Well, I happened to notice that today marks exactly one year since my glorious return to SideshoViD.com. I just did a quick inventory and I made 38 posts in that year. That's actually a lot more than I was expecting. Though I have to say the addition of Instagram-like and Twitter-esque formats really helps boost those numbers. I wish I had thought of that back in 2002.

I came back from Spain, felt fine, went to work for a week, etc. Then Saturday afternoon I started to feel kind of shitty. I was sick right before Spain, so given how quickly I was feeling sick again, I decided to do what I never do and go straight to a doctor to get tested and find out what is ailing me. The doctor just called and said my test results were unusual, so it would be easier to explain over the phone (ALWAYS a good sign). I tested positive concurrently for 3 infections - a coronavirus (not COVID), an influenza bacteria (not the flu), and whooping cough? Fuck me. But the good news is a zpack will wipe out both bacteria at the same time, so I guess it's a good thing I went to the doctor straight away instead of waiting 3 weeks to see if it resolved on its own. Maybe I should do that every time I get sick. Is that what doctors are for?

In other news, I've been making minimal efforts to drink marginally less. One way I have done that occasionally is zebra striping. That's where you alternate one alcoholic drink, then one non alcoholic drink. The problem is, every non alcoholic drink sucks ass. They're just juice. Like, don't serve me a glass of juice and call it a MOCKTAIL. That is infuriating. So I went on a quest of my own to make a zero proof cocktail at home. Problem is, fake "liquors" are even worse. They're not even juice, they're just tea. Like literally a weak brewed spicy tea and they call it a whiskey replacement. It's insulting.

Well, folks, I am pleased to report I finally found a good one. I was talking through it with AI, because obviously, and I told I wanted the bite, the flavor, the viscosity, the burn, the aroma, like everything. And it came up with 3 suggestions. We happened to be at Total Wine this weekend so I bought one of them. I told Daniel, "If this sucks, I'm giving up entirely." But it didn't suck. It's awesome. It's St. Agrestis Phony Negroni. And it pretty much tastes exactly like a real Negroni. Very satisfying and very reassuring that I should check out the other two AI suggestions and maybe get a repertoire going. We'll see, but I'll keep you all posted if I don't die first.

The last destination on our whistle stop tour of Spain was Madrid. Barcelona was big. Granada was cute. Seville was medieval. And Madrid was hip and sexy. It immediately had a different feel from the other cities. There were also rainbow flags ev-er-y-where. I dunno if it was just the neighborhood we were in, but it seemed like every bit of the city that we saw was the same. There was even a sex club next to our fancy hotel. We got brave one night and went in to check it out. It seemed like the more raunchy activities were all downstairs and we could just sit upstairs, fully clothed, in the tiki lounge and just have a drink. But the guy at the door didn't speak English and we couldn't really ask and then we got scared and ran away.

The first night we had reservations at the oldest continuously operational restaurant in the world, Botin. We got a set down in the basement which seemed more desirable than sitting upstairs. Daniel had eaten there many years ago and wanted to see if the grilled prawns were still the best thing ever, but after we ordered they came back and said no prawns tonight. Boo. So we both got the suckling pig that I read online was the most famous dish. And it was really good. As we were leaving the host guy said, "Did you see the wine cellar?" And we said no and he said oh you can't leave without seeing it. So back downstairs we went, and then down another level into a dark cramped brick covered tunnel filled with dusty wine bottles. And he kind of gestured, "Over here, there's more." And as he did he rubbed his hand on my crotch, and I thought, oh no! Don't acknowledge it, he'll get embarrassed! It's so cramped in here! And then it happened again. And again. And again. And then he put his hand on the small of my back and then ran his hands down and grabbed my butt. Haha. At that point, I looked at him and said, "Ohohokay, buddy. I think that's enough." I was SO excited to tell Daniel that I got groped. As we walked up the stairs from the cellar, I turned back to him and we both said at the same time, 'I just got molested!" This dude was doing it to him too! Like WHAT did he think was going to happen, best case scenario in a crowded tourist trap restaurant. So funny. We've both STILL GOT IT!

We did yet another tour in Madrid and our tour guide was awesome. He's even written books on Spain and gave us each a copy I look really forward to reading. We learned a bit more about the flip side of Spanish history after the Moors with the Spanish monarchy. This one is of note because they inbred SO fucking much that the later sovereigns were like deformed and sterile and it was a whole thing. We went through the Prado and our guide knew just about everything there was to know about just about every painting in there. It was really impressive and we had a wonderful day of learning. My fav.

The next dinner was at a Michelin star restaurant. We weren't sure we'd be up for it after so many nights of eating out in a row, but it ended up being a great idea. My dick didn't get groped, but my palate did get challenged. So many dishes I had ZERO idea what it even was that I was eating. And we paired it with a bottle of Krug, a nasty little habit we've developed, so that made it even more fun.

