Last night we attended a charity gala. I wouldn't say we're exactly gallerinas, but this one was pretty fun. We got some "free" tickets because my dad had made a donation in honor of his late brother, so there was some obligation to go. Plus this is one of the charities I've worked with in my side gig and I know the founder well, so ... we put on suit jackets despite the 100+ temperatures and set out for a warehouse venue near the Galleria.

What was funny is that it was on some random street we've never heard of or seen, and yet just the night before we were like 3 doors down. We went and saw a traveling exhibit of the Trump Epstein Files Reading Room. They printed out all 3 million pages of redacted released files, and put them into volumes on rows and rows of book cases. We promptly started pulling books out and leafing through them looking for a previously unnoticed gold nugget. Some dude came up and said, "I don't think you're actually supposed to touch the books." Which then made us paranoid so we stopped. But it was called "reading room" so I don't get what the hell else you were supposed to do there. It ended up taking like 10 minutes to get thru and then we went to dinner.

Anyway, the gala was fun. It was very inspiring to be in a room full of people who care about other people when that seems to be in low supply these days. Some of the residents of the homeless shelter program even took the mic and spoke about their experiences, which was moving. I got a little emotional when one by one they said how terrible things had gotten that they googled for help and found this organization #1 in the list, because I'm the one that got that all set up and working. So that was cool to remember that things you've done previously can continue to have a ripple effect.

Great meal, good conversations, made a little donation in excess of what we do monthly (and doubled it using my employer), so all in all I'd say it was a wonderful evening.

This is kind of turning into a travel blog, but that's usually the only thing of note going on lately. I'll try to come up with a few different topics here after this. But, we just got back from New Orleans. It was technically my second time there, but first time since I started forming and retaining memories.

The main reason we decided to go now was for Ben's 40th birthday party, which happened to coincide with a big gay festival, Southern Decadence and some big late night party called the Horsemeat Disco. Getting to NOLA is beyond easy. We took Southwest out of Love because Daniel had a leftover flight credit from his short lived stint at the startup and we needed to use it or lose it. We normally will only fly American because we're holding onto gold status by our fingernails these days, but it made sense to this time not to. And boy does that eliminate a lot of stress. Love is down the street, we could practically walk there. And the flight was barely an hour long, so easy.

We really had a nice time in the city. The food is great everywhere we went. Great drinks, good nightlife. The night of Horsemeat Disco we took a little disco nap and made it out. We had purchased new clothes just for the event so we would be ever so slightly appropriately dressed. Turned out we were almost the only ones wearing clothes. Lots of butts hanging out everywhere. It was crowded. It was stinky. You could hardly move much less dance, could hardly talk. All in all, I'd have to say not my scene. But I did my best to hang and have a good time, mostly by imbibing.

The next day we went to the Southern Decadence parade. It was so hot. It was so crowded. It was impossible to do anything, so when our friend Ashley had to head for the airport to get back to her kids, we took it as an excuse to escort her back to our hotel where she'd stashed her bag and then we went to the pool. All in all, I'd have to say not my scene. My scene gets more and more specificity added to it every year. Luckily Daniel agrees.

Our last night we went out to dinner in the French Quarter, had a lovely meal, and then strolled down Bourbon Street on our way back to the hotel. At the end of the street a complete nut job had set up an amplifier with a microphone and had dip shits on either side holding big placard signs letting us all know that we were going to hell. When he saw Daniel and me, he singled us out and started harassing us. Daniel grabbed my hand and we told them to fuck off as we walked by. What a downer at the end of the trip.

It did get me thinking though. The analogous opposite of that just truly doesn't exist. Nobody ever sits outside of churches on Sunday morning with big signs saying "None of this is real!" or "You're all morons!" while someone screams at them in a microphone, "You're not going to heaven when you die dipshit!" So ... looking for volunteers for next Sunday. Let's liberate a few minds from the clutches of Idiocracy!

I'm cheating again and I'm going to backdate this blog. I used to just say sorry I am so late getting around to it, but these days I use my blog like a Time Hop, so I'd rather have a semi-accurate date on it depending on the story I'm telling. But I digress. We just got back from a long weekend in NYC.

We've struggled to find our place there. Different hotels, different neighborhoods, nothing ever really felt right. Well, folks, you'll be as thrilled to hear as I am thrilled to announce - we finally found our home away from home in New York. The Chelsea Hotel. It's this super old building with a rich and storied history of being a haven for artists and musicians. But it's been bought out and turned mostly into a high end hotel. I say mostly because some people still live there, so walking down the hall to our hotel room, we passed two residents' doors. I assume that is occasionally annoying but it probably also basically saved the building so take what you can get. There were three restaurants, and we tried two. Both were fab. And we'd go to the bar at night for courvoisier and freshly baked chocolate chip cookies.

I'd never been to a Broadway show so Daniel got us tickets to two shows while we were there. One was Oh Mary! starring Meg Stalter. I love her to death and she did an amazing job, but ... eh. It was like bawdy and irreverent for the sake of it. I didn't really think it was that CLEVER or anything. Funny enough and we had a great time watching. But ... nothing like our second show Titanique - the telling of the story of the Titanic from Celine Dion's perspective. It was continuously riotously funny throughout with the best music and dancing. Loved it. Loved it.

What else? We went to the Met. Daniel had tried to gaslight me into believing I'd been to the Met before, but I definitely hadn't. Then we walked through Central Park and later on through Hudson River Park, and yowzah the eye candy. I definitely need to step it up or start taking peptides or something. We also saw Davbart and he and Colin took us out to a more traditional Chinese brunch that was completely chaos and then to the Tenement Museum which was super cool and I would def go back to that.

I don't know if New York changed, or if I changed, but I really enjoy it more now than when I was younger. I was even commenting that like nobody was rude the whole time. To us or otherwise. People on the subway said, "Pardon me," when it was their stop. Staff everywhere just super welcoming and friendly. Idk, it is just so enjoyable now where I didn't feel like that 20 years ago. The only thing I didn't like was that EVERY FUCKING ONE was playing Alicia Key's "New York" on repeat. Every store, every pedicab, everywhere you went, you'd sometimes even hear 2 or 3 renditions going on out of sync simultaneously. PEOPLE! There are SO MANY songs about New York. Mix it up!

Then whoosh, we were back home. A super fun little trip for no particular reason. And one we'll hopefully start to do with more regularity.

Well, I happened to notice that today marks exactly one year since my glorious return to SideshoViD.com. I just did a quick inventory and I made 38 posts in that year. That's actually a lot more than I was expecting. Though I have to say the addition of Instagram-like and Twitter-esque formats really helps boost those numbers. I wish I had thought of that back in 2002.

I came back from Spain, felt fine, went to work for a week, etc. Then Saturday afternoon I started to feel kind of shitty. I was sick right before Spain, so given how quickly I was feeling sick again, I decided to do what I never do and go straight to a doctor to get tested and find out what is ailing me. The doctor just called and said my test results were unusual, so it would be easier to explain over the phone (ALWAYS a good sign). I tested positive concurrently for 3 infections - a coronavirus (not COVID), an influenza bacteria (not the flu), and whooping cough? Fuck me. But the good news is a zpack will wipe out both bacteria at the same time, so I guess it's a good thing I went to the doctor straight away instead of waiting 3 weeks to see if it resolved on its own. Maybe I should do that every time I get sick. Is that what doctors are for?

In other news, I've been making minimal efforts to drink marginally less. One way I have done that occasionally is zebra striping. That's where you alternate one alcoholic drink, then one non alcoholic drink. The problem is, every non alcoholic drink sucks ass. They're just juice. Like, don't serve me a glass of juice and call it a MOCKTAIL. That is infuriating. So I went on a quest of my own to make a zero proof cocktail at home. Problem is, fake "liquors" are even worse. They're not even juice, they're just tea. Like literally a weak brewed spicy tea and they call it a whiskey replacement. It's insulting.

Well, folks, I am pleased to report I finally found a good one. I was talking through it with AI, because obviously, and I told it I wanted the bite, the flavor, the viscosity, the burn, the aroma, like everything. And it came up with 3 suggestions. We happened to be at Total Wine this weekend so I bought one of them. I told Daniel, "If this sucks, I'm giving up entirely." But it didn't suck. It's awesome. It's St. Agrestis Phony Negroni. And it pretty much tastes exactly like a real Negroni. Very satisfying and very reassuring that I should check out the other two AI suggestions and maybe get a repertoire going. We'll see, but I'll keep you all posted if I don't die first.

The Dow closed today at a record high. I know that because I am a stock holder. I earned $3 today. And I didn't do anything. I am only in for $200 at this point, but already I'm up to $206 total. I love this. I want to put more money into the stock market but I have priorities first. My year long struggle to save up six months worth of expenses was set back a tad by the Vegas trip in December I just paid for. But it's still within reach. I have a new plan to spend only $100 a week (excluding recurring bills) for the next two months. If I can do that, then I can truly reap the benefit of the extra paycheck in November and I could potentially stash like 5 grand. That's only if I stay absolutely disciplined, which has never happened before. But there's a first time for everything.

Daniel's Windows Vista laptop has chess as one of the games on it. I put it at the easiest level 1 beginner setting and it consistently has whooped my ass. Like not even close. I am dedicated though. I keep playing it over and over again and I will continue to do so until I can beat the beginner level. I'm starting to get a little bit better. Like I can tell how or why they destroyed me as opposed to when I first started and was basically playing checkers against a computer playing chess. I think a few months of practice and I could really get good. Of course if I had any idea what was going on, or a friend who knew (wink, wink) I could accelerate that learning curve a little bit. Let me know if you're a grand dragon, or whatever they call it when you're really good at chess.

I was really hoping for more comments on my finished bar, but finally decided I couldn't milk it any longer. It's been pretty fun having it. The beer fridge is installed, fit perfectly, and keeps my brewskis frigid. Of course now I think it's a hassle to get up and walk 3 steps to get another beer so I might have to rig up some sort of couch delivery system next. I'll keep you posted on that.

The other night I got Daniel a popsicle. He said, "What flavor is it?" to which I replied, "Purple." "No, what flavor?" as if I am some kind of fucktard and didn't hear him. Back me up on this, but purple is most definitely a flavor. In fact, I think this is so common that even this joke is recycled.

Man, what the fuck is juice? I want some drink.

I spent the afternoon layin around watching TV. I saw this show about lottery winners and how their lives had changed since winning. It kind of made me want to win the lottery. So when I went to pay my rent, I stopped off and got 3 quickpicks. I should have 15 million dollars on Tuesday. I've decided that if I do win, I will most definitely post it on my website, even though they say you shouldn't tell anybody. But I'll also tell you up front, none of you are getting a fucking dime, so don't even ask. I'm not gonna be one of those people who doesn't change. When they interview people about me you're all going to say, "Oh he's completely changed. He used to be a nice guy but now all he does is fan himself with $100s and laugh." Yeah, it's going to be sweet.

Some of the advice these brilliant lottery winners gave was to play the lottery as often as you possibly can, and make sure you don't take the lump sum. RE-tards. One poor woman who won $91 million played the lottery every week for 18 years. And while I can hardly tell her she's an idiot since she has $90.9998 million more than me, I can tell you she probably wouldn't have been as poor if she was making smarter decisions with her money than that. And that goober who didn't take the lump some will get 200k for the next 26 years, at the end of which he'll probably have nothing. Idiots.

I'm going to do it right, though. I intend to spend my 15 million within the first 6 months. Rawk!