I don't know if you've noticed the conspicuous omission of any posts about Febrehab this year. It's not that I'm not doing -- I am. It's just that it's really not much of a challenge this year. I really don't drink a whole lot these days. And, I wasn't going to mention this publicly, just in case, but now I think it's pretty official: I quit smoking 6 months ago.

Right when we got back from Owen's wedding when I wasn't feeling well, I didn't smoke and then I just kind of figured I would keep it going just for the hell of it. So now that's that. I don't foresee myself ever going back to it. I don't even miss it.

But that does kind of take the fun out of rehab if you're not addicted to anything. But this year I am trying to focus on sleeping more, so I've moved my bedtime up to 10:30pm. I do not stay up past that for any reason. And the other side challenge is to do something cultural in Dallas each weekend in February. So yesterday JennyCole came into town and we went with her to the Dallas Museum of Art. Got some general admission passes and walked around and looked at art. She'd been there 100 times, Daniel had been a few times, but I've never been. It was a really fun way to spend the afternoon. Then we came back and chit chatted for a while and then Jenny had to leave.

So far so good, just not a lot to report so I've kind of forgotten to keep the blog up to date, but you're probably getting used to that these days, no?

Don't worry, Toyota. I figured it out:

The good news is that the neurologist was pretty sure he'd found was what wrong with me. He made me do all sorts of goofy shit like walking a straight line, standing on one foot with my eyes closed. Then he made me lay with my head off the edge of a table and forced my head back and forth and told me to look in extremely opposite directions. I didn't know this, but I've since learned on YouTube, that when you're experiencing vertigo your eyes go through a certain REM. And based on the pattern that your eyes jerk around they can tell you exactly which ear has the problem.

I have what is called benign positional vertigo. It's called "benign" because in and of itself it causes no harm to anything, although it does freak people out and make them think they have tumors and whatnot. But what it is is actually an inner ear malfunction that can be brought on by everything from an ear infection to absolutely no reason. You have three semi-circular canals in your inner ear on the X, Y, Z coordinate planes. Each one is filled with fluid and has a hair with a calcium carbonate rock on the end. When you turn your head certain directions the fluid flows and pushes on the rock letting your brain know that you've moved to a certain position. Well pieces of that calcium carbonate can break off and become free floating in to the canal, running into things and causing the sensation of motion.

To flush these particles out of the canal you do what is called the Epley Maneuver, which basically consists of laying down with your head at certain angles with respect to gravity. And switching between each position will cause fluid to go in just one direction hopefully taking any dislodged rocks along with it. It's the simplest, least invasive cure to any disease I've ever seen. And I am thrilled to say it is working for me. I'm like 3 days now no sudden overwhelming vertigo. So yay.

Unfortunately, the anxiety associated with thinking I'm gonna die at any moment is lingering. I've read websites that say your body just becomes sort of addicted to that adrenaline rush of anxiety. After a while instead of thoughts causing the chemical reaction, it's actually the chemical reaction that causes the thoughts. And you have to really concentrate to break that association and wean yourself from that addiction. I liken it to losing weight. It's really easy to sit around and get fat, but to get skinny again takes a concerted effort. So I've been really trying to remain.calm and do things that are relaxing at night like taking baths, reading, and going to bed early. I would have to say it gets better almost every day, but like tonight I drank a beer and was all dizzy in the head walking home and now I'm all worked up that the calcium carbonate rocks were just one problem in a sea of many. Gotta do my best to break that train of thought.

So the saga continues. I think through sleep, exercise, multivitamins, yoga and massages I will see the light on the other side. I will tell you this though, it gives me a whole new appreciation for psychiatric medicine. I would NOT want to live like this forever just gripped by fear for no reason. I've always been of the mindset that people should just get over it, but now having experienced the truly involuntary reactions in my brain, I know that it is not an option. But hopefully the more dizzy-free days I have the more relaxed I will become. But I think I will remain forever grateful if this does pass that I am able to live a normal life. Here's hopin.

But at least now if any of you experience sudden overwhelming vertigo you can laugh it off because now you know it's probably just rocks in your ears.

Now we enter a new chapter in my life: The crazy years. Let me see if I can preface this well enough. 5 months ago everything was grand. I flew to San Diego for a wedding, and while I was there I got very, very dizzy. This incessant dizziness was coupled with my heart skipping beats. I said nothing just wanting to get on a plane and come home. And when I did, I finally told Daniel how I had been feeling all day and he took me to the ER.

They took blood. They took XRays. They did an MRI and a catscan. They measured my blood pressure laying, sitting, standing. I subsequently went to a cardiologist and had a full workup stress test of my heart done. Everything comes back saying everything is normal. And yet, I'm still dizzy.

