD." So naturally my ears perk up and I ask who's on the other end that would recognize me as SideshoViD. It was his friend Leslie whom I've met a couple of times. She said she goes to my website "every five minutes." So to thank her, a loyal Sidesho-Viewer, I thought I'd give her a shoutout. Big ups, Les.

Beat the hell outta Baylor. My prediction: Aggies 38 Baptists -7.

Mamma Mia! Here I go again. Why, why did I ever let you go? Mamma Mia! Does it show again? My, my just how much I missed you?

Oh man, if you ever get the chance to see Mamma Mia!, the musical based on the music of ABBA, promise me you'll go. It was so damn good. They had all the best hits in there but like done up a little bit for the stage, not that they needed to be tweaked very much. There was singing, dancing, huge musical numbers, and a kickback to the insane costumes ABBA used to wear. So good. So good. I had a blast.

And we got to go to the fair, since the show was at the fairgrounds, and the state fair is going on right now. Never, ever in my life, have I ever desired to go to the fair, and this weekend I finally got the opportunity. I've never seen so many poor people huddled together spending so much money on such crap. I mean, don't get me wrong, the fair is great ... if you like crap. Crap to eat, crap to win, crap to buy. Not exactly my cup of tea. Me and my mom did go see a cheap-o free version of Lord of the Dance though, while my dad and sister rode the ferris wheel. That was kind of neat. Other than that, walking out of there, I fulfilled my dream of one day being in a rap video. There was no music or cameras, but there were plenty of big black guys walkin around in the jersey's of other citys' teams.

But I'm home now and I just went to the mall with AllieD, very good times. A boy on a motorcycle did a wheelie for us. Tres impressive. Holla back, yungin'!

Given: On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, my first class is at 8:00. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, my first class is at 9:35.

Observations: If I go to bed at 12:00 and wake up at 7:00, I am a completely unfunctioning wreck. Half the time I can't even drag my ass out of bed despite my best efforts. However, on the other days, I generally go to bed at 1:00 and get up at 8:00. There is never any problem. I hop right out of bed, take a refreshing shower and am productive all day.

Hypothesis: I have decided, based partly on my control systems class, party on my readings of string theory, and party on absolutely nothing, that it is not my fault. The earth and sun are a closed system, for our purposes here, and that sun oscilates around the earth a set frequency, generally every 24 hours. I, being something of a physical body, also have a natural frequency ... if it weren't for all the factors around me, I would oscillate at this undamped natural frequency, we will call omega. I have decided that most people's omegas are probably in tune with the sun ... this is why even if you don't sleep, you will naturally feel more awake when the sun comes up after an all nighter. I, however, have experienced a phase shift. I decided it was probably around 15 degrees from everyone else.

Conclusion: It is completely unrealistic, and a bit discriminatory actually, to expect me to perform in an 8:00 class when it is apparent that I am unable, physically, to do so. Your thoughts?

Let me add one more rule to my list of Aggie Ettiquite. After the game, go home and shower, people. It's cool to go directly to Northgate from the game, but it is not cool at midnight to be still standing around in your sweat drenched Maroon Out shirt trying to spit game. Honestly.

So Allison and I came home and showered and then went up to Northgate. That was pretty fun. I got to see some people from high school and my old roommate Cade, who apparently has cleaned up his act. Always a good time when Cade's around. So we had a couple beers on Northgate and then decided to go check out this big party that was going on. We said our goodbyes, made our way to the front of Duddley's and then made a break for it across University to the dorms where we had parked. Next thing I notice is a cop has altered his predetermined course to turn into the dorm parking lot as though he were coming after us. I jokingly recalled the story when Todd got pulled over for jaywalking and told Allison the same was going to happen to us. Telling that story might have been a bad idea.

Because we decided to avoid him. When he was on the right side of the cars, we walked on the left. As he circled around we meandered through the cars. It was becoming more and more apparent to us that this dude was trying to talk to us, so we darted through the cars and went to Moore for a while. I needed to pee and I was seeing if anyone I knew was there. My old summer roomie John was outside. So then it was time to make a break for the car. We figured that there was no way this guy was going to expend anymore energy than he already had on a stupid jaywalking ticket. Wrong. He was still there waiting for us. We went behind the dumpsters and around and got to my car without him being able to talk to us. Success.