The Reina Sofia museum is full of modern art. It was sorta more inspiring than the Prado because I felt like I could do all of it. In fact, I might try. Instead of finding art for our house, what if I just made forgeries of existing pieces. It would be fun to try anyway. Our final dinner of the trip we just could not stomach more tapas, so we made a few aperol spritzes in the "red level" lounge at the hotel, then walked over to Popeye's and had a very disappointing chicken sandwich. The day we didn't fly home until 4pm, which was kind of sweet. Slept in, had a leisurely breakfast, took our time getting to the airport, and when we finally got home it was already time for bed. Win win win. All in all a great trip!

Our driver took us about an hour and a half directly to our Seville hotel. We did the Hotel Colon Check in, and then headed out a little, but again we were a little limited by the temperatures. Just so damn hot in the middle of the day. And the Spanish don't really subscribe to the religion of air conditioning. Our room was just slightly air conditioned. We actually spent the first night sleeping with no covers. But then we cranked the air down to 60 and left it running with the curtains closed nonstop the remainder of our stay and got it down to serviceable temperatures. I'm sure the maids were absolutely horrified at the waste, but the building just wasn't built to withstand such high temperatures ... and neither was I.

I told Daniel there damn well better be some feliz compleaños balloon in the room when we arrived, because the next day was my 45th birthday. And he delivered! Haha. There were some balloons (most of them inflated), a little tart, and a bottle of Freixenet! I mean, I didn't drink it, but it was a nice decoration. Freixenet, freixenet, ooh lah lahhhhh.

Naturally we had another guide who showed us all the times the muslims built something and then the xristians took it over. The food in Seville was pretty legit. Our first night we had tapas (obvi) but they were like elevated and delicious. One was a shrimp toast that we couldn't stop talking about. Then my birthday dinner was a tasting menu overlooking the river and I think that was maybe the best meal of the entire trip.

The next day is what we call a "David Day." A David Day consists of absolutely nothing scheduled. It allows for a day of rest and doing absolutely nothing, maybe sleeping. Or it allows for more spontaneous plans to be pursued. This time, we saw a modern market building called Las Setas (the mushrooms) on our tour and saw that they had a "modern" Flamenco show and went online and got tickets. The setting certainly was modern with lots of projectors and color changing LEDs, but the Flamenco was just Flamenco. So I felt like the light show kind of detracted more than helped, but it was still really good. And our tickets came with a free drink - bonus!

Our train ride from Barcelona to Cordoba was honestly a little long. Like 6 hours, but probably exacerbated a tad by us drinking too much bottomless wine at the fancy dinner the night before. When we got to Cordoba it was seriously 43°C outside, just boiling hot. The driver was cool though, because he asked us if we'd eaten. It was past 4pm and we had not eaten. But since we were already pulling onto the highway the options were limited. Not that I need to defend myself, because we saw a sign for McDonald's and asked him to pull in. It was so good.

Then it was another like hour car ride out into the countryside to this place called Bobadilla. This beautiful resort with horses and pickleball courts, and a few giant pools surrounded by beds and umbrellas. The first full day there though we took a car ride over to Granada and met up with our tour guide. I really liked Granada. I think of all the cities we visited if I had to move to one I would choose Granada. It was a perfect mix of midsized cute city.

We also visited La Alhambra, the moorish fortress. It was really cool and a perfect introduction to Spanish history, which is entirely comprised of the Muslims built this, then the xristians took it over and built on top of it. There you go, you know the whole history of literally every city. My friend Lee had been to Alhambra and said it really struck him how beautiful and ornate the Muslim sections were and how drab and boring the cathlick sections were. And while I agree to some extent, after a while the moorish decorations just get exhausting. Like fellas, an ounce of restraint would really send this to another level. But it's just moor, moor, moor.

Then the next few days we just spent lazing around the resort, swimming, and eating at restaurants on the premises. One night was a casual dinner, the next was a communal BBQ, and the third was at the fancy restaurant. All very good and much needed rest and relaxation and from there it was on to Seville via car service.

Well I made it to Australia. Let me tell you something. If you are planning on coming here, make damn sure that it is something you really want to do because it is not an easy trip. After my flight out of LAX was delayed 5 hours in the middle of the night, my total travel time was 27 hours. And then as soon as I landed Allison and Dom (Allison's fiance) and Erin and Jeremy (friends from America who are leaving on Monday) were all waiting for me. We were supposed to go to Jervis Bay at 7:30am when I landed, but instead I got in around 12:30. So immediately after getting through customs we hopped in the car and drove 3 hours south. Brutal.