A while back the dizziness was accompanied with what I can only describe as a panic attack. I'd lay on the couch, somewhat spinning, heart racing, palms sweaty, adrenaline pumping. I went to the doctor and she prescribed me anti-anxiety medicine. But I was in the process of buying this condo. So everyone was like it's probably just stress from that. And as soon as everything was squared away and finalized, the anxiety went away so I brushed it off and carried on.

Well now it's back and worse than before. I have varying degrees of vertigo but it's pretty much a daily occurrence. I haven't been able to walk down a hallway free of fear of falling down or passing out now for 5 months. And the past few days I've been so worked up over it that I've skipped meals and I've been sleeping 12+ hours every day and never feeling the least bit rested. So I went BACK to the doctor. This time she made me an appointment with a neurologist for tomorrow morning and gave me a prescription to Xanax.

Now, I'm a bit of a Xanaxpert when it comes to abusing the drug. I've seen what it does to people who take it every hour on the hour. But I've never tried it myself. I think I will take half of one tonight just to try and guarantee a peaceful night. I've been told I will probably just pass out. But if I can just make it through a decent meal and get some rest, I think that will be the best for me.

If the neurologist finds nothing then I am truly crazy, hypochondriac and I need to be locked away for good. More news when I have it.

I think Facebook is to blame for the decline in the number of posts that I make on SVC. It used to be that I'd save up every little thought and occasionally combine them into a blog. But now that I essentially tweet, those little thoughts leak out until I have nothing left to say when a blog comes around. Even todays post has generally been addressed already on Facebook. I already posted this picture. But I think it is badass enough to warrant showing it to my Sidesho Viewers who may not be avid social networkers.

So we paid painters to come in and paint every last inch of wall space in the condo. And they did an amazing job. If you ever need painters, let me know and I'll recommend them to you. But in the bedroom we knew that we wanted to do something funky, something with stripes, and we wanted to do it ourselves. After the base coat of regal plum went down, I was already in love with the palette. The white trim really pops out against the dark, dark purple. And since the lights are rarely very high in this space, it's not really purple, it's just rich and dark. But I wanted to kind of vomit color on it, make it a little cacophonous. And the design I came up with was a technicolor barcode. It cost a lot of money for a bunch of little cans of paint, and took two solid days of taping and painting and taping and painting, but we finally arrived at this final result:

And I love it. I think its the best bedroom I've done so far. Now you KNOW I don't like to toot my own horn, but just this once, in this special situation, I think it's well deserved. TOOT! TOOT!

Party in the USA

--Miley Cyrus

Dear Heloise:

My hint for removing lint is this: I place the clothing on the ironing board, then take a long piece of masking tape and press it onto the article. Peel off and move on to the next section. Works great!

BARBARA, via e-mail

SideshoViD says: Oh my g*d. Somebody help me put my head between my legs, I think I'm going to pass out. Babs should be charged with crimes agaist humanity for keeping this a secret as long as she has. Her ability to find alternate uses for common, every-day objects is astounding. I've tried butter, ball bearings, pieces of ribbon ... none of them removed lint. TAPE! All along it was plain masking tape that was the missing piece of the equation. As my brother says, somebody should tell her they sell tape on rollers specifically designed for removing lint. It would blow her fucking mind!

Free Kinoki Pads for the first 100 viewers willing to stick them on their tongues and butts.

Do Kinoki Pads work? Scientific proof of Kinoki Pads effectiveness.

August Rush

Starring: Patch Adams, Felicity, Charlie, Brian Slade

Rating: 5 out of 5 Rhapsodies in C major

I have two categories of movies. The best movie ever made, and the worst movie ever made. Most everything falls into one of these two categories ... the rest, I haven't seen. Well, scratch all that, because they've all just been demoted by the best movie I've ever seen.

I'm speaking about August Rush. Everything about this movie was perfection. The actors, the story, the music. I cried from about 15 minutes into the movie until the end, where the water works went into full gear.

It's basically a story about a boy, the product of a one night stand, who is given up for adoption unbeknownst to his unconscious mother. He is a musical prodigy, the son of a concert cellist and a rock band lead singer. Two people who truly loved each other but were torn apart by circumstance. When her father tells her her son is alive as he lays on his death bed, she sets out to find him, but fate has already set their meeting in motion.

Music is the cosmic symphony that binds all living things together. When August asks if everyone can hear it, Robin Williams replies, "Not everyone is listening."

Holy hell, go see this movie now. And also, buy the soundtrack. Best. Movie. Ever.