Wrong. We pull out of the parking lot onto University and the fucking cop pulls out right behind us. At this point I'm considerably alarmed, but I don't want to say anything to Allison and get her paranoid. Turns out, she was thinking the same thing. Just to check that he was actually following me, I thought I'd get in the left lane and let him pass me. Wrong. I got in the left lane and he switched lanes as well. So now I'm officially being tailed by a cop, and I cannot show up to a party with 5-0 on my tail, so I change my destination from the party to not-the-party. And I guess the fact that I was switching back into the right lane to try and get away let him know that this was the end of the road and he hit the lights and pulled me over.

Now I'm thinking to myself that jaywalking is not that big of a deal and everyone does it, he sure did go to great lengths to catch me. So I hand him my license and he says "The reason I pulled you over was because you're wearing a black shirt." [Insert dramatic pause] WTF? Well, as the story goes, someone in a black shirt was shooting paintballs at people on Northside that night, so I guess its common practice for the police department to pull over anyone coming from Northgate wearing black, since it is, by all means, a rare and hard-to-find shirt color. Although it was fun explaining why we were totally avoiding him in the parking lot. I just told him that we were deciding whether or not to go visit people at Moore and he bought it. Whew.

So then we got to the party and proceeded to tell that story many, many times. This party was total sensory overload. I've never seen so many beautiful people under one roof. We totally took this guy up on his offer to drink as much as we wanted and I soon realized that I was not going to be driving home. But CARPOOL stops running at 3 and we were not going to leave this party at 3, far too early. Next thing you know you're waking up on some strangers couch without a care in the world. I called Allison to find out where the fuck she'd gone. Turns out she was on a couch not 10 feet away from me. It was a killer party dudes, 5 bucks to get in, but I seriously didn't mind. Rock n roll.

And the final piece of news, today is Chris's 19th birthday. I would put up a link to IM him for his birthday, but he is never online these days. So in lieu of contacting him, let me just say Happy Birthday Chris!!!

I've been putting off this blog because its going to be pretty long and I haven't really had the time to sit down and type it since I've been home. As you may know, I went home to Dallas this weekend. There's no need for pretense so we'll just jump right into the story. I got home on Friday evening and saw my mother briefly. My parents were going to Oktoberfest in Addison Friday evening and then leaving for my cousin's wedding in Denver, CO the next morning, so I really didn't get to see them. No bother though, it actually worked out better that way.

So Friday night I met up with Clay and we went to a housewarming party in Highland Park. It was the coolest house I've ever been in. It was three stories tall with four bathrooms, a huge backyard deck, beautifully decorated, a media room upstairs, and a room with some really expensive X-Men comics in it, which I appreciated. I got a little bit drunk, but we left early because we knew we were going to be getting up early on Saturday to go to Six Flags. And thats just what we did.

I woke up around 10 on Saturday and showered and got ready and Clay came and picked me up. We met up with 4 of his friends downtown and headed out to Six Flags. Has anybody been there recently? We got this thing called a Q-Bot which essentially allows you to wait in line electronically. It cost us like 60 bucks between the 6 of us, and you take this little thing around with you and you lock into rides. And it saves your spot and beeps you when its your turn to ride the ride. And then you just walk right up to the front and get on, while all the have-nots look on in disgust. It was SO fun! We got to ride every ride in the park without once waiting in line. Its actually genius on so many levels though, because if you're standing in a line for 2 hours, thats 2 hours that you're not spending money. The Q-Bot freed us up to walk around and buy shit all day long. I really only spent money on water the entire time, so I didn't lose too much. I did get my knife confiscated at the door though, that was pretty funny.

Anyway, then everyone was planning on going out, but I, naturally, had to go home and shower. I was exhausted by the time I was ready to head back to Dallas, but being the trooper I am, I managed somehow. I called up Ryan S■■■ to see if he was going out and he was, so instead of going back out with the group of new friends I'd just made, I called and left them a message saying maybe I'd see them out and went to Ryan's. Good thing I didn't rely on them, too, cause apparently they went home and fell asleep for the entire night. Anyway, Ryan and I got ready and picked up his friend David S■■■■■■ and went out downtown. We started out at JR's and the beers were not really making me feel well, so by the time we went into the Village, I was ready to just sit down. I was really falling asleep. So I did just that. I have no qualms, people probably just thought I was rolling to hard anyway. But I wasn't a total drag the whole night, I got up and danced a little bit although I didn't drink anymore. By the time we ended up at a late night restaurant watching these two scarf down chinese food, I was about to fall asleep on the table. We finally got back to Ryan's around 4 and I just crashed there because I was too tired to do anything else.

