We are almost to the 21st Febrehab in history. This one I think is going to be relatively easy. I decided that the only things I'm giving up besides alcohol are caffeine and sugar. There's a couple of reasons for this. Firstly, I am about 8 lbs lighter than average. Turns out 18 months of health issues are a great diet! So I don't really want to lose weight.

Secondly, this year after having my gall bladder out and being advised to avoid fat, and then having a really bad kidney stone and being advised to avoid oxalates, I hired a dietitian. They were covered by my insurance and I figured that would be a lot easier than doing all the research myself and coming up with a new diet plan. I met with a guy on a zoom call and he seemed really knowledgeable. He laid out what he would do in the way of tracking food, balancing macro-nutrients, and increasing calories, protein, and calcium. Turns out I've been under-eating for years, and not getting nearly enough protein. And even though my kidney stone was made of calcium-oxalate, and I was advised to reduce oxalates in my diet, the other thing you can do is INCREASE calcium. Turns out more calcium in your diet binds up the oxalates before they can get to your kidneys.

Then the douche ghosted me. He never delivered a meal plan. He never spent one second thinking about me after our initial meeting. But ... what he did do was make me think, "Oh that's all you were going to do? I can do that." So I built a spreadsheet and started meticulously tracking what I was eating. Then I made minor adjustments to breakfasts, lunches, and dinners until a week of eating balanced everything out. That included having a protein shake every day, since it's nearly impossible to get enough protein without it. We both think we're seeing a change at the gym since we work out consistently, but perhaps were just starving our muscles previously, and now they are able to grow.

So, I don't feel like abandoning my new healthy balanced diet just to deprive myself for a month. This will be an easy Febrehab as a result. It's not without precedent, but they've been getting harder lately. And last year was the 20th anniversary, so I made it especially hard.

Speaking of 20th anniversaries, tomorrow is my 20th anniversary with Daniel. You believe that? I do. Love you, Daniel! Here's to the next 20.

I said before that I had migrated all of my social media content to posts on SideshoViD.com, but that wasn't entirely true. I had not posted any of my Instagram stories. To be honest, that's mostly because I didn't know I could. I thought that once they disappeared they were gone. But the other day I noticed my "Archives" on Instagram had every story I'd ever posted.

They made it basically impossible to access that content from my laptop, but on mobile, there was a button to click to download the photo or video. I was astounded at how quickly videos were downloaded to my phone and then uploaded to my website. They must be compressed or optimized somehow. It was literally as fast as I could click that they were done. As a result, it only took a few evenings sitting on the couch crunching through them to complete 2018-2024.

The cool thing about that is that there was a period of time, a couple of years even, where stories were the sole format I used. I liked that they were more ephemeral, less pressure, and felt more spontaneous or narrative. So now a huge chunk of time from around 2022-2024 that was previously unrepresented has some history here.

I also like that it took the topic tag for "squirrels" from obscurity to #6 most popular topic. Those were the primary years we spent getting to know Muffin and trying to get her to eat out of our hands. So that is all documented now for posterity. She's here right now in fact having a little breakfast before heading out to work. Look for her to pop up a lot more in the This Day In History section! 🐿

I am eating my words right now. And that is all that I am eating. I said I wanted a Febrehab that would truly be a challenge for my iron will, and I've gotten it and then some. This is unlike anything I have ever experienced. Near starvation every waking hours. There's never a moment's respite from the screaming hunger. I was told it would eventually go away but my body is resisting the reprogramming. At this point, I am going to say I will never do the Master Cleanse ever again. I don't know how I'm going to make it for two weeks, because I am beyond miserable right now. Maybe like a regular rehab, day 3 is always the worst. Maybe tomorrow will tip the scales in my favor. I sure hope so. Although, even if I'm in pain and misery for two weeks, I still won't waver or cheat.

I am losing dangerous amounts of weight, even though the scales say I gained a little bit back today. Still, 5 pounds in one day hardly seems like a healthy amount. And I guess the cleanse itself is working. Since I haven't put solid matter into the equation in three days and I keep getting solid matter out, it stands to reason that it has been inside for some time. And I think it makes sense to flush it out every once in a while. So I'm feeling encouraged there.

My sense of smell is starting to become more acute. I'd read that I could expect it to be a heightened sense, but I don't really think I smell any better. I just think I zero in on food odors. Which is to be expected. I can smell and identify everything that is within noseshot of my cubicle all day long and it is just torture. I am craving cheap fast food Mexican at the moment with margaritas and cigarettes. This March party is going to be off the heazy. Even though March 1st I'll be in OK for my niece's birthday party. But when I get home, it's on. So be looking forward to that. I'm going to go lay on the couch, conserve calories, and wait for American Gladiator, brother.

So I decided tonight that my skunk stripe isn't what it used to be. The roots had started growing in and the blonde was severely faded, giving my hair almost a natural look ... which you all know I hate. So I decided to get my stylist, Ryan, back over here to bleach out my skunk stripe again. Only this time I decided I wanted it fucking WHITE. To achieve this, I left the bleach in my hair for a solid 45 minutes. And this is the Frost 'n Glow of yesteryears for dark brown hair.

Well there it is. I achieved my goal of getting it white, however, I'm afraid that it might be falling out. My friend David (WHO IS SOMEONE OTHER THAN ME, YOU HALF WITS!) is over here monitoring the drying process and keeps telling me that its falling out. Then he tells me that its fine. Then he says its falling out. I'm freaking out.

If it holds together, it will look really cool. If it all falls out I'm going to have to shave my head. This could be catastrophic to the fox hawk. I will certainly keep you all posted. Pray for me (in Keith's case, that will be to Joe Pesci ... but whoever you pray to works). Thanks, you have-nots, catch you on the flip side.