Happy Easter everybody. Good luck out there searching for eggs (?) made of chocolate (?) that came out the butt (?) of a rabbit (?). I'm not 100% sure about the mechanics of that, but nonetheless, have fun. I'm just hoping this means that the gym will be close to empty.

Speaking of, there is this new scourge at the gym. It only started recently, but it is spreading. Grown men with ear buds in listening to music at full volume -- SINGING ALONG. WTF. Like OUT LOUD. And as annoying as singing would be to people around you, when you can't hear yourself at all, it's a special kind of horrible. I know of at least 5 people off the top of my head that I will not get on the treadmill next to or sit next to on the stretching mat because I know they'll break out into wincing, breathy, high pitched song the second I do. I wish I was more confrontational, so I could just tap them on the shoulder and ask, "What the fuck is wrong with you?" but instead I just shoot dirty looks that are not understood.

Normally for Easter lately we get together with my parents and have a smorgasbord of food from Honey Baked Hams. I even have a rewards number on honeybaked.com. But between you and me, all of their food is garbage. I mean, the ham is okay, but they also have these boxed sides and everything is just horrible. My dad had a little procedure on Friday and wasn't sure if he'd be up for it, so I was more than happy to accept their decline of getting together. Daniel did ask me what he should buy at the store as a special treat and I said he could buy some eggs and I'll make deviled eggs with salmon roe. That will be our homage to Easter.

There's a new fashion craze sweeping the nation. Now channel the spirits of Slater, Lisa and Jessie and imagine me saying this in the correct whispered repetitious Buddy Bands manner:

MegaBlinds. MegaBlinds. MegaBlinds.

It has always bothered me that there isn't an opaque eyewear available on the market. Every time that I lay out, regardless of how dark or how big my sunglasses are, as soon as I lay on my back, the sun is blinding me right through my eyelids. So I end up with my hands in front of my face all day. Well not anymore. Miniblinds are for fat old housewives. MegaBlinds are only for the most outrageous socialites and celebutants. They're perfectly timeless yet totally today.

Using a closely guarded family recipe which combines fashion and function, MegaBlinds will block the sun, or anything else you want to avoid, while making you look like a million bucks. The secret comes from the exclusive MegaBlinds rhinestone quarry. Each jewel is certfied flawless and hand crafted to guarantee the maximum amount of sparkle.

And they're not just for the pool anymore. Going to the same club as your ex tonight and want to make sure you don't even acknowledge their existence? Slap on a pair of MegaBlinds and drink well, knowing your head won't turn when they walk by. Hungover and can't get back to sleep because the sun is pouring into your bedroom? Turn that hangover upsidedown with MegaBlinds.

I really think this could catch on. If you could all do me a favor and spread the word. Seeing is believing, and you'll never see again. MegaBlinds retail for a low, low introductory rate of $350, so if you would like a pair, be sure to get your order in early. Each pair of MegaBlinds is hand crafted and completely customized, and the orders are already pouring in. When things are expensive, it makes people want them. Thanks in advance for telling all your friends!

Warning: Mega-Blinds not intended for use while driving. Or walking.

Never being one to disappoint my most loyal Sidesho-Viewers, I thought I would do my old roomie, Keiffer, a favor and update my page. He told me that since he's been home he has checked my webpage every day in order to feel like a part of him is still in College Station. I was much chagrined at the fact that my best viewer was sitting expectantly day after day and I was only updating once a week. So to Keiffer, I apologize. And to all the ladies of Flower Mound -- this one's single!

Today, Owen and I sealed the deal on our apartment for next semester. Looks like its off to Sundance for yours truly. Its a pretty nice place, especially after the floors, cabinets and fume hood are replaced. They drew the line at crown molding though. Bastards.

I just got a call from the Aussie Allison. She is finally back from her world tour. I might head on up to P-town this weekend to see her and Keiff and some others. I'll have to keep you all posted on that venture. Until then, I bid you all adieu. And, Keith, go make some friends. Laaaaaaaate.