The next morning Ryan made some delicious pancakes, I borrowed a shirt (it says Texas is for Lovers and I liked it so much that Ryan gave it to me -- THANKS!), and we went back downtown for the parade. It was so much fun. We were catching beads and stuff. Ryan took an assload of pictures, but he took them with film (who does that). So as soon as he gets some scanned in, I can put them up here for you to enjoy. The parade was nuts, we ate some lunch. After the parade there was like a political rally and the people for Howard Dean were there. I got a button for my bag. It looks quite striking next to my peace propaganda. After that we took a nap and then I hit the road bound for College Station.

All in all it was one of the most fun weekends of my life. I really needed that. Thanks to everyone who was influential in making it happen. In other news, I pulled some handi-capable tickets to the game on Saturday against Pittsburg. Allison and I are going to be on the front row of the second deck for a game that is going to be televised on ABC. We want to wear T-shirts that spell something out, but so far all I can think of it either "GO" or "TX" or "AM". Any ideas? I'll tell you one thing though, it'll be nice to be sitting through all of those damn TV timeouts. I predict we will win 67 to 12.

And in international news, I've decided to leave the country. I'm not sure when, but lets just say ASAP. My new dream in life is to move to Germany and get a job writing technical documentation for German companies auf Englisch. I guess in reality it would be better if I could be a straight up translator, but I'm probably at least a year away from that. I used to be almost fluent, but not so much these days. Anyway, I think that's about enough blog for now, thank you for your patience, you have-nots. Laaaaaaaaaate.

The other day on campus I saw a guy with a Jedi padawan hair cut. As embarassing as it is that I knew it was a padawan (hopefully, I'm misspelling it), he should be 10 times as embarassed to have the haircut. I would waste my time going to find a picture of it for you all, but meh. Its like a normal haircut but it has a tiny little pony tail in the back. The point of my story is that it was ridiculous looking and despite the fact that I've never been a physical bully, I was compelled to push his books out of his hands.

In other news, I hadn't talked to Brandon in over a month, and decided I would give him a call the other day. Turns out his phone had been disconnected, and I didn't have his new number. No biggie. I sit on the issue for a couple of days. Then I was talking to Dave and he mentioned that Brandon had gotten a new phone and shared that number with me. I wasn't particularly busy so I phoned him up to see how he's doing. The conversation went something like this:
ViD: "Hey, how are you."
Brandon: "I'm good, how are you?"
ViD: "Good, good, keepin busy with school, you?"
Brandon: "Oh I've just been working a lot"
ViD: "cool ..."
Brandon: "Did you call me today because its my birthday?"

Haha, whoops. Of course I forgot when his birthday was, I have a hard time remembering my own birthday, but I just thought that it was funny amongst the birthday calls to get a ring from me and me have no idea. I tried for about 30 seconds to play it off like I'd totally known, obviously, why else would I call. But he didn't fall for it. So I had to fess up. Oh well.

My hand is healing nicely, the red spot is getting smaller. It still hurts like a bitch. And in response to several recent inquiries, yes, I REALLY did stick a 9V battery to my braces and I REALLY did flash a flash bulb in my eye. So sue me.

And of course bundt cake is spelled b-u-n-d-t but it wouldn't have made sense in the context to spell it that way, smarty pants.

I just got done with my first real session of yoga, and holy crap was it hard. The entire thing is isometric, which looks easy, but man my muscles were burning up. The stretching we did last week felt so good and was totally relaxing. And we did it again this week but then followed it up with some yoga that could only be described as aerobic. And anyone who knows me knows I'm not down with the aerobics. But, this is the class, and I love it for what it is, and I'm going to give it my all.

That Quotes and Convos excerpt from my conversation with Sean (TAMUROCKS) has gotten me thinking. Maybe there should be a Miss Quoting Pageant. That would certainly be more entertaining to watch than the Miss America Pageant. She could go up to the mic and the announcer would say, "1 minute on the clock, top ten answers on the board. Chris Farley." And the contestant would say, "I've been using your product for a year now, and I'm still excited. They have a thin candy shell, I'm surprised you didn't know that. Hey Dad, I don't see too good, is that Bill Shakespeare over there? Lay off me I'm starving." And then the buzzer would sound and the results would be tabulated... God, thats a good idea.

Always one to try and share the wealth of visitors that I have on a daily basis, I have to announce the conception of another new blog. Chris (henceforth known as Topher ... his collegiate persona) has started a blog of his own. You can click here to read it, its pretty a pretty clever little page. Thats him up top in the cowboy hat for the one or two of you who haven't spoken to me in the past 4 months and don't know who he is. *wink*

So as I was walking back from yoga there was a young man, about my age, standing out by the ol' Sul Ross statue ... better known as the free speech area of campus. And right around as I got into the audible range, before I could make out individual words, I just knew that he was yelling about god or jebus or something. Nobody talks that loud in public unless they're spouting off some shit no one wants to hear. He was talking about how his friend went into a coma and he saved his life. Because the incompetant doctors with all their book smarts had said that if he recovered from the coma he wouldn't ever be the same. So this kid, being smarter than the doctors, started praying and cured his friend. Christ on a cracker, desperate people so often cling to desperate notions. I wavered between laughing, crying and wailing on him with my tennis elbow. But ultimately, I did nothing but ignore him, as I do most people on campus.

Speaking of, kind of funny. My friend Charlie is a senior in the corps. Don't ask how I got mixed up with a corps boy but I did. So I hear this corps boy (they all look the same to me) yell, "Hey!" And I ignore him, of course. And then I heard it again. And I was thinking that he was probably upset about the fact that the patch on my bag says, "War is not healthy for children and other living things," ala John Denver's Whose Garden is This album cover. And we all know corps boys are not taught, but trained, so I figured he was reacting to the stimulus of rationale. But then he finally caught up to me, boots clanking the whole way and grabbed my shoulder. He's lucky I'm incapable of inflicting any harm, unwilling to exert myself, untrained in any self defense, and lacking all sense of reflexes, or I might have flipped him over and put him in a hold. Damn lucky. Instead, I realized that it was my friend and said hi. Kind of anti-climactic, but I enjoyed the happy ending.

That's about all from the home front. I'm attempting to blog every day this week, but hesitant to make that claim cause I'll probably forgo one day this weekend. But I am starting to see my numbers steadily rise and I can only contribute it to my own dedication. So keep checking back. Peace out, you have nots.

When you walk into my bathroom at the new apartment, it feels akin to a carnival fun house. The mirror is a good 6 inches too low to fix my hair. The ceiling is less than a foot above my head. And the shower sprays directly onto my chest. Just getting ready in the morning has become a bit of an acrobatic adventure.

I decided I didn't like my new hair cut last night, so I gave myself a new one. I think it looks pretty good, and the hair in the sink looked as though I'd opened my own barber shop (on account that it was 4 different naturally occuring colors). I'm gonna get Todd to thin out the sides and back for me some time. I trust him, though I don't know why. He gave me one good haircut about 3 years ago ... which makes him the most experienced of any of my friends.

Owen came back in town last night, plugged in his computer and got on the internet without any problems whatsoever. We troubleshot and determined that my wall jack is jacked. Typical. Chris leaves for Yale tomorrow so we're gonna go out and party one last time. And then tomorrow is Ryan's birfday, and we're gonna party like its his birfday. More on that, after this ...

Yesterday was really fun, but weird at the same time. I have never been so clueless about what time it is in all my life. It may not sound that mind boggling to any of you; however, I will still attempt to explain. So I woke up on Saturday at 10am because I had told my boss that I would come into work and mill out a circuit board. I was so hungover it wasn't even funny, which sucked cause I didn't even get drunk the night before. I guess these things happen. Or maybe I was genuinely ill, but just didn't notice because I drink too much. Either way, I was not rested and my head was pounding. So I called my boss to see if he had finished the design for the board and thankfully he had not, so I went back to bed.

Allison came into town to move into her new shithole, I mean, apartment. It's modest, we'll just say it that way. Anywho, I had to go move heavy things in the hot sun which really helped my temperment. Then I had lunch with AllieD, Jaime and AllieD's mom whom I'd never met before. That was delicious although Los Cucos has about the worst service I've ever seen (and I've eaten at Kerrie's Stacked Enchiladas). So anyway, after I was done with all that, I went home and fell asleep. I woke up around 5pm cause Todd called me to go meet him out at the Campus Lodge pool. Enter beer.

There were some random people in the pool that were pretty cool. They had this little game called Alcohol Poisoning. It was really quite clever. There was a basketball hoop, and the rules were a lot like Horse. The only twist is that anytime you miss a shot, you have to drink an entire beer. And you play until somebody spells out Alcohol Poisoning. I'm not a big sports guy, so I neglected the invitation to play but I did drink a bunch of beer and get some sun. Great day. I went home and absolutely crashed.

I wake up at like midnight with no concept of where I am or whats happened. And I see 7 missed calls on my cell phone between two people. So I called Chris and we went out for like an hour until the bars quit serving and I managed to get a little drunk all over again. I went home and thanks to the fact that Todd never called me back (jackass) I fell asleep in my recliner ... again. Now all of a sudden its 6am and I'm not tired anymore. So I made myself some food since I hadn't eaten the night before, took a shower, and went to bed.

I wake up again at 11, pay some bills, clean up a little, and I'm thinking, "wow its almost dinner time," when I look at the clock and realize that its only 12:30 and time is absolutely dragging by. So here I am at work, taking advantage of the internet connection. I was hoping my boss would have sent me the design to mill and I could do that today cause I'm so fucking bored, but alas, in true style he did not. Oh well, I guess I'll just sit here for a couple more hours and then go chill in my empty apartment some more. I'll catch you sluts on the flip side. Laaaaaaaate.

Still no internet at mi casa. I haven't really tried to figure out what is wrong aside from repeatedly plugging my ethernet cable into the wall and trying to open AIM. I don't really care all that much, since I'm online all day at work, but it would be nice. In my boredom of being unplugged, I have been finding other, equally unproductive things to do with my time while I sit home alone in my big empty apartment. Of course, it would make sense to clean and put stuff away, but I have yet to put away more than one thing per day. I like to pace myself, y'know. Don't want to have a heart attack.

Last night I played guitar for a while and decided to set up my recording studio. Alas, I could not locate the AC adapter for my 4-track recorder so I got frustrated and quit. Then I sat down at the computer and recorded myself singing 3/4th's of a second of each note in the chromatic scale. Then, using Sound Recorder, I mixed and inserted notes strategically to build chords and progressions. It was really fun and time consuming. I just ate breakfast with Chris and he said that he would bring over some of his piano sheet music for me to recreate with my glorious voice tonight. Could be fun.

Two nights ago I watched the Most Outrageous TV Game Show Moments 3, or something to that effect. In between clips, they went around and asked people in the mall trivia questions. They asked one guy how big his epidermis was, and he said about 7 inches. They asked another guy what he thinks about when he masticates and he said women. One woman said that a hot guy would cause her angina to act up. As a grammar cop, I was horrified and gave them all mental citations. Friends don't let friends be stoopid. Peace, my friends, and good night.

I was really waiting to update this story until I could get some photographic evidence of the athletic prowess involved, but unfortunately that requires a third person to act as photographer. And as it were, nothing of note has happened since my last post to fill the void. Anyway, me and the roomie, Joanna were sittin around the kitchen with nothing to do so I made her a friendly wager that whoever could touch their butt to the ceiling first got $100 from the other person. I really didn't think it was a possibility that either one of us would be able to do it, so I was pretty comfortable making that large of a bet and agreeing to it for her.

Once the deal was sealed, we both set out trying to figure out how on earth to get our asses so high up in the air. I tried bracing myself with the kitchen counter and walking up the wall, but I have no leg muscles. So the next idea was to walk up the wall over by the dryer where it is reasonably spaced for just such a task.

In the end, it was teamwork that was necessary in order to touch one's ass to the ceiling. Joanna got in position, and I propped her up while she got her feet set. Then as she walked up the wall, I got underneath her and lifted her up. Despite her wishes to come down, I lifted her higher and higher. My friend, Chris, happened to walk in just then and I think he was ... um ... lets just say, impressed. Anyway, i eventually had my arms completely extended pressing Joanna's ass against the ceiling of our duplex and only then did she come down.

I was pivotal to her winning so I didn't feel the need to pay her. Not that I was going to anyway.

So karaoke night at Shadow Canyon was fun. So much for no more drinking on weekdays, but this was a special occasion ... we call it Wednesday. I met up with Ryan and Todd and headed to watch some of the worst and some of the best karaoke I have ever seen. My friend Chris dropped by for a while as well, but now he's gone to Austin for the next 3 weeks.

Anyway, I'm just blabbing to try and make this blog an acceptable length. The real reason I'm blogging is to encourage you all to download the new song of the day, White Stripes - Seven Nation Army. It fucking rawks. I've had it on repeat here in the office for a while and nobody is complaining yet. We'll see how they feel after a week of this. Peace out.