As we were piling into the car Allison was like "You can sit up front." And I kind of paused, assessed the situation, and then said, "I really don't think you want me to drive." I'm an idiot. First time I've ever been in a country where they drive backwards cars. It was really weird. I couldn't quite get used to it. Every time we went around a bend in the road and I saw traffic coming toward us in what my brain was perceiving to be our lane, I would tense up for a split second thinking a head on collision was imminent. I was already a little shaky from no sleep.

But we finally got here. I knew it wouldn't be hot since we're in the souther hemisphere and we went so far south, but it's even colder than I thought it was. And there's not really a beach here. We're going to drive out today and find some beaches. But we got this really cute little 3 bedroom place right near the water. I fought and fought to stay away last night. We stopped at a grocery store and bought all kinds of meat and then bbq'ed it last night. I got a picture of myself throwing some shrimp on the barbie! Then we ate, explored, drank some beers. Finally around 10, I think my eyes closed for the last night and Allison took me to bed. So I woke up around 6am. I got up and turned on the radiators to warm up the place. And then I made a cup of tea and went out on the patio to just kind of look out over the water. And right then four bigass kangaroos hopped right in front of me. We saw some kangaroos over where we got the keys to this place. Like 15 of em. And then we saw two in the neighborhood eating out of a bowl someone had put out on their front lawn. And then this morning I saw those four. So I've already seen like 20 kangaroos. We were joking that it was working out so well that next we'd see a koala riding on the back of a platypus.

It was really fun out here. I loved doing something mundane like going to an Aussie grocery store. I read the ingredients for Vegemite -- yeast. Gross. I'm going to eat some when we get back to Sydney. I can't wait to see the big city but it sure was fun to be out here. I'll be back with more exciting stories soon. Peace.

I am so bad at updating these days. If I have any Sidesho-Viewers left, I want to apologize to all of you for my absence. It's not that I don't want to update, it's just that 9 times out of 10, I'm fresh out of ideas. I hate it when I get too many narrative blogs in a row. It seems rather self indulgent to think you care what I'm doing without having something funny to say. Speaking of self indulging...

We have a new hangout here in Addison! Circle. It's called Astoria and it is our new favorite place. The owners could not be nicer. We had a long term goal of getting to know them on a first name basis so we would feel at home there. They greatly accelerated our schedule into the first night we were there. They couldn't be nicer. Tonight it started raining on us, so they brought us inside, set up a smoking section, and brought us lots of fresh menu ideas for us to try and give feedback on. We really want them to be hugely successful, so the next time you come to visit, let's go have a coffee or a drink or something to eat.

They also have flat screen TVs around with DVD players. So they encouraged us to bring in a movie, have some friends, they'll set up a viewing area for us, serve us drinks and watch the movie. Sounds like too much fun. We want to try that asap. We ran into our favorite Addison! celebrities tonight and they told the owners that I was an amazing guitar player. In reality, they were just amazingly drunk the night I played for them. Drunk ... and huge John Denver fans. So you know I blew their socks off. The owners want to try to get an open mic type thing going on there so they asked if I would ever be interested in starting things off. One of my biggest goals in life, back when I was young and stupid and had goals, was to play an open mic night before my 18th birthday. I missed that mark by a good 8 years, but I could make amends with my younger self by doing it at Astoria. I only know a handful of songs, but it would be fun to go play them in a corner. Someone might listen, but probably not, and that would rock. I really hope I go through with it.

I have made good progress on the bar. It is now grouted and sealed and looks amazing. All that's left to do is put some drawer fronts and cabinet doors, stain them, and then paint the back wall. Oh, and line the drawers with foam and velvet. And then we are open for business. Realistically, we're probably looking at a cold weather unveiling, but you know for a fact that I'll be keeping you updated.

A few new projects on the horizon. The first is a dress for Lindsey that I've been promising ever since I finished Katie's dress back in April. Daniel was just in New York for 5 days and found time to steal over to Mood, our favorite Project Runway endorsed fabric store. He got me a beautiful black and white silk print (I can't sew silk) and some black silk to go with the sketches I came up with. If I can pull this off, it just might be an attractive garment.

I was also in Barneys last weekend and found a fur lined hoodie. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I can't remember the last time I was this excited about an article of clothing. But, needless to say, I was not $675 excited. So Daniel also picked up some faux chinchilla fur from Mood and I'm going to line my own hoodie. I also intend to run headphones up into the hood that will hook into an iPod that will rest in a custom iPod pocket. And I want all of the pockets to have magnets in them so they will stay shut. It's going to be rad. I want to start that first, but Lindsey wants her dress. Hopefully they'll be enough time to do them simultaneously. I need this hoodie yesterday... but I suppose I can wait until it isn't 100.

Much love to everyone getting hit by tropical storms and hurricanes right now. Hope your houses aren't flooding, or if they are, that you have good insurance. Cha ching. Later sluts.