Happy Easter everybody. Good luck out there searching for eggs (?) made of chocolate (?) that came out the butt (?) of a rabbit (?). I'm not 100% sure about the mechanics of that, but nonetheless, have fun. I'm just hoping this means that the gym will be close to empty.
Speaking of, there is this new scourge at the gym. It only started recently, but it is spreading. Grown men with ear buds in listening to music at full volume -- SINGING ALONG. WTF. Like OUT LOUD. And as annoying as singing would be to people around you, when you can't hear yourself at all, it's a special kind of horrible. I know of at least 5 people off the top of my head that I will not get on the treadmill next to or sit next to on the stretching mat because I know they'll break out into wincing, breathy, high pitched song the second I do. I wish I was more confrontational, so I could just tap them on the shoulder and ask, "What the fuck is wrong with you?" but instead I just shoot dirty looks that are not understood.
Normally for Easter lately we get together with my parents and have a smorgasbord of food from Honey Baked Hams. I even have a rewards number on honeybaked.com. But between you and me, all of their food is garbage. I mean, the ham is okay, but they also have these boxed sides and everything is just horrible. My dad had a little procedure on Friday and wasn't sure if he'd be up for it, so I was more than happy to accept their decline of getting together. Daniel did ask me what he should buy at the store as a special treat and I said he could buy some eggs and I'll make deviled eggs with salmon roe. That will be our homage to Easter.
I just got my new Chuck Norris shirt in the mail. If you go to ChuckNorrisFacts.com you can order one too. Also, if you haven't been to ChuckNorrisFacts.com then you are an idiot and you need to go read all the facts immediately; they are riotous. The best part of ordering your shirt is you get to design it yourself. You can choose from like 30 slogans and icons and size, arrange, color and combine them however you please. I <3 Technology.
I went to the Richardson Wildflower Festival on Saturday. Don't get me wrong; I like wildflowers as much as the next guy, but the reason I went was to see my beloved, Lisa Loeb. She was fantastic. There are few things in life that make me smile more than hearing "Stay" performed live by Lisa. When she got done, Daniel, Jenny, Steven and I moved into the shade by the gate to smoke a cigarette and look for Lisa's sister, Debby, so we could yell at her that she rocks. She was on the reality show #1 Single with Lisa and she ... well ... rocks. It turned out to be a good vantage point because Lisa walked right by us as she was paraded to the autograph signing table. I yelled, "I love you Lisa!" and Daniel yelled, "Great show!" and she totally looked at us, smiled, said hi, and thanked us. Eat that, you idiots that waited in line!
Today, I got up early to go to my Pillar Procedure check up. I ran down to my car with about 20 minutes left to make my appointment in time. When I got to the garage, I saw that my left, rear tire was fucking flat. I have never had a flat tire in my life. I called my dad to ask what I should do. He suggested changing it. DERRRRR. And that DERRRRR is for me, not him, since I honestly hadn't thought of that. My dad taught me how to change a tire once when I was 15. I thought it was an absolute bore, but thank g*d he did that. I managed to change it myself, with many dramatic text messages to Daniel claiming I couldn't. I was pretty proud of myself. I made it to my appointment about an hour late, but it wasn't a problem. Everything is healing nicely. No uvula snipping until everything is completely healed. Doctor's orders. Damn. Best part of the day? Both my checkup and fixing my "screw"ed up tire were FREE! FREE I TELLS YA! Thanks National Tire and Battery.
UPDATE!!!!1! Holy shit, I can't believe I forgot to include, like, the whole reason I started blogging today. This one requires a little bit of a back story that some of you have probably already heard but I'll tell it again because it's the greatest story ever told. One night while I was studying in the MSC with Allison our freshman year, I got up to use the bathroom. Having forgotten that they locked the downstairs bathroom at 9pm every night, I was quite embarassed when I walked full speed into a locked door. Furtively glancing around to make sure no one saw, I ran upstairs to pee. On my way back down, it hit me like a ton of bricks. As I told Allison the story, I looked at her and said, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" and we quickly gathered our things and ran giggling to a hiding place near the bathroom. We made a crappy hand-made sign on the back of a flier that read, "DOOR NOT WORKING PROPERLY. PUSH HARD!!!" Only "HARD" was underlined like 8 times. Then we used some tape from another flier to affix it to the locked bathroom door. We hid behind the stairs leading into the cafeteria and waited. Guy after guy after guy after guy walked up, read the sign, and then proceeded to fight with the door for a few minutes. One Chinese dude took a flying leap at the door and hurt himself. Two frat boys sat there each taking turns screaming at each other, "DUDE! It says push HARD!" All the while, we sat not 10 feet away with tears streaming down our faces, fingers firmly pinching our noses closed and our other hand suffocating the hysterical laughter. It still goes down as one of the best nights of my life. So you can imagine how hard I laughed when I went to use the restroom at NTB and found this sign on the door. I didn't want to photoshop it so you'd know that it was a real picture, but it reads:
"PLEASE PUSH HARD ON DOOR THANK YOU"
You can only imagine how many times I looked around to make sure two teenagers weren't perched within viewing distance laughing at me. Fucking punks.
Allison and I eventually did nail down our plans. I am reaching out to you all from the comforts of Plano at my parents' house (soon to be my residence as well). We drove up here today when I woke up from my drunken stupor and are departing tomorrow at 8am for Miami, Florida. I hear the rainstorms ain't nothin' to mess with, but I can't feel a drip on the strip.
We got a combo flight and hotel deal, so that's all taken care of. But I definitely had to go buy a whole new wardrobe for going out in South Beach. Ain't no surprise in the club to see Sly Stalone. I didn't want to look out of place so I spent $200 at Express. I needed to do that anyway. I even bought a pair of shorts -- my first in years and years. I've heard temperatures can reach 500 degrees on the Carribean Seas with the hot mommies screaming, "Aiy, Papi!" So I didn't want to get too hot.
Not sure how we're gonna get around so much. Hundred thousand dollar cars, e'erybody got'em, but we're too young to rent a car so we're just gonna try to walk everywhere. At least our hotel is right on the beach so that won't be a problem. We should be back on Thursday. I only came for two days of playin', but every time I come I always wind up stayin'. This the type of town I could spend a few days in. And then its back to College Station for my swan song ... then real life begins.
I'll be sure to update you all just as soon as I return to the land of peon, wanna-be, have-nots. Can ya'll feel me? All ages and races ...
Well the dinner was a raging success. Everything turned out wonderful. Except for the fact that I was supposed to bake cookies but never got around to it. So I was supposed to bake cookies today but again didn't get around to it. I'm just lazy, I didn't feel like doing it. Maybe I will tomorrow when Allison gets here. She loves to bake.
Can I please tell you how bored I am to be in Plano. The only reason I don't go back to College Station like right now is that I know its not going to be much better there either. There's just not a damn thing to do all day long. And my dad has the AC programmed to go off during the day when no one's home ... nevermind the fact that I AM. Its so hot and boring. If anyone is in Plano and also bored, email me or IM me or use your detective stalker skills to find out my cell phone number and call me. I'm bored off my rocker.
