I said before that I had migrated all of my social media content to posts on SideshoViD.com, but that wasn't entirely true. I had not posted any of my Instagram stories. To be honest, that's mostly because I didn't know I could. I thought that once they disappeared they were gone. But the other day I noticed my "Archives" on Instagram had every story I'd ever posted.

They made it basically impossible to access that content from my laptop, but on mobile, there was a button to click to download the photo or video. I was astounded at how quickly videos were downloaded to my phone and then uploaded to my website. They must be compressed or optimized somehow. It was literally as fast as I could click that they were done. As a result, it only took a few evenings sitting on the couch crunching through them to complete 2018-2024.

The cool thing about that is that there was a period of time, a couple of years even, where stories were the sole format I used. I liked that they were more ephemeral, less pressure, and felt more spontaneous or narrative. So now a huge chunk of time from around 2022-2024 that was previously unrepresented has some history here.

I also like that it took the topic tag for "squirrels" from obscurity to #6 most popular topic. Those were the primary years we spent getting to know Muffin and trying to get her to eat out of our hands. So that is all documented now for posterity. She's here right now in fact having a little breakfast before heading out to work. Look for her to pop up a lot more in the This Day In History section! 🐿

Yesterday I have my first ever colonoscopy. Normally they say you should wait until you're 45 years old. But I think that's not so much because it's a good idea to wait and more of that insurance won't cover it until then. I was talking with a doctor recently and mentioned that my father had had colon cancer and he said, "Oh then you shouldn't wait until you're 45 yous should start when you're 40." Mmmk, well I'm 44 and a half years old, so great.

Regardless, I got it on the calendar and scheduled it for this year. My gall bladder surgery had not only met my deductible, but pushed me over my out of pocket maximum for the year, so it would be covered at 100%. Although I have to admit I didn't ever verify that it would be covered, so there very well could be a massive bill coming. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Colonoscopies, insurance, deductibles. Could I BE any more adult?

Everyone told me the colonoscopy was no big deal. They just give you some of Michael Jackson's milk and you doze off into blissful slumber. NOT really the whole story folks. Before you do that you have to spend an entire day eating nothing and taking absurd doses of laxatives and Miralax. I don't think they do the prescription jug of juice anymore, since you can accomplish the same thing by abusing over the counter drugs. It was so terrible. I couldn't sleep the entire night because I had to run to the bathroom every 15 minutes, nauseously hungry, and trying not to get dehydrated.

Sure the actual procedure was pretty nice. I really did prefer the propofol over the general anesthesia for a full blown surgery. Waking up was gentle and peaceful, not jarringly confusing with missing bits of memory. They did find 2 polyps and those are being biopsied so all in all I guess it was a good idea that I got this done, but please jebus don't make me do it more often than every 5 years. I am not looking forward to the next one.

I think I might have made a slight error in judgement when I hastily shelled out the ridiculous amount of money that I did for this Sweeney Todd style straight razor. It's supposed to give you an unbelievably close shave. Instead what it gives me is a Jackson Pollack neck and face. Tonight I ran to get my camera when I was done shaving to try and capture the utter horror that was facing back at me in the mirror. This picture is after some of the redness had gone away and after I washed off the lather, inadvertently clearing the trickles of blood. It is so incredibly painful. My face will now sting for like two hours, or until I go to bed. And the best part is, I'm left with a thick stubble on my face for all my troubles. It's amazing how I can remove 8 to 10 layers of skin but leave the hair completely intact.

In my defense, I did not receive any formal training on how to shave and after doing some reading on the internet, I may be doing things incorrectly. The jerkoff that sold me the razor was just like, "Uh yeah, you put it against your face and the hair comes off." So I thought it would be that easy. But it's not. You really have to use a surprising amount of force to get the blade through the hair. And every fucking time I drag it across my skin, I feel afterwards and there is a full healthy beard left behind. So tonight I made the fateful decision to shave against the grain with my freshly honed (or stropped) blade. The hair is a little shorter, although I am no smoother, and my face is on fire.

I suppose that's why they call it the art of shaving. I don't suppose you can pick it up and get it right the first time. One website I read suggesting trimming only your sideburns for a few times and shaving normally on the rest of your skin. And then when you've got that down, venture a little further until you eventually shave your whole face. I might rethink my entire approach here and start over that way. One thing I don't intend to do is give up. It may be painful, dangerous, and draining, but I'm going to stick with it for a while longer. I paid way to much to just cut and run.

Get it?

Anyway, I'm off to sulk and watch TV. Only three more days until Febrehab starts and I can't wait. Czech you have-nots later if I haven't gotten tetanus